DS 122

Rut… he said?

“Get out, I said.”

Only then could I understand the words Seo Baek-han had swallowed like gibberish a moment ago.

I knew he was due for a rut soon anyway. On top of that, he had been injected with Alpha pheromone boosters several times, and he even had surgery right before… In a way, it was only natural that a rut would hit him unexpectedly.

There was no point in checking the pheromone detection device anymore. The device, which had been malfunctioning a few times because it didn’t have this level of pheromone input, soon began to emit a sharp, tinnitus-like noise periodically.

“Haa-.”

Even as he couldn’t bear the onrushing heat, throwing off his robe and loosening the tie that was choking his neck, Seo Baek-han remained upright and unyielding.

His shirt was soaked with sweat, revealing the shape of his muscles pulsating like a massive mountain range, and if it weren’t for that sight, it would have been hard to guess that he was in such a difficult state.

On the other hand, I…

Joo Tae-hyun quietly looked down at his own body. The aftermath of the initial pheromone abnormality hadn’t completely subsided, as the tips of his toes trembled without him even realizing it. To think he would so vividly realize that traces of imprinting still remained.

However, unlike before, when he had helplessly melted away in his pheromones, nothing was wet, and his mind was clear, unlike when he had lost his reason at the Lotus Flower Palace.

He couldn’t feel anything from Seo Baek-han.

Seo Baek-han tried to suppress his hot breaths, but it didn’t seem easy to control. Sweatdrops formed at the tip of his lowered chin and fell incessantly. At first glance, it looked as if he was shedding tears.

His face was flushed red with rising arousal, and blue veins stood out and throbbed on every exposed part of his body. The room was instantly filled with heat, giving the illusion that white steam was rising from Seo Baek-han’s crown and shoulders.

Yet, he felt nothing special.

He was surprisingly indifferent.

Even the subtle scent of the well-organized room’s amenities was noticeable, but only Seo Baek-han’s pheromones were bypassing Joo Tae-hyun.

“…I’ll get Doctor Woo.”

Seo Baek-han didn’t say anything, just gripped the handle of the room service cart so hard it seemed like it would break. The tips of his shoes tapped lightly on the floor, as if he was barely holding back from approaching Joo Tae-hyun.

“Tae-hyun, you… it’s still not working for you, is it.”

Just as Joo Tae-hyun, who had been alternating between looking at Seo Baek-han and his own body, was about to turn towards the door, he asked in a low voice. It was a strange voice, so cracked that it was unrecognizable.

“You can’t feel, ha, anything, can you.”

He, who used to nag him endlessly to keep his lips still, was now gritting his teeth so hard that his gums were about to tear.

“Even like this, my pheromones, they don’t reach you? Really…?”

A strange heat surged in Seo Baek-han’s eyes as he followed Joo Tae-hyun. A contradictory despair, as if he had been abandoned even though he had never been taken in, clung stubbornly to everything about him.

It was strange.

It felt like he was finally putting an end to things with Seo Baek-han. He hadn’t felt this way even when he had declared in front of many people that he would get a divorce.

Even when his heart had been worn down to the point of finally spitting out the words that he would give up, he hadn’t shed tears because of this long, unrequited love. The back of his eyes suddenly felt hot, as if a dying ember was making a final struggle.

“Yes, I can’t feel anything.”

Joo Tae-hyun barely managed to answer in a voice that was cracked, as if everything had burned down and only ashes remained. This was the only thing he could say back to Seo Baek-han.

“Nothing at all.”

He had already shown him tears several times. Crying, shouting, and even collapsing. He didn’t want to show him any more pathetic appearances.

Seo Baek-han, who was not collapsing even though he was bowing his head, probably felt the same way.

Since when had it started? When had they started to resemble each other little by little?

Lost in pointless sentimentality, Joo Tae-hyun, who had been gazing at Seo Baek-han, shook his head briefly and averted his eyes.

Resemble? I was just unilaterally following Hyung. Because I wanted to catch his eye, because I wanted to get even a piece of his heart.

When will I ever fix this bad habit of having expectations even in moments like this? I wish all the dirty remnants of emotion would fall away every time I took a step.

Joo Tae-hyun checked the phone in his pocket and opened the door to the room. A chilly breeze swept across the back of his neck, where sweat was already starting to form.

“…Hello. Ah, Doctor. I’m really sorry, but could you check on Baek-han hyung’s condition right now? Yes, not me, Baek-han hyung. It seems like he suddenly went into rut-.”

Even after the door closed, the beeping warning sound lingered in Joo Tae-hyun’s ears.

“Well, I can’t feel it, so I have no idea what kind of state Hyung is in right now.”

As he boarded the descending elevator, Joo Tae-hyun fell endlessly, endlessly towards the end.

* * *

The sound of his own rough breathing, which echoed in his head, felt unfamiliar.

Seo Baek-han barely managed to avoid turning into a beast, and only after hearing the sound of the door closing did he unknowingly let out a short laugh.

“…Joo Tae-hyun.”

His existence floated on the tip of his tongue, in his mind, in every part of him, and he couldn’t help but mutter it.

After that, it was an irresistible force.

Joo Tae-hyun, Joo Tae-hyun… Tae-hyun.

His name overflowed as if a dam had burst. If someone were to cut open his body, wouldn’t those three letters, Joo Tae-hyun, be densely engraved everywhere?

He wanted to hold onto Joo Tae-hyun.

If he showed him how painful the sudden rut was, maybe Joo Tae-hyun would accept him without thinking too much. He even entertained such uncharacteristic expectations.

Or he could beg him to allow him just once.

No, he wanted to.

What did pride matter when his body was collapsing from the heat of heat? There was a reason why it was called a heat period. Whether it was a rut or a heat, no shifter could be free from this sensation. It was not an area that could be controlled by one’s own will.

However, Seo Baek-han could only watch Joo Tae-hyun cut him off and turn away.

‘Yes, I can’t feel anything. Nothing at all.’

Seeing him unable to sense only his pheromones, he realized that he had reached the final moment. He could no longer deny it. Joo Tae-hyun had already put an end to his feelings. Even though messy traces were left here and there, it was already over for him.

And Seo Baek-han, only after accepting Joo Tae-hyun’s end, finally realized his own feelings.

“Director Seo! Oh my, his condition is too….”

Ah, I see.

I like Joo Tae-hyun.

Because he was comfortable and convenient because he matched well with me. Because the sex was good. Because he imprinted with him… He shouldn’t have attached such reasons.

He didn’t know when this feeling had started to sprout, but he liked Joo Tae-hyun.

He liked him, and he still liked him.

“Professor, what should we do?”

“Well, let’s administer an emergency suppressant first. It’s a rut that came after several injections of pheromone boosters. Given the special circumstances, any other treatment beyond that would be dangerous.”

The sound of the door opening and the medical staff rushing in was distant.

Listening to the fragmented words, Seo Baek-han laughed weakly like a madman.

Only after Joo Tae-hyun raised the white flag, only after he was overwhelmed by the heat that forced him to expose everything to the bottom as a shifter, did he realize.

After acknowledging it, everything that he couldn’t understand until then fit together smoothly.

He liked Joo Tae-hyun.

Would he have accepted that absurd proposal in the first place if it had been someone else?

He had proceeded with the marriage because he liked his conditions and felt that Joo Tae-hyun himself was interesting. But still, if it had been his usual self, no matter how interested he was, he would have dismissed it as just a guy.

Even if an unexpected situation like a pheromone abnormality had occurred, he would have requested emergency medical supplies first and waited as if observing, rather than mixing bodies with a man.

Yes. He had accepted Joo Tae-hyun even though he knew his own tendencies, and he had even reluctantly held him in his arms. He should have noticed earlier that he was different from other people…

Seo Baek-han finally faced the contradiction that he himself had not been aware of until then.

What washed over him at the end of his realization was an unfamiliar despair.

He liked Joo Tae-hyun… so he didn’t want to end it like this. How could he hold onto Joo Tae-hyun? He had always considered the ability to quickly respond to any situation and flexibly handle it as one of his strengths, but now he couldn’t think of any answers.

Only Joo Tae-hyun’s face flickered in his feverish, hazy mind.

Joo Tae-hyun, who cried and pushed him away as if he was terrible, and then completely rejected everything about him.