By Zephyria 
“Because they might try to persuade the only healer in the U.S. using Dr. Carter as a pretext. If left alone, Dr. Carter isn’t the type of person to spread rumors himself.”
“That certainly seems likely… but we have the Guild Master here in our country, right? Surely he wouldn’t just choose his brother and vanish instantly?”
Tae-un’s eyes flickered slightly for the first time at the question, which essentially asked if he would easily be lured away by a brother when he had a lover fourteen years his junior right here in Korea.
“…That’s not the case.”
However, that agitation vanished with a single blink of his eyelashes, leaving Gwak Yun-sang unable to read his expression.
Having regained his composure, Tae-un muttered as he loosened his tie, which had been tightening firmly around his neck.
“If he had to choose between me and Dr. Carter, Si-baek hyung would choose Dr. Carter. Without a doubt.”
“O-oh, come on. You two are, uh, on good terms too.”
Since it was a statement difficult to respond to, Gwak Yun-sang struggled to gloss over it. Fortunately, it seemed Tae-un’s business was concluded, as he didn’t say anything more and resumed walking. Gwak Yun-sang followed closely behind with quick steps.
“Even if I keep my mouth shut, won’t rumors naturally spread if other people see the two of you being close? It’s not like you can lock him in a room.”
“That’s for you to handle.”
“…Y-yes, sir.”
Gwak Yun-sang, who had asked back because Tae-un had unexpectedly given him advice, was reminded of his place by that cold remark. While thinking that he should do his best to keep people quiet to buy time and brainstorm a repertoire of pleas to cling to Kim Si-baek’s pant legs to keep him in Korea, he called Director Noh.
If he were to find his brother, what would be the first thing he would say? Would he hug him and whisper that he missed him? Would he worry if he was hurt anywhere? …Until he had confirmed his brother’s name in that ledger, there were nights he had spent awake with such imaginings.
Now that he had met the brother he had once given up on in despair after confirming his death, Kim Si-baek didn’t even know what he was saying. He simply muttered a single phrase over and over, the one he had painfully whispered every time he met his brother in dreams and illusions.
Only an apology, saying he was sorry.
Cloud, who had been listening in silence, asked back as he watched his brother’s tears fall onto the back of his hand.
“Why is hyung apologizing? Did you team up with Father and sell me? Did you stand by while Father sold me? Did you split the money from selling me with Father? You didn’t.”
“…Si-woon.”
“I don’t know the reason why hyung is apologizing.”
His speech was clumsy and slow, just as it had been when he was a child, but Cloud spoke in sentences that were incomparably more coherent and complete. At his brother’s words, spoken in genuine bewilderment, Kim Si-baek was able to wipe away his tears and smile.
“Our Si-woon speaks so well now. Hasn’t it been over thirty years since you were adopted?”
“I didn’t know when I would meet hyung, so I kept practicing and learning Korean so I wouldn’t forget it.”
“Good job. I only know ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ in English.”
One might have expected a laugh in response to the joking remark, but the gaze staring back remained expressionless. Just like when he was a child, and just like in the dreams.
A fragment of a dream eerily scratched at his chest, which was filled with the passion sparked by the reunion with his brother. Kim Si-baek took a deep breath and cradled his brother’s hand. This warmth was neither a dream nor an illusion. It was his living brother.
“…Hyung is still the same.”
“Huh? Ah, sorry. You’re not a child anymore, so it’s a bit weird that I keep touching your hand, right?”
Kim Si-baek tried to withdraw his hand quickly, but Cloud instead held onto it. As if feeling the warmth he hadn’t touched in decades, a murmur flowed in a considerably slow tone.
“Because I was autistic and didn’t react much, you used to touch my hand or face slowly on purpose to let me check my surroundings. It’s the same now.”
…As expected, that distinct behavior must have been autism. Kim Si-baek swallowed the bitterness caused by his own ignorance.
And at the same time, he realized the reason why his own habit had formed. The reason he had particularly enjoyed fidgeting with Tae-un among the children at the orphanage was partly because he liked how plump he was, but above all, it was because he was similar to his brother.
He had embraced him with an immature heart, thinking that if he cherished him and maintained constant contact just as he had with his brother, this child might be able to blend in and live and mingle with people.
…It was a sudden realization, but just how much he had projected his brother onto Tae-un.
〈I really love my name, hyung.〉
Recalling Tae-un’s willingness to accept it sweetly without showing any displeasure, even though he could have been offended, Kim Si-baek looked at the empty space where he had been. It was the same now. At some point, he had quietly withdrawn from the room, taking Biyendwe with him without a sound.
As if it were natural for him to be the one to yield.
〈Who will hyung choose between me and that child?〉
〈If Si-woon hyung had been alive, he would have been a far more precious person to hyung than someone like me, who ruined hyung’s future, right?〉
The two voices, similar yet different, kept making his head throb, so Kim Si-baek focused more on the conversation with his brother.
“I looked it up later and found out that people usually dislike physical touch. You hated it too, didn’t you? I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I don’t like it, but hyung was okay. Even though I was young, I knew that if it weren’t for hyung, I would have died already.”
On the nights when his father’s violence and verbal abuse soared, the brother who used to burrow into his arms now took his hand. Patting the back of that hand, Kim Si-baek stroked Cloud’s face.
“The scar here on your forehead is still there… do you remember how you got hurt?”
“No.”
To Cloud, who only vaguely remembered going to the hospital together, Kim Si-baek unraveled the thread of old memories. After finding out that their mother had run away, their father went into a frenzy and raged even more, and the ashtray he threw happened to hit his brother. If Kim Si-baek hadn’t hurriedly pulled him into an embrace, he would have been hit directly by the ashtray and been more seriously injured.
Perhaps it was a stroke of luck. Since there was pocket money their mother had secretly handed them before she disappeared, he was able to take his brother’s health insurance card and rush to a local clinic.
“Ah, right. Mother and Father are…”
“I heard. That Mother died.”
Kim Si-baek smiled bitterly at his brother’s cold choice of words.
“Father passed away—well, died—not long after. But who did you hear the news about Mother from? And how did you know I was here?”
He wondered if it was through the route of being widely known abroad due to the rarity of being the only healer, but Cloud’s answer was different.
“…I had a strange experience.”
“What kind of experience?”
Cloud silently showed him an email on his phone. A single anonymous email that abruptly informed him of the whereabouts of his half-brothers. And an explanation that because of this, it had reached Sister Hyo-ju Agnes.
A strange experience—Kim Si-baek had also experienced such a thing.
Listening silently to the explanation, Kim Si-baek asked back slowly so as not to seem strange.
“Si-woon, how did you come to meet your current adoptive parents?”
The past of his brother, unfolded in that characteristic slow tone, was identical to the past of the brother Kim Si-baek ‘knew’ in his dreams. The only difference was that the brother in the dream had majored in biology, while in reality, he majored in magical beast studies.
It was natural.
In the dream, far from the Great Cataclysm occurring, things like magical beasts were monsters only seen in fantasy novels.
He had been so immersed in their conversation that he hadn’t realized it was already dinner time. If Gwak Yun-sang hadn’t been quick-witted enough to have dinner delivered to the room, he would have forgotten to eat entirely.
Finding out that his brother still liked pork cutlets was a new joy. The fact that he had grown up receiving plenty of love under wonderful adoptive parents was an even greater joy.
“My parents will be happy to meet hyung too.”
The adoptive parents of his brother, whom Kim Si-baek had cherished like his own parents in the dream, seemed to be the same in reality. Kim Si-baek was not surprised by the fact that the family photo his brother showed him featured the same faces as in the dream.
He felt regret that time was flowing as quickly as the long years they had spent unable to meet. In his heart, he wanted to sit knee-to-knee all night, but there were practical problems.
Cloud analyzed himself accurately, saying that he had forgotten he was tired because of the excitement of meeting his brother. Once the adrenaline from the excitement subsided to some extent, he became very tired, having barely slept for the past few days.
Only after staying by his side until Cloud fell into a deep sleep did Kim Si-baek quietly leave the room. It was already well past midnight.
It had originally been a room he shared with Tae-un, but before he knew it, the room’s owner had been pushed aside. He checked the divine utterance of Biyendwe, whom Tae-un had reportedly taken to Pi Min-hyeong. Kim Si-baek walked down the hallway of the lodging, which was silent as everyone slept.
He stood before the room number he had heard from Gwak Yun-sang. He was about to knock, but when he gently pulled, the door, which wasn’t fully closed, opened smoothly. As if it had been waiting for him to visit.
Walking inside without a sound, he saw Tae-un lying with his back turned.