By Zephyria 
The morning in Seattle was refreshing.
Birds chirped outside the window, and warm sunlight poured down from the clear sky after a long time.
“Ah… I must have been an angel.”
Gyeoul mumbled, still drowsy with sleep. Angels lived in heaven. In other words, I was in heaven now, so I must be an angel. There was absolutely no error in that logic.
In fact, I hadn’t slept properly for weeks, so my brain wasn’t functioning normally. The fundamental cause of the nonsense was the fatigue that had accumulated to the point of almost dying.
Stretching languidly, I slowly crawled out of bed. Even with the heater on, my body shivered at the cold floor. I needed to warm myself on the Ondol floor in times like this.
Until yesterday, I felt like I was doing a circus act in the fires of hell. Overtime was the norm, and I even pulled all-nighters to barely finish the project. To clean up someone else’s mess with such dedication. Of course, thanks to that, I did achieve satisfactory results.
I was free for the time being. Until I took on a new project, I decided to work from home. A little vacation was a bonus.
In the process of winning the vacation, Ian desperately grabbed me, wanting me to stay with him, which made me angry, but either way, it was all good. I could rest well for the time being.
I had been living a terrible life where I couldn’t tell if I was in Seoul or Seattle. Even in harsh Korea, I had never been run ragged from head to toe like this.
I checked my phone, which I had charged, to see if there were any urgent calls. In this industry, things often blew up suddenly. But fortunately, since I hadn’t had time to make friends, the notification screen was quiet.
Michael
[Winter. Would you like to go on a 4-night, 5-day trip with me starting tomorrow? I’m thinking of going to New York during this vacation, and if you’ve never been, I thought it would be nice to go with me. I heard you’re taking a break for a while too. Think about it and let me know.]
Maybe it was because it was written in English, but the text felt like it was in informal speech. If it wasn’t just because I was bad at English, it was shockingly friendly.
No, in the first place, going to New York, which was a 6-hour flight away, with a coworker I had only known for a few months was not normal. Was he going out of his way to be considerate, or was I the only person he could go with? He felt familiar, like a Hubae in Korea.
I didn’t hesitate for long. I quickly sent a reply.
[Sounds good. Please book my plane ticket as well. Let’s talk about the details over the phone. Call me when you’re free.]
I habitually went in and out of my inbox. The project was over, so there was no reason to expect any calls, but my fingers moved on their own, perhaps because we had been talking so often lately. Couldn’t we still contact each other even after it was over? We had become so close.
‘I wonder if he’s adjusting well to the company.’
He was a bit shy. I thought of him, who must be working hard in New York right now. Should I ask him to meet up sometime? I only pondered for a moment before my thoughts quickly drifted elsewhere.
There was a mountain of housework piled up that I had to do right away, like laundry and grocery shopping. Living alone in a foreign country was not easy. It would be nice to have a roommate.
Then I would be less lonely.
I opened the door wide to ventilate the room. They had been saying that it would be colder than usual due to La Niña, and it was true. I closed my eyes in the chilly breeze and took a deep breath until my lungs felt like they would burst.
I was now used to living alone. I sometimes made mistakes by acting according to habits ingrained in my body, but it was really okay. Anyway, life was about each person fending for themselves. No one could take responsibility for another person for life.
“I need to move quickly. Hurry, hurry. I have so much to do. Ahem.”
I turned around, humming. Indulging in sentimentality was a luxury.
∗ ∗ ∗
“Over here, Winter!”
Michael, wearing a light jacket, waved and greeted me. His curly hair was even more puffed up from the brief rain in the morning. It was definitely perfect weather just yesterday, but it was so fickle.
It was warm enough that the scarf I had brought, worrying about the cold, was unnecessary. Michael often grumbled that winter had become particularly cold since I came, saying that my name, Winter, had brought the snow.
“Did you wait long?”
“No, not really. You took my advice and brought a spacious bag. That’s great. Perfect.”
Behind Michael, I noticed a carrier bigger than mine. It was a bag that conveyed a grand ambition, as if he was planning to bring all the luxury brands he could.
We chatted lightly about recent events and went straight into the airport. Michael, who had been laughing at my scarf for a while, subtly asked if I had even brought an umbrella.
I closed my eyes without a word, as the umbrella I had brought just in case was deep in my carrier. Even if I said yes, I didn’t think I would hear anything good.
It took about 6 hours to get to New York. Michael seemed familiar with the process and fell asleep as soon as we took off, and I also listened to a few songs with my earphones before quickly falling asleep. Sleeping for a whole day didn’t completely relieve the accumulated fatigue.
In my dream, I saw someone familiar yet unfamiliar. He smiled brightly at me, holding out a container of soybean paste and a container of red pepper paste. Judging from the fact that I couldn’t remember his face well after waking up, he didn’t seem to be handsome.
Thanks to Michael’s familiarity with New York, we got out of the airport very quickly. An Uber to Manhattan from LGA airport, which he had booked sometime, soon arrived. It seemed like it would be a very comfortable trip, just as he said.
“We’ll stop by the accommodation for a bit and then go to Times Square. We’ll have dinner and look around, then end the day with a cocktail while looking at the night view from the Rooftop. How does that sound?”
“I knew you were competent at work, but that’s a really great plan, Michael.”
He was very happy and laughed loudly at my flattering compliment. The driver turned up the radio a little louder. A familiar pop song thumped and flowed along the road.
The road was blocked due to rush hour, which could have been frustrating, but I stared out the window with my mouth open at the pouring night view. The dazzling lights and flashy neon signs were more brilliantly embroidered with light than any night sky.
I once listened to a song about New York with him and promised to come together…
He didn’t really like traveling, and I really wanted to come to New York with him. Because this city seemed to suit him so well. It was a resolution that stemmed from a trivial desire to see him standing in New York.
Although it was never kept.
The song happened to play on the radio, and I was immersed in memories. I hummed along to the song quietly enough that it wouldn’t reach others. I’m a Korean man in New York. I tapped my toes to the rhythm.
The driver, who had been unusually quiet until we reached our destination, smiled innocently and said, “Have a good time.” We wished him a happy new year, albeit late, and exchanged pleasant greetings.
We went straight into the hotel, which had been booked with twin beds, and under Michael’s guidance, I changed into a chic New York-style outfit. This was because of his long speech about how the Rooftop we were going to today had a dress code that we had to match.
“Winter, did you have any fantasies about New York? People who come for the first time often say they’re overwhelmed by the atmosphere.”
“I didn’t really have any. …I vaguely believed that I would come someday, though.”
“Really? Then I’ll decide on the dinner menu instead of Winter, who has no expectations. Something amazing.”
Michael said preemptively, as if he saw an opportunity. I had decided to completely follow him on this trip, so I told him to go ahead. He said that he was from Manhattan, New York, and began to tell me a lot of information again.
…He was really talkative. I could talk a lot, but he was even more so.
I barely cut him off, saying that I was hungry, and plunged into the colorful city that had been completely darkened. This place was like a wave, and it was also like the inside of a machine that never stopped.
I melted into the passionate atmosphere and moved excitedly. On the way out after eating, I saw a familiar character walking around, and when I tried to take a picture with it, Michael stopped me in horror. He laughed for a long time, saying that I almost got ripped off.
“This is it. The hottest and most private Rooftop.”
“I don’t think those words can coexist.”
“No, it’s true. You can only get in here if you look a certain way.”
I was dumbfounded by Michael’s firm answer, as he had never evaluated my appearance before. Well… that’s how it was, and Michael was also full of confidence in his own face, so we confidently headed to the Rooftop.
The place was very quiet, as Michael had said, but it was full of people. Soft music played, and the glittering forest of buildings could be seen at a glance through the huge glass windows.
I happened to sit at an empty window table and took a sip of the Manhattan I had just ordered. The first taste was sweet, but the aftertaste was bitter, just like New York. Of course, it had only been half a day since I came to New York.
Michael, who had become familiar with the atmosphere, suddenly discovered someone he knew and left me. In fact, I thought it was okay even without him because I was drunk on the atmosphere, so I told him it was okay and sent him off right away.
Was it because I kept drinking because of the sweet taste? I was getting tipsy. Drunk on the night view, drunk on the alcohol, drunk on the atmosphere. …And drunk on loneliness.
Why do I miss Korea, where nothing is left? After coming to such a great travel destination. To think of a place where there is not even any lingering attachment left.
I smiled self-deprecatingly and turned my head to the other side to find Michael. I was slowly scanning the people when a man in a black coat caught my eye. He was leaning against a table, mingling with the people he came with, with a blank expression.
“Oh…”
Black hair, black coat, black shoes. All black, he was a person who suited New York very well.