By Zephyria 
Of course, I thought he would say he hated it, but Aska stared at me blankly before burying his face in my neck. He must have known something was wrong, but he didn’t ask why and just did as he was told, which somehow eased my mind a little.
As I stroked his soft hair at the back of his head, I soon felt a sharp pain that seemed to tear at my skin. It wasn’t as painful as I had expected, but it was enough to bring me back to my senses.
The blood and stray thoughts inside me were being sucked out at the same time. My dizzy head cleared, and the stuffy feeling in my ears, as if they were stuffed with wads of cotton, disappeared.
That didn’t mean my bad mood improved, but I was satisfied with this much. I relaxed my tense body and closed my eyes.
“……”
The pain that had been so vivid was gone as if it had been a lie, and my vision blurred again. It felt like floating on the water’s surface. It was similar to being drunk or not fully awake.
What was that clarity from earlier? Maybe it was a false dawn.
I became so dizzy and nauseous that I couldn’t even continue thinking. My legs gave way, and I collapsed, unable to even call out to Aska or exhale.
¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸
Those who have nothing and have never received anything treasure even the smallest thing they own for the rest of their lives.
A mere leftover piece of bread, a doll thrown away out of boredom, a wooden practice sword, a sip of warm tea, clothes that no longer fit, medicine they didn’t even know they had, a few coins they never used, a few words they don’t even remember…
“Please, Your Majesty, save him. His Highness is still too young…”
What on earth is the reason?
“At this rate, his body won’t be able to withstand it!”
Why can such insignificant and trivial things become treasures?
“Please, just think about it one more time! Please, please, Your Majesty!”
“These people are out of their minds. Stop pestering me and get up.”
This is because they are all worthless to life.
In the Imperial Castle, humans die as easily as bugs under a light, so everyone who sets foot here as a human is mistaken.
That’s why they risk their lives so easily.
“Feel for yourselves why this is necessary.”
Without realizing what is truly precious and worth cherishing in the world.
Dying without knowing what it is.
Continuing to worry and pity only useless things.
And so, they meet a death that no one will remember.
It was a dog’s death, worthless and useless.
“Kyle, drink.”
The reason why human life has become so insignificant is because God exists here.
Because he exists alone in a world where humans live, not as a human.
Because he lives and breathes like a human, with fragile skin and red blood.
Because there is a God.
¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸
I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or imagining while awake.
An unknown, fierce, and noisy sound disturbed my ears. It sounded like the flapping of thousands of small flying insects, or like someone’s voice constantly whispering in my ear.
As my body shook violently from side to side and up and down, and as my body grew colder and colder, my senses gradually disappeared. Then, an unfamiliar sound reached my ears.
“Beep.”
“Be quiet.”
“Beeep…”
“Why do you keep crying here when you’re old enough to sleep? If you can’t stay still, get out. You’re being noisy.”
My eyes, which were too heavy to even think about opening, slowly opened. But even when I opened my eyes, I couldn’t see anything. My eyes were covered.
Every time I slowly closed and opened my eyes, something caught on my eyelashes. It was strangely addictive, so I kept blinking, and then the thing covering my eyes was removed.
“What are you doing? It tickles.”
Aska frowned and looked at me. It seemed that what had been touching my eyelashes was Aska’s palm. I didn’t have the energy to say anything, so I just blinked.
“The sun hasn’t even risen yet. Sleep more.”
As soon as I heard those words, I was wide awake. I moved my head to look around and realized that this was the Greenhouse. I could easily tell because it was decorated with pretty and useful, or useless, trinkets that he had picked up, like a bird building a nest.
I seemed to have fainted from having my blood sucked, but why did he bother bringing me here? I wondered for a moment, but I didn’t think it was important, so I dismissed it.
“Does your neck hurt?”
Aska asked, changing his position as if he knew I wasn’t going to sleep. He was lying on his side, looking at me, with his head propped up on one hand. The distance was so close that I could hear his breathing.
As soon as his warm hand touched my neck, the pain that I hadn’t been aware of spread throughout my body. It wasn’t just my neck that hurt, but my whole body. I frowned, looking at Aska with suspicious eyes.
“Did you hit me while I was sleeping?”
“What are you talking about?”
It felt like I had been beaten all over my body for a long time. Every joint and every inch of my skin hurt, so when I tossed and turned, a groan escaped my lips.
“Does it hurt?”
“Why is my body so heavy?”
“You had a bit of a fever earlier. And you were talking nonsense.”
“Nonsense?”
Come to think of it, I think I had some kind of dream. It didn’t feel good, so it must have been a nightmare, but I couldn’t remember it.
I didn’t want to hear what kind of nonsense I had been talking, so I changed the subject.
“I think I’m going to get married again soon. I’m sure you’ve heard.”
I spoke slowly, groaning from the muscle pain.
But why do I suddenly feel so self-conscious? I felt like I had done something wrong, so I couldn’t help but move my eyes around.
“Hmm.”
“……”
I thought he might get angry, but fortunately, there was no sign of that. He looked away for a moment and made a soft sound like an exclamation, but I couldn’t tell what it meant.
It wasn’t exactly a positive reaction, but it wasn’t exactly negative either… Or maybe that’s exactly what Aska’s heart is like? Not liking it, but not liking it either, an ambiguous state.
“So, are we going to live together here?”
“In Talim? Yes.”
“Who is it? Another child?”
“I don’t know.”
It could be a child or an old man. Or maybe it’s a girl my age. Khalifa thinks Aska is a woman, so maybe this time it will be a man. He must think that the heir can be obtained from Aska.
But does Khalifa still have that kind of judgment?
While I was thinking about that, I suddenly felt a gaze. Aska was staring at me blankly.
“If it’s a child, let’s raise them properly and send them out.”
He said as soon as our eyes met, as if he had been waiting for it.
“If they’re an adult, kill them and send them out, like you did when you smuggled people out of the Harem.”
That’s impossible with the Royal Consort… But there’s no way Aska doesn’t know this. When he was young, maybe, but now Aska has acquired most of the knowledge related to the Imperial family.
Or is he saying that knowing that? I thought about it for a moment and said.
“Then they’ll try to fill the vacant position again.”
“Then we can just keep them for a while and send them out again.”
“…Kill them?”
“Pretend they died. Not really kill them. You know, what you always did.”
Aska deliberately brought up a story he knew, as if he sensed that my expression was strange. I cleared my throat and continued.
“Even if we do that several times, the result will be the same anyway.”
“When Mahir becomes Emperor, this will all be over.”
It sounded plausible at first glance, but it was impossible to do such a thing.
Once the women of the Harem are affiliated with it, their status from before disappears and they become solely my property, so no one can interfere whether they burn to death or starve to death.
Even if they get married and become the Royal Consort, they still become my property, but their status does not disappear. If I kill them indiscriminately like that, there will definitely be talk.
If they’re coming as the Imperial Princess Consort, they’re usually of high status, and there’s no way they’d abandon everything and go abroad…
“What if they say they don’t want to?”
“What?”
“I don’t force people who don’t want to leave the Harem. They might like it here.”
Forcing people who don’t want to leave is only dangerous. Even if I order them to be silenced, people’s hearts are so fickle that secrets can’t be kept.
“Maybe this method is…”
Just as I was about to say that it didn’t seem good, Aska suddenly asked in a lower voice than usual.
“Then what are you going to do?”
“……”
“You must have had something in mind when you said you understood there, right? What are you going to do?”
“……”
I didn’t really have anything in mind… But the red eyes, faintly glowing in the darkness, were too fierce, so I didn’t say it as it was.
“Don’t tell me you answered without thinking?”
At his incredulous voice, I stared at Aska silently. The distance was so close that I could see his pure white eyelashes fluttering. That meant that if Aska hit me, I wouldn’t even have time to dodge.
I pretended to think for a moment before opening my mouth.
“That’s not true. I have a couple of ideas.”
“……”
I’ll have to start thinking about what they are now, though.