Chapter 180

thirty eight

Finally, he voiced a question that had been swirling in his mind the whole time. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t understand. What on earth had those bastards done? Dane couldn’t suppress his anxiousness and continued his questioning.

“Why did Grayson willingly get kidnapped? I can’t figure it out. If he had wanted to, he could have killed all those guys right then and there…”

He could have killed them all on the spot.

Dane barely managed to swallow the last words. After parting ways with Grayson Miller that day, the question had suddenly occurred to him. It had started small, but it had grown bigger and bigger, eventually becoming an unsolvable mystery, constantly tormenting Dane like a splinter under his fingernail that he couldn’t pull out.

Why? What for?

He couldn’t ask Grayson now. The only person who could tell Dane the reason now was the man in front of him. Ezra seemed somewhat surprised by the almost desperate look on Dane’s face, but he soon became dejected and lowered his head.

“It was because of me.”

“What?”

Taken aback by the unexpected answer, Dane couldn’t help but frown and ask again. But Ezra, still in a subdued voice, perhaps due to guilt, answered with a slight tremor in his voice.

“It’s because of me. I begged him… to please go along with those people. Otherwise, I and my whole family would die.”

Dane blinked blankly. He had come this far thinking he would get an answer, but instead, an even bigger question had arisen. Nonsense, just because of those words, that guy silently went along and even got tortured? For Ezra and his family?

“…That’s all?”

To Dane’s still disbelieving question, Ezra nodded.

“That’s all.”

At the repeated answer, Dane said nothing. He just stared at Ezra. Whether he was uncomfortable with the silence or thought he needed to explain further, Ezra spoke again.

“At first, he seemed dumbfounded. But I told him I desperately needed the money, so I had no choice, and I was sorry… I begged and cried, and maybe that’s why…”

Ezra sighed deeply. Dane remained silent, his face still blank as if he were picturing the events of that day before his eyes. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again, unable to speak for a while.

After a few more seconds of silence, a slow but deep sigh escaped from his lips.

“That bastard…”

Dane’s expression, as he held his forehead with one hand, looked very pained. Ezra thought he had realized something, but Dane didn’t bother to explain and said something else.

“Okay, thanks for telling me.”

“Yeah…”

In fact, it was more embarrassing to be thanked. Ezra, thinking it wasn’t a big deal, lowered his gaze with a bitter expression and asked cautiously.

“Hey, how’s Miller doing? I wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t meet him…”

“I don’t know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him either.”

At Dane’s businesslike tone, Ezra was flustered but could only say, “Okay.” Just then, the guard waiting behind them signaled that visiting hours were almost over. Ezra glanced back, looked at Dane, and said goodbye.

“It was good to see your face after a long time. Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah… take care.”

Dane also said the standard greeting. He was about to put down the receiver, but suddenly stopped. Surprised by the unexpected action, Ezra also stopped trying to hang up, and Dane brought the receiver back to his face and spoke.

“One more thing, I’m curious about something.”

“Yeah. What is it?”

Although time was almost up, Ezra asked back without hesitation. Only then did Dane voice the question he had forgotten.

“Why didn’t you sell that necklace? Even though you were that desperate.”

At Dane’s question, Ezra blinked in confusion.

“Necklace…? What?”

Seeing that he had no idea what he was talking about, Dane explained.

“The necklace that the teddy bear was wearing. I heard it was worth about $400,000.”

Ezra, who seemed to be searching his memory for a moment, soon turned pale as if he was shocked. He could only open his mouth and make no sound, but after a few attempts, he asked in a very cracked voice.

“F, four hundred thousand?”

“Yeah. Didn’t you know?”

When Dane asked again, Ezra muttered as if he was completely out of it.

“It wasn’t fake…?”

Seeing his reaction that he had no idea of its value, Dane soon became suspicious.

“How did you get it? That necklace.”

Ezra, startled as if he had come to his senses at the cold voice, soon lowered his head with a dejected expression.

“Grayson.”

He muttered in a very subdued voice.

“Grayson gave it to me, as a birthday present for my child.”

Dane wasn’t surprised. He himself was puzzled, but perhaps he had been expecting it deep down. Ezra was already sobbing as he continued to speak.

“He even told me to find out about the necklace, but I didn’t…”

The sobs soon turned into crying. The guard, who had been watching, announced that the visit was over and grabbed his arm. Ezra, who had been led away by the guard, suddenly shook off his hand as he approached the door and began to bang his head against the wall. The guard inside tried to stop him, but Ezra continued to bang his head against the wall while crying. Dane, watching the bloodstains spreading on the wall, silently turned around and left the visiting room.

Outside, the world was still bright and the sky was a clear blue. Dane, frowning, looked up at the distant, cloudless sky and sighed softly.

“Stupid bastard.”

He didn’t even know who he was cursing. Was he talking to Ezra, who had made the wrong choices in the end, or…?

With a deep breath close to a sigh, he vented his complicated feelings in a low voice.

“In that situation, you should have hit Ezra first.”

Wasn’t that obvious? To be dragged away without a word at such ridiculous threats, it would have been better to beat Ezra until he came to his senses and find a solution together. But the reason why that guy made such an absurd choice is obvious.

‘I thought you would do that.’

“Damn it, you really don’t know anything about me.”

Dane kicked the car tire in a fit of anger. Grayson really hadn’t contacted him even once since they said goodbye at Disneyland that day. He didn’t even know how he was doing. Even though the seasons had already passed.

Thank you for everything. I won’t forget you.

Those were his last words. He smiled with a face swollen from crying. The flower that had bloomed brightly was now fading weakly.

Goodbye.

The memory of standing there watching his car drive away was still vividly etched in his mind, as if it were just yesterday, and it was hard to erase. In the end, Dane ruffled his hair irritably and muttered.

“I was the one who said let’s stop. What do you mean goodbye? When did we ever agree to meet again…?”

He tried grumbling to himself, but there was still no reply. After slowly looking around, Dane confirmed that he was alone and soon closed his mouth bitterly.

What is that guy doing?

Unable to shake off the sudden thought, he stood there for a long time. Alone, as he had always been, with no one.

But for some reason, Dane felt that fact particularly keenly.

Desire Me if you can

Below the wide balcony, which was directly connected when you opened the window, was a huge park. One of Koi’s favorite things to do was to sit at the tea table surrounded by a small garden on the balcony on a nice day, have a simple meal or drink tea, and look down at the park. This was also the reason why Koi hadn’t gotten rid of this penthouse a long time ago. Thanks to this, Koi’s children often stayed here when they had business in the East. When Koi heard that one of his sons was here this time, he put aside all his work and rushed there first.

“Hello, Mr. Niles.”

“Hello, Benjamin.”

Koi greeted the doorman who greeted him at the entrance in a friendly manner, gave him a generous tip for pressing the private elevator button, and headed upstairs.

The closer he got to the top floor, the faster his heart beat. His face quickly turned red, and as soon as the elevator doors opened, he immediately rushed to the front door. Then, the name he had been holding in his heart burst out of his mouth.

“Grayson!”

181 – 181

He strode into the house with a cheerful shout, quickly scanning his surroundings. Where was he? He was definitely here somewhere.

“Grayson!”

Koi called out his name again, passing through the living room and heading straight for the bar. Next, he checked the drawing room, the tea room, and even the music room, but the face he sought was nowhere to be found. Puzzled, he went up the stairs to the second floor. What was going on? Could something bad have happened…?

Just as his heart began to sink, Koi found him. Grayson was lying on a sofa on the balcony connected to the living room. Seeing his legs stretched out long, dangling from the armrest of the sofa, Koi sighed in relief and hurried over to him.

“Grayson, you were here.”

Grayson, who had been basking in the sun with his eyes closed until then, reluctantly opened his eyelids. Koi, looking down at him, greeted him with a kiss on his forehead.

“How have you been? I missed you.”

Unlike Koi, who spoke kindly with a smiling face, Grayson frowned.

“Where’s Papa?”

He asked, blinking.

“Where’s Papa? Surely Daddy didn’t come alone.”

“I came alone.”

At the immediate answer, Grayson slowly sat up and looked at his face. Seeing his gaze as if asking what he meant, Koi continued.

“Ash had a schedule today and couldn’t come right away, so he told me to come first. He said it was okay for me to be alone with you.”

“Heeuung……”

Grayson made a strange noise and tilted his head. Ignoring his son’s reaction, Koi pulled a chair from the tea table and sat next to him, asking, “What happened? Why did you suddenly come to the East Coast?”

“Ah……”

Grayson swept back his hair and answered casually.

“I have some business to take care of.”

Is he unwilling to talk to me? Koi thought, when he added, “I have some people to meet.”

“People?”

“Yes.”

That was it. Sensing that he wouldn’t say any more, Koi decided not to ask. He was more worried about something else.

“You look like you’ve lost a lot of weight, Grayson.”

Koi wore a worried expression, looking at his son’s sunken cheeks. Grayson simply lifted the corners of his mouth to smile.

Koi silently stared at his profile. His son was like a flower that had lost all its vitality. How powerless he felt, seeing the leaves withering yellow, unable to do anything.

He knew that Grayson had broken up with Dane. He had met and broken up with countless lovers until now, but this time was definitely different. Even Koi, who was usually told he was slow to notice things, could tell that something had changed in his son.

Are you having a hard time, Grayson?

Koi couldn’t bring himself to say those words and simply stroked his son’s shoulder. But Grayson remained sitting there, staring into the distance with empty eyes.

Desire Me if you can

Ashley’s visit came not long after that. Koi, who had been enduring the heavy silence and simply sitting next to Grayson, jumped up from his seat as soon as he saw him.

“Ash, welcome.”

“Koi.”

Ashley, who kissed him as a matter of course, soon turned his attention to his son. He scanned Grayson, who slowly got up and looked at him, paused, and then opened his mouth.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight. Are you eating well?”

Koi was startled by the quiet voice. Ashley, who was always strict with the children, was speaking as if he were speaking to Koi. Grayson, too, seemed surprised and paused for a moment.

“……Yes, roughly.”

To the short answer, he still spoke calmly.

“You need to eat well. ……Shall we have dinner together later?”

This was another surprising change. Ashley didn’t say, ‘We’re having dinner, so prepare it,’ but asked, ‘Shall we?’ He was now asking his son’s opinion. Again, Grayson looked somewhat bewildered and shook his head.

“No, I’ll eat separately.”

“……Okay.”

An awkward silence fell. A different atmosphere than the tension that was always taut between them permeated the air, and Koi looked back and forth between them with wide eyes. Perhaps this was…….

“Ah, well.”

He cleared his throat and opened his mouth.

“I’m going to get some water. You two talk.”

If his old friend Ariel had seen this, she would have cheered in amazement. ‘Koi, you’ve developed such a sense!’ she would have said. Feeling proud of himself, Koi quickly left the room. And Ashley and Grayson were left alone.

The first to move was Ashley. He sat in the chair at the tea table where Koi had been sitting, and pointed to the sofa as if telling him to sit down too. When Grayson obediently sat there, Ashley finally opened his mouth.

“Are you suppressing your Pheromone?”

This much hadn’t changed. Whenever he saw the children, Ashley always asked this question first. Grayson nodded listlessly.

“I went to Steward and suppressed it. I checked the levels, and I was told they were lower than average.”

“Your Pheromone is lower than average?”

“Yes.”

At the unexpected words, Ashley frowned and asked, and Grayson nodded obediently.

“I suppressed it a lot.”

Only then did Ashley understand the meaning of his words. But that didn’t mean he could rest assured.

“Suppressing too much at once isn’t good.”

It could easily lead to shock. Grayson replied nonchalantly to Ashley’s warning.

“Steward checked everything, so it’s okay.”

Ashley said nothing. Grayson, without any discomfort, looked only at irrelevant things even with his gaze fixed on his face. Ha, Ashley, who let out a short sigh, opened his mouth.

“If there’s anything I can do for you, tell me.”

Grayson nodded and said, “Yes, I’ll call Bernice.”

“No, tell me.”

Ashley firmly corrected the obediently returned answer. Grayson looked bewildered again. Ashley softened his tone again and added, “Contact me directly, I’ll answer right away anytime.”

“……Okay.”

“Okay.”

Ashley, who nodded back, patted his son’s shoulder once.

Silence returned in an instant. No one spoke first. As if trapped in their own thoughts, they closed their mouths tightly, and after some time had passed, Grayson suddenly opened his mouth.

“How did you know?”

At the sudden question, Ashley frowned and looked at him. Grayson stared straight at him and asked again.

“How did you know I was going to kill Dane?”

A cold air swirled between them. Ashley remained silent for a while, only looking at his son’s face. Leaving a space between them, he slowly, very slowly, moved his lips.

“Back then, you smiled, didn’t you?”

Grayson paused at the quiet voice. Looking at his frozen son, Ashley added, “When I heard that Dane Striker might go blind.”

Grayson couldn’t answer immediately at the words that followed without a chance to escape. He moved his eyes from side to side as if trying to think of another excuse for a moment, but soon gave up and shrugged.

“How did you know? I even covered my mouth because I was smiling.”

Looking at his son, who was smiling his familiar smile, Ashley gave his answer.

“Your ears.”

With a quiet voice, his gaze turned to Grayson’s ears.

“They moved.”

Grayson didn’t react for a while. He just silently looked at Ashley before asking again.

“Why did you think I was smiling?”

It could have been any other reaction. It could have just been a meaningless movement. But Ashley stared at him with a cold gaze.

“Of course, there couldn’t be any other reason, could there?”

“Haha……”

Grayson let out an empty laugh at the lackluster answer.

“Was the warning you gave me back then because of Grandpa?”

At the question that came back again, Ashley frowned and looked at him. Grayson was still looking into the distance as he spoke.

“I heard it from Bernice. How Grandpa died.”

Ashley silently stared at his son’s profile.

“……No.”

He muttered in a voice lower than usual.

“It was because I would have.”

A cold air swirled between them. Ashley remained silent for a while, staring at his son’s surprised face. Leaving a space between them, he slowly, very slowly, moved his lips.

“If it were me, I would have done it, without hesitation.”

Grayson stared intently at his face. Papa would kill Daddy? Did that make any sense? It was something he couldn’t even imagine, but Ashley Miller never joked. Especially not in this situation.

“I used to think you looked a lot like my father.”

He murmured self-deprecatingly.

“Recently, I thought you looked like me. ……But it wasn’t.”

Ashley stopped talking there. Grayson, who was staring silently at the deep wrinkles at the corners of his mouth, asked, “What will happen to me now?”

Ashley answered simply to the ambiguous question, whether he sincerely wanted an answer or just threw it out there.

“I don’t know, not as me.”

He added bitterly.

“Neither I nor my father had the courage to go down that path.”

Ha, Ashley, who let out a short sigh and swept his face with one hand, looked at his son. Grayson felt strange at his father’s unfamiliar expression. Ashley continued to speak to him.

“You made a choice that neither I nor my father could have made. You’re you, different from me or my father.”

A sad smile flickered across his lips.

“Excellent.”

Ah. Grayson suddenly remembered. He had seen that expression somewhere before. The very face that Dane had shown Grayson. The one that Ashley was wearing now.

So this is compassion.

He suddenly realized.

An emotion I could never understand, an expression I couldn’t learn.

That was compassion.

With that, his eyes welled up. He knew. Dane Striker didn’t love me. He just pitied me. He would probably be willing to give his life for me too. Fairly to everyone in the world.

“……I hate firefighters so much.”

Grayson said with a listless smile.

Why do emotions have to coexist with memories?

He had learned something he didn’t need to know. Now he would never be able to go to Disneyland, which he loved so much. He wouldn’t be able to see the fireworks either. Because the pain at that time would remain in his memory forever and torment him forever.

Even though he would never see the person who left him with this emotion and memory again.

But if, if there really was a god. Grayson vaguely recalled.

I hope that man’s last moments won’t be alone.