By Zephyria I was momentarily speechless, unsure which action to suspect first.
Was it the overly natural skinship, the unfamiliar sentences hinting at something more, or perhaps the affectionate gaze directed at me?
Ian gently stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, as if to thaw my frozen hand. It was then that I realized how long we had been sitting there. The snow had stopped long ago, but the wind had intensified. My cheeks stung. The now-empty tumbler sat beside the chair. Was Seattle’s altitude lower than Korea’s? The darkening sky seemed ready to collapse.
Unable to either pull away or hold on, I merely wiggled my frozen fingers. But before I could do anything, the warmth quickly receded. As if it had never been there. Without a trace.
“I’ll report you if you keep trying to seduce me.”
I warned Ian sternly.
“On what charge?”
“Stealing my heart.”
Even as I said it, I knew it was a corny line, but I couldn’t take it back. Like Ian said, I needed to get out of this chilly place. The lake’s calm waves rippled with orange light, reflecting the sky. I stood up abruptly, taking in the brilliant scenery.
The cold-withered grass crunched and crumbled underfoot. True to its reputation, Green Lake Park was bustling with people even in the evening. I turned my back on the peaceful park and faced Ian.
“It’s embarrassing, let’s go quickly.”
“Hmm. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything if you answer just one thing.”
“What is it?”
I ended my curt, informal tone with a light honorific. His face, full of leisure, formed a deep curve. I forced myself to ignore the creeping unease as our eyes met.
“Did I steal even a tiny bit of Gyeoul’s heart?”
Ugh.
At Ian’s playful words, I stomped hard on his shoe. Dirt smudged his neat black shoe. Leaving him still waiting for my answer, I started to walk away.
〈Then you’re already a criminal. You’ve committed a serious crime, so you’ll have to repay me by staying by my side forever. That’s all I need.〉
A voice I had heard sometime in the past scattered in the air. It was a trace. Like a memory that naturally surfaces when you find an old object, memories were embedded in the sentence. And then it quickly faded again. As if that memory had never existed.
I felt a presence behind me. Ian, with his longer legs, quickly caught up, leaning his body against mine. As if it were an expression of familiarity.
“I’ll let it slide this time. There won’t be a next time.”
“Stop looking. You’re not an eraser. You’ll wear out.”
“That’s what happens when you rub something.”
As Ian spoke, he subtly rubbed his arm against mine. Because of the thick clothes, I couldn’t feel the gesture properly, but the rustling sound tickled my ear. I pushed him away as if telling him to get off, but Ian resisted, applying more force.
Losing in a situation like this didn’t suit my temperament. I put my full weight into leaning against him. Then, suddenly, Ian pulled his arm away and wrapped it around my tilting body. I blinked, nestled in his arms. What on earth was this…?
“So you don’t wear out.”
He said before I could even ask.
I turned my head and looked up at Ian. He wore a playful smile, holding my arm tightly before releasing his grip. My cheek touched his coat, which was permeated with cold air, and I snapped to attention. This bastard was teasing me.
“I’m your Hyung when you take away the title. Why do you keep subtly dropping honorifics?”
“Then you drop them too, Hyung.”
His audacity was beyond words.
“Never mind. I’ll pay for dinner tonight, Team leader.”
Even so, I took a step back first. It seemed like Ian would only enjoy it if I went any further. The saying that losing is winning fit the situation perfectly. As I suspected, Ian pouted as he pulled away.
We passed people grilling barbecue on the nearby lawn and headed towards Northeast Avenue. I vaguely remembered hearing that there was a delicious pizza place around here. I think Jamie had said that. Or was it Michael?
“If you keep doing that, the ducks on the lake will think you’re their friend and fly over.”
“Quack, quack.”
“I don’t raise pet ducks. Do ducks eat pizza? If they don’t, I’ll have to eat it alone.”
“Ian the duck eats well. He likes it.”
He quickly replied to my mumbling. He was strangely cute when he acted like this. I swallowed a laugh and quickened my pace. The place was quite popular, so we might have to wait in line if we were any later.
∗ ∗ ∗
How many times is this now?
I clutched the document that had been returned to me in my hand. The rustling, crumpling sound was drowned out in the somewhat noisy space. They were giving me a big middle finger and enjoying themselves, weren’t they?
I put the document down and pressed the Enter key on the keyboard hard with angry fingers. Re-review, re-review, request to withdraw draft, re-review… Wow, they had rejected it in so many different ways.
I would have felt humiliated but accepted it if Ian had done it. Because he’s the Team leader. If there was something wrong, it was only natural for him to tell me to rewrite it.
But wouldn’t you be angry if the only comment was, “The value information in the table on page 5 seems inaccurate, so please double-check, and the cooperation matter seems like it will take time”?
What’s worse, when I resubmitted it after determining that there was no problem, they would mumble, “Oh, I was wrong,” and process it. I had to recheck all the reference files for the re-review! Did they know how long that took?
“So they want to mess with me.”
I gritted my teeth. A hollow laugh escaped me.
This was workplace bullying. If it was a one-time thing, I would have let it go and just taken some revenge. But I would have to continue to receive cooperation from them in the future. Most of the items I was processing required the business status information managed by Michelle and David.
They would fail to provide information in a timely manner, and they would nitpick everything that was created by processing it. Because of that, even documents that had a generous deadline were now tight and choking me.
“Winter. Do you want a macaron?”
Michael, who had just returned to his seat next to me, showed me a box of macarons with a gentle smile. As if telling me to take one. I didn’t refuse and picked up a macaron that appeared to be strawberry flavored.
“Thank you. I’m always relying on you.”
“What are you saying? Is something not going well? Winter, your expression looks just like a bear.”
“Ah… really? I guess it’s because there’s something I want to tear up right now.”
“It’s not a person, is it?”
“…”
I answered his question with a smile. Of course, it was. I felt like I could tear Michelle and David to pieces like a bear right now. Damn racial discrimination.
They were kind to other white people. They were also quite kind to Ian, a third-generation Korean, as well as Michael, who was talking to me now. It was because Ian’s appearance didn’t show any Asian features. And the team members didn’t know that they were white supremacists.
Of course. Because no Asians had ever joined this team before.
“Is it their fault again this time?”
“You know it well, Michael. Your guess is correct.”
Fucking Americans! Another one just piled up in the document box. This rejection was from David. How original, the reason was, “There are mistakes. I’m disappointed that you’re making such basic mistakes.” That was it. Not a single word was written about where or how it was wrong.
A snicker escaped me, and I bit my lip. If I got angry here, I would lose the game. They already had a lot of prestige, and I was an outsider who had only been here for about a month. Their credibility was stronger than mine.
It was upsetting, but I could now repay them on my own.
“Did they make a mistake again this time? They’re not usually like that. At least they used to take care of their own work. I can’t understand why they keep making so many mistakes only on Winter’s documents.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to comfort me. I have a good plan.”
I wasn’t too angry at his words that subtly defended them. That’s why I had no choice but to solve it myself.
I hummed a tune and printed out the documents. I had requested 3 things from David and 2 things from Michelle. Since they had all been rejected, shouldn’t we go over the reasons together? If I couldn’t get approval in a timely manner, they would also be harmed.
“Then I’ll go to a meeting. Please forward my calls. You can do that for me, right, Michael?”
“Ah, of course. Trust me, Winter.”
I passed him as he answered in a flustered manner. My target was Michelle, who was leisurely drinking coffee over there. I had a duty to save that incompetent team member who was diligently eating snacks and just clicking the mouse.
The corners of my lips crept up.
“Michelle, shall we have a meeting? I got permission from the Team leader to use the conference room. Do you have any significant, substantial, and justifiable reasons why you can’t do it with me right now?”
I asked, gripping her chair tightly.