By Zephyria 
Chapter 2
Hae-won woke up naked on a bed damp with semen and sweat, curling his body into a ball. His head throbbed from the raw amount of soju he’d downed, his stomach burned, and a strange place hurt. He lay there for a long while, unable to even open his eyes, wondering what that musty smell was. Finally, pushing up his dry eyelids, Hae-won let out a sigh.
“Ah.”
Go Tae-gyeom. Soju. Cock. Sex. Hae-young. Phone call.
Memories flooded back like a bursting dam.
He bolted upright and ran into the attached bathroom. Gripping the toilet, he retched, vomiting out the guilt that filled his stomach. Since emotions are neither visible nor tangible, the water rising in the bowl remained clear. Hae-won shoved his fingers down his throat, forcing himself to gag.
“Ugh—!”
Nothing came out. No matter how many times he pushed his fingers in, nothing emerged from his throat; instead, melted gel leaked from his open backside, dripping drip, drip onto the rusted tiles. Ripples formed on the still surface of the water in the toilet. Tears fell in clusters, draining into the pipe in place of the emotions he couldn’t vomit out.
Just before the sunset faded into darkness, he turned off the fan—which had been running so long the motor was scorching—and pushed it into the corner of the room. All that remained were the soiled sheets and pillow. The drinks had been cleared away. Two washed cups sat neatly on the dish rack, and the used condoms were tied at the ends and tossed in the trash. One thing was bothersome… a half-used bottle of gel stood on the tidied low table, label facing forward. Hae-won snatched the gel and threw it into the trash.
The smelly sheets and pillow spun around inside the top-load washing machine. He closed the balcony door, which made a grating creak, creak sound every time it moved, returned to his familiar room, and turned on his phone.
[I’m leaving]
The short text left by Go Tae-gyeom was the first thing that appeared. He pressed the delete button and dialed Seo Hae-young’s number, which he had long since memorized, digit by digit. He could have easily contacted him through the address book, but this felt more comfortable.
He quickly completed the eleven-digit number, but his thumb hesitated before pressing the call button. Did it show? That he had been having sex. He stared at the numbers he could dial with his eyes closed for a long time before finally pressing the button. Ring, ring— the longer the signal lasted, the harder his heart pounded. His backside hurt. His eyes darted frantically around the small room. Finally, a lovely voice flowed through the connected call.
Did you sleep?
“…Huh?”
Startled by how pathetic his own sunken voice sounded, Hae-won quickly cleared his throat.
You went straight to sleep, right? Judging by when you’re calling.
“Ah. Yeah, sorry… I was tired.”
The tension in his hand, which had been unconsciously clutching his shorts, slowly released. Seo Hae-young’s voice was the same as always. Drowsy, as if he had just woken up, with an inflection and tone that left one guessing what he was thinking. A coldness that seemed kind but never asked a second time. It was the usual Seo Hae-young.
“What’s with the blanket. Did you buy a new one?”
No, just. I saw it.
“Why would you send that…?”
He felt like laughing. The trivial conversation tickled and tormented his chest. Would he be lying in bed today too? Playing mobile games. He had slept with a long-time friend he wasn’t even close with just because he wanted to maintain this peace for as long as possible. If he could keep this kind of relationship going a bit longer, it had been worth doing. Then, Seo Hae-young, who had been laughing along over the phone, paused for a moment before speaking.
Just. Ah, Hae-won.
“Yeah?”
I’ve started seeing someone.
Ah.
I want to tell you in person.
Whirrr, the sound of the washing machine tangled with a ringing in his ears. An answer. He had to answer quickly.
Why aren’t you answering?
“…I’m surprised. How, when you’re always at home.”
How… how was he supposed to finish that sentence? He was used to this kind of thing, but today, the words were scattered into pieces. The lukewarm silence stretched on awkwardly. Hae-won hit his thigh with his fist, struggling to pull words from his confused mind.
I’m jealous? No, not that. Congratulations? Are you getting married? How could you? That sounded condescending.
He didn’t know. He didn’t know what to say.
Come over tomorrow.
Seo Hae-young, who had been waiting quietly, gave that short instruction and hung up without waiting for an answer. Hae-won, whose arm dropped from his ear, muttered the sentence that had finally come to him.
“How did you meet? Someone from school? That Noona you introduced me to before? …Ah, fuck.”
He tapped his forehead with his palm, repeating it. How did you meet? Someone from school? That Noona you introduced me to before? He had memorized it, so he just had to say it exactly like that tomorrow.
Tears that had stopped in the bathroom leaked out again. He had cried hard while washing off the dried semen from every corner of his body, shoving fingers into a hole he’d never touched before to remove the excess gel, and scratching at the bright red marks on his neck with his nails, yet tears came again.
They were just ordinary tears. It definitely wasn’t because Seo Hae-young was seeing someone; it was just that occasionally… he occasionally cried. Hae-won wiped the tears with his sleeve, pretending it was nothing, and scrubbed the floor he had already wiped with a rag several times. It was embarrassing.
The washing machine stopped just as the tears ceased. He hung the cozy-scented sheets on the drying rack and took out the musty ones from the closet. Since there was only one pillow, he rolled up a towel and placed it under his head; his whole body throbbed. The memory of the penis that had tightly filled his empty hole and the weight pressing down on his back made him flinch, and he hurriedly rolled under the drying rack. Breathing in the scent of the fabric softener Seo Hae-young had gifted him made him think of Go Tae-gyeom less.
“…Smells good.”
Seo Hae-young had given him three bottles of fabric softener after smelling samples at the mart, and Hae-won had been using them so sparingly that he hadn’t even finished one bottle yet. Whenever something truly unpleasant happened, he would take out clothes that didn’t even need washing, pour in the softener, and hide beneath the fragrance. Then the shitty feeling would improve, and today was one of those days. A slightly unpleasant day that would be forgotten by tomorrow.
* * *
Hae-won, who had laid out his few pieces of clothing on the floor, was overwhelmed by a sense of dismay. It was fine that he had scrubbed himself clean for fear that the smell of semen remained. However, there was nothing he could do about the bright red nail marks on his collarbone and the bite marks that wouldn’t fade. He couldn’t wear a scarf in the middle of summer, and putting on a bandage would look even more suspicious.
“What do I do…?”
He hadn’t decided on an exact time to go, but he had to leave now to hang out a bit before his every-other-day part-time job. After much deliberation, he put on a white t-shirt with a tight neckline and faced the mirror. If he tilted his head, it was slightly visible, but he felt it was mostly covered. A feeling that it was somehow hidden…
As he tilted his neck back and forth, Hae-won suddenly let out a hollow laugh. Seo Hae-young wouldn’t even care, yet here he was, making a fuss as if he were the one cheating.
“…Pathetic, truly pathetic.”
He stood up from the floor and grabbed his phone. Timely, a text from Seo Hae-young arrived.
[Hurry up]
Repeating the questions he had memorized last night, he stepped out the front door. As he locked the door and took a step, a stinging pain shot up his waist to his spine.
“Ugh…”
It was walkable when moving around the small house, but as soon as he widened his stride, an unpleasant sensation arose, as if his limbs were being torn to pieces. As he left the apartment complex and headed toward Seo Hae-young’s neighborhood, he saw his reflection in the glass window of a shop with a ‘For Lease’ sign, walking with a clumsy waddle. A pathetic guy going to meet the guy he likes with such a ridiculous gait. Hae-won stopped for a moment to fix his hair and then started walking again.
As soon as he entered Seo Hae-young’s neighborhood, sweat began to bead. The sun beating down from above was too piercing. He shielded his eyes with his hand and pressed the doorbell. The gate opened without anyone asking who it was. He shouldn’t just open the door like that. Hae-won worried needlessly that Seo Hae-young, who was taller and broader than him, might suffer a disaster at the hands of a stranger by opening the door so carelessly, and stepped inside. As soon as he opened the front door, a sigh escaped.
“Ah. The laptop…”
He had intended to bring it yesterday but forgot again. Firmly planting the task of returning the laptop—which had been postponed yet again—into his mind, Hae-won walked up the stairs and froze in the pleasant hallway. A few words popped up in his brain, which had been floating with thoughts of the laptop.
Cock. Soju. Sex.
“Uh… hey.”
Go Tae-gyeom.
The guy standing in the hallway tapping on his phone gave a lukewarm greeting. Tae-gyeom looked at the silent Hae-won, rolled his eyes awkwardly, and slid the phone into his pants pocket.
Tae-gyeom was genuinely flustered. Though it was always the case, Seo Hae-young never gave a heads-up when inviting someone. Thus, it was easier to just accept whoever showed up at any given time. Yoon Hae-won was the person Seo Hae-young invited most often, so it wasn’t strange for him to appear whenever.
Cheeks flushed red from walking the hot streets, and long legs stretching out from under his shorts. He could see the knees, bruised deep purple from being pinned down from behind. The image of Hae-won twisting his body beneath him, letting out distant moans around this time yesterday, came back vividly. The feeling that the hole, which had taken a long time to stop before he left, was still tightening around his fingers, clinging stubbornly. His mouth went dry, and the area below his navel tightened. Tae-gyeom tore a smile across his well-defined lips.
He wanted to flip him over and fuck him right now.
“You here to hang out? No ice cream today?”
Tae-gyeom’s playful question, hiding his sinister thoughts, gave Hae-won a slight sense of relief. His tense shoulders slowly relaxed. We did it once, so it’s over. He muttered quietly as he brushed past Tae-gyeom.
“No.”
He felt a gaze piercing his back. Hae-won put strength into his legs and stepped firmly to walk properly. However, Tae-gyeom, noticing the slight limp, followed behind him with a suppressed laugh.
“…Seo Hae-young.”
“You’re here?”
Seo Hae-young’s room always smelled good. He didn’t know what scent it was. It was cool yet conversely warm, fresh, and sweet. Whenever this scent wafted from afar, Seo Hae-young would soon appear. Like a conditioned reflex, his heart fluttered whenever he smelled it. Today was no different.
Seo Hae-young, lying listlessly on the bed, smiled prettily, and Hae-won wiggled his toes inside his slippers. Every time that guy smiled like that, it felt ticklish.
“Come here.”
Rolling over onto his stomach, Seo Hae-young beckoned with his hand. Despite the gesture being like calling a pet dog, Hae-won quickly stepped forward. He slid down to sit beneath the bed, meeting Seo Hae-young’s eyes. Resting his cheek on his crossed arms, Seo Hae-young held a smile for a long time before parting his red lips.
“Nothing to say?”
“…Nothing to say?”
Hae-won, who had been looking at Seo Hae-young’s long, thick eyelashes, asked back stupidly. In an instant, his eyes locked onto Tae-gyeom entering the room. His cheeks and neck stiffened, and the fingers resting on his knees stopped moving.
Could Go Tae-gyeom have already told him, like a sneak?
Unaware of the clinging gaze, Tae-gyeom went under the air conditioner and lounged with his phone. He didn’t seem to have said anything. His heart thumped.
“Hmm? Nothing to say?”
While he was trying to gauge the atmosphere, a finger pushed his forehead. Hae-won turned his stiff neck to meet Seo Hae-young’s eyes and then let out an exclamation.
“How did you meet? Someone from school? That Noona you introduced me to before?”
The sentence he had practiced several times popped out. This is right, right? Hae-won pulled up the corners of his lips, which were about to distort with anxiety. Seo Hae-young looked at the trembling corners of his mouth, burst into laughter, and buried his face in his arm. The forced smile froze. Is this not it?
Peeking out from between his arms, Seo Hae-young whispered softly with a lingering laugh in his voice.
“I don’t want to tell you.”
“…Why?”
“Ju-ust because.”
Hae-won let out a hollow laugh of disbelief and pulled up his knees. His knees throbbed where they touched the rug, but he ignored it and pushed Seo Hae-young’s shoulder. Lightly, so it wouldn’t feel like an unnecessary touch.
“What is it. Why won’t you tell me. How long has it been?”
“I don’t know.”
Burying his face in the pillow, Seo Hae-young chuckled. Separate from the smile that formed at the cute sight, his chest felt suffocated, as if tied tightly with a thick rope. Why won’t you tell me. Between us… But what exactly is ‘between us’?
No matter how many times he nudged the shoulder or even snatched the pillow away, Seo Hae-young kept his mouth shut and let out playful laughter. The longer Seo Hae-young laughed, the more anxious Hae-won became. He became more anxious fearing that his anxious expression would show, and more…
“You said you’d tell me in person. I came for nothing…”
So he changed the subject. In a light tone, so it would feel like a joke. Slowly withdrawing his smile, Seo Hae-young hugged the pillow. He ended up in a staring contest with Seo Hae-young, who looked at him so intently it was embarrassing. Five seconds, ten seconds, fifteen seconds. Hae-won sheepishly averted his eyes after fifteen seconds. After slowly scanning the pink-flushed rim of Hae-won’s ear, Seo Hae-young buried his face in the pillow.
Hae-won didn’t ask about the partner anymore. If Seo Hae-young didn’t answer within three questions, it meant he didn’t want to, and Hae-won had no right to ask further.
Lying limp on the cool rug that held the chill of the wind, Hae-won turned on his phone to check the time. There were about three hours left until his part-time job. He had received a message asking him to come early, so he had to leave by 7 PM.
For someone who had invited him over, Seo Hae-young spent his time just tapping on his phone, behaving exactly like someone who had just started dating. Why the hell did you tell me to come, you crazy bastard? He wanted to curse, but he didn’t have the right.
“Hey, Yoon Hae-won! Come here.”
As he was sinking into a deep depression, Tae-gyeom, sitting on the three-person sofa, called his name without taking his eyes off the monitor. It seemed he had started a game while Hae-won was bickering with Seo Hae-young. The distracting beep-boop of the background music echoed. When he turned away and ignored him, a pleading voice followed.
“Ah, Hae-won—! Hurry. Help me clear this!”
Whine, whine. He didn’t want to hear it. Just as he was about to cover his ears, Seo Hae-young got up from the bed. Holding his vibrating phone, he gave a look.
“You’re good at it. Help him.”
The continuously ringing phone bothered him more than Seo Hae-young’s words. He sat up and rested his chin on the plush bed.
“Did you get a call?”
“Yeah. I’ll go take it.”
“Why not take it here?”
Who is calling that you have to go out to answer? Hae-won narrowed his eyes to try and see the screen, but Seo Hae-young was faster in slipping away. Smiling with his eyes curved, he crossed the room with the phone to his ear.
“I don’t want to. Hurry up and go.”
Even though the design was not much different from the white t-shirt Hae-won was wearing, it looked much better thanks to his broad shoulders. Seo Hae-young strode out of the room and disappeared, closing the door behind him. Hae-won, who had been clicking his nails against the rug, sighed and stood up. It was his duty to help if Seo Hae-young told him to. Tae-gyeom, unable to wait, whined again.
“Hey, hurry! Come here already.”
“I’m coming.”
Dragging the soles of his slippers across the floor, he approached the sofa. He walked around the sofa, which had its back to the door, and sat down with some distance. As he reached for the controller Tae-gyeom was holding, the white controller was thrown onto the table in front of the sofa. Immediately after, a large foot pushed the nearby table away with a screech. Hae-won followed the controller that had flown out of reach and slowly raised his head. Tae-gyeom, with a slight frown, gave him an irritated look and spat out a curse.
“Fuck… took you long enough.”
Resting his elbow on the armrest and propping up his chin, Tae-gyeom glanced at the closed door and undid his pants buckle. His menacing penis sprang out from the loosened zipper. Although it was the same penis he had held inside him for hours yesterday, the shock was great. Hae-won looked back and forth between the vein-ridged penis and Tae-gyeom’s face, lowering his voice.
“…What are you doing?”
“What do you mean. I’m curious about our Hae-won’s mouth.”
“Are you cra…! Hey, you said yesterday was the end…!”
Tae-gyeom tilted his head, stroking his penis with a nonchalant expression.
“I don’t know? I don’t remember.”
“…Are you insane? This is Seo Hae-young’s house, you fucker.”
Piece of shit. He wanted to punch that smiling face. He shouldn’t have trusted Go Tae-gyeom’s word. In his panic, Hae-won looked back at the closed door, but he was grabbed by the scruff of his neck by a rough hand and instantly dragged to the floor. The moment he grabbed Tae-gyeom’s shin to stand back up, the back of his head was pressed down. A hot, humid penis was rubbed against his dry, cooled cheek. A bored voice dropped from above his head.
“Ah… Hae-won. If I were you, I’d just suck it quickly and get it over with. Before Seo Hae-young comes back.”
Tae-gyeom’s thumb forced open his tightly closed lips. Hae-won twisted his head, grinding his teeth as he tried to avoid the glans tapping against his lower lip.
“You said just once. You told me… not to!”
“Am I the one talking? Ah, then I should say I touched your ass. That I kneaded it like crazy.”
The hand gripping the back of his head tightened and released, as if kneading. The whites of Hae-won’s eyes, glaring at Tae-gyeom, were stained blood-red. Tae-gyeom, absorbing that sharp, piercing gaze, chuckled.
“Let’s make this quick. Okay? I’ll cum soon.”
“You son of a bitch. Just drop dead.”
Ignoring him, Tae-gyeom pressed down firmly on the soft lips to force them open. The neat lower teeth looked sharpened as if they might bite into his genitals at any moment, but he pushed the glans in without a care.
“Just open your mouth.”
“Ugh…!”
The fishy scent of the glans touched the tip of his tongue. Hae-won frowned and tried to pull his head away, but the hand pressing the back of his head exerted more force, pushing him forward. His mouth opened involuntarily, and the thickest part entered. Disgusting. Hae-won gripped the short fibers of the rug tightly.
“Don’t grit your teeth. Just imagine you’re sucking Seo Hae-young’s cock.”
“Ugh, ack…!”
The member pushed relentlessly into his mouth. His lips were stretched to their limit, the corners of his mouth pulled taut. It wouldn’t go in any further. Shifting his kneeling knees, Hae-won gripped the sofa with both hands and pushed himself back.
“It’s not all the way in yet.”
But in an instant, Tae-gyeom’s hand slammed the head that was trying to retreat back into his crotch. A gag reflex surged as the member slid down his throat. Hae-won’s arched back shuddered.
“Ugh, k-kkh…!”
“Haa… this is great too, Hae-won…”
Tae-gyeom leaned forward, pressing Hae-won’s head down hard. The member, forced into the damp space, twitched. His nose rubbed against Tae-gyeom’s pubic hair, and his eyes bulged. Suffocating, Hae-won clawed at the fabric of the sofa, pushed blindly, and punched Tae-gyeom’s thighs. Despite the fierce resistance, the member remained lodged in his throat, and the hand pressing the back of his head did not let go.
“Kkh, ugh!”
“Let’s hurry. Before that bastard gets here.”
Tae-gyeom gripped Hae-won’s head with both hands and pulled it straight back. The moment the glans cleared his front teeth, Hae-won gasped for air and leaned against Tae-gyeom’s knee.
“Haa, haa…! Wait, ugh…!”
And immediately, his head was shoved back between Tae-gyeom’s legs. His airway was blocked. Choking, Hae-won gripped the knee he could reach, and physiological tears dripped from the corners of his eyes.
With Hae-won’s head buried in his crotch, Tae-gyeom tilted his head back and let out a low groan. It felt filthily good. A different kind of pleasure from when he shoved it madly into a hole sent a chilling heat racing down his spine.
“Haa… relax your throat. Don’t swallow your spit.”
Leaning against the backrest and looking down, Tae-gyeom wiped the corners of Hae-won’s eyes, which were flushed bright red from the rush of blood. As moisture came off, a chilling smile appeared.
“Yoon Hae-won. Are you crying right now?”
“Ugh, ugh…”
Beneath a heavily distorted brow, tears tumbled from his squinting eyes. Barely swallowing the laugh bubbling up, Tae-gyeom released the hand pressing the back of his head. As if he had been waiting, Hae-won spat out the member and coughed violently.
“Haa, huff… cough…!”
Tae-gyeom gave the shuddering Hae-won a moment to catch his breath, tapping his cheek with his erect member. Before long, he grabbed the chin of Hae-won, whose tear-filled eyes now held a fierce glint. He rubbed the glans against the lips, but the firmly closed mouth would not easily open. Clicking his tongue, Tae-gyeom flicked the lower lip with the glans and sneered.
“Ah… Hae-young is going to come in. What should I tell him?”
‘Hmm? What should I say, Hae-won?’ With a spiteful expression, Tae-gyeom thrust his hips once. The slippery member brushed against Hae-won’s lips and cheek, poking just below his eye. A curse burst through the teeth of Hae-won, who was glaring at him with eyes full of moisture.
“…Piece of shit.”
“I know. Now, hurry up.”
Not missing the moment the swollen lips parted slightly, Tae-gyeom slid the glans in and stroked the back of the head with his large hand. The hesitant manner wasn’t bad, but a certain amount of urging was necessary. Resting his arm on the backrest, Tae-gyeom pouted his lips and whispered loosely.
“Seo Hae-young is coming in…”
The door was not in Hae-won’s field of vision. His eyes darted frantically. Should he just suck it and be done with it? What should he do? He shouldn’t have let him in from the start. Disgusting. It’s so fucking big. His lips hurt.
“Fuck, Hae-won.”
The moment the irritated voice dropped onto the crown of his head, Hae-won flinched and instinctively opened his lips, swallowing the massive weapon. A repulsive piece of flesh touched his tongue. The fishy taste triggered a wave of nausea.
“Mmph, mmph…”
“Yeah… good choice.”
He was still, but there was no telling when he might move erratically, poking the uvula. Hae-won’s paralyzed reasoning reached the wrong conclusion: Let’s just make him cum quickly and end this situation. He gripped the base and sucked the member rapidly. He had never sucked another man’s cock before, but he wasn’t so naive as to not know how. Holding his breath, Hae-won coated the slippery tip with plenty of saliva.
“Mmm, hmph…”
Sucking only the tip as much as possible, he rubbed the split end of the glans with his tongue. Tae-gyeom narrowed his eyes, looking down at the head moving slightly back and forth. It wasn’t a delusion. Yoon Hae-won, beyond just taking a cock in his hole, had a talent for sucking it. Though there were still many lacking parts, it was a waste to do this only once.
“Haa… you’re good at this.”
Tae-gyeom hid his excitement, covering the parting lips with his palm. It seemed he wouldn’t be bored for a while.
“Hae-won… try sucking harder.”
He closed his eyes, rubbing the rim of Hae-won’s ear. The sensation of the wet tongue thoroughly licking the glans was pleasant, but it felt too weak to induce ejaculation. With a look of displeasure, Hae-won put strength into his lips and sucked the member in. The wet sound of sucking the flesh mixed with the cheerful background music of the game.
“Mmph, hmph…”
Just cum already, you fucker. As it was almost time for the phone call to end, Hae-won grew anxious when Tae-gyeom showed no sign of ejaculating. Finally, opening his mouth wide and covering his teeth with his lips, Hae-won sucked the member deep into his throat. Simultaneously, Tae-gyeom’s muscular stomach trembled.
“Haa… you’re fucking great…”
“Ugh, hng…! Ugh…”
Hurry, just cum already… The hand that had moved to Tae-gyeom’s thigh trembled. His jaw felt like it would fall off, and his taut lips were on the verge of tearing. He spat out the slippery, saliva-coated member and quickly licked it upward. While sucking the glistening glans, he gripped the base with both hands and shook it. Tae-gyeom’s mouth fell open at the sight of what Hae-won was doing, and he soon let out a hollow laugh.
“Wow, you crazy bastard…”
“Ugh, ngh…! Hng…”
Hae-won was simply in a hurry. This horse-cock needed to dump its semen as quickly as possible. Holding back his ragged breath, he worked his mouth and hands without a moment’s rest.
Tae-gyeom exhaled sharply, spreading his legs wider and gently stroking the thin hair. Focusing on the flushed face and the wet sounds, the sensation of ejaculation soon arrived.
“Fuck…!”
“Hng…!”
Grabbing Hae-won’s hair and pulling him back, Tae-gyeom stroked the member upward rapidly with his hand.
“Ah, open.”
Realizing what he was trying to do, Hae-won twisted his head to escape, but the gripped hair was yanked back sharply. The pain of his scalp being pulled hit him.
“Ack…!”
“Haa…”
Tae-gyeom ejaculated into Hae-won’s open mouth. He stroked it a few more times, squeezing out every last drop of semen and smearing it evenly around the mouth. Not only the bright red tongue, but the area around the lips was stained with white semen. Hae-won couldn’t bring himself to close his mouth. He wanted to spit out the lukewarm, fishy liquid, but to do so, he would have to hold it in again. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. Unable to do anything, he could only roll his eyes in panic.
“Ugh…”
“Swallow it. Now.”
Releasing the hair, Tae-gyeom personally closed the open jaw. Even as a tearful Hae-won shook his head in disgust, the hand did not let go.
“I said swallow it.”
Tae-gyeom, who had been holding and shaking the face with both hands, thought for a moment and then pinched the straight bridge of the nose with his finger, blocking the mouth. Unable to breathe, Hae-won shifted his kneeling knees.
“Mmph, mmph!”
“There. Swallow.”
Finally, Hae-won’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Watching Hae-won’s expression of absolute disgust, Tae-gyeom grit his teeth to hold back the laughter that wanted to burst out. Seo Hae-young is a total idiot for not using something this good right next to him. He pinched Hae-won’s cheeks, which were gagging, and shook them gently.
“Aww, so pretty.”
“Cough… fuck…!”
Hae-won urgently raised his hand and scrubbed his lips clean. The unfamiliar taste lingering in his mouth was beyond repulsive. While Tae-gyeom hummed a tune, cleaned up, and adjusted his clothes, Hae-won slumped on the rug, gagging and struggling to get rid of the bizarre taste. As he swallowed the saliva constantly pooling in his mouth, a hand suddenly reached out, lifted him up, and sat him on the sofa.
“Hey, you piece of—!”
The moment he was about to explode in anger, his thigh was pressed hard under a large hand.
“Ah. Yoon Hae-won is so bad at this-.”
The controller that had been pushed away was now in his hand. And the sound of slippers frictioning against the marble floor clung to his back. The sound of fingers brushing the sofa backrest, the scent of someone sitting next to him while slightly pushing his shoulder. And then, the voice.
“Did you lose?”
“Yeah. Yoon Hae-won is dead. He’s not the guy he used to be.”
On the monitor, ‘Game Over’ had been displayed since the moment Tae-gyeom threw the controller. The brilliantly flashing screen made it confusing whether it was celebrating the defeat or mocking it. Swallowing the pooled saliva, Hae-won fiddled with the controller on his lap.
The smell of semen. It probably smelled… He couldn’t lift his head. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, white semen would trickle out. And his hands. He had touched that bastard’s cock with his hands too… As Hae-won secretly wiped his palms on his pants, he startled and looked up the moment a light touch tapped his shoulder. Seo Hae-young was excessively close. He held his breath, terrified that the smell would be in his breath. Eyes with black rims and brown centers looked straight into his. After a long silence, Seo Hae-young asked in a questioning tone.
“Did you cry?”
Hae-won blinked his wide eyes and hurriedly looked away.
“Uh, yeah… because I lost.”
“…The game? You cry because you lost a game?”
He gave a small nod with his head bowed low. It was embarrassing, but it was better to say he cried because he lost the game than because Go Tae-gyeom’s cock poked his uvula. Seo Hae-young looked down at Hae-won with an incredulous gaze, and Tae-gyeom cleared his throat. Thanks to the bizarre excuse, the atmosphere was completely ruined. Quickly wrapping an arm around Hae-won’s shoulder, Tae-gyeom playfully patted his cheek.
“Why are you crying? There, there! Our Hae-won, stop crying!”
“You’re dead. Take your hand off…”
Raising his elbow, Hae-won sharply jabbed Tae-gyeom’s side, who was subtly touching his earlobe. With a yell of “Ack!”, Tae-gyeom pulled away and began to whine, clutching his stomach. Taking this opportunity, Hae-won beat the broad back with fists full of emotion, then suddenly straightened his waist. A ticklish sensation felt at the nape of his neck traveled down his skin and pulled open the collar of his T-shirt.
“Hae-won, what’s this?”
Startled, Hae-won covered the nape of his neck with his palm and bolted upright from his seat. Tae-gyeom, who had been half-lying down from the beating, sensed the strange atmosphere and subtly checked the situation. Seo Hae-young placed the rejected hand neatly on his knee and gently waved something toward the overreacting Hae-won.
“A hair.”
“Ah…”
It was a short hair, clearly showing it had been damaged by just a single strand. Hae-won scratched the nape of his neck, where the goosebumps remained, and glared at Tae-gyeom for a moment. Tae-gyeom shrugged with a sly smile. Swallowing his irritation, Hae-won thought that if he could just hit him hard once whenever he acted like that, his wish would be fulfilled.
Detached from the psychological warfare between the two, Seo Hae-young’s eyes moved quickly between them. Tae-gyeom, smiling slyly, and Hae-won, who didn’t seem to appreciate that smile at all. A strangely damp air and a familiar… The fingers tapping the sofa armrest rhythmically stopped. Resting his chin on his hand, Seo Hae-young curled his lips into a smile.
Hae-won.
“Eat before you go. You must be hungry.”
What have you been doing?
* * *
After being fed dinner, Hae-won headed to the convenience store as if escaping. Arriving thirty minutes early, vitality flickered in his eyes, which had been as cloudy as the dead eyes of the previous shift part-timer. Without even having time to face and greet them properly, Hae-won ran into the bathroom inside the warehouse. He lifted the toilet lid and shoved his head down.
“Ugh-!”
For the domestically inept Seo Hae-young, saying ‘Eat before you go’ was the same as saying ‘Cook for me.’ Tae-gyeom was much the same, and a few people had asked if it wasn’t bothersome, but Hae-won had always enjoyed meals with Seo Hae-young. The refrigerator filled with fresh vegetables, meat, fish, fruit, and even desserts. To Hae-won, who not only lived alone but also lacked money, that refrigerator was nothing short of a gold mine. Thanks to Seo Hae-young, who hated letting strangers in, the cooking was solely Hae-won’s responsibility. He was happy. Feeding Seo Hae-young, and making delicious food with fresh ingredients.
“Ugh, kkh…”
Though today, he threw it all up.
Gripping the toilet, he scraped up all the food stuck in his throat. However, the semen that had clung and seeped into his esophagus did not show itself despite several bouts of gagging. He flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth with tap water. A bitter taste lingered on his tongue.
“Are you okay…?”
While sucking water into his lips from his hand, Hae-won glanced up at the part-timer who was fidgeting with their fingers, looking anxious through the mirror. The part-timer in the blue vest paced, looking as if they weren’t sure whether to pat him on the back or not.
“Ah… yes. I’m okay.”
“Uh, um…”
Shaking off his wet hands, Hae-won brushed past the hovering part-timer and put on the blue vest.
“You can go ahead. I’ll take over.”
“Oh…”
The hesitating part-timer took off the vest and bowed. It was a convenience store with a pittance for an hourly wage; he was staying out of loyalty to the manager, but he felt he should quit soon. He didn’t like the smell of food that didn’t disappear even with the air conditioner on all day. Foods that left him feeling unpleasantly full. The nauseating smell. Hae-won endured the tedious time, suppressing the surges of nausea.
The shift ended at 9 AM. He would arrive home at 9:15.
Finally finishing work and returning home, Hae-won discovered a pair of unfamiliar shoes placed crookedly at the entrance and pressed his tired eyelids hard.
“You’re back?”
He should have just killed him from the start. Kill him, bury him in the next mountain, get caught, go to prison. Since it was unclear what he should even live for anyway, that didn’t seem so bad. Hae-won’s expression, riddled with regret, distorted. Tae-gyeom was approaching.
The moment he took off his shoes, he was thrown onto the floor. Tae-gyeom, who stripped off the T-shirt that had absorbed the hot sunlight in one go, lunged at him like a madman and sucked his nape repeatedly. Perhaps expecting to throw them away, the newly bought gel and condoms already had their packaging removed. Taking advantage of a gap, Hae-won kicked the guy’s thigh and retreated to the bathroom.
Since this was the prelude that always happened when his father came home drunk, Tae-gyeom, experiencing it for the first time, couldn’t catch Hae-won in time. Banging into the bathroom, Hae-won leaned his back against the door with the broken lock and grit his teeth.
“Why the fuck are you here! I sucked it for you earlier! Just go…!”
Tae-gyeom, letting go of the handle that was spinning uselessly, pushed the door with his shoulder. However, because Hae-won was bracing himself under the door that needed to be pushed inward, there was no progress. Tae-gyeom slowly crouched in front of the door and spoke in a smooth voice.
“Hey, Hae-won. What do you mean ‘earlier’… it was yesterday, yesterday.”
“Ah, so what! You said just once…”
“One becomes two, two becomes three… that’s just how it goes.”
“You piece of shit, seriously…”
Burying his forehead in his knees, Hae-won looked down at the tiles where the water stains wouldn’t come off no matter how much he scrubbed. Dull yellow tiles with chipped corners here and there. He was truly exhausted. As he rubbed his eyes and lowered his head again, Tae-gyeom continued.
“It’s not a bad thing, is it? You liked it, and I liked it.”
At first, he acted arrogant.
“Hae-won. Yoon Hae-won. Do you think Seo Hae-young would say ‘thank you’ just because you, fuck, take good care of your back hole? Huh? Do you think so?”
Then, he got angry.
“Just open up first. Let’s coordinate this ve-ry well.”
Then, he flattered. Between a door with peeling wood grain, persuasion and rejection, threats and curses were exchanged.
Hae-won responded occasionally to Tae-gyeom’s words, ignored him at other times, and counted the tiles with intact corners. It was only after about ten minutes that he realized—having lived blindly until now—that there weren’t many intact tiles. The moment he noticed, the door was kicked open. Hae-won, thrown flat on his face, did not push away Tae-gyeom as he stormed into the bathroom and stripped off his pants.
He was tired. The day before yesterday, yesterday, and today—all of it. He was simply exhausted.
* * *
“Haa, ngh! Hup….”
“Ah, fuck…. I was so hard yesterday….”
In a small, shabby house, inside an even smaller bathroom, beneath a tiny window, Hae-won gasped for air while clinging to another man’s neck. Tae-gyeom, with one of Hae-won’s long right legs hooked over his arm, thrust his member upward. Because Hae-won kept hitting the back of his head against the hard tiles, Tae-gyeom cupped his head with one hand, pressing the small skull down against his shoulder as he pushed his hips into the damp hole. It hurt. Hae-won felt only pain as the member forced open the swollen entrance.
“Hngh…!”
“Hey…. Quit the convenience store. I’ll give you money. Huh…?”
Hae-won ignored the pathetic suggestion, burying his lips into the damp shoulder. Tae-gyeom, perhaps swept up in the heat, ignored the curses and drove his lower body forward. Swallowing a scream that nearly escaped, Hae-won struck Tae-gyeom’s back with his fist.
“It hurts…. It hurts, so gently…, ah!”
“You loved it to death yesterday…. Stop pretending it hurts….”
“Fuck, it really hurts! I said it hurts, you fucker….”
Ha. Letting out a laugh tinged with irritation, Tae-gyeom yanked his member out in one go. Heeu…! No sooner had the pained moan escaped than Hae-won’s arm was grabbed and his body flipped. Unable to keep his balance, Hae-won staggered and awkwardly gripped the old sink.
“Now…!”
Tae-gyeom kicked his right foot. Hae-won’s foot slipped on the wet tiles, and just before he fell, Tae-gyeom grabbed his waist and pressed his back down. Pressed face-down against the sink, Hae-won looked up and stared at Tae-gyeom’s reflection in the mirror with confused eyes. Seeing Tae-gyeom wearing an expression one might have while beating someone up, Hae-won suddenly felt afraid, his back completely exposed.
Droplets of water fell from Tae-gyeom’s wet hair, tapping against his spine. With his back so defenseless, he didn’t know when his nape might be seized. And Go Tae-gyeom was an enemy. Though they weren’t awkward when alone, Tae-gyeom had never been truly comfortable, and now he felt faintly terrifying. Hae-won saw the moment the sneering lips twisted and opened in slow motion. Soon, a rough voice, sounding as if it were scratching the throat, dropped.
“Hold on tight, you brat. Let’s see if you really don’t like it.”
Tae-gyeom grabbed Hae-won’s awkwardly placed hands and forced him to grip both sides of the sink tightly. He had positioned him so that if Tae-gyeom let go while pressing his back, his face would smash straight into the faucet. Despite not knowing what was about to happen, Hae-won shook his head violently.
“Don’t…! Stop, ah…!”
Three fingers were shoved at once into the hole, where gel and tap water had mixed.
“It hurts, it hurts…!”
The hole, leaking thick gel, easily accepted the three fingers thanks to having swallowed a member just moments ago. Even so, every time the swollen entrance was touched, a spine-chilling pain surged.
Tae-gyeom sucked on the nape of Hae-won’s neck—who was bracing his weight with his head down—while moving his hand back and forth. In the narrow, humid space, things mixed and shook. The squelching sounds and the sound of strained, suppressed moans echoed through the small bathroom. Tae-gyeom began to drive his fingers in deep enough to push the body forward, using his entire arm.
“Ugh, hup…! Heuu….”
“You say it hurts? Yoon Hae-won… does it hurt right now?”
It did. The way his lower abdomen dipped and rose, the way his bracing arms and legs trembled, and the way his waist twisted involuntarily—it was all because of the pain.
“Ah, nngh…. Ah…!”
The way his erect member dripped slippery fluid, the way his eyes grew hot. It was all because it hurt.
“No… you said it hurts…. Fuck, why are you like this?”
Tae-gyeom, rubbing his lips against the smooth shoulder, exhaled a hot breath. Just poking the twitching inner walls while the fingers were clamped tight sparked excitement. The panting breath, the bare feet wandering the wet tiles trying to escape, the gradually arching spine. Tae-gyeom gritted his teeth, shaking his arm powerfully without pause.
“Hngh…! Ah! Ah…, please, just…!”
The arms supporting the sink collapsed. Hae-won lay prone, head pressed against the hard sink, enduring an overwhelming pleasure. He couldn’t stand it. The moment the fingers, which had been pounding in with a thudding sound, vanished and a thick shaft of flesh was shoved in at once, his legs—which had been flailing without balance—gave out.
“Haaa…!”
Tae-gyeom grabbed the waist with both hands, hauled the collapsing body up, and moved his hips with the same speed he had used with his fingers.
“Fuck, Hae-won….”
Hae-won’s body shook dizzily, impaled by the member erect to its limit. He couldn’t close his mouth. Pooled saliva dripped—drip, drip—onto the sink. His insides were overturned by the thick shaft stirring through them.
“Ah, ah…! Wa-wait…!”
He couldn’t possibly remain standing. His soles slipped on the cold tiles. With his lower abdomen touching the hard sink, Hae-won barely managed to brace himself by gripping the wall next to the small mirror with both hands, struggling to take Tae-gyeom’s inconsiderate thrusts.
“Hup, ugh…!”
It hurt. It had to hurt. He hadn’t even been drinking; there was no way this could feel good. And yet… every spot the thick member brushed as it forced open the inner walls and carved a path felt like a distant, hazy sensation. Whenever the thick glans pierced a certain spot, his breath hitched. Goosebumps rose on the nape of his neck, and his tense calves trembled.
“Fuck, you say it hurts? Are you sure it actually hurts?”
“Hngh, ugh…! Nngh…!”
Hae-won shook his head violently. Droplets of water on the tips of his hair splashed here and there. He hated it, it hurt. It was shitty and felt disgusting. It had to be that. Every time his buttocks collided with Tae-gyeom’s groin, Hae-won’s hands slipped further. If not for the squelching sound of gel in the hole, it sounded more like a beating than sex.
“Hey…. Hae-won.”
Tae-gyeom, gripping the waist that wasn’t particularly slender, squeezed with both hands. The pain of ribs feeling as if they were crushing followed, and Hae-won’s struggling intensified. Without loosening his grip, Tae-gyeom continued the hip movements and burst into laughter while facing the mirror.
“Fuck, you’re hard? Huh? You’re hard, you fucker….”
Startled, Hae-won lowered his head to glance between his legs. His fully erect member was leaking cloudy fluid with every thrust. No. That couldn’t be. Horrified, Hae-won stared blankly at his shaking member and tangled legs, letting out an “uh…”. Soon, a shout mixed with tears erupted.
“Haa, ha…. Stop it, I said stop…! You son of a bitch!”
“Ah…. That just makes me want to do it more, I….”
Tae-gyeom didn’t let up for a second, shoving his member in with a thud. Groaning, Hae-won’s cheek hit the mirror as he squeezed his eyes shut. His erect member rubbed against the cold sink. The ground beneath him vanished.
“Hngh…!”
White semen burst from the tip of his well-shaped member, scattering across the sink. Tae-gyeom wrapped his arm around the shoulders of the trembling, arching Hae-won and pulled him back, while using his other hand to stroke the sensitive member that had just ejaculated, continuing the hip movements.
“Haa! Ah! Stop! St…op it!”
Tae-gyeom exhaled a rough breath, looking at Hae-won’s face clearly revealed in the mirror. His distorted eyes were damp with pleasure. The erect nipples, the tight clenching of the buttocks, the trembling skin of the belly.
Hurt, my ass. He’s loving it to death, the crazy bastard.
Actually, he’d wanted to do this since yesterday in Seo Hae-young’s room. No, the hallway of that house. Those stairs. He wanted to pin him down with force, threaten him with his weakness, mount him, and fuck him. He wanted to crush Yoon Hae-won in a place where Seo Hae-young might return at any moment. Thrusting shallowly, he whispered into the bright red ear.
“Hae-won…. Do you like Seo Hae-young that much? Do you wish that bastard would do this to you?”
“Ah, ah…. Stop, please just…!”
Hae-won, choking on his breath, dug his nails into the back of Tae-gyeom’s hand as it crudely rubbed his member. It felt like something was going to break. Either the hole stretched wide by Tae-gyeom’s member or the member being forced into an erection. One of the two.
“Seo Hae-young isn’t that kind, you know? Why do you like a guy like that… huh?”
“Ugh, hngh…!”
His vision blurred into a distant haze. He stood on tiptoe, pushed against the tiles, and eventually stomped them, rubbing the back of his head against Tae-gyeom’s shoulder. Every time Tae-gyeom thrust violently, it felt like his buttocks were being slapped. When the member forced open the contracting inner walls and entered, sparks of light flew across his dark vision. It was a pleasure so intense he’d rather die.
“St…op it…. Fuck, Tae-gyeom, Tae-gyeom…. Please….”
Hae-won clung to the arms binding him and pleaded. It was agonizing. The member forcing him to awaken to a pleasure he hadn’t known, and his own body that was loving it to death just as Tae-gyeom said. Everything was agonizing.
“Hngh, ugh…! Stop! I said stop….”
Tae-gyeom, shifting his gaze from the verge-of-crying Hae-won to the mirror, widened his eyes.
“Wow, fuck…. Hey. Hae-won, ah…. Look at that. The mirror.”
Tae-gyeom, his lips curling into a wide grin, stopped moving. In the small mirror splattered with semen, Hae-won’s upper body was clearly reflected. Tae-gyeom raised the hand that had been shaking the clean member and rubbed the flat lower abdomen. He pulled his hips back far.
“Huu….”
Then he shoved it back in to the hilt. Hae-won trembled violently.
“Ack…!”
“My cock… is visible right here….”
The lean skin of the belly bulged. As Tae-gyeom slowly moved his hips while groping Hae-won’s lower abdomen, an unimaginable euphoria hit him. It wasn’t an illusion. Every time he pushed the member in, a faint outline appeared over the white belly.
“Wow…. Yoon Hae-won, seriously….”
“Please, please stop…. You fucker….”
Hae-won didn’t want to know what Tae-gyeom was talking about or why he was touching his stomach. He just wanted to escape. He wasn’t used to the violent pleasure brought by this bizarre sexual encounter. Was sex always like this, or was it because of Go Tae-gyeom? Whatever it was, he wanted it to stop. However, Tae-gyeom held the shaking body tight and continued to thrust.
“Heeu, please…. St…op it….”
“Ah…. This is fucking great….”
Holding onto the struggling, choking Hae-won, Tae-gyeom thrust his hips upward several more times, making up for the time he had waited. In the end, until Hae-won wailed with tears, over and over again.
* * *
Tae-gyeom, tidying up a few used condoms and their torn wrappers, glanced down at Hae-won sprawled on the bathroom floor. Breathing in thin, shallow gasps, Hae-won looked as if he might drift off to sleep at any moment. Between his legs, which hung limp as he sat leaning against the wall, a glistening fluid clung, and his thighs, still reeling from the afterglow of climax, were trembling. With a smirk, Tae-gyeom kicked through the clothes strewn on the floor like Hae-won. They were too wet to wear.
I should have come in naked. Shrugging, he left the bathroom.
“I’m borrowing some clothes.”
There was no answer from Hae-won. Returning to the stifling room, Tae-gyeom went to the wardrobe. As he grabbed the handle, which dangled as if it were about to fall off, it made a creaking sound. His brow furrowed instinctively.
“Pathetic bastard….”
He hadn’t noticed before, but now that he’d stripped him, Yoon Hae-won was on the lean side. Still, since he tended to wear loose clothing, there would be something that fit. Rummaging through the neatly folded clothes, Tae-gyeom found something reasonably large and sniffed the fabric under his nose. He wondered if it would smell foul, but a cozy scent filled his nostrils. A good idea suddenly occurred to him.
“Next time….”
Should I try it shoved in the wardrobe? The scent is nice. Lay him on top of the clothes, put those wide-spread legs over my shoulders. Ah. I should tell him to suck me first before I fuck him. Yoon Hae-won is good at sucking. Ah. What about the heat? The bathroom is reasonably cool. He’ll be drenched in sweat again.
Imagining Hae-won’s crying face, Tae-gyeom picked up his phone and wallet from the floor. Checking his phone, he raised an eyebrow at one of the accumulated messages. It was from Seo Hae-young. Reading the casual text inviting him to hang out, he left a greeting toward the silent bathroom.
“Hey. I’m leaving.”
The door closed, and the sound of the lock clicking from the outside was heard. Only then did Hae-won swallow a dry mouthful of saliva and push himself off the floor. Even as he tried to stand by gripping the sink, his hands kept slipping. Since it hurt even more whenever his buttocks touched the floor, he had no choice but to crawl out of the bathroom.
“Ugh….”
He didn’t even have the strength to wash. Collapsing onto the folded blanket, Hae-won blinked his swollen eyes. Is this what Go Tae-gyeom wants? Shoving a cock into a friend’s ass and shaking it? How many times? How many times until he stops? Until when?
Floating dust motes sparkled in the sunlight. Turning over, Hae-won followed the glittering dust with his gaze. When the dust vanished like smoke over Seo Hae-young’s laptop, Hae-won returned to a moment from a while ago.
Seo Hae-young isn’t that kind, you know?
It was something Tae-gyeom had spat out, intoxicated by heat.
He knew. Everyone knew.
Seo Hae-young was not kind. Someone who raises a fist just because they’re annoyed cannot be called kind, even as a white lie.
Seo Hae-young had swum for quite a long time. Broad shoulders, long muscular arms. A single proper slap from him could knock most people flat.
And it wasn’t just swimming. He’d tried every kind of sport. He especially loved sports that involved hitting people. Once, while visiting the gym where Seo Hae-young worked out to watch sparring, Hae-won had concluded that the guy’s personality was abnormal. The friends who had gone with him giggled and joked. They wondered if Seo Hae-young got aroused while hitting people. Now that he thought about it, Tae-gyeom had been among them.
“I don’t think so.”
Hearing that, Seo Hae-young had smiled and taken off his gloves. They were black gloves with white stripes. A few months later, those black gloves were in the trash. He had simply grown tired of them and moved on.
From the thought that Seo Hae-young wasn’t kind to the discarded gloves, his thoughts drifted until he fell fast asleep.
Waking up because of the heat, Hae-won lifted his stiff body. A summer night hit by a tropical heatwave was never cool. His limbs felt heavy and limp, but he felt better than before. Every time his thighs brushed, the sticky sensation was unpleasant. Just as he was rummaging through the wardrobe, intending to wash and lie down, he heard a clicking sound. Snapping his head up, Hae-won looked toward the entrance. It was the sound of a key being fitted.
“Who, khup….”
A hoarse, pathetic voice came out. While he cleared his throat, the key turned uselessly a few times. There was one person who often struggled to open the door to this house. The moment that person came to mind, goosebumps rose on his naked back.
“Hae-won. This won’t open.”
Hae-won bolted up and threw on clothes. Without even the presence of mind to put on underwear, he pulled on shorts first and then a t-shirt.
“Wait! Just a second!”
“It’s hot….”
It was just as hot inside. He hurriedly opened the small window and turned the fan on high. Humid, hot air crept in from outside. The sound of the key turning mixed with the thumping of his heart. There was still a mountain of things to clear.
“Wait, just a second!”
First, he pushed the blanket into a corner and hid the t-shirt rolling on the floor beneath it. Seo Hae-young always contacted him before coming home, but of all days, he had to show up unannounced today. He was panting, out of breath. If Seo Hae-young had opened the door on the first try, he would have shown him his bright red, exposed buttocks. Sweat pooled in his palms.
He thought he kept the place clean, but suddenly the whole house looked like a pigsty. He just needed a moment to tidy up, but the impatient Seo Hae-young urged him in a drawling tone.
“Hae-won-ah—.”
“I’m coming! Just a second….”
The smell. It wouldn’t smell, would it? Eventually, turning his back on the unsatisfactorily messy house, he opened the front door in just three steps. As the outside air rushed in, a white plastic bag with a convenience store logo blocked his view.
“Ice cream.”
“Uh…. Thanks.”
As he took the bag with both hands, the chill seeped deep into his palms. Seo Hae-young, who hadn’t shed a single drop of sweat despite saying it was hot, pushed past the shoulder blocking the entrance and stepped inside. With an anxious heart, Hae-won followed him in, muttering.
“I didn’t clean up…. You should’ve called before coming.”
“I thought you might be tired.”
If he knew I’d be this tired, wouldn’t it have been better not to come? I couldn’t understand that way of thinking, but it wasn’t that I wasn’t glad to see Seo Hae-young, who brought a pleasant scent with him. I only hoped he wouldn’t notice what had happened this morning.
Seo Hae-young took off his shoes with practiced ease and sat in the living room, basking in the breeze of the electric fan. As his fine hair fluttered softly in the wind, a thin breeze seemed to blow through Hae-won’s heart as well. Without taking his eyes off the yellowed wallpaper, Seo Hae-young spoke.
“Eat this.”
“This?”
Hae-won looked down at the bag in his hand and peered inside. He had wondered why it felt heavy; it was filled with ice cream. But…
“I don’t like this one…”
They were all red bean flavored. A dozen or so long, dark red bean ice cream bars were stacked there, but he couldn’t bring himself to touch them. He reluctantly picked up just one and put the rest in the freezer. He figured they would probably sit there for months.
“Come here.”
He calls me again, just like he’s calling a puppy. Hae-won let out a groan as he peeled off the wrapper and leaned against Seo Hae-young. In his haste to move, he had forgotten that his body wasn’t in great shape. The area between his buttocks felt sore. He slid the blanket over and sat on top of it.
“You come here instead of going on a date.”
Hae-won mumbled casually, the unwrapped ice cream in his mouth. Isn’t he at the prime of his life? I don’t know why he’s here just to feel the breeze of a fan. Glancing sideways, he didn’t look like someone who had stopped by on his way back from a date. Dressed in comfortable grey training pants and a white t-shirt, he looked as if he had just been lounging at home before coming over. Perhaps because it was hot, Seo Hae-young’s cheeks were flushed. He’s pretty. He always was, but even more so today.
Barely eating, Hae-won just licked the outside of the ice cream while stealing glances at Seo Hae-young. His eyes drifted down to the collarbones that peeked through whenever Seo Hae-young tugged at his t-shirt, before he quickly lowered his head. I’m like trash. What am I secretly looking at? Just then, Seo Hae-young’s voice broke through his thoughts.
“So, you’re telling me to go?”
Before he knew it, a vacant gaze had landed on Hae-won. Hae-won, still holding the ice cream in his mouth, shook his head awkwardly.
“No. You don’t have to go.”
He swallowed the useless words, I’d like it if you stayed. A smile finally appeared on Seo Hae-young’s expressionless face as he approached and sat cross-legged right in front of him. Hae-won backed away, leaning the back of his head against the wall. He was too close. While Seo Hae-young stared without breaking eye contact, Hae-won’s eyes darted around, unable to find a place to settle.
The gaze piercing his face was overwhelming. If his cheeks turned red, the horrified Seo Hae-young might just throw a punch. Ah. Do I smell? He wanted to catch a scent, but since Seo Hae-young was staring so intently, that was difficult too.
“…What is it?”
When he asked cautiously, gauging the reaction, Seo Hae-young moved a hand’s breadth closer. Then.
“Does it taste bad?”
“This? It’s just red bean.”
He turned the ice cream he had been slowly melting and eating. Despite the heat, the frozen ice cream held its shape without melting quickly. He figured he could at least ask why he had gone out of his way to buy a whole bag when he knew Hae-won didn’t like it. He looked up with a light smile.
“Why this…”
Hae-won’s gaze slowly dropped to the hand enveloping the back of his own. It was lukewarm. A warmth that was neither hot nor cold. A size that would make it hard to regain consciousness if hit by a fully open palm.
Why did he grab me? His thoughts became a tangled mess. His tongue froze, and he forgot what he had been trying to say.
“Eat.”
“Huh…?”
Seo Hae-young pulled his hand and held the ice cream up to Hae-won’s mouth. The fan, set to high, whirred loudly. Seo Hae-young’s eyes, with their faint double eyelids, curved into a smile.
“Say ah.”
‘Say ah.’
Tae-gyeom’s voice intervened in that lovely tone, blurring everything. Unlike the times he had kept his lips firmly shut, his mouth opened without resistance. The ice cream slid past his front teeth and pressed down on his tongue as it entered. Seo Hae-young kept his gaze fixed on the parted lips, slowly pulling the ice cream out and pushing it back in.
The blunt, melted end of the ice cream reached just in front of his uvula. He tried to suppress a gag reflex while gauging the other’s reaction, but Seo Hae-young’s expression was serious. As if he were observing something. This strange act was repeated several times, and the dark purple ice cream melted, wetting his lips.
Even as he kept his mouth open, Hae-won was confused. Every time Seo Hae-young pushed and pulled the long ice cream, something came to mind. Something much hotter, more disgusting, and a larger piece of flesh. Does he know?
“What are you doing…”
The pronunciation sounded more like ‘wha-aa’. He pretended to be composed, but cold sweat ran down his back. Eventually, he bit down hard on the wooden stick revealed by the melted ice cream to block further entry. When he forced a smile, Seo Hae-young, who had been watching silently, pulled his hand away. Hae-won took the ice cream, which was less than half gone, and wiped the messy syrup from his lips with the back of his hand.
“…How dirty. I have to wash up.”
He couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes. As he stood up using that as an excuse, a stinging pain followed. He tightened his core to avoid any slips and hurried into the bathroom.
The moment he threw the remaining ice cream into the trash can, he gasped. He unrolled some toilet paper and hid the used condom that sat lonely in the bin. After quickly brushing his teeth and rinsing his hands, he turned around, only to find a bigger problem remained.
“That fucking bastard…”
Tae-gyeom’s damp clothes were sprawled across the tiles. Pressing a hand to his forehead, Hae-won urgently picked up the pants and top, rolled them up, and hugged them to his chest. It didn’t matter that his own t-shirt was getting wet from the clothes. He peeked his head out of the bathroom first to see what Seo Hae-young was doing, but since the other had his back turned, only his broad shoulders were visible.
Hae-won closed his eyes tight and quickly crossed the room toward the veranda. In the blink of an eye, he opened the creaking sliding door, threw the clothes into the washing machine, and closed the lid. A sigh of relief escaped him now that one piece of evidence had been destroyed. As he stepped out of the veranda with an awkward gait and tried to close the door, he locked eyes with Seo Hae-young. Seo Hae-young smiled brightly and shook something in his hand to make it clearly visible.
“You used it?”
It was a condom box with the packaging torn. A chill ran down his spine. Unable to even close the door, Hae-won rushed over and reached for the box. Only after snatching the box from Seo Hae-young and hiding it in his hand did he realize he was breathing heavily. And that his kneeling knee was touching the shin of the cross-legged Seo Hae-young.
“Why… why is this here…”
Hae-won quickly backed away, muttering awkwardly. He tossed the condom box into a low drawer and lingered, pretending to rummage through it to buy time. Though they were in a relationship where excuses weren’t strictly necessary, his conscience pricked him. He had used a condom with another guy while longing for the one he loved. A surge of self-loathing welled up. How shameful.
He didn’t know why the cicadas, which had kept him awake until recently, were so quiet today. In the silent room where only the sound of the fan could be heard, a soft question seeped in.
“Was it good?”
Startled, Hae-won turned around and leaned against the wall. He shook his head, his shoulders trembling.
“I think someone left it behind.”
There were about four or five people who had keys to this house. Since one of them, Go Tae-gyeom, had left it, it wasn’t technically a lie. He stealthily gauged the reaction, and Seo Hae-young seemed to be thinking for a moment, tilting his head.
“Who came by?”
This was another difficult question to answer. He could have told the truth—that it was Go Tae-gyeom—but Seo Hae-young knew that even during their close high school days, Tae-gyeom hadn’t visited often. Quickly recalling the people with keys, Hae-won uttered a lie.
“…Joo Hyun-woo.”
“Joo Hyun-woo? He’s back in Korea?”
Seeing Seo Hae-young raise an eyebrow slightly, Hae-won hurriedly nodded.
Hyun-woo, who had gone to study abroad immediately after high school, was someone who, along with Seo Hae-young, had frequently visited this house. It was a stroke of luck that he suddenly remembered a message from a few days ago saying he was back in Korea and asking to meet up sometime. He watched Seo Hae-young with a nervous heart. Then, Seo Hae-young narrowed his eyes and asked flatly.
Is that so?
With that one phrase, the condom box that had fallen on the narrow floor was no longer a topic of conversation. Instead, a bolt from the blue arrived.
I’m staying over. I’m sleepy.
Hae-won struggled not to let his panic show as he spread a blanket on the floor. The scent of the fabric softener Seo Hae-young had gifted him wafted from the laundered blanket.
“It’ll be hot… are you okay?”
“There’s a fan.”
“Still.”
He couldn’t understand why someone would leave a house where the air conditioner runs all day to sleep in someone else’s humid home. As he placed a pillow on one side, Seo Hae-young approached and laid his head down. Hae-won, leaning over and gripping the side of Seo Hae-young’s waist, moved the fan to ensure a good breeze before returning to his spot. It seemed he hadn’t been caught doing things with Go Tae-gyeom. Because the man, who would have been horrified and beaten him up before leaving if he’d known, was lying there peacefully. Thank god.
…Then was the ice cream just a joke?
He wasn’t sure.
Hae-won closed his eyes for a bit; he couldn’t fall asleep, but Seo Hae-young, who always seemed to sleep right on schedule, yawned as if he were drowsy. Hae-won covered his mouth with the back of his hand to hide the twitching corners of his lips. When other guys yawned, it looked gross, but even Seo Hae-young’s yawn was cute.
Clearing his throat, he turned off the light and lay down a short distance away, using his arm as a pillow. Since he had given the pillow to Seo Hae-young, he had to sleep with his head on the bare floor, but he didn’t feel cheated. Staring at the faint silhouette in the darkness, Hae-won hesitated before speaking.
“Hey. Hae-young.”
“Yeah?”
The answer was thick with sleep. Still, he was too curious to hold back.
“That… the person you’re dating? Are you meeting… tomorrow?”
“Ah.”
Seo Hae-young, who had been lying facing the ceiling, turned his body. Three spans. An awkward distance, neither far nor close. Lying face-to-face, Seo Hae-young quietly murmured, his fingers tracing the blanket on the floor.
“We broke up.”
“…What?”
Hae-won couldn’t close his parting lips. His eyes widened. It felt as if the heavy burden pressing down on his chest had vanished with a single word. After a moment of silence, Seo Hae-young murmured again.
“Just kidding.”
“Ah…”
Of course. Even though he knew that spot could never be his, he felt a shameless sense of disappointment. However, the sleep-laden voice shook his heart once more.
“No. We really broke up.”
And then again.
“We’re getting back together. But we broke up.”
Only then did Hae-won realize Seo Hae-young was playing a prank, and he let out a deflated laugh.
“What are you talking about. Just go to sleep.”
Was he actually seeing someone? He had his doubts, but there was no reason for Seo Hae-young to lie. The pale moonlight filtering through the window illuminated Seo Hae-young’s lips. Pretty lips, curved into a smirk. Hae-won let out a light sigh and turned his back.
This was nothing short of a punishment. The reality of sleeping on the same blanket, with the person he loved right beside him, yet unable to say a word or make any contact.
As expected, sleep wouldn’t come. After tossing and turning for an hour, Hae-won turned toward the direction of the steady breathing. He saw Seo Hae-young sleeping soundly, oblivious to his turmoil. Seo Hae-young always slept like that. So deeply that he wouldn’t know if someone carried him away. Once he fell asleep, you had to grip his shoulders and shake him like crazy just to get him to open his eyes.
After contemplating, Hae-won gradually closed the distance. Three spans, two spans, one span. Before he knew it, Seo Hae-young’s high bridge of the nose was right before his eyes. He propped himself up on his elbow and lifted his upper body. He gazed silently at the sleeping face of Seo Hae-young before lowering his head as if possessed.
He hesitated for a moment before the plump lips, then softly pressed his lips against them. A thin, fragrant breath touched his cheek. He just stayed there, pressed against him. Just like the day his secret had been discovered by Go Tae-gyeom.
Five years of unrequited love. While that unrewarded time flowed, Hae-won’s heart had undergone numerous changes. At first, he thought just being by his side was enough. For as long as possible. After that, he wanted to hold his hand once, and after that, he wanted to kiss him. Then, he had nocturnal emissions featuring Seo Hae-young from his dreams, and as more time passed, he masturbated while imagining Seo Hae-young. He wanted to kiss him, touch him, and be touched by him.
Seo Hae-young’s firmly closed lips parted slightly. A warm, soft breath escaped through the gap. Without realizing it, Hae-won tilted his head further and locked their lips deeply. He carefully extended his tongue and pushed it through the gap. Brushing past the front teeth and further inside. As his tongue touched the soft, moist flesh, a shiver ran up his arms.
“Huu…”
The damp desire that had been lurking in a corner of his mind awakened.
He wanted to do with Seo Hae-young what he had done with Go Tae-gyeom. What he had done on this very floor where Seo Hae-young lay oblivious. He wanted to strip off their clothes, press their sweat-beaded skin together, and mix their bodies frantically like beasts. The bathroom would be good too. If he could share the pleasure that had left him sprawled over the sink with Seo Hae-young. Seo Hae-young’s large hand gripping his waist, those red lips brushing his nape, sucking each other’s cocks…
Startled, Hae-won jerked his upper body back up. The moment he saw Seo Hae-young’s lips, glistening with saliva, a dark guilt overwhelmed him.
What the fuck… you filthy bastard. You’re better off dead, you idiot.
Wiping his face with his hands, Hae-won stood up silently and went into the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and picked up the showerhead. He poured cold water, set to the lowest pressure, over his head. His lower abdomen throbbed. With a sigh, he fixed the showerhead and gripped his erect penis.
“Hng…”
He stroked himself while thinking of Seo Hae-young, sleeping beyond the thin wooden door. He leaned his forehead against the cold tile wall and swallowed his moans. At first, he thought of Seo Hae-young’s muscular body, then imagined their bodies overlapping, and then…
“Hng…!”
The ejaculation was quick. Looking silently at the thin semen on his palm, Hae-won slammed his forehead hard against the wall. He felt like crying because of the final image that had instinctively flashed through his mind just before he came.
The image of Seo Hae-young’s large cock forcing its way into his hole.
Thump. Thump. He slammed his head until his skull rang. Filthy bastard.
Overwhelmed by self-loathing, Hae-won distanced himself from Seo Hae-young and closed his eyes against the wall. Having ejaculated several times in one day, he felt hazy, as if drugged.
Falling into a shallow sleep, Hae-won frowned slightly. Even in his sleep, he could feel the heat of the tropical night.
“Ugh…”
It was too hot, but he couldn’t open his eyes. His consciousness, hovering on the boundary of sleep, floated hazily. It felt like sleep paralysis. He didn’t dislike the air pressing heavily on his limbs. Because if he just waited a moment, he could fall into a deep sleep. As he stopped resisting the pressure and let his body go limp, his lower abdomen felt ticklish. The t-shirt that had been slightly exposing his waist slid up.
As he breathed rhythmically and drifted deeper into sleep, his waist suddenly twitched. Mwah, the sound of lips attaching and detaching echoed. A damp sensation wandered over his left chest. And then, his nipple was sucked into a moist place. The sound of a suck was heard once more. In the humid air, the exposed nipple slowly peaked. And again. A soft sensation briefly sucked up the erect nipple.
“Hng…”
It tickles. What a vivid dream. His left nipple was being sucked repeatedly, and a sensation like a finger tapping came from his right nipple. Lying flat, Hae-won let out a faint moan and twisted his body. As he turned over, the bothersome sensation disappeared. In the comfort, his furrowed brow smoothed out.
Waking up late, Hae-won rubbed his eyes after confirming the spot beside him was empty. He really just slept and left. Pressing down his messy hair with his hand, he tidied the bedding. He folded the thin blanket he had slept under, and as he turned his head toward the pillow Seo Hae-young had used, his heart dropped.
On the pillow lay some leftover gel and a man’s belt that was clearly not Hae-won’s, neatly placed.
[Tell Joo Hyun-woo to take better care of his things]
Along with a single text message left by Seo Hae-young.