WNC 327

Ruben calmly asked about several aspects of swordplay.

As I answered one by one, keeping my gaze lowered to the table, the turbulent emotions in my heart gradually settled. Because Ruben had asked about Sword Arts with a serious expression, never once smiling, I too became deeply engrossed. Ruben’s questions were mostly things that Namgung martial artists, who were just learning the sword, often asked me, so they weren’t difficult.

Then Ruben asked.

“It certainly gets harder as we go further. …How did other people train?”

It felt as if a vital point had been struck, without my realizing it.

However, I couldn’t stop the explanation I had been steadily continuing. Suppressing the lump in my throat, I continued.

“…Originally, my family… Namgung’s martial artists. Since they learned the sword at a young age, it was common for them to undergo rigorous physical training… Even a child who couldn’t use aura would hang from a tree for half an hour, no, for an hour, as a daily routine.”

“Were there such big trees?”

“…In Huangshan.”

Ah. Finally, with a sigh, I straightened my body. I looked directly at Ruben.

I had thought the child was calm and gentle. But looking now, that wasn’t the case. It was just that I, being so anxious, had failed to read the child’s tension.

How could they not be curious? How long had they pondered when to bring up the topic and how to phrase it? How many days had they worried about me, fretting over it…

This young one is saving me again.

Elvin said that things don’t change with a few words. No, look at how the entire world is shaken. If a single word weren’t as precious and heavy as a thousand gold pieces, how could this be?

The child quickly extended a hand, and I took it. I wanted to lean on the hand that gripped mine so tightly, as if to anchor me to this land. Trying my best to compose my expression, I opened my mouth. But I couldn’t stop the tremor at the end of my voice.

“…The region where I was originally born is called Anhui.”

“Anhui?”

Their voice, murmuring the words as if not to forget, made me feel like crying.

“…It was near a high mountain called Huangshan, with peaks three times higher than Mount Eldos. Those who practiced martial arts easily climbed the mountains. It wasn’t difficult to find good timber, so they would procure suitable trees and set them up like this for training.”

“Did you do that too?”

“Yes. I did… I did too.”

I tried my best to answer every question Ruben had as faithfully as possible.

What Ruben was curious about was mostly stories from my childhood.

I was asked questions like, “Did you like sweets originally?” “Did you have close comrades?” “What were your siblings like?”

I answered that in my past life, sweets were expensive, so I couldn’t eat much; I had about five or six close comrades, but I was too busy with life to hang out often; I had no siblings, but I had many close cousins.

The only reason I didn’t break down in tears was simply that I was accustomed to enduring for a long time.

How could I not miss it?

How could I not remember it?

Looking into Ruben’s kind, dark eyes, I painted my past life. Many times.

But then, I also received affection I couldn’t have imagined in my past life. Many… many times.

I didn’t suppress the questions that welled up.

“Isn’t there something strange about me?”

“…What is?”

“I.”

I squeezed the child’s hand that held mine. I had lived my life thinking I was a strong man. But it wasn’t so. It was like the flesh of a fruit with a hard rind being softer inside. I was terribly afraid of the moment I would expose my tender inner self.

But, as with most things, I endured this moment too.

“I still feel like I’m… like I’m going mad.”

Ruben didn’t answer. They acted as if they knew I had more to say.

That’s right. I still had things I wanted to say.

“In my past life, my knowledge was shallow, so I never deeply contemplated the afterlife or anything like that. I was content if people in this life could live peacefully by saving the good and killing the wicked. I just ate when there was food, slept when I found a place to sleep, and lived and died haphazardly.”

“…”

“I’m still afraid that I’m having long dreams from time to time. I wonder if this dreamlike world is truly real, even now.”

“…”

“It doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. I…”

This continent was a world beyond anything I could have imagined.

It wasn’t just the language that was different. Here, people wrote on notebooks instead of bamboo slips. Instead of painting landscapes with ink washes, they hung colorful, detailed paintings on the walls. They wore pants that tightly gripped their thighs and skirts shaped like bells. People with hair and eye colors as vibrant as goblins laughed, cried, and chattered.

I know myself. My mind could never have concocted such things.

This world was incredibly difficult and challenging for me. Even when I nodded as if I understood everything, the hidden anxiety and the fear of the unfamiliar remained at its core. Even after living here for over ten years, it was still the same.

There was only one thing the same between my past and present lives.

I read the world with my sword. I did so in this life, just as I had in my past life. Thanks to that, I hadn’t gone mad and was still breathing. Thanks to that, I could attach myself to my kin, hold my friends in my mind, and hold this child in my heart.

When I couldn’t continue, Ruben thought for a moment and asked again.

“So you said you’d go to the Oasis without hesitation? Because you wanted to go back?”

“…”

Did I not hesitate? No. I was deeply saddened and hesitated.

It was because I thought I would lose everything I possessed. A new name, a new body, and the heart of this child by my side. But if these beautiful things weren’t all mine…

I gritted my teeth and shook my head slightly.

“…No, they are not. I was curious why I came here. Which god, for what reason, brought me to this land… I sought an explanation…”

“…”

“I wanted to hear a definitive answer, whether I could continue to live in this land.”

Ruben pulled my hand again. I pulled my hand away as they tried to kiss my fingertips, refusing.

The child spoke softly, as if reciting.

“When you said you remembered your past life, the thing I was most… afraid of was this.”

“…”

“What if you pushed me away because you liked someone else? That was the first thought that came to my mind.”

“…Yes?”

Was this a joke?

Ruben had a smiling face. But as the child looked into my eyes, their face was very serious.

Giving up on kissing my hand, the child led it to their own cheek. This time, I couldn’t refuse. Holding the child’s soft cheek, I listened. The palm of my hand was warm.

“What if there was someone you had loved for a lifetime, someone I could never win against?”

“…”

“I already like you this much.”

“…Ruben, I…”

“I liked you even when I didn’t know what kind of person you were.”

The same was true for me.

I still found Ruben difficult. Every prediction I made about what Ruben was thinking or would do was wrong. I didn’t love Ruben because I knew what kind of person they were. It was simply that by the time I came to my senses, they had already entered my heart.

The child turned their head and kissed my palm deeply.

This time, I couldn’t avoid it. I just watched. I wished that the child would swallow me whole like this.

“If there isn’t someone else who came before me, Mika.”

“…”

“I won’t give up. I hope you won’t either.”

How,

How could this child always be like this?

As they urged me for an answer, I nodded, saying “Alright.” Then, as it was time to sleep, I lay down on my designated bed.

I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but perhaps because I had exerted myself so much mentally, I fell asleep in an instant. I slept soundly without waking or dreaming, and woke up to a white dawn.

Birds sang. The hinges of the closed window were loose, and a cool breeze slipped through the gap.

When I got up, Ruben also got up.

The child greeted me with a bright smile.

“Good morning, Mika. Did you sleep well?”

“…Yes. Good morning.”

Yes.

It was a good morning.

The child, smiling faintly with the brilliant dawn light on their white cheek, filled my vision.

I watched, mesmerized, as they neatly brushed their hair and gathered it into a single bundle. Ruben, with their white fingertips, applied holy oil to braid their hair down their back. They carefully wrapped their head with a white, thin Felix-style headscarf, then put on an outer garment and adjusted their belt.

Throughout this, Ruben didn’t avoid my gaze. They simply continued to adorn themselves with fluid, gentle movements, as if to show me. Before finally putting on the conical hat they needed to wear, the child turned to me and gave a soft, smiling glance.

At that moment, it felt as if a tremendous lightning bolt had struck and split my body in two.

Simultaneously, I realized. I could no longer leave this child’s side, no matter what.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I was enchanted. It was so ecstatic that it was beyond compare with anything in the world.

❖ ❖ ❖

Tuesday, the fourth week of October. Five days had passed since we began our journey.

There were particularly many clouds today.

In the late afternoon, the path, not yet heated by the sun, was pleasantly warm, even at midday. As we got closer to the Shatun Desert, the weather grew hotter, and the villages became sparse, making me worry about the children tiring. I wished inwardly every day that it would be like this.

Marianne had been dozing off continuously since morning, no matter what she did during the night.

Just as I had become accustomed to conversing casually with the mercenaries, the mercenaries had also become accustomed to us. Now, the mercenaries knew that if it weren’t for Marianne, there would be no one to respond to their talk, so they either chatted amongst themselves occasionally or walked in silent contemplation.

Thanks to that, the journey was quiet. Only the sound of hooves tapping the ground.

Then, at one point, Marianne suddenly lifted her head.

Had she dreamt something? Seeing the child startled and looking around, I asked curiously.

“Why?”

“No, that Sword Master we captured.”

Hugh Benson, who had been walking a bit ahead, slowed his horse and approached.

“Yeah? Why her?”

“The magic I cast on her has broken.”

“The magic you cast, was it Tracking magic?”

“No, not that… It was the binding spell. It seems she’s escaped now.”

The wizard had said they could feel a backlash when the magic they cast broke. I looked in surprise, but Marianne seemed unharmed. Well, it was magic cast to be broken, so it wouldn’t hurt her. That was a relief.

Ruben, walking alongside me, added.

“Since I told them to feed her properly with escape in mind, there shouldn’t be any major trouble.”

“Yes. It seems she held out longer than expected. At least all the Sword Masters there are gone. I originally intended to pursue her immediately after her escape and look for Raul’s whereabouts, but I completely forgot. Well, it can’t be helped.”

Whether he truly forgot or was just being flippant,

Looking at Hugh Benson’s uneasy expression, a strange name suddenly came to mind.