TLT 105

Yi-tae was just silent. He even seemed like he didn’t understand me. But I wasn’t asking for an answer right away anyway.

I nudged him, who was frozen. Yi-tae’s clear eyes turned to me.

“Don’t answer now. We’re busy today.”

I handed Yi-tae the bag I had packed. He took the luggage dutifully, despite his confused expression. With today’s porter secured and the weather uncharacteristically sunny for Seattle, all that was left was to enjoy ourselves.

I opened the door and stepped out first. It was the moment when a long-standing discomfort was finally resolved.

∗ ∗ ∗

As expected, the cherry blossom viewing spot on the weekend was packed with people. There were more people than petals, and you could easily get swept away if you weren’t careful.

I had learned before that Seattle gets a lot of rain, so the petals fall early. There was even a joke that going to see the cherry blossoms on a sunny day was almost a stroke of luck.

That’s why there are more people than usual.

The campus, in full bloom with pink blossoms, was even more radiant in the sunlight. I spread out the mat on the green grass first. It wasn’t easy to find a good spot near the cherry blossom path, but we happened to find a decent one.

While we were dating, we always went to see the flowers in the spring. Conservative eyes saw us as just friends, but walking that path made me feel like our relationship was secretly acknowledged as lovers.

Although we couldn’t be together in the year we broke up, I could now accept that even that was a premonition. We broke up because we weren’t acknowledged. Because it was our own long-standing promise.

I lay down on the mat and caught a petal falling in the wind.

“Did you go cherry blossom viewing last year? Maybe the year before last… you must have gone.”

I didn’t feel hungry for some reason. I even bought a delicious sandwich. The flower on my palm tickled. I don’t have pollen allergies, so it must be the romantic effect of spring.

If you look at just one petal, it’s whiter than pink, but why does the whole world turn pink when they’re together? It was really amazing. I picked it up with my fingertips and held it to the tip of my nose. It didn’t smell like anything.

“I haven’t been flower viewing for two years. Last year, I didn’t feel like it, and the year before last, I was too busy with work.”

“Liar. There was a cherry blossom path in front of your company.”

“I didn’t know.”

This guy, he thinks he can get away with anything if he insists.

There were cherry blossom trees lined up in front of Yi-tae’s old company. You could see them really easily on the way to lunch. If you walk that path with someone you like, that’s a date. Do you have to declare, ‘We’re going sightseeing now!’ to start?

I felt sullen. Back then, I was afraid to ask the truth, so I ran away. With the assumption that he had already gone with someone else. But Yi-tae was most at fault for making me feel that way.

I blurted out and pointed out Yi-tae’s words.

“How could you not know that?”

“I hated flowers back then. I didn’t even know they were blooming outside.”

Yi-tae’s thigh, which was touching my hair, moved. It seemed like he was moving a little further to the right. The sunlight that was pouring onto my face was blocked by Yi-tae’s shadow. The glare was a little less.

Yi-tae liked flowers, even I knew that before we dated, so what. If that wasn’t the case, he wouldn’t have taken my profile picture in front of the cherry blossom trees on the university campus every spring.

I weakly threw the petal towards Yi-tae’s face. It didn’t even touch him and fell back onto my face.

“You used to like them.”

“…I did.”

Yi-tae smiled faintly. I was really jealous of his face that looked good even when viewed from below.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the pleasant commotion. The laughter of the people tickled my heart more than the flowers blooming here. Yi-tae used to stroke my hair when we were like this.

Before I got lost in sentimentality, I slowly sat up. I was starting to get hungry now. Yi-tae was quietly looking at the cherry blossoms falling like snow.

See? There’s no way he doesn’t like flowers. He can’t take his eyes off them.

I should stick a fallen flower branch in his ear later.

“I’ll take pretty pictures of you later, so let’s eat first.”

“Okay. If I had known, I would have prepared something.”

“What could a guy without a home prepare? Were you going to pack a lunch box like you used to?”

Yi-tae was good at cooking. He wasn’t good at it from the beginning, but he gradually improved as he kept making it. Later, we took turns like it was our duty, but Yi-tae was originally in charge of cooking.

When we went out like this, he would pack a four-tiered lunch box and we would go out together. Sometimes he would even take a half-day off to put his heart and soul into it. He looked so cute when he seemed excited like a child going on a picnic. Of course, I was just as excited.

It was natural for the excitement to decrease as we became more familiar with each other. Still, I thought we could overcome it if we tried. But…

“I was going to buy lunch today anyway. You deliberately made time for me.”

“Then you buy dinner. Let’s go to a Michelin-starred steakhouse.”

“Okay, let’s do that.”

Yi-tae answered my stubbornness without hesitation and busily spread out the food. Since we bought it from a store that opened in the morning, it was mostly light food.

Kimbap was placed in front of me. Yi-tae always put kimbap on the first layer of the lunch box. He had always done that since he heard me say that kimbap was essential for picnics.

I don’t know if it was because of the memory correction, but the taste was so good that I often thought about it even after we broke up. I even dreamed of sending a pathetic message in the early morning saying, ‘I really hate you and you’re terrible, but can you tell me the kimbap recipe?’

Fried rice was placed in front of Yi-tae. I made that yesterday after work. I had the ingredients, and well, I just made it because I was bored.

He picked up the container in front of him and stared at the fried rice, as if he was dissatisfied with something.

“What?”

“…Did you make this yourself?”

“Does it show?”

I even showed the meticulousness of bringing it in a plastic container on purpose, but how did he know? Yi-tae nodded slowly. It was placed closer to his side than before. He had always liked my fried rice.

After putting the fruit in the middle, I picked up my chopsticks. Since we knew what each other liked, the movements were clean.

I stuffed my mouth full of kimbap. It wasn’t as good as the one he made, but this place was also famous for being delicious, so it tasted pretty good.

I chewed carefully so I wouldn’t choke and slowly looked around. There were mostly couples showing affection. Ah, they’re kissing over there. My gaze was fixed on that spot. It was so aggressive that my face turned red.

It was hard to tell properly because of the distance, but both of them seemed to be healthy adult men.

It was too quiet in front of me, so I turned my gaze. It’s rude to stare too much. Is he eating properly?

There was a man in front of me with his eyes red. It looked like tears would fall if I touched him. He had only cried a handful of times while we were dating. He’s not old enough to be affected by hormones yet.

“Are you crying?”

He shook his head.

“Really not crying?”

This time, he nodded. Even his nose turned red. He was definitely trying his best to hold back his tears. He bit his lips secretly. He composed himself with the mission of not laughing.

Yi-tae buried his face in the plastic container and stuffed a spoonful of rice into his mouth. I deliberately made it salty, sweet, and very spicy. He ate it well, stuffing it in without even saying it was too salty.

Yi-tae, who can’t drink alcohol well and can’t eat spicy food well, quickly turned red in the face.

“It’s delicious, right? You can cry if you’re moved by my skills.”

I slid a glass of water in front of him. He didn’t drink the water, saying it wasn’t spicy, and emptied the bowl without leaving anything behind. Was it that delicious? There’s no way.

He didn’t cry even though it was so spicy that his neck turned red. Of course, I didn’t make it this spicy for him to cry. But I did expect him to eat it all to the end, no matter how bad it tasted.

After eating everything, he drank four glasses of water in a row. It must have been spicy. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

I didn’t know why Yi-tae wanted to act so strong in front of me, but his obvious appearance was quite cute.

Sss. He couldn’t help but make a sound, and then said calmly as if he wasn’t.

“It was delicious. Thank you. Sorry for making you prepare it alone.”

“But why didn’t you cry?”

“…Should I cry?”

He rubbed his red eyes with the back of his hand. It seemed like the tears were already gone, but maybe not. He blinked his moist eyes.

It would be interesting to see him cry, but I rejected it by shaking my head because it seemed like I made him cry. I could feel his heart without him saying anything. A playfulness suddenly rose up, and I got up from my seat, leaving him behind.

I saw a broken flower branch far away. I would never have done it in the old days, but today I felt like I could stick it in his ear myself.

It was a small branch with three cherry blossoms. I pressed down on the corners of my mouth, which were already twitching with laughter, and approached Yi-tae.

I carefully held out the flower to him.

“Can you put this in my ear?”

My voice was already full of playfulness. I had definitely realized that he couldn’t refuse my words. Then I should use it.

Yi-tae’s eyes shook violently. His embarrassed face turned red.