By Zephyria 
“I’m sorry, everyone. But, I, I don’t want to anymore… I can’t, I can’t take it anymore… I’m going back. I’m going to start over from the beginning. I can’t lose Nicole, I can’t… I can’t bear it.”
A fragile voice piercing through the black air. Noah, laughing as if crying. The blue blade he brought to himself. It was a terrible déjà vu. Stunned, I didn’t even think to move the vocal cords of the human body I was wearing and blurted out immediately.
No, Noah. That’s enough.
There was no room to adjust my presence, considering the other humans. Everyone except Noah knelt and gasped at my mere appearance. I immediately scanned the memories of the humans around me. Not as a figurative expression, but truly, I learned all the circumstances in the blink of an eye. And so, in this terrible scene that made my heart clench just by looking at it, I knew why Noah was trying to choose death once again… I knew it better than anyone else in this place.
You know, don’t you? That even if you die, you can’t go back anymore. That if you die, it’s really… ‘the end.’
If there were any repetitions left, I wouldn’t have come this far either. How am I facing him now, with what expression? I wanted the me reflected in Noah’s eyes to look as relaxed as possible. Without betraying any hint of the startled, lost composure inside, like a relaxed absolute being who always held Noah in his palm and played with him as usual.
Then Noah wouldn’t act as if everything was over like this.
Facing Noah across a gambling table was very familiar to me.
Come here, be a good boy?
The voice feigning composure was detestable.
“…Yes, you’re right. You said this is the last chance.”
Hngh, hngh… Noah laughed hollowly, making a deflating sound.
“Then I really can’t get Nicole back anymore, huh, is that right.”
I wanted to grab his fragile shoulders and shake them. I wanted to scream at his pale face. What on earth are you thinking, are you trying to leave my side again, I wanted to corner him. The Sacred bet, long forgotten, was a loophole I could use because I was a God, and even that couldn’t be used when there was already a bet in progress. The repetitions were long exhausted. If I lost Noah again like then… there would be no way to get him back anymore.
Damn Ancient God. If it weren’t for the Ancient God’s Relic that Noah possessed. I would have taken control of his mind long ago and erased the thought of wanting to die without a trace.
Should I forcibly intervene even now? The strain I would have to endure was beyond the scope of calculation. What I was truly worried about was Noah’s soul, which would not withstand the pressure and would tear apart and scatter if I forcibly intervened. If trying to save Noah led to the death of his soul, there was no need to commit it.
“Okay, I’ll end it like this. What’s the point of stubbornly staying alive? Even if I escape from your hands, even if I win the bet, Nicole isn’t there. She’s not… by my side anymore…”
Noah mumbled terrible words, unaware of my burning insides.
Dying is your freedom. But, what about after you die? Your soul will shatter and vanish. Even so, this world remains. Do you think I, Noah Hamilton, will just stand by and watch this place after you die? Your precious fiancé, the Little Count, even Graham’s bastard… I won’t leave any of them alone.
The terrified mind skillfully presented a familiar threat. It didn’t even hesitate, perhaps because it had done it once before. Why wouldn’t I know it was a vile act? But the love of God was always vile. It was always like that to hold onto Noah and wield him as I wanted.
Noah burst into laughter. Declaring that such threats would no longer work.
“Do whatever you want with this world, whether you erase it or not. I’ll be content if I can rest.”
His pale face, with tears dried up, shone white in the dim moonlight.
What do you want? What can I do for you. Just tell me. I can do anything you want. Except for telling me to give you up, really, anything. So don’t end it like this. I, I can’t end it yet…
What name should I give to this desperation? I’d rather, I’d rather lose. Noah’s death in the first life was infuriating and enraged, but it didn’t wear me down like this. Because I knew that as long as I held onto the soul, I could chase after him no matter what universe he was born into, under what name.
But now it’s truly the end. If I let go here, this pitiful and lovely soul will be nowhere in the vast universe.
I never thought I’d think this way, but I really would rather lose. Even if he slipped through my fingers, I would be incomparably happier to see Noah alive and breathing for a while longer, even if it was only for a few decades.
“Then will you save Nicole?”
Noah asked clearly. In a voice that seemed to have no great expectations from the start.
“See? You told me to say anything, but you can’t grant what I really want. You’ve always been like that. Yeah, always.”
Should I have hugged him when he lovingly clung to me, asking to be held? When he begged me not to send him to someone else, if I had happily accepted, wouldn’t we have already reached a happy eternity by now?
God looked back on his past, which had been thoroughly arrogant because he was too high up, and thought in dismay.
“Goodbye, Allen.”
In the last moment. Noah Hamilton smiled dazzlingly.
System forcibly activates ‘Save-Load One-Time Ticket’.
……There was no more room for hesitation. He summoned the power of his true self, which he had struggled to suppress. It was too easy. It was so easy that he gritted his teeth and endured it. It was only to be killed by Noah Hamilton while maintaining his qualifications as a human.
Noah wouldn’t know. At this moment. The very moment he decided to return to God to save Noah. The outcome of the bet was as good as decided.
The Save-Load One-Time Ticket, which had been prepared as a possible insurance, could only turn back time by a few hours, but it was enough to protect the world and Noah’s soul.
No save point exists. System arbitrarily creates a save point.
Save point found. Would you like to load?
▶ Yes
▶ No
Currently ‘Save-Load One-Time Ticket’
is being forcibly activated.
Automatically assumes the first option is selected and proceeds.
His eyes, which had widened in surprise, soon understood the flowing situation and began to sparkle with hope.
Like when we first met in front of that fountain, which shattered more dazzlingly than the sunlight, it was still a beautiful light.
In the world that had been turned back once again, Noah was still crying.
“D…, Master…?”
“Are you really an idiot? You should take care of your body first! Why, why me first, sob, what am I…, why did you because of me…”
“If you cry too much, you’ll get a headache, don’t cry, okay? Look, I’m fine.”
“Nicole…”
But this time, the name of the tears that soaked his face was joy and happiness. Because he used excessive power with a human body, he couldn’t use his Avatar for the time being. God, looking down at Noah from above after a long time, was also satisfied.
Now, Noah wouldn’t suddenly kill another human or summon a demon. So the defeat was confirmed and the plan that had taken so long was ruined… But the feeling wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Seeing Noah collapse so much over just one servant boy, I realized quite a few things. In the first place, if I wanted to die at Noah’s hands or truly earn his hatred, it would have been a much faster and more certain path to kill and torment those who cherished and cared for Noah instead of tormenting Noah.
But he did nothing but spew harsh words in front of Noah with petty threats… He didn’t lay a hand on the safety of those Noah valued. Or rather, couldn’t he?
He didn’t realize it, but he knew it implicitly. That if that happened, Noah would really collapse without any chance of recovery. That Noah would hate him.
Noah Hamilton could ruin him, but he couldn’t completely break Noah Hamilton. So he might have struggled to make even more flaws in any way he could.
Because he didn’t want to admit the mistake he had already ruined with his own hands. Because he didn’t want to accept the reality that he really couldn’t have Noah.
“…Sweet dreams, Noah.”
It was when he smiled as he looked down at Noah, who had returned to the mansion and fallen asleep listlessly. The sound of the world’s walls collapsing, crackling, rang out.
“Ah, damn it… Was even this much too much?”
While forcibly activating the Save-Load Ticket, he focused more on protecting Noah’s soul than the boundaries of the world. He had turned back time less than a day, so he thought he would somehow endure it, but it seemed to be too much.
But it was okay.
I can’t let the world you belong to and love head towards destruction.
God whispered only in his heart and began to pour out his remaining power. No matter what anyone said, it was, after all, love.