By Zephyria 
A hot, thick tongue swept across his damp eyelids. Ha-jin frowned at the fishy smell of kibble and tried to open his eyes, but his swollen eyelids were as heavy as stones. After shaking his head a few times and groaning, Ha-jin eventually gave up on pushing Pie away and relaxed his body.
Jun-seok appeared in his dream again today, without fail. Three days ago, he showed up in his school uniform and stole his snacks, and yesterday, he boasted about the salary he had saved up in the army and gifted him Magic tools.
His one and only blood relative was still cute, and he cherished and followed him to an extreme degree. He was just as mischievous and innocent as he was in his memories.
He would rather have him become a Zombie and threaten him fiercely, or resent him for being so late and wail, but he didn’t do any of that at all.
Ha-jin wanted Jun-seok to punish him, even in his dreams. He only vaguely thought that this might be a form of self-harm.
“Ugh…”
After lying still for a while, Ha-jin raised his stiff back. It had already been three days since he formally said goodbye to Jun-seok. That meant that today marked the third day since he had buried himself in a corner of the camper van and escaped into the world of sleep.
Ha-jin’s body was gradually withering away because he couldn’t eat anything and only threw up. In this state, he had no face to see Jun-seok, so he couldn’t even go back to the grave.
Behind Pie’s whimpering, there was the usual polite knock. Ha-jin rubbed his dark, dead eyes with the palm of his hand and answered softly.
“Yes.”
“I’m coming in.”
Eden, who opened the door and came in, immediately drew back the curtains hanging all over the trailer. When he opened the windows as well, the dark camper van became much brighter with the clear sound of birds chirping. The midday sun, passing through the sunroof, warmly heated Ha-jin’s crown.
“Let’s eat something today. If we continue like this, something really bad might happen.”
Eden stood in the narrow kitchen and shredded the chicken in the bowl into small pieces. Ha-jin could only stare blankly at his back.
Throughout the time he had been holed up in the trailer like a recluse, Eden had silently stayed by his side. He didn’t urge Ha-jin to go to the research center, nor did he scold him to stop crying. He only got scarily angry when he didn’t eat.
“Lee Hee-sung said he brought vitamins while getting antibiotics. He packed a pack for Do Ha-jin, so eat your rice today and take your vitamins.”
Eden carried the bowl and approached the bed where Ha-jin was sitting. Then, he took a spoonful of the cooled porridge and held it to his tightly closed lips. Ha-jin, looking at Eden’s worried brow, reluctantly opened his mouth.
As he held the lukewarm chicken porridge, which tasted like nothing, he reflexively gagged. It wasn’t easy to swallow, but he patiently passed the precious food over his throat.
After safely getting through the first bite, the next one was much easier. Before he knew it, Ha-jin had emptied half of the chicken porridge and was able to escape from his grasp only after taking a vitamin.
“Where did this come from?”
“Neverland is a food warehouse, so I guess Head of section wasn’t exaggerating. He said it was a chicken brought from there.”
Eden gently stroked Ha-jin’s dry cheek.
“How are you feeling today?”
“I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
As if he had asked an unnecessary question, he let out a hollow laugh and got up from his seat.
“Let’s wash up a bit. Do Ha-jin, you’re a mess right now.”
“…Yes.”
Eden led Ha-jin into the Welcome Center’s bathroom. Eden forcibly held onto Ha-jin, who protested that he could do it alone, and carefully washed his dry body. The hand that wiped away the dried tear marks on his cheek was somewhat rough.
Ha-jin blankly fixed his gaze on Eden’s erection below. The shower ended in an instant, and after that, a simple kiss followed. He took his lips away and gently stroked Ha-jin’s wet hair with his hand. The skinship did not continue any further.
“Let’s go.”
“…Yes.”
Ha-jin lowered his gaze and answered. He was a being who could not be of any help to Eden right now. He was just a half-wit lover who couldn’t even satisfy his sexual desire. But even so, Eden did not leave his side.
“Jeong Tae-geon.”
Eden, who was about to open the bathroom door, turned around at the touch of a hand lightly holding his arm. He put down the doorknob he had been holding and smiled softly.
“Why?”
“Aren’t you tired of me being like this?”
The smile that had been on his lips disappeared at the sudden question.
“What do you mean?”
“Because I’m always crying these days… and only hurting.”
The words that it was okay for him to leave, that he didn’t have to wait for him, rose to the tip of his throat. But in the end, he couldn’t utter those words.
He thought that the ending he wanted was to remain by Jun-seok’s side, consumed by depression and dying, but when he thought that Eden might leave, he felt suffocated.
“Do Ha-jin.”
Eden calmly said, looking into Ha-jin’s trembling eyes.
“Leaving the person who left behind with only negative emotions is something you can’t do to each other.”
Drip, drip… The water droplets falling from the ends of Ha-jin’s hair slowly soaked his shoulders. Eden swept his hair back behind his ear.
“If you don’t want to be tormented by remembering Do Jun-seok anymore, you have to keep emptying and pouring it out. If you want to cry, cry, and if you feel like you want to die, don’t deny it and just let it be. In that sense, Do Ha-jin is doing a good enough job right now.”
He briefly kissed the top of Ha-jin’s head, who was staring at him with a dazed look.
“So, there’s no need to be impatient. I can wait for Do Ha-jin until he’s okay, no matter how long it takes. That’s more beneficial for me, too.”
He couldn’t understand the meaning of the word “beneficial” exactly, but Eden’s comfort that he didn’t need to try to get better was enough to light a small fire on top of Ha-jin’s head, which was sinking into the abyss.
Ha-jin didn’t want to leave Jun-seok as just a painful memory. He couldn’t leave his brother, who was afraid of the dark, alone in such a dark abyss.
But he still wasn’t sure if the day when this pain would end would really come.
❖ ❖ ❖
Eden laid Ha-jin down, who had fallen asleep early before 3 p.m., and left the trailer again. While looking around for Pie, he met Hee-sung, who was limping back to the campsite with firewood on his back.
He stopped in his tracks, startled, and bowed his head in greeting. Eden flicked his chin dismissively and was about to turn his gaze away when Hee-sung immediately approached him.
He put the pile of firewood in front of the artificial fireplace and asked, smoothing the hair that covered his neck.
“Um, if it’s not too much trouble, can I talk to you for a moment? …About Jun-seok.”
Eden glanced back at the camper van where Ha-jin was asleep and gestured for Hee-sung to follow him. The two sat down at a table in front of a large tent with torn tarpaulins.
“Hyung also heard it back then, right?”
Eden watched Hee-sung, who was calling him by a comfortable title before he knew it, with indifferent eyes.
“Heard what?”
“What Jun-seok was saying.”
“……”
“Before Jun-seok died… he called out ‘Hyung’.”
Eden neither denied nor affirmed, only stared at him blankly. Hee-sung scanned the table with an anxious look and continued.
“When Ha-jin Hyung briefly fainted, Jun-seok, we… sent him away, right? At that time, he was definitely saying it…”
At those words, Eden recalled the time when he first encountered Jun-seok. He went out through the iron gate in place of the dazed Ha-jin and was able to easily find Jun-seok, who was wandering near the bench.
Even though he looked much worse, he definitely resembled Ha-jin. Not to mention his height and build, but especially the shape of his eyes, which were long and round like almonds, was similar.
Jun-seok, who was unusually slow in his movements even among the many Zombies, did not show any particular reaction to the hands that roughly bound his body. The same was true when he was dragged inside the iron gate. It was then that Eden felt a tingling in his heart for the first time.
While Ha-jin, who had faced his brother directly, fainted after wailing, he struck the back of Jun-seok’s head instead.
Eden couldn’t fall asleep easily that night. Was it because he had killed a blood relative who resembled Do Ha-jin with his own hands, or was it because he had faced the pitiful face that slowly cried out “Hyung” just before he died?
He had never even imagined that he would feel this way, even when he heard the story of Ha-jin’s unfortunate childhood.
“If possible, don’t say that out loud.”
“Yes?”
“If it gets into Do Ha-jin’s ears, I don’t know how I’ll kill you then.”
Eden, who gave a short warning, left Hee-sung, who was making a foolish expression, and got up from his seat.
The fact that a Zombie was crying out a specific word was as meaningless a phenomenon as howling, but it was a problem that could cause further confusion to the person whose name was called. Especially if it was Ha-jin now.
Eden decided to cover it up for Ha-jin’s sake. He had been able to tolerate it so far, but he couldn’t stand to see him collapse any further here.
He was about to move his steps, ignoring Hee-sung, who was desperately following behind him, when he felt a slight tremor beneath his feet. Eden, who suddenly stopped walking, tilted his head.
Soon, a loud explosion was heard along with the rough vibration of the ground.
Bang! Kwaang─!
As the noise that suddenly tore his ears rang in his eardrums, he raised his gaze in panic. Black smoke could be seen rising between the tall trees. Without even having time to think, Eden ran towards the trailer where Ha-jin was sleeping.
“Woof! Woof!”
Pie, who had been quietly rolling around in the grass, also hurriedly began to chase after him.
People burst out of the trailers one by one with shouts.
“What the fuck, what is it, did a bomb explode?!”
“Everyone, grab your weapons and come out!”
Eden arrived in front of the camper van, cutting through the commotion. As he stepped inside, Ha-jin, who seemed to have just woken up, greeted him on the bed with a surprised expression.