By Zephyria 
During the break, the other students glanced at Seung-pyo, who remained in his seat solving problems in a workbook.
Focused on the problems, Seung-pyo didn’t notice the stares for a long time, only sensing the surrounding interest when he checked his answers and stretched. He frowned slightly and looked around.
“What?”
A student sitting in front of him, playing a mobile game, answered.
“Nothing, just thought you were preparing for finals early this time.”
“There’s less than a month left. I started even earlier for the midterms.”
“True. If it weren’t for English, you could’ve taken first place in the whole school last time.”
Compared to the midterms, where he had burned with passion before the spring flowers even bloomed, his preparation for the finals was delayed as much as the bet had been, meaning his competitive streak had kicked in late. The desire to crush Ryu Jae-min and take first place had always been there, but it seemed whether a carrot was dangling right in front of him made a huge difference in motivation.
It had been about ten days since he started the bet over the exam rankings with Ryu Jae-min again. There were also about ten days left until the final exam date, which had been set slightly earlier than expected. Unable to even kiss, with his daily outlet blocked, Seung-pyo had become more serious than ever.
“Also, you’ve been staying in the classroom even during breaks lately.”
“When was I ever not in the classroom?”
“You’ve been disappearing every break recently.”
It wasn’t an empty observation. These were kids who loved to gather around Oh Seung-pyo’s seat and chat. Since around the day of the field trip, it had been hard not to notice that Seung-pyo was leaving his seat unusually often.
He wasn’t exactly a quiet type, nor the kind to stay glued to his desk, but for the past month, the frequency had been noticeably high. It wasn’t as if he was frequently seen on the sports field, either.
Another student dragged a chair over with a clatter and sat next to Seung-pyo.
“We thought you got a girlfriend. Like you were hiding somewhere to make phone calls every break.”
“You guys came up with all that without even asking me?”
It was a wrong guess, but not entirely incorrect. Hiding the prickle of guilt in his chest, Seung-pyo changed the subject with a composed expression.
“Is it fun? What game are you playing?”
He spoke to the guy who was busy tapping the phone screen even while they talked. However, the kids didn’t seem inclined to let it go easily today.
“You don’t even play mobile games. It’s more suspicious that you’re suddenly pretending to be interested. Tell us the truth. You got a girlfriend and then broke up, right? That’s why you disappeared every break and now suddenly just study all the time.”
“I told you I never had one, so what’s there to break up? Do you think my life is that easy? I’m not getting a girlfriend until my college is decided.”
“Then what were you doing going out every break lately?”
Without realizing it, Seung-pyo cast a brief, glancing look toward Ryu Jae-min’s seat before quickly returning his eyes to their original position.
“The classroom was suffocating, so I went out for some fresh air. It’s been hot lately.”
“Still, isn’t the classroom the coolest place?”
“Because they turn the AC on and off whenever they feel like it.”
If he had just gone out to kiss as usual, he might have been misunderstood as having a girlfriend, but he wouldn’t be suffering through this interrogation. Because Ryu Jae-min had banned kissing until the final exams, he ended up hearing useless nonsense. It was all Ryu Jae-min’s fault.
The voices of the carelessly chatting students were noisy. Everything they were saying would be audible to Ryu Jae-min. He wondered if Jae-min’s heart was pounding as much as his own. Just as he thought he couldn’t tell from the back of the head that wasn’t even turning this way…
Ryu Jae-min quietly pushed his chair back, stood up, and walked away with an expressionless face, disappearing through the back door.
It seemed he found it uncomfortable to listen to the chatter between Oh Seung-pyo and the other kids. As Jae-min vanished from the classroom, a sense of relief washed over Seung-pyo, and he let out a short sigh. The kids, having finally caught a lead, continued the story about the non-existent girlfriend before turning their arrows back to Seung-pyo.
“I get it. If you were dumped and it ended, you wouldn’t want to talk about it.”
“I wasn’t dumped.”
“Then did you dump her?”
“Are you interrogating me now?”
“What if you keep pushing girls away because you’re popular, and then later you can’t date anyone even if you want to?”
“Don’t you know I can get one in an instant if I put my mind to it?”
At Oh Seung-pyo’s suddenly arrogant words, the teasing student could no longer refute. As the interrogation about the secret relationship died down, another one asked.
“Oh, right. Did you fight with Ryu Jae-min?”
This time, he was truly startled.
At the question that suddenly cut in while talking about girlfriends, his heart began to thumping wildly. Carefully calming his trembling chest internally, Seung-pyo intentionally frowned deeper.
“Why bring up Ryu Jae-min all of a sudden?”
“I thought you and Ryu Jae-min had become close, but lately it seems like you guys aren’t even talking.”
“We were never close.”
“But when you went to neverland, you two were stuck together the whole time. You even sat together on the bus.”
“Don’t you remember? Ryu Jae-min and I didn’t want to ride the water splash and the extrain, but you guys said you wanted to, so we split up. If I hadn’t gone with Ryu Jae-min, would you guys have skipped the extrain to go see the pandas with me?”
Well, that was true. You couldn’t go all the way there and not ride those two. The student who asked about Jae-min didn’t seem to have a great interest in their relationship, so he just nodded.
In the classroom, the two of them deliberately avoided unnecessary conversation. They didn’t want to attract unwanted attention or misunderstandings.
Even when they had to pair up for art or PE class, Seung-pyo always looked for other friends first. Ryu Jae-min also had kids he hung out with frequently, so likewise, they spent their school lives only with other people.
He had smoothly lied to Ryu Jae-min’s mother, saying they were working on a performance assessment together, that they were friends, and that they were very close, but in reality, the two had never once been in the same group for a performance assessment.
They hadn’t created any openings that would make them look particularly friendly to others, but it seemed that hanging out briefly at the amusement park a month ago made Oh Seung-pyo and Ryu Jae-min look close. This was why he had to be careful. After all, both he and Ryu Jae-min were relatively famous within the school, so even a few conversations in close proximity left a strong impression on those watching.
“We only hung out briefly then. Since coming back to school, we’ve hardly spoken.”
“I thought there was something that connected the 1st and 2nd rankers of the school. Then again, Ryu Jae-min is such a model student that he probably wouldn’t fit well with you.”
“That’s what I’m saying. Our personalities are different, so how could we connect?”
As he grumbled in a lowered voice, the cold words from Ryu Jae-min that had been troubling him for a while suddenly flashed through his mind. Seung-pyo’s expression became blunt.
“He’s not even a friend.”
After blurting it out, he realized he had said something cringeworthy, and his face grew hot for no reason.
The other kids, who had been questioning whether they were close or not, blinked blankly. One student rebuked Seung-pyo.
“Why go that far?”
“I’m just answering because you asked. We’re not close.”
“You could’ve just said you’re not close, but you’re still in the same class. Oh Seung-pyo has become heartless this year. He keeps dodging games, and he’s fucking cold to us because he’s studying.”
“At this point, isn’t it true that you fought?”
He was speechless at the children’s complaints and suspicions. To escape the situation, Seung-pyo stood up, pretending to be tired.
“It slipped out. Maybe it’s because of the heat. I’m going out for a bit.”
He stood up resolutely as if to leave the classroom immediately, but he froze in his tracks without taking a single step.
Ryu Jae-min, who had returned to the classroom unnoticed, was staring blankly at Oh Seung-pyo near the back door, with a straw from a chocolate milk carton in his mouth.
Fuck. Seung-pyo’s expression froze in momentary panic. Did he hear? Since he had lowered his voice while talking about Ryu Jae-min, there was a possibility he hadn’t heard. Oh Seung-pyo’s seat wasn’t that far from the back door, but…
Jae-min took a sip of the straw, then silently walked back to his seat, just as he had left the classroom. Seung-pyo also left the classroom through the door Jae-min had entered, as if nothing had happened, and chewed his lip.
It had already been over a month since he had imagined where and what he would do with Ryu Jae-min at the amusement park, and how happy and joyful it would be.
‘We aren’t friends, though.’
The person who first drew the line, saying that he and Seung-pyo weren’t friends, was Ryu Jae-min. That they were just preparing for college entrance exams together and were nothing more than that. Even if he had simply agreed with what Jae-min said first, he didn’t know if it was necessary to be this restless, feeling as if he had made a slip of the tongue.
Saying such a thing to other kids instead of to Ryu Jae-min himself was a bit excessive, but didn’t he have a valid reason? He had tried to strongly deny it so the kids wouldn’t misunderstand him and Ryu Jae-min as being closer than usual, and the words had just come out wrong.
…No. Even so, saying that kind of thing in front of other kids was embarrassing. He wasn’t a child complaining through backbiting.
Failing to self-rationalize, Seung-pyo paced the hallway and eventually began making excuses via a social media messenger.
Hey
Earlier, the kids said we seemed to have become close, so I said that
I thought it would be better not to give them any hope
He didn’t add an apology. If Jae-min hadn’t heard, it might have just stirred up trouble.
But he had a feeling. Ryu Jae-min had definitely heard him. Otherwise, there would be no reason for him to stand there blankly and stare at him.
The answer didn’t come immediately. Jae-min was the type to sometimes reply the next day, saying his parents were strict at home and it was hard to check his phone, but it was different at school. Now that he understood Jae-min’s personality to some extent, Seung-pyo could feel that he was hesitating on how to respond. It meant he had heard him, after all.
After a few minutes, the other person’s messages appeared on the screen one by one.
Don’t worry about it
I was just a bit flustered because you were talking about me with the other kids
You’re right
You did well
If we looked that conspicuous to the kids, we should be more careful from now on
Since we won’t be in the spotlight for a while anyway, it’s actually for the best
It was a clean conclusion. He was even praised for doing well.
Seung-pyo stared blankly at the screen where the messages had streamed in, then ended the conversation by leaving a single ‘K’.
* * *
As the season changed, rain showers became frequent. Rain began to fall about 20 minutes before the last period ended, and by the time school let out, the raindrops had become quite thick. Students, who had been waiting hoping it would stop, began to grumble.
“If it was going to rain, it should’ve come sooner. Why does it start raining just when it’s time to go after being humid all day?”
“Do you have an umbrella?”
“Yeah, Mom. She’s coming to pick me up?”
The classroom, with students noisily pouring out their thoughts, was like a marketplace.
He wondered if there was even one person in here who carried an umbrella in preparation for rain that might come at any time. Seung-pyo was the same, so he just looked out the window blankly. Maybe if it were near the neighborhood, but the probability of his brother, who was too busy playing, bringing an umbrella to school for his younger sibling was zero.
It seemed his only option was to somehow run to the convenience store and buy an umbrella. He would get a bit wet, but since the AC is usually blasted when it gets humid, his clothes would dry quickly as long as he got under a roof.
“Ryu Jae-min, do you have an umbrella?”
“No, you?”
“I obviously… don’t.”
The conversation Jae-min was having with his friends reached Seung-pyo. It seemed that among the guys hanging out with Jae-min, no one had an umbrella either. Anyway, Ryu Jae-min had a driver who picked him up in a Benz every day, so the rain wouldn’t matter.
The guy talking to Jae-min seemed to remember the pickup vehicle and added,
“What now? Even if you take the car, you have to use an umbrella to get to the school gate.”
“That’s not the problem; something happened with the pickup Hyung, so I’m taking the bus just for today.”
Jae-min also grumbled dissatisfiedly. At those words, Seung-pyo’s shoulders reflexively flinched.
“Let’s just wait a bit more. I still have time before academy. It might stop.”
As soon as Jae-min finished speaking, the homeroom teacher entered the classroom for the closing announcements. The noisy students scrambled back to their seats.
He also looked out the window, appearing troubled by the sudden rain, before making an announcement.
“It’s suddenly raining hard. It looks like the convenience store in front of the school is already sold out of umbrellas. So don’t go rushing over there and hurt yourself for nothing.”
“Oh, really?”
A wave of disappointed sighs swept through the classroom from the many students who had planned to buy a convenience store umbrella. The teacher nodded.
“The office checked with the store. It might just be a shower, so let’s wait it out and everyone be careful on your way home. That’s all for today.”
“Thank you.”
With soulless expressions of gratitude, the students rose in a swarm. Seung-pyo also stood up quickly and headed for the door. The first person he caught was his homeroom teacher, who had just finished the closing announcements.
“Teacher.”
“Yes?”
“Do you happen to have a spare umbrella?”
“Ah, I’d lend you one if I had one, but I don’t.”
From experience, Seung-pyo knew many teachers kept umbrellas in their car trunks or had spares ready in the faculty office. He gave a quick bow and ran toward the office this time.
“Teacher, do you have a spare umbrella?”
“Too late. The Korean teacher said they didn’t have one either, so I decided to lend them mine.”
“Thank you.”
As the second-ranked student in the entire school—excelling in academics, sports, and possessing a sociable personality—Oh Seung-pyo always got along effortlessly with the teachers. While most students avoided the faculty office if possible, he drifted in and out without a second thought whenever he had business there.
“Oh Seung-pyo, looking for an umbrella? I have one, I’ll lend it to you.”
His efforts of begging for an umbrella from desk to desk had paid off. A teacher sitting on the far side held up a small folding umbrella. Beaming, Seung-pyo ran toward them. The teacher started with a light scolding.
“Since when do we run in the faculty office?”
“Teach, seriously, thanks. I’ll buy you coffee later.”
“Do I look like someone who needs a coffee from you? Just use it and make sure to return it tomorrow. Though, I wonder if this isn’t too small for you.”
“It’s plenty. Thank you!”
Despite the warning not to run, Seung-pyo practically sprinted out of the office. He dashed down the hallway and up the stairs, returning in an instant. Instead of entering the classroom immediately, he peered inside through the window facing the corridor.
Because he had secured an umbrella faster than expected, the classroom was still crowded. Students who had accepted that there was no way to avoid the rain were leaving one by one.
Jae-min also seemed to have given up on waiting for the rain clouds to pass; he was putting on his bag and preparing to go home. Seung-pyo hurriedly typed a message on his phone. If he handed over the umbrella inside the classroom, it would draw unnecessary attention, so he was about to send a note telling him to pick it up by the resource room when he heard Jae-min’s voice right next to him.
“I’m glad you at least have an umbrella.”
“I don’t even know when I put it in my locker. This is why people need to live forgetting things once in a while.”
“Since you let me share your umbrella, I’ll buy you something delicious later.”
Jae-min, bag on his shoulder, was leaving the classroom. He was with a student who had just been talking about not having an umbrella. In that student’s hand was a slightly dusty black umbrella.
Seung-pyo, standing outside the classroom, and Jae-min, who had just stepped out, locked eyes for a moment. That was all. As always in front of others, the two didn’t exchange a single word of farewell, only a brief gaze. Jae-min pretended not to see Seung-pyo and turned away, shoulder to shoulder with the friend leaving the room.
“Oh Seung, you got an umbrella?”
“Wow, as expected. Where’d you get it?”
The hallway was more chaotic than usual because of the rain. Standing still and frozen in the middle of it, Seung-pyo was quickly caught by the students’ radar. His friends greeted his umbrella with enthusiasm.
“Can we use this too? Let’s at least cover our heads.”
Seung-pyo reached out and handed it over without hesitation.
“You two use it. I’m fine.”
“Why? If we huddle together, three of us could fit.”
The students asked back in confusion even as they took the umbrella. Seung-pyo shook his head.
“It’s just rainwater. I can just wash later.”
“Oh Seung… then did you bring this just to give it to us?”
“Hey, I take back what I said about you becoming cold-hearted. There really is no one like you.”
The students looked up at Seung-pyo with touched eyes. It wasn’t exactly an umbrella he had rushed to get for his friends, but since that was the result, Seung-pyo simply accepted the favorable looks without further explanation.
They left the school gates together. The rain showed no sign of stopping. The small folding umbrella was too cramped to cover the bodies of two growing teenage boys, but far from complaining, the boys walked across the playground with their heads tucked in, as if it were a game. Regardless of the rain, Seung-pyo followed them leisurely, his expression now indifferent as his body grew soaked.
As they walked, he spotted Jae-min and his friend, who had left the classroom earlier. Sharing a small umbrella not much different from the one Seung-pyo had borrowed, one of Jae-min’s shoulders was inevitably becoming drenched. Seung-pyo walked while staring blankly at that shoulder.
Swoosh. The sound of the rain that made his mind go blank, the puddles with circular ripples that stole his soul if he watched them. Seung-pyo’s thoughts were flowing without obstruction, like a leaf drifting on rainwater.
I was going to give the borrowed umbrella to you. Because it was too small for two people to share.
I don’t mind since I just live however, but you wear those nice-smelling shirts that your aunt irons smoothly every day, and I didn’t think you should let clothes like that get hit by the rain.
Oh Seung-pyo looked back at what he had done, driven by his own excitement just moments ago. It wasn’t about trying to kiss him or touch his body. It was simply that, upon hearing Ryu Jae-min was likely to get rained on, he had reacted like Pavlov’s dog—going to the faculty office and bowing to teachers to borrow an umbrella without anyone asking or telling him to.
It wasn’t that he didn’t have an ulterior motive. The things he had said during the day were weighing on his mind, so he wanted to talk to him one more time while lending him the umbrella. Talking face-to-face is different from talking via messages.
He had planned to completely erase any lingering resentment and call him over to the resource room, and since they were preparing for finals, suggest they kiss just once before heading to the academy. Since he had personally borrowed an umbrella for Ryu Jae-min, he thought Jae-min might agree just this once.
“Oh.”
The guy walking beside Jae-min let out a surprised sound. While rummaging through his bag under the umbrella, he had dropped something. A coin that fell from a poorly closed front pocket rolled along before landing on the wet ground.
“Ryu Jae-min, hold on.”
Flustered, the boy tried to hand the umbrella to Jae-min to pick up the coin. However, Seung-pyo, walking behind them, moved faster. He bent his large frame, picked up the coin, and held out his hand.
“Here.”
“Oh, Oh Seung-pyo. Thanks.”
While the boy who dropped the coin hurried over to take it from Seung-pyo, Jae-min also turned around and watched the two. Their eyes met again.
Surrounded by the pouring rain, other students, and the setting of the school, no words were exchanged this time either, but Jae-min’s eyes seemed to ask a reprimanding question: Why are you just standing there getting completely soaked?
“Bye.”
The boy who received the coin said goodbye and returned to Ryu Jae-min’s side. Seung-pyo followed behind the two as they started walking again. After all, both Seung-pyo and Jae-min were heading to the same academy.
Because of the rain, a large crowd of students flocked to take the bus, and Seung-pyo lost sight of Jae-min’s back near the stop. Since buses heading to the same destination arrived in succession, Jae-min had likely headed to the academy a step ahead of him.
As he got off the bus with a water-logged body, a phone message arrived. It was through an SNS messenger used exclusively for one person.
[When you get to the academy, don’t go inside right away. Come to the 5th floor emergency exit.]
It was a sudden summons from Ryu Jae-min.
What is it? Seung-pyo tilted his head. At the academy, the two of them acted even more like strangers than they did at school. The academy building didn’t have many places to hide, so the number of times they had even spoken closely, let alone kissed, could be counted on one hand.
However, today’s Seung-pyo was already exhausted for several reasons, making it difficult to think deeply about anything. Without answering yes or no, he took the elevator straight to the 5th floor. The 5th floor wasn’t part of the academy but was used as offices for another company, so the instructors told the students not to go up there.
As he opened the emergency exit door, a cold, musty dampness hit him. Since the office workers had all gone home, the deserted stairs were dim, lit only by the pale emergency light. Ryu Jae-min was indeed standing there alone, leaning against the stair railing and looking at his phone; he looked up when Seung-pyo arrived.
“Why did you call me?”
Seung-pyo brushed back his wet hair as he approached him. This was the first word he had spoken directly to Ryu Jae-min today.
Instead of answering, Jae-min pulled his bag to the front, rummaged through it, and took something out. Seung-pyo looked down at the object in Jae-min’s hand.
It was a new towel that looked like it had just been bought from somewhere. Jae-min explained nonchalantly.
“I figured you’d just walk into the academy like that, so I called you to dry off. They were selling them at the convenience store nearby. Weren’t the kids I was with your friends? Why didn’t you share an umbrella? Why did you get soaked all by yourself?”
“…The academy has great cooling, so I’ll dry off once I hit the AC.”
“Hey, even if it is summer, you’ll catch a cold doing that.”
Having finished speaking, Jae-min chuckled. Seung-pyo stared silently at that face.
Since the bet, they had been ignoring each other at school, so it had been a long time since he had seen Ryu Jae-min’s smiling face up close and head-on.
“Go ahead and catch a cold before finals. Then you’ll probably tell me a hundred times that you would have won if you hadn’t gotten sick. I can’t stand the thought of that.”
Seung-pyo didn’t take the towel.
Among the guys he saw every day at school, there wasn’t a single one delicate enough to carry an umbrella in preparation for rain. There certainly wouldn’t be anyone who thought to buy a towel to dry off a rain-soaked classmate. He hadn’t even known there was a convenience store that sold towels. He was the same, and so were all the students who had worried about braving the monsoon rain today.
Was this kind of kindness something that could only be given because he had grown up being meticulously cared for by his parents and a helper? He didn’t know. Seung-pyo belatedly took the fluffy new towel and said,
“You dry yourself.”
“I didn’t get rained on.”
“Your shoulder is soaked.”
Jae-min looked back at his left shoulder. The emergency light barely provided enough visibility; unless it was someone like Oh Seung-pyo, who was drenched from head to toe, the wet parts weren’t that noticeable.
Seung-pyo pressed the towel against Jae-min’s damp shoulder and patted it. Jae-min, looking embarrassed at his sleeve which wasn’t even wet compared to Seung-pyo, pushed the hand away from his shoulder.
“This will really dry quickly in the AC. Stop it and use it yourself.”
Then, in a tone similar to when he asked to have sex, Seung-pyo suddenly blurted out,
“Dry me off too.”
“Huh?”
“I’m tired today.”
Jae-min hesitated for a moment, looking bewildered, but he didn’t say no and took the towel from Seung-pyo. The fluffy new towel had become slightly damp from drying Jae-min’s shoulder.
Jae-min’s Adam’s apple bobbed slightly, as if he had swallowed hard. His hesitation lasted only a moment; eventually, Jae-min slowly raised his arm and wrapped the towel around Seung-pyo’s wet head, covering down to his face.
Then, he rubbed his head. He was trying his best, but it was a clumsy gesture that made it obvious he had never dried someone else’s hair in his life.
Seung-pyo had also never dried someone else’s rain-soaked hair. However, he had raised a dog when he was young and had bathed Bbomi, who lived in his grandmother’s yard, many times, so he felt he could do better than this. Wasn’t the knack for drying human hair similar to drying dog fur?
Still, it felt good. If this was what it felt like to be pampered, he felt he could experience it a few more times. Seung-pyo closed his eyes, feeling languid.
Rustle, rustle, rustle. Just as the sound of rain can make one feel distant when listened to quietly, the sound of the towel rustling by his ears now made Seung-pyo drowsy. Having stood there blankly, Seung-pyo felt as if he might fall asleep standing up and suddenly opened his eyes.
Rustle…
The hand that had been diligently shaking off the moisture stopped at the same time.
While absorbed in drying his hair, Jae-min had stepped very close to Seung-pyo. Perhaps flustered by the sudden eye contact at such close range, his expression froze awkwardly.
But perhaps because Seung-pyo’s pupils were fixed as if to taxidermy him, Jae-min did not avoid his gaze, instead meeting the staring eyes as if reflecting them back.
In the brief silence, Seung-pyo reached out and grabbed Jae-min’s waist. Jae-min’s shoulders gave a short flinch, but he didn’t push Seung-pyo away or ask why he was doing this.
With just a slight tilt of the head, their lips easily met. Jae-min’s mouth trembled while remaining closed. Their breaths, which had grown slightly hurried, warmed their cheeks.
The sound of licking lips was thin, barely audible, but Jae-min’s tightly closed lips opened with absurd ease. As Seung-pyo’s tongue slid silently inside, Jae-min’s shoulders—and even his waist—flinched more violently than before.
“Ugh, hng…!”
Jae-min’s voice, which had tried to leak out, was barely swallowed back, only to grow louder again at the sensation of softly scraping the inside of his teeth.
“Hey….”
After stirring the inside of his mouth once, Seung-pyo spoke in a voice laced with heavy breaths.
“You said it was forbidden. Why aren’t you telling me to stop?”
Jae-min also answered with small, panting breaths.
“You didn’t ask.”
As soon as the answer ended, Seung-pyo pressed his lips firmly again. As he pushed his tongue in deeper than the first time, Jae-min shuddered briefly. Mmph, nng. Because his mouth was blocked, a nasal sound burst out quite loudly, as if he could no longer endure it.
Seung-pyo’s hand, which had been holding the waist, had moved up to cup Jae-min’s cheeks. Jae-min’s arms were also wrapped around Seung-pyo’s shoulders.
Was it because it had been so long due to that damn bet? Even though they were just sharing the kisses they used to have every day, Jae-min trembled as if it were the first time he had touched a cock. Feeling the trembling trapped in his arms, Oh Seung-pyo thought he might actually die. Barely suppressing the surging impulse in his body by almost biting his own tongue, he blamed Jae-min.
“You’re this horny… how do you endure not doing it?”
Jae-min’s voice was also thick with labored breath.
“As long as you don’t touch me, I’m… fine.”
“Fuck, you go crazy the moment I touch you, so how the hell do you even attend school and walk around outside?”
It was a good thing Ryu Jae-min was a smart, perceptive guy who lacked for nothing; if he had been just a bit more lax, a bit more dull, a bit lonelier, or a bit kinder… he might have blindly trusted those goddamn perverts who whispered sweet nothings on the internet.
Though there were many times he was annoyed because Ryu Jae-min always beat him to take first place in the school, because he was too clever, arrogant, and had a foul temper, he was glad Ryu Jae-min was that kind of person.
Like an angry man, Seung-pyo stirred deeper into Jae-min’s mouth. He rubbed the hot mucous membrane, sucked the soft tongue, and licked every corner of the teeth as far as he could reach.
“Hng, mmm, mph.”
Jae-min’s body stiffened and relaxed several times, startled by the stimulation. He accepted Seung-pyo’s kisses without turning his face away once, and only after Seung-pyo pulled his lips away did he bow his head and wipe his damp lips with the back of his hand.
The humid and chilly area of the emergency stairs felt as if it had turned completely scorching. Jae-min shook his head as if to shake off the dazed feeling, took a long breath, and looked up.
“I let it slide today because you said you were tired. No more now.”
“Give me a break. You were horny too.”
“Shut up.”
Jae-min cut off Seung-pyo’s words and straightened his clothes. Putting his bag on properly, he scanned Seung-pyo from top to bottom and said,
“I don’t think wiping your clothes will do any good.”
“I have a fresh t-shirt. I brought gym pants too. I’m going to change.”
Since his hair was mostly dry, if he wiped the rest of the moisture from his body and changed clothes, he could attend a few hours of class reasonably comfortably. It wouldn’t compare to a completely dry body, but Seung-pyo wasn’t particularly sensitive to discomfort in the first place.
“Then hurry up and change and come to class. I’m going down first.”
Jae-min’s face had become detached, as if the passionate kiss from a moment ago had been a dream. As he passed Seung-pyo and grabbed the emergency exit door handle, Seung-pyo spoke to his back.
“I have something to tell you.”
Jae-min, who was about to step outside, turned his head and blinked.
“What?”
“I want to think about it a bit more and tell you tomorrow. Come out for a bit if I call you tomorrow.”
“I let it slide today, but I’m telling you, no more. Just hold out until finals.”
Jae-min sneered, his expression suggesting that Seung-pyo was using a predictable trick. But Seung-pyo didn’t laugh.
“I’m serious.”
Half of Jae-min was curious about what he wanted to say, while the other half was distrustful, thinking it was obvious that Seung-pyo was just tricking him into coming out so they could kiss again. With an ambiguous expression mixing these two emotions, Jae-min stared at Seung-pyo for a moment before closing the door and disappearing without further answer.
Seung-pyo trudged into the restroom to change his clothes. Perhaps because the kiss—the first in a long time—had been so thrilling, his lower half was reacting, forcing him to mentally recite the national anthem several times. Dressed in a short-sleeved t-shirt and gym pants, he looked more like a student on a school trip or a retreat than someone at an academy.
With the damp towel still draped over his shoulder, he entered the classroom. Because of the sudden downpour, a few other students in gym clothes were scattered here and there.
Ryu Jae-min was already in his seat, looking through his textbook. Seung-pyo found an empty seat and set his bag down.
* * *
The moment he opened the door upon returning home, the scent of delicious food ambushed his hungry stomach. As Seung-pyo stepped into the living room, his Hyung, who was sitting on the sofa, greeted him without even turning his head.
“You’re back?”
“Did you order pizza?”
“Yeah. Eat some if you want.”
“I’m gonna shower first.”
Seung-pyo went straight to the bathroom and stripped off his clothes. After finally washing and drying his body, which had felt clammy all day from the rain, and transforming back into a refreshed Oh Seung-pyo, he headed straight for the utility room.
He threw all his worn clothes into the washing machine and returned to the sofa, flopping down next to his Hyung. A can of beer he was drinking sat in front of him as he watched TV. Seung-pyo hesitated before asking.
“Can I have a sip?”
“Just one sip.”
“Thank you.”
Taking a bite of pizza, he lifted the beer can and poured a gulp into his mouth. Along with the popping carbonation, a bitter taste—something he couldn’t find in cola or cider—and a scent that wasn’t yet familiar to him spread through his nasal cavity.
A soccer match was in full swing on the TV screen. The passionate voices of the commentators echoed through the living room. Although Seung-pyo preferred basketball over soccer, he usually enjoyed watching matches, but for some reason, he couldn’t concentrate today.
Having polished off three slices of pizza in the blink of an eye, Seung-pyo took another sip of beer without even asking his Hyung and then asked:
“Hyung, you still don’t have a girlfriend?”
“I had one, but we broke up.”
“Really? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What’s the point of telling a high schooler that kind of thing?”
“Ah, what the… You could’ve at least told me.”
When he suddenly grumbled, his Hyung finally turned his gaze toward his only younger brother.
“Why are you suddenly asking that? Are you planning on getting a girlfriend?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Since when were you interested in your Hyung’s well-being… You must be asking because something happened.”
“Ah, why are you framing me? It’s been a long time since you went to college, and it seems like you don’t have one, so I asked. Even on the days you come home late, you’re always just drinking with your club members.”
Seung-pyo felt completely innocent. He truly had no plans to get a girlfriend.
When he confidently met the suspicious gaze of his Hyung, the older man eventually decided to believe him and looked away without further interrogation. Seung-pyo didn’t back down and continued his questioning.
“Why did you break up?”
“Just because. As we dated, we realized our personalities didn’t match.”
“Then why did you date in the first place?”
“I liked her at first. She seemed cute.”
Seung-pyo hesitated before asking.
“Did sparks fly in your head too, Hyung?”
“What? What sparks?”
“Dad said that when he met Mom, it felt like flowers were blooming in his head.”
“Dad is exaggerating. And even if that were true, do you think he felt that way about everyone? Mom probably wasn’t the only person he dated when he was young.”
“Still.”
“…Honestly.”
His Hyung crushed the empty can and opened a new one.
“Dad only says good things when he talks about Mom. I think that’s only possible because Mom is gone. If she were still alive, I don’t think Dad and Mom would have lived in such a beautiful relationship.”
It was a bitter story, like the aftertaste of the beer, but it was true. Though his Hyung wasn’t much older and sometimes seemed more immature than him, in moments like this, he seemed a bit more like an adult for having lived a few more years.
Seung-pyo added sullenly,
“Still, it would have been better if Mom were alive.”
“That goes without saying.”
In the brief silence of the conversation, the alarm signaled that the laundry was finished. Seung-pyo quickly stood up and headed to the utility room.
The rain-soaked clothes from today and the white towel had finished drying and were crisp. After gathering the dry laundry, Seung-pyo went into his room instead of returning to the TV.
He hung the clothes on a hanger and looked around for a place to put the towel, eventually lying down while still holding it. It was an awkward thing to call a gift, but regardless, it was the first time he had ever received a towel as a gift. Seung-pyo looked closely at the plain towel with a convenience store logo on it.
The cleanly dried towel smelled good. In fact, when he first received it, it had smelled of chemicals because it was too new, but now that it had just been washed, it was fragrant.
At a glance, it looked like just a square piece of cloth, but looking closely, white and fluffy threads were knotted one by one to form a single towel. As he kept staring, each fragrant knot began to look like a small wildflower with white petals. Seung-pyo slowly stroked the slender thread knots with his fingertips.
What does it feel like to like someone?
He thought that love was when a large, beautiful flower, the likes of which the world had never seen, suddenly bloomed inside one’s chest. He believed that although it wasn’t the case yet, once he became an adult, he would meet someone who could make such a flower bloom in his heart.
But perhaps that wasn’t it. Maybe Oh Seung-pyo’s first love was like this: small white wildflowers blooming one by one without him even noticing, until he looked back to find a field that had been empty suddenly filled with flowers.
His hand lingered endlessly as he caressed the soft towel. Would he be able to sleep peacefully tonight? Seung-pyo wasn’t sure.
* * *
This morning, it was harder than usual for Jae-min to get out of bed. It was only natural, since he had fallen asleep late last night.
‘I have something to tell you, but I want to think about it a bit more and tell you tomorrow.’
Oh Seung-pyo, speaking with an uncharacteristically serious face as if issuing a warning, had succeeded in piquing Jae-min’s curiosity. Even after returning home, he had spent so much time wondering what it was that he had even lost sleep. It probably wasn’t anything grand. Given his boastful personality, he might just be trying to pick a fight over something trivial.
Regardless, he was tired from the start of the day because he had overslept. As he struggled to shake off the drowsiness, finished getting ready for school, and left the house, the helper lady followed him to the entrance and handed him a small tumbler.
“Even if you’re busy, you have to eat fruit. Take this to school and eat it.”
Curious, he looked inside to find plump green grapes that could be eaten with the skin. Because he had been in a rush and declined the dessert offered after his meal, she seemed determined to make him eat. Since he couldn’t decline this as well, Jae-min smiled and put it in his bag. The lady continued.
“Are you still getting along well with that friend? I packed plenty so you can share it with your friends.”
“Yes, I will. Thank you, Auntie.”
“Have a good day.”
Jae-min left the house and walked ploddingly. The sentiments of a commute to school—especially on a day after losing sleep—were no different for him, even if he was the top student and a model pupil.
I don’t want to go to school, it’s a hassle, I want to sleep more, I want to go to college already—he moved his feet mechanically, thinking only these boring thoughts. Counting from elementary school, from age eight to eighteen, excluding weekends and vacations, he had been coming to school without fail for eleven years; it was about time he felt exhausted.
However, Ryu Jae-min’s steps toward the school gate were slightly faster and lighter than usual. After all, a curiosity had arisen that could only be resolved by going to school.
Lately, he had been worried because his mood had been unusually slumped for a while. It was certainly true that kissing Oh Seung-pyo in secret was a much more interesting and safe way to relieve stress than playing with a secret social media account, but once it was over, he often felt inexplicably stifled and gloomy, returning to the classroom without being able to talk much.
This was a part he had worried about even immediately after rolling around in bed with Oh Seung-pyo. Whether he could be satisfied with just kissing again after having committed an act that was practically sex.
Fortunately, his energy had returned after making the bet for the final exams. Perhaps he had just been lacking stimulation recently? That was how Jae-min guessed the reason for his stifled heart.
It was about a ten-minute bus ride from home to school. Upon arriving in the classroom, Jae-min habitually scanned the room once before heading to his seat. Oh Seung-pyo, who had left a cryptic notice, had arrived before him. As always, he was surrounded by his close friends.
“Oh Seung, thanks for the umbrella yesterday. I’ll buy the snacks today.”
“It wasn’t even my umbrella anyway.”
“That’s why it’s even more impressive. You got an umbrella just so we wouldn’t get rained on. You’ve got some serious loyalty.”
Hearing the conversation from behind his back, Jae-min’s confusion grew.
‘Oh Seung-pyo got an umbrella?’
To go through the trouble of getting an umbrella only to let his friends use it while he himself got drenched—it was hard to understand if he was simply being praised for his loyalty. Was Oh Seung-pyo such a complicated guy?
Listening to Oh Seung-pyo’s voice as he talked with his friends reminded him of yesterday. Yesterday, too, Oh Seung-pyo had been talking with a few kids who always stuck to him at his seat.
At first, it was a normal conversation, but at some point, the topic shifted to how it was suspicious that he left his seat every break, and the atmosphere turned into one of cornering Oh Seung-pyo, asking if he had gotten a girlfriend.
Since there was no way Oh Seung-pyo would answer honestly, Jae-min could have just ignored it, but for some reason, he felt a prickle on the back of his neck and left the classroom. He happened to be thirsty, so he bought a pack of chocolate milk from the snack bar, and by the time he returned, the topic of their conversation had shifted from Oh Seung-pyo’s non-existent girlfriend to him.
Could they have actually found out? Momentarily anxious, he couldn’t even return to his seat and froze stiff near the back door, when Oh Seung-pyo spoke.
‘He’s not even a friend.’
Oh Seung-pyo’s answer to his friends’ questions was more decisive than Jae-min had ever seen him. He hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but of all times, he had to return just as this was being said. Feeling somewhat awkward, he just bit into the milk straw when his eyes met Oh Seung-pyo’s.
Jae-min was just a bit embarrassed; he wasn’t particularly offended. But Oh Seung-pyo acted restless, like someone caught red-handed talking behind someone’s back. After fleeing the classroom as if his tail were on fire, he even sent a message explaining why he had answered that way.
From Oh Seung-pyo’s perspective, it was a natural answer. Because Jae-min was the first one to say that he and Seung-pyo weren’t friends.
Of course, that was before Oh Seung-pyo had visited his house, and before they had spent a night in one room… but even so, the fact that he had drawn the line first didn’t change. He knew himself that the person who could change the situation was not Oh Seung-pyo, but Ryu Jae-min.
Jae-min thought Oh Seung-pyo had handled it well. Avoiding unnecessary attention from other students was the thing the two of them had to be most careful about. Thanks to that, the students’ conversation flowed toward reprimanding Seung-pyo for being too harsh rather than asking more about the relationship between the two, so there couldn’t have been a better answer.
What was the thing he wanted to say yesterday? He didn’t know why he had given a warning, but if there was business, he hoped he would just do it quickly without stalling. When something curious happened, it interfered with his studying for the exams.
Even without the bet, Jae-min never wanted to lose his spot as the top student in the school. Thinking back to the midterms when Oh Seung-pyo had chased him right up to his heels, he couldn’t afford to be careless. As Seung-pyo said, if the English teacher hadn’t accepted his objection, Jae-min would have slipped and suffered humiliation and disgrace.
Since the stakes were even higher this time, Oh Seung-pyo would be preparing for the exam with gritted teeth. Oh Seung-pyo often called him a pervert or said he was horny, but to Jae-min, it felt like Oh Seung-pyo was describing himself. A guy who was already horny only thought about calling him out to clash lips every chance he got after spending one night at his house. It was no wonder his friends had interrogated him about getting a girlfriend.
Of course, if he had hated it, he wouldn’t have gone out every time Oh Seung-pyo called, so he didn’t intend to blame only the other boy. It was just that if he continued to lose time and focus to the kisses, which had become more frequent than before, it would interfere with his exam preparation, so suggesting a ban on kissing until the finals were over was a natural step.
‘You’re this horny… how are you going to endure without doing it?’
Recalling Seung-pyo’s words, Jae-min frowned slightly.
During the midterms, the period where kissing was banned was longer, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. In fact, seeing Oh Seung-pyo get anxious and throw a fit, asking if they really had to go this far, even made him feel pleased.
That’s why, when Oh Seung-pyo suddenly kissed him at the academy, he should have pushed him away, but far from pushing him, he had instead opened his lips as if he had been waiting, letting Oh Seung-pyo lead him as he pleased.
There was no special reason. Perhaps because it had been a while, Oh Seung-pyo’s body heat and the feeling of his mouth being ransacked were just too good… The honest truth was that he simply couldn’t stop on his own.
Jae-min, who almost fell into a daze thinking about the kiss, snapped back to his senses and shook his head. There was no need to just wait while something was bothering him. He opened the SNS messenger on his phone.
You said you have something to say, when are you doing it
Perhaps because he was busy chatting with his friends, a reply came from Seung-pyo after a few minutes.
I think it’ll take some time
At lunch
Take time? What could there possibly be to talk about for a long time between him and Oh Seung-pyo. No matter how he looked at it, it seemed like a trick to call him out under the guise of something serious just to kiss.
Jae-min thought of the tumbler he had received from the helper lady. She had packed it for him to share with Oh Seung-pyo, and since it was fruit, wouldn’t it be better to eat it quickly? There was still plenty of time before the morning assembly. Jae-min typed a message.
Can’t you just do it now? I have something to give you
This time, the reply came back quickly.
Why do you keep giving me things
You gave me a towel yesterday too
A 5,000-won towel from a convenience store didn’t seem like such a grand object to warrant the phrase “keep giving me things”…
Oh Seung-pyo’s tone was somehow ticklish. He had only picked up the towel because he thought of it while going to buy bottled water to drink during class. He could clearly imagine the sight of him entering the classroom dripping with rainwater.
Oh Seung-pyo was exceptionally tall and had a striking face, so he stood out even when he stayed still. It was obvious how much people would stare if he walked around soaked in rain. Moreover, since it was the season for summer uniforms, being completely drenched made the contours of his body stand out more than usual, even just seeing him on the sports field. It would be even more visible in a bright place…
Many people knew that they were classmates in the same school, and that he was the second-ranked student right behind him, so if many people saw him in such a sloppy state, Jae-min felt he might even be embarrassed himself. No matter how loose the guy was, there was no need to walk around in that state in front of people. Jae-min cleared his throat and sent a reply.
It’s nothing much, just a snack
Auntie packed it for you to eat together
He nipped it in the bud before Seung-pyo could expect some grand gift. Seung-pyo’s reply popped up on the screen quickly again.
It’s not the kind of talk to have while eating
Then talk later and let’s eat first
Come to the resource room
What do you mean later. I told you to do it now… Jae-min grumbled inwardly but stood up, taking the tumbler. As he stepped into the hallway, the noise from the classrooms poured out, making it incredibly loud and chaotic.
The morning time before the assembly always seemed to be the most boisterous. Perhaps it was because they were in their most energetic state after a long sleep and before being worn down by classes. The teachers scolded them every day to be quiet, but Jae-min didn’t dislike the unique vitality that could only be felt when coming to school. As long as he didn’t lose sleep, Jae-min liked the mornings too.
When he opened the door to the resource room, sunlight was pouring in brightly through the window. He sat in a spot where the light pooled and waited for a few minutes, and Oh Seung-pyo followed him in almost immediately.
“You’re here?”
“Yeah.”
Oh Seung-pyo gave a short answer and looked around, rubbing the back of his neck as if he were visiting the archives for the first time. The archives were where the two had their first argument over swapping phones, and it remained one of their favorite secret spots.
They had met and talked here countless times, but for some reason, Seung-pyo seemed awkward about being alone with him today.
‘What’s with him?’
Jae-min felt a momentary wave of awkwardness himself, but once Seung-pyo spotted the tumbler in Jae-min’s hand, he quickly returned to his usual self.
“Did the lady take care of me too? Tell her thanks for me.”
“You’re the only kid she’s taken home lately.”
Jae-min opened the lid of the tumbler. Inside, there was even a small wooden fork. Seung-pyo’s eyes widened as he checked the contents.
“Whoa, aren’t these grapes expensive? I saw them at the mart, and they were like 20,000 won a bunch.”
“Really? I don’t know the price.”
“I guess you don’t have a reason to go to the mart. The lady probably does all the shopping.”
It was true. Instead of answering, Jae-min poked a grape and popped it into his mouth. A sweet and sour taste instantly filled his mouth.
“This is my first time trying these,” Seung-pyo muttered to himself, sounding excited, as he put a grape in his mouth. His eyes widened the moment he chewed.
“Damn, this is seriously delicious.”
“Eat as much as you want.”
Even though the lady prepared fruit every morning, Jae-min often left without eating it because it was a hassle; seeing Seung-pyo’s reaction made him feel a bit reflective. Wondering if the praise was an exaggeration, Seung-pyo spoke after popping a third grape into his mouth.
“I don’t really eat fruit at home.”
“Why? Because it’s expensive?”
“It’s not that, but when I’m alone with Hyung, I just don’t end up eating it. Things like grapes are a pain to wash.”
“I’ll bring some again. She prepares fruit every morning anyway. At home, I’m usually in a rush, and I don’t have much of an appetite right after waking up, so I often just leave without eating.”
“Works for me. I’ve never lost my appetite just because it’s morning.”
Thinking back to how he had eaten two bowls of rice when he visited the house, that sounded about right. Jae-min chuckled and put a grape in his mouth. Perhaps because it had been a while since he woke up and his appetite had returned, it tasted much better than the grapes he ate at home.
Having opened his mouth, which had been shut all night, soaked in the sunlight, and eaten sweet and sour grapes, he felt the last remnants of sleep vanish. Feeling good in many ways, Jae-min brought up the main point.
“What is this thing you wanted to say? Stop stalling and just say it now.”
“I told you it’s not something to talk about right now.”
“Just say it. I’m curious.”
“Can’t you just wait? I told you it takes some time.”
“Then why bring it up when the time is right? Why give a useless heads-up and make me feel frustrated?”
As Jae-min frowned, Seung-pyo responded with a fairly serious expression.
“If I say this, you might feel really bad.”
“Why? What on earth is it?”
“I’m telling you, it’s not something to rush into.”
This guy, really. Feeling the limit of his patience, Jae-min tossed the wooden fork into the empty tumbler.
It seemed there really was something he wanted to say. He had assumed Seung-pyo was just using it as an excuse to call him out and kiss him.
Jae-min remained silent for a moment, thinking, then spoke. He had a good idea.
“Fine. If you tell me now, I’ll let you kiss me today too.”
Seung-pyo’s eyes grew wide, just as they had when he first saw the green grapes.
Since he had kissed him like a starving man yesterday, it was obvious he would pounce with excitement if he were allowed to do it again today. In truth, Jae-min also enjoyed the feeling of kissing, but he had firmly stated that it was off-limits until the final exams. He had originally intended to let it slide just once yesterday, but he figured twice would be okay.
Unexpectedly, however, Seung-pyo didn’t look happy. Instead, he looked flustered as he faced Jae-min, and his face flushed slightly, which didn’t suit him.
“Do you know you’re actually really cute when you’re like this?”
“What?”
Then he said something absurd. Now it was Jae-min who was flustered. Was he hallucinating? Unable to believe what he had just heard, he asked again.
“What did you just say?”
“Nothing.”
Seung-pyo hesitated, then let out a sigh and brushed his hand over his face. Now, not just his face, but even his ears were flushed bright red.
“Doing this is the same as telling me everything.”
“Telling you what? What did you just say?”
Jae-min’s voice trembled slightly. He must have misheard. The problem was his own mind for mishearing a perfectly normal sentence in such a way. If Seung-pyo would just say it one more time, he could breathe a sigh of relief and think, I knew it.
But Oh Seung-pyo did not help Jae-min’s delusion.
“I said you’re cute.”
“…”
“That I…”
“Wait a second.”
“I think I like you.”
I told you to wait a second…
Completely forgetting that he had just been pestering him to speak quickly, Jae-min stared blankly at Seung-pyo’s face.