4 – Chicken Game (5)

Chapter 4 (2)

As promised, Hyun-woo entered the duty-free area early. He left a text saying he would wait in the lounge and leaned back into a plush sofa. The greeting he had exchanged with Hyun-jeong, whose mood had not yet thawed, was awkward, but that wasn’t enough to ruin the day he had looked forward to. He kept smiling involuntarily, covering his face with his palm and tapping his feet lightly. Even the time spent waiting was happiness.

“This is really great….”

Though they had been in contact the day before, the anxiety that Hae-won might not come had kept him from smiling comfortably even in front of his parents, whom he hadn’t seen in a long time.

I should have dragged him along by force; I shouldn’t have left him at home that day, I should have kept him tied down at the hotel. Even after seeing Hae-won struggle to control his emotions, Hyun-woo couldn’t abandon his greed, spending the day driven by all sorts of impulses, but in the end, Hae-won had chosen him.

There was a mountain of things he wanted to do with Hae-won once they reached their destination. While planning them one by one, Hyun-woo suddenly checked the time and startled, standing up from the sofa. Why isn’t he here? Boarding time was imminent, yet there was no sign of Hae-won. Grabbing his bag and leaving the lounge, he tapped at his silent phone. He called, and then he sent a text. The expression that had been soaked in anticipation gradually stiffened. By the time the number of missed calls exceeded what he could count on two hands, a single text arrived.

[I’ll board first]

“…What?”

A text immediately followed, saying he had lost track of time while looking around the duty-free shops, but Hyun-woo couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. It couldn’t be. He came all this way; there’s no way. He bit his lip, trying to shake off the worry, but a lingering suspicion seeped into his hurried steps toward the boarding gate.

“Yes. I’ve boarded. Ah… you haven’t left yet? You should go before it’s too late.”

Tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear while lifting his bag onto the overhead bin, Hyun-woo glanced around at the remaining seats. Among the people organizing their luggage and settling in, Hae-won was nowhere to be seen. Unable to sit down, Hyun-woo gripped his phone tighter, a deep furrow forming between his brows.

“I have to turn it off now. I’ll contact you when I arrive.”

As soon as he ended the brief call with his father, he contacted Hae-won. As the ringing tone dragged on, he could no longer sit still and wait. Gritting his teeth until his jaw ached, Hyun-woo passed through the wide aisle and entered the economy section.

“Excuse me. Sorry.”

Pushing through people haphazardly organizing their luggage, he scanned the packed seats, but he couldn’t find that pale face. Even as passengers sat down one by one and fastened their belts, Hyun-woo continued to walk the aisle, scanning every single face.

“Sorry, just a moment….”

Spouting the words like a machine, he opened every closed restroom door, went to the seat Hae-won had reserved, and then returned to the economy section just in case. He searched endlessly for one person in the cramped space until a flight attendant gestured for him to take his seat, announcing that they were about to take off.

The vague suspicion was turning into certainty, but Hyun-woo simply couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. He had just seen him, hugged him, and even checked the ticket. There had been no sign of anger, and Hae-won hadn’t uttered a single word about not wanting to go, so why on earth? Returning to his seat, Hyun-woo urgently called over a flight attendant.

“I think my friend hasn’t boarded yet… could you check for me?”

While waiting for the attendant who told him to hold on for a moment, Hyun-woo called Hae-won again, only to hear the mechanical recording he had heard countless times. Soon, the attendant returned, her mouth moving, and the in-flight announcements and various noises blurred together in a chaotic mess.

Thank you for waiting, all passengers have boarded, your phone is turned off, could you check, to the voicemail, our plane will now take off.

Hyun-woo couldn’t say a word and stared blankly at the empty seat. Yoon Hae-won had not boarded the plane.

* * *

As the plane Hyun-woo was on—the one Hae-won should have been on—entered the runway, Tae-gyeom rushed into the departure hall with his phone pressed to his ear. Without even time to fix his disheveled hair, he ran toward the electronic board where flight numbers flickered and vanished. At some point, instead of throwing away the phone that was playing the recording saying the power was off, he gripped it so hard it nearly broke.

“That fucking bastard….”

Cursing words boiled over with rage. The flight Hyun-woo was supposed to take had already received the signal for takeoff, and Tae-gyeom lowered his head, clutching his forehead, which felt like it was about to explode from the complexity of his thoughts.

He had stayed home all day, not moving an inch, not knowing when Yoon Hae-won might call. He ignored all the messages from his classmates telling him to come out for drinks. He practiced apologizing to make it sound sincere, but eventually gave up because it was too difficult to say. The only thing he could promise was an attitude that would be slightly better than before. Reducing the swearing, or refining his prickly way of speaking. He couldn’t be certain, but he figured that as they met, somehow… But…

“Ha….”

A hollow laugh escaped him. He had suspected there was something going on between the two. He thought the guy would sort himself out, but he never imagined he’d actually take him away. Joo Hyun-woo, who had been taken away completely without showing a single hint; Yoon Hae-won, who left an ambiguous reaction as if he might fall for it, only to stab him in the back and follow. The disgusting imagination of the two of them fooling around dyed his vision a vivid red. Rather than an imagination, it was a playback of a memory.

Hae-won’s thin back, arching as he moved atop Joo Hyun-woo on the sofa, shattered, and pained groans drowned out all the surrounding noise. When their eyes met—eyes pooled with tears—the version of himself in the memory had looked away with indifference, but the manipulated imagination was different. The Yoon Hae-won whose eyes met his whispered softly.

If only you hadn’t said it. Even if you had.

Tae-gyeom covered his mouth with his hand, hiding a surging sob. He felt like he was going crazy. His fists clenched so hard the veins popped, wanting to kick and throw everything away. He lost him because he couldn’t hold back one word? Just one word? Right in front of him?

“Tae-gyeom? Tae-gyeom, you’re here!”

His sharp, cold eyes slowly looked up. Starting with a joyful greeting about how they happened to meet here, Hyun-woo’s parents, wearing broad smiles, patted his shoulder with worried expressions, saying they had heard the news. Tae-gyeom, brushing his hand over his forehead where a bandage was attached, gave a slight nod.

“Did you come to see Hyun-woo off? Oh dear. He’s already departed. You should have come a bit earlier.”

Hyun-woo’s mother, unaware that the relationship between the two was no longer the same, patted his back. Tae-gyeom swallowed the words saying he didn’t give a damn about that bastard and forced himself to make eye contact. When he spoke, a rough voice flowed out.

“Have you seen Yoon Hae-won?”

“Hae-won? Was Hae-won here too?”

Hyun-woo’s mother’s eyes widened as she shook her head, saying she hadn’t seen him. At the same time, Hyun-jeong, who had been standing a step away, stiffened. Closing the distance in an instant, Hyun-jeong grabbed Tae-gyeom’s arm and pulled him.

“Hae-won came? Here?”

The low, whispering voice carried a sense of urgency, as if something was bothering him. The family of Joo Hyun-woo looked on with bewildered faces, and Hyun-jeong showed a strange reaction. Quickly realizing this was Joo Hyun-woo’s solo act, Tae-gyeom let out a scoff of a laugh.

That fox-like bastard. He ground his teeth. He looked down at Hyun-jeong with a displeased gaze. Even that bloodline was an eyesore; no kind words came out.

“I think that bastard went in too.”

“…The two of them went together? Is that what you’re saying?”

Tae-gyeom had neither the heart nor the leisure to care about the shocked Hyun-jeong.

“If you don’t know anything, let go—”

As Tae-gyeom tried to pull his arm from Hyun-jeong’s tight grip, he spotted a familiar figure passing by in the distance and shut his mouth. Narrowing his eyes, his vision focused, and the lower half of the man’s face, wearing a hat pulled low, became clearer. The rounded tip of the nose and the split end of the lip. Unconsciously shaking off Hyun-jeong’s arm, Tae-gyeom ran forward without looking back, despite the call from behind.

He bumped shoulders with passersby and tripped over a suitcase. People spreading suitcases on the floor to organize luggage, people standing in long lines for check-in, people holding travel agency flags. Through them, the thin man slipped away like smoke. Even as he pushed through people blocking his path, cursing under his breath, the man did not easily let himself be caught and only grew further away as time passed.

“Yoon Hae-won!”

The man, who was passing by the airline counter with a suitcase, slowly lifted his head. The distance was still far. A deep shadow beneath the brim of the black hat obscured his face. Without any sign of surprise or recognition, the man turned his head back and disappeared behind a partition.

Tae-gyeom couldn’t be certain. He might have seen wrong. If he actually grabbed the shoulder and turned him around, it might have been a complete stranger. But the reason he couldn’t stop his legs was because of the emotions he had buried deep down, refusing to acknowledge them.

Gasping for breath, Tae-gyeom stepped onto the spot where the man had stood. Amidst the noisy clamor and the sound of rolling wheels, the clock that had stopped for a moment began to tick again, and the man had already vanished.

I was wrong. I’m sorry.

The words he had practiced countless times and eventually given up on lingered on the tip of his tongue, but the owner of those sentences was gone.

* * *

At the moment the plane that had raced down the runway completely took off, and the man in the hat disappeared into the crowd, Seo Hae-young, leaning against the door, stared intently into the newly renovated room. It was a room that received plenty of sunlight, but the space that had been left empty for lack of use had been filled densely over the past few days.

The space where new furniture had been placed was soon to become someone’s room. The texture of the rug covering the floor felt soft at a glance, and the beanbag placed upon it was bought for the person who always sat on the floor. The plush and lovely-looking room had no desk, no chair, and no bed. All it had were distractions to make one lose their mind. The space, equipped with everything except the furniture needed for contemplation, was exactly to Seo Hae-young’s liking.

Carrying the heavy golf bag that had previously been the owner of this room, Seo Hae-young locked the door and walked down the stairs connecting to the living room with light steps. At the bottom of the stairs, he opened the storage door and threw in the now-useless golf bag. He slammed shut the storage door where everything he had once been interested in lay breathless under a layer of dust.

Arriving in front of Hae-won’s house, a place Hae-won would now never return to, Seo Hae-young checked the time as he got out of the car. As it approached 9 o’clock, a faint smile bloomed on his lips at the thought of Hae-won waiting in the one-room apartment that could hardly be called a house.

He inserted the key into the scratched keyhole of the hallway that was always dirty. He turned it skillfully once, but contrary to expectations, the lock clicked shut. He stared blankly at the inserted key, and when he turned it again, the rusted door opened with a creak. The inside of the house was as dark as the storage under the stairs.

“Hae-won.”

No answer came to the call. Entering with his shoes still on, Seo Hae-young turned on the light and looked around. The house, which was said to be almost finished being organized, was excessively empty. Every single drawer had been pulled out, and the closet door, which had always been kept closed, was wide open, revealing the few pieces of clothing inside. It looked as if a thief had broken in. Seo Hae-young’s eyes darted around.

“Yoon Hae-won.”

Again, there was no answer. Wondering where he had crawled off to this time, he immediately called, but the recording saying the power was off returned. After hanging up and slowly scanning the living room, a low table caught Seo Hae-young’s eye. On the old desk that had miraculously not broken for ten years, the laptop he had left here once was placed neatly. His head tilted crookedly.

His mood plummeting in an instant, Seo Hae-young kicked the low table. With a loud noise, the laptop flew, hit the wall, and rolled across the floor.

“Hae-won. Come out quickly.”

The low voice echoed hollowly through the narrow house. The house was deathly silent, without even the noise of the refrigerator running. Standing still and looking at the overturned laptop, Seo Hae-young moved his feet.

Yoon Hae-won was not in the bathroom, not on the veranda, and not inside the washing machine. He pulled out the drawers one by one, pouring out and rummaging through the contents. The closet, the empty trash can, the inside of the refrigerator—he searched every single place where something could be stored. The account book he had clung to like a treasure was gone, the clothes he wore often were gone, his wallet, phone, shoes. Everything was gone.

Less than an hour later, Seo Hae-young left the house, which had become a disaster zone, and knocked on the neighbor’s door. Without answering the question “Who is it?”, he continued to knock at a steady pace. After a moment of silence inside the house, the door opened a crack with the sound of grumbling.

“Who…!”

As soon as the door opened, Seo Hae-young pushed his hand through the gap and forced it wide open. The neighbor, who had been holding the handle, was pulled out with a startled “Uh, uh,” and looked up with bewildered eyes. A rage that couldn’t even be compared to the day he had grabbed Yoon Hae-won in the hallway clouded his mind in a blur. With a vague smile, Seo Hae-young looked down at the wrinkled face and pointed toward Hae-won’s house.

“I’m looking for the person next door.”

“Ah. Hae, Hae-won… Hae-won, he….”

The man’s eyes showed a look of distress as he recognized Seo Hae-young, who had barged in like a debt collector. However, before long, the whereabouts of Yoon Hae-won stumbled out of the man’s mouth, whose corners of the lips had sagged with age.

“Around the afternoon, I think, he was carrying a large suitcase. I didn’t get to ask where he was going. I heard from the landlord that he said he’d be moving out a while ago, but it didn’t seem to end on good terms… His father, you see, borrowed some money from the landlord.”

Staring silently at the man who was sweating profusely despite the cool night breeze, Seo Hae-young turned away without even a word of thanks. He got into the car and looked through the places Hae-won might go, one by one. In order: the family home, Hyun-jeong’s shop, his own home where he had prepared a beautiful room. And back to the shabby house of Yoon Hae-won. Not there, not there, not there, and not there. He was nowhere.

Waiting in Hae-won’s chaotic house until dawn broke, Seo Hae-young finally let out a hollow laugh.

Yoon Hae-won had disappeared.

Suddenly, without a trace, without a final goodbye, leaving behind only the words that he missed him.

* * *

Falling raindrops tapped against the car window. Hae-won, entrusting his body to the back seat of the airport bus running with the lights off, traced the trajectory of a disappearing raindrop with his index finger. The drizzle that had been falling since he descended to the arrival hall gradually grew heavier as the night deepened.

When the bus hit the highway, Hae-won searched his pocket and took out the cash he had stuffed inside, counting it one by one. Twenty fifty-thousand won bills. It wasn’t a particularly large amount. But Hae-won decided to be satisfied with this. Combined with the amount to be refunded, it was enough to somehow survive for a few months. His mouth tasted bitter when he thought of the cancellation fees, but in the end, it was slightly more than the security deposit, and since it wasn’t his money to begin with, it served as a sort of consolation.

He had resented the landlord so much, but the result wasn’t bad. So, he whispered to himself incessantly that it was a good thing, that everything would be fine. So that the Seo Hae-young of the past wouldn’t suddenly ambush his reality, he didn’t rest for a moment.

Even though fatigue washed over him because he hadn’t slept properly the previous night, he couldn’t close his eyes. The reason was a clinging sense of fear and anxiety. Rubbing his stinging eyes, he gripped the banknotes filling his hand. It’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.

The bus, which had run without stopping for about four hours, came to a halt. Hae-won mixed in with the passengers pouring out and retrieved his suitcase. The unfamiliar terminal, arriving after midnight, felt like a dead city at a glance, with rows of closed shops.

Where should he go? Sitting on a chair in the middle of the dark terminal, he watched the trajectories left behind by other people. The sound of rolling suitcase wheels, the greetings exchanged with waiting families, the two legs stretching out boldly toward a fixed destination.

In the silent terminal where everyone had departed, Hae-won rose from the chair, pulled his suitcase, and stepped out into the rainy night street.

He planned to stay for just one day before leaving. With no reason to stay in a nice accommodation, he wandered through the alleys and stepped into a shabby motel he discovered. As he paid the prepaid fee and climbed the stairs, a sudden memory of a summer day made his breath hitch.

“Ugh….”

He beat his chest, which felt suffocatingly tight in front of the door. It’s all in the past. All of it. Repeating this to himself, he let out a long sigh and entered the room. It was a room narrower and older than the one back then, but Hae-won took off his hat without complaint and lay his body on the floor. As he had wished, he had thrown everything away, but strangely, he felt neither triumphant nor relieved. He was simply lethargic. He only wished he could either melt away or evaporate just like this.

Can I really live well without Seo Hae-young? Endless doubt amplified his anxiety.

“It’ll be okay…. It will.”

He muttered as if brainwashing himself, but there was no conviction in his words. He wanted to drink. He wanted to be hazily drunk and forget everything—the doubt, the anxiety, and Seo Hae-young. The thought occurred to him suddenly, but he couldn’t move a single finger. His heavy eyelids fluttered shut.

“Are you sleepy right now, Hae-won?”

The moment his eyes snapped open, a fist flew toward him. A dull ringing echoed in his skull, followed by a searing heat across the bridge of his nose. As he hurriedly covered his face with his palm, droplets of blood splattered from his nose, soaking his clothes. His mind went blank. He stared at the blood pooling in his palm, gasped for air, and only after retreating into the corner of the room did the blurred silhouette come into focus.

Seo Hae-young was crouching in front of him, laughing. Beyond the open door, Joo Hyun-woo and Go Tae-gyeom were entering. His limbs froze. An unbelievable sight reflected in his bloodshot eyes. No words came out. No, he had definitely opened his mouth, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. As he frantically clawed at his throat with blood-stained hands, Tae-gyeom, who had already approached, flicked his head with a fingertip. It wasn’t a light touch. Every time the finger hit his forehead, the back of his head slammed against the wall, but he couldn’t get the words “stop it” out.

“You piece of shit, do you not understand when I speak nicely?”

“Hae-won, I told you I was sorry.”

A sobbing sound boiled up in his throat. Hyun-woo, who had shifted positions before he knew it, shoved his hand into Hae-won’s hair. The strands tangled between his fingers were violently yanked in an instant. Gasping in terror, Hae-won reached for the wrist, only to be slammed down onto the floor of the room where no bedding had been laid out. The moment he tried to push his upper body up to stand, he was kicked in the stomach.

As the foot left his upper abdomen, his empty stomach churned as if everything were refluxing. A pained groan escaped through his clashing teeth. As his body curled up and writhed, several more kicks followed. His back, waist, stomach, and head could not escape the fierce legs.

“Do you think you can live on your own? Really?”

His vision turned stark white. Only a hollow “Ah…” echoed from his mouth.

“I told him I’d stop when I get bored, but he’s fucking playing hard to get.”

“Strip him first.”

Unkind hands tore away his rain-soaked clothes as if ripping through fabric. The moment he tried to push them away with weakened hands, his head was slammed repeatedly against the floor. Hae-won was terrified. An extreme fear shackled his mind. He felt as though these three would kill him here today. He crawled across the slippery floor toward the corner, but his hair was grabbed and he was dragged back to the center of the room and thrown down, his arms tied behind his back.

Stop it. Stop it. He shook his head and spoke, but only the voices of the three men reached his ears. It was strange. Even as tears clung to his eyelashes and fell, he felt no particular sensation. He was hazy, as if drunk. Tae-gyeom, who slapped the back of the struggling, sobbing Hae-won’s head, murmured in a low voice.

“Stay still. Unless you want to die.”

“Look at this. I’ve stretched him out a lot.”

A finger pushed into his dry hole without warning. An index finger, curved like a hook, pressed against the inner wall and pulled upward with force. Gasping as if the hole were about to tear, Hae-won lifted his hips, prompting bursts of laughter from all sides.

“Hae-won’s become a total slut….”

“Who wants to go first? Let’s do it once he’s loosened up a bit.”

Someone grabbed and spread the cheeks of his buttocks and spat into the gasping hole. Hae-won, who had been supporting his weight with his forehead, let out a piercing scream as a penis suddenly split his flesh and entered, making him feel as if his body were being torn in two.

Then, a large palm clamped over his mouth. The moment he bit the palm stained with nosebleed, he was slapped across the cheek. His aching nose was pinched between two fingers, and a thick penis was shoved into his open mouth. A fishy taste mixed with blood seeped into every part of his tongue’s membrane. From the smooth glans to the veiny shaft, it slid deep into his throat all at once without giving him time.

“Gah, g-ghk…! Ugh…!”

“Look at his face. Is he crying? Why are you crying?”

The hand gripping his waist tightened as if to crush all his internal organs. With a loud thwack, the penis slammed in, aggressively stirring the inner walls from the start. He could vividly feel the inner walls curling around the penis as it entered and tightening as it withdrew, sending shivers racing through his trembling thighs.

Every time the person who had shoved their penis into his back hole thrust their hips, his tied body swayed forward. Simultaneously, the penis pressing down his tongue slammed deep into his throat. Large hands, too powerful to escape, fixed his head and buried deep into his groin. Even as he made choking sounds, the penis that tore through the corners of his mouth did not withdraw.

“Hae-won, does it feel good? Huh?”

“This brat fucking loves dicks. If you’d told me sooner, I would’ve done this for him long ago.”

Streaming tears soaked his cheeks and the palm of someone’s hand. The pain was faint, and the pleasure was strangely maximized. His vision blurred, and he couldn’t tell who was putting a penis in his mouth, who was shoving one into his back hole, or who was rubbing a glans against his earlobe. His only role was to be pierced from front to back and shaken.

“Ugh, ugh, ngh….”

“You love it. You fucking love it like this, don’t you? You’re hard, you piece of shit….”

Thump, thump. Every time a penis slammed in, his erect member swayed between his legs. Tears continued to flow, yet he found himself laughing. Even without being touched, the distant pleasure raced up his waist whenever his erect penis, dripping clear fluid, brushed against the floor. He was beaten, tied, forced to take penises in his mouth and hole, and he became erect. The heaviness of the groin hitting his buttocks and the hole stretched to its limit were all terribly wonderful. Especially when the slippery glans brushed against the deepest part, his tense toes twitched and pleasure-soaked moans escaped.

“He used to be tight. It’s a bit of a shame. Right?”

How long did the sound of flesh hitting flesh continue? A whispering voice descended upon his ear, and his hair was yanked upward. The penis filling his throat withdrew, leaving a string of thick saliva. His unfocused eyes landed on the sodden floor, but he wasn’t actually seeing anything.

“Let’s put one more in. Hey, hold him.”

“Haa…. Uh….”

His waist was grabbed and he was pulled on top of someone’s body. No sooner had he shuddered at the penis digging into and ravaging his internals than his upper body was pushed down. Another one attached to his back. Before he could even think what is this, a glans began to force its way into the already full hole, stretching it further. Hae-won opened his mouth, saliva trailing, and shook his head, stammering out a refusal.

Ah, no…. It’ll tear…. Please, please stop….

“Shut him up. He’s being noisy….”

“If you keep resisting, I’ll rip everything out.”

His shoulders, waist, and buttocks were gripped by brutal hands, crushing his flesh. As he screamed for them to stop, another penis was shoved into his mouth, and rip, rip. The sound of flesh tearing echoed louder than anything in his ears. His trembling body stiffened violently. His eyes and mouth flew wide open. An earlobe stained with semen was sucked, and a chilling voice crawled into his eardrums while he remained frozen.

“It tore, Hae-won. It’s so tight, it’s fucking great….”

“Ggh, ngh…!”

“Once we’re done, this brat will be useless.”

With a light laugh, his body jolted. His tied hands twisted grotesquely. The penis thrusting from below and the one pushing from behind rubbed against each other within inner walls that could stretch no further. His stomach and his mind became a chaotic mess. Whenever he tried to scream, the penis in his mouth hit his uvula and pushed deep into his throat, blocking the sound from escaping. He was on the verge of suffocating from the pressure that felt as if it would destroy his insides.

“We can just throw him away. Who’s going to look for him if he disappears?”

“He’s not needed anymore anyway. He’s all stretched out….”

Two penis-sized shafts were shoved deep into the torn hole. When one withdrew, another stabbed deep, and there were times when both pieces of flesh pushed in simultaneously. Because of the penis blocking his airway, his face turned bright red and his moist eyelids trembled.

“Lee Hee-sung? He can’t do stuff like this.”

“He’s doing it because it’s Yoon Hae-won. That dickless bastard….”

“He gets too cocky because we’re too nice to him.”

Words that clawed at his heart and hands that yanked his hair. Whenever he felt himself losing his mind, a palm slapped his cheek and a fist hit his stomach, clearly outlining the shape of the penis. The semen from the four of them dripping between his legs collapsed his ability to think. It broke him down endlessly.

“Ngh, kh-hup, ugh… uuu….”

“If you grab this, you can feel it, right?”

“K-ghk…!”

Two hands began to strangle his neck. As he was choked with a penis still filling his throat, he became sticky and wet from head to toe. No matter how much he twisted his shoulders, he couldn’t escape the filthy sound of breathing.

Hae-won could not resist in the slightest and helplessly gave every hole in his body to the three men. Every hole that could take a penis was filled. He gasped for air, choking. The eyes he had barely kept open rolled back. He could see nothing. Instead, a familiar scent tickled the tip of his nose, and a familiar voice reached his ear. It was a voice that was uncharacteristically kind.

“Hae-won. Want to play hide-and-seek?”

“Ack, haa, ugh….”

In the black void of his vision, a face illuminated by a flashing screen looked back, and red lips parted slightly. Words he had heard once before stabbed into his ringing eardrums like a needle.

“If you get caught, you die.”

A scream like a death rattle erupted. Waking up drenched in sweat, Hae-won rolled on the floor, dry-heaving. Even as thick saliva trailed, he couldn’t stop retching. As soon as the retching stopped, a seizure followed, screaming and harming himself.

The agonizing time did not subside for a long while. Blocking his ringing ears with the sound of running water, Hae-won, huddled in the corner, slowly lifted his tear-filled eyes to look around the room. A scattered suitcase and a hat. And a strange room where no one was present and no sound could be heard. He opened his trembling lips and called out cautiously.

“Hae-young…?”

There was no answer. Only then did his distant consciousness slowly return. A laugh he hated leaked through his distorted lips. Right. He had thrown everything away and run, and the three of them didn’t know where he was. Perhaps they wouldn’t even look for him.

As that thought occurred to him, his exhausted body slumped. As he pushed back his sweat-soaked bangs, his slumped body froze at a single phrase that suddenly came to mind.

If you get caught, you die.

Was it really a dream? It had been too vivid. The penis tearing through the folds and those disgusting voices had been so vivid.

In fact, they might have actually come. They might come again. If he had reported his card as lost, it would be a matter of moments for them to catch him since he had only taken one bus. A sudden surge of anxiety made the back of his neck tighten.

Unable to act rationally, Hae-won stripped off his clinging clothes and entered the bathroom. His only thought was to wash and leave this place. As he held the rusty showerhead and adjusted the water temperature, Hae-won’s haggard gaze fell between his legs.

“Ah….”

The sound of falling water buzzed in his ears. As he touched his groin with cold hands, sticky semen came off. His knees buckled and he collapsed, staring in horror at the semen-stained space between his legs before grabbing the showerhead. He immediately struck his thigh with the hard piece of metal.

“No, no…. No, fuck, don’t do this….”

His eyes distorted miserably. Every time he struck his thigh hard, water splashed in all directions.

“Why, why is this happening…. Why are you doing this to me, seriously….”

The reddened skin turned bruised purple, the small bathroom became a flood, and until his arms grew numb, Hae-won did not stop hitting his thighs. This made no sense. While undergoing such disgusting acts, while being beaten like that, how could he….

Wait. Was it a dream? What if they really had come?

Dreams and reality began to blur. He became confused about where the dream ended and reality began. Turning his trembling hand behind him, Hae-won felt his smooth perineum and pushed a finger into the open hole.

“Ah….”

It was loose. It felt as if it had accepted two, but seeing as it didn’t hurt, maybe it hadn’t, or maybe it had always been this way. He didn’t know. As he felt the hole that the three of them had used and stirred to their heart’s content, he collapsed onto the tiles where the water from the showerhead was pooling. He was going crazy. Even with his clouded mind, he knew that much.

“What do I do, what do I do….”

In Hae-won’s tangled mind, where there was no room for logic, an image flashed of taking out his brain and soaking it in strong detergent water. He felt that if he washed it thoroughly and put it back in, the fucked-up memories and dirty habits would be washed away. And how wonderful it would be if the memories he shared with Seo Hae-young were washed away as well.

* * *

After scrubbing his skin with cold water until it felt raw, Hae-won opened his suitcase with trembling hands. He changed into new clothes, put on a different hat, and wore the backpack where he had packed his belongings. Leaving behind the clothes, hat, and suitcase he had arrived with, he hurriedly left the room. As he passed the counter where the owner had their back turned and stepped outside, the bluish dawn was breaking.

After winding through alleyways covered in a light mist, Hae-won arrived at the terminal and caught the earliest departing express bus. He didn’t look closely at where it was going. Upon arriving at an unfamiliar place, he took a village bus and got off at a suitable spot. And then he moved, moved, and moved again.

If you get caught, you die.

Whenever he tried to stay in one place for even a moment, Seo Hae-young’s voice urged him to flee.

When he was hungry, he entered an open restaurant and ate a few spoonfuls; when he was sleepy, he sought out a shabby lodging. Of course, “sleep” consisted of nothing more than dozing off with his head against a wall. Whenever he woke up from a brief nap, he changed into clothes bought from a nearby store every single day and threw away the clothes he had worn once. And then he moved, moved, and moved again.

Through the bus window, he saw the winter sea, then towering mountains, then a wide river. Hae-won looked at the vast scenery with vacant eyes, feeling no emotion. He couldn’t feel any common emotions like it’s pretty, it’s cool, I want to go there, it’s delicious, I want to eat it again, it’s cold, I’m lonely, I’m happy. He pressed his chest because he felt nothing, but his heart was as silent as if it were broken. Even when taxi drivers or people sitting next to him spoke, he often failed to answer in time.

It’s pretty, right? I come here often to see this.

Hae-won couldn’t answer the nameless people who looked at the scenery with eyes full of memories and affection. Because he felt nothing. He would hesitate, not knowing what to say, and miss the timing to respond. And then he moved, moved, and moved again.

In that way, he wandered aimlessly and without a plan for a week. A powered-off phone, a ledger, a single set of clothes, the watch Tae-gyeom had given him, and a somewhat large amount of cash. Carrying the backpack with his meager belongings, he twisted his route and entered a terminal.

Where should I go this time? As he looked up at the bus departure schedule searching for the fastest bus, a man walking ahead suddenly looked back. Because the movement was somewhat exaggerated, his vacant gaze followed the man. Meeting the eyes of the man who was glancing at him, Hae-won took a step back, seeing the man’s eyes widen. The man, wearing a loose hoodie, raised his eyebrows as if he knew him and put on a glad expression.

“Oh, hey…!”

It was a stranger. Hae-won, who happened not to be wearing a hat, stumbled back and tried to leave the terminal, but the man strode forward and thrust his face close. Seeing Hae-won’s highly guarded expression, the man paused to choose his words and then smiled broadly. A clear smile appeared on his youthful face. The dimples that dipped like scars under his eyes were distinct. He felt as if he had seen those dimples somewhere before, but no specific person came to mind.

“I’m that…. The convenience store! We worked part-time together.”

Hae-won narrowed his eyes and stared blankly at the man. Convenience store? Searching through his jumbled memories for the young man in front of him, a single moment surfaced.

A blue vest. The smell of food filling the store even with the air conditioner on full blast. A blue vest fidgeting and playing with his fingers while Hae-won was clutching the toilet and vomiting. The man, unable to read Hae-won’s expression, thought his explanation was insufficient and quickly added, circling his finger.

“Ah, not exactly together. In shifts.”

And the kid who was late almost every single day. It was that boy who, whenever he rushed into the store, would offer an apology with an awkward smile.

The lazy part-timer—that is, Jang Seung-wan—was unique. He acted with a level of friendliness that made the fact that they had only worked at the same convenience store for a few months and had barely spoken irrelevant. To the point where Hae-won found himself searching his memories, wondering if they had actually been close before.

Name, age, and even the middle and high schools he had graduated from; Seung-wan had stripped away Hae-won’s personal details in the blink of an eye. It was like a swollen valley stream rushing between steep cliffs. The relentless barrage of questions and that bright, innocent face swept away Hae-won, who was barely holding his ground without any footing.

“Can I just call you Hyung?”

It had been so long since someone had shown the consideration of naturally shifting the topic of conversation so that Hae-won didn’t have to answer questions like why he was here, and so, Hae-won had no choice but to nod. After eating lunch with Seung-wan, who said he hadn’t eaten, and accidentally slipping into casual speech, Hae-won wore an unnatural smile by the time they returned to the ticket office. It wasn’t a situation where he could smile comfortably, but Seung-wan’s chatter was amusing, resulting in an awkward expression.

Seung-wan, who said he was just visiting his hometown for a bit, had already purchased a ticket to Seoul, yet he stood beside Hae-won and looked up at the bus timetable.

“Where are you going now, Hyung?”

“I… don’t really know.”

The bus schedules for various destinations across the country were a dizzying blur. Normally, he would have intended to take the first bus that arrived. If Seung-wan hadn’t suddenly appeared, and if the sudden void of an undecided destination hadn’t felt so overwhelming.

“Let’s go together. There’s nothing to see around here.”

“Ah…”

Seung-wan’s voice stirred a commotion in Hae-won’s mind, which had been empty for a while. He grew anxious every time a strange hand lightly tugged at the shortened straps of his backpack. While unconsciously picking at a hangnail, Hae-won heard whispering voices. Two similar voices were engaged in a fierce battle. It was a fantasy.

He won’t look for me anyway. But I spent his money as I pleased? How much does that even matter to Seo Hae-young. He’ll be looking for me because he’s angry. This time he’ll really kill me. No, he probably doesn’t even feel that. If I’m going to hide, wouldn’t a crowded place be better? No, I have to stay as far away as possible. Even if he looks, I already took a bus to the countryside. He’ll think I went there. And I took a lot of buses and taxis. Go back. Everything is unfamiliar. It’s hard. He won’t find me. No. He won’t even look. No. There are plenty of people to replace me…

“…Hae-won Hyung?”

Hae-won’s heart plummeted. He covered his lips with his palm, where his fantasies were occasionally leaking out. Seung-wan’s expression looked awkward. Recalling his current state, which he had momentarily forgotten, Hae-won hesitated and turned around. I must look strange. He was sick of the feeling of other people’s eyes turning toward him with discomfort. He wanted to be satisfied with just momentarily soothing his loneliness. As he turned, a warm hand gently gripped his left shoulder. Seung-wan’s voice was plain.

“If you have nowhere to go…”

The words that followed contained a kind invitation. Hae-won looked at Seung-wan with vacant eyes. A faint dimple appeared once more on the bright face of the twenty-year-old. The goodwill and kindness of a stranger. These were things that should be doubted. However, Hae-won’s mind was too exhausted to do so.

Following Seung-wan into a familiar area, Hae-won kept his gaze fixed on the ground and shrunk inward from that moment on. I shouldn’t be here, why am I following someone I don’t even know, I shouldn’t do this. Though numerous worries and anxieties slowed his pace, they couldn’t stop him from reaching the destination.

In a sparsely populated residential area, after descending a steep set of stairs plastered with cement, there was a single front door hanging precariously on a similar cement wall. It looked like a warehouse. With an awkward smile, Seung-wan entered the passcode and lowered the cover.

“Ah, damn… it’s a bit dirty. Just a second!”

As soon as they entered the entryway, Seung-wan hurriedly cleared away scattered clothes to make a path. Beyond him, Hae-won scanned the stranger’s space. It was a small house. As is typical for a semi-basement that doesn’t get any sunlight, it was somewhat damp and gloomy. It wasn’t much different from the house he used to live in. Seung-wan muttered as he quickly tidied the room as if embarrassed.

“I lived in an even worse place in that neighborhood, so Hyung might find it a bit uncomfortable…”

Hae-won, who didn’t hear those words, waited silently, scuffing the floor—which was covered in white powder—with his sneakers. After spending about five minutes tidying the room, Seung-wan gestured for him to enter. Engraving the resolve in his mind to soothe his loneliness for just a few days and then leave, Hae-won stepped inside cautiously.

While Seung-wan was clearing away clothes haphazardly hanging on a small drying rack, Hae-won looked around the areas that weren’t visible from the entrance. Unlike his own home, there was a single mattress occupying the space, a kitchen with few utensils, and a bathroom where a small washing machine was located.

“Make yourself at home. I’m barely here during the day.”

The voice reached him while he was staring down at the sink, which was stained with limescale from lack of cleaning. Hae-won gripped the straps of the bag he hadn’t yet put down. He was the one who had followed him, but Seung-wan was the one who had opened his home first. Could there be kindness that demanded no reward? Kindness bestowed upon a stranger like an act of charity. He didn’t know him well, but he hoped that was the case with Seung-wan. When he lifted his lowered head to face the cloudy mirror, a pale man met his eyes.

His hair had grown quite long without him noticing. He pinched the bangs that poked his eyes with two fingers and twisted the light-colored hair. It was a color that stood out wherever he went. Stepping back, Hae-won hesitantly approached Seung-wan, who was asking where things were and if he needed anything else.

“Is there… a hair salon around here?”

Taking off his bag and hugging it to his chest, Hae-won looked at Seung-wan, who was hanging clothes on a rack. With his back to a mountain of unorganized clothes, Seung-wan’s eyes widened.

“You want to get a haircut?”

“No, just…”

“They’re probably all closed now. What are you planning to do?”

“Ah…”

He wanted to do it since it had come to mind, and though he knew he was being shameless, the words came out. When he answered in a small voice, Seung-wan’s expression brightened instantly.

“Want me to help? I’ve done a lot of my friends’ hair!”

Before he could say it was okay, Seung-wan told him to rest for a bit and dashed out of the house. Left alone in someone else’s space, Hae-won couldn’t sit comfortably or wander around; he just stood still in front of the door. Until the homeowner returned, bringing in the chilly early winter wind.

Hae-won ended up letting a younger boy, who had known his name for less than a day, do his hair while sitting on a flyer in the middle of the night. The plastic wrap around his neck was bothersome, and as he tugged at it, the back of the wrap lifted. Startled by an elbow poking his back, telling him to stop, he quickly straightened his waist. He still felt uncomfortable with excessive contact.

Having swept back the hair that poked his eyes, Hae-won looked into the small mirror standing on the desk. The hair, dyed a deep black, felt unfamiliar, so he quickly looked away.

“I thought you’d dyed it before. Have you tried anything else? It always seemed similar.”

Seung-wan’s touch, applying the dye while combing from the scalp, induced sleepiness. Blinking eyes clouded by drowsiness, Hae-won struggled to understand the question.

Whether he had tried other styles. Well… as far as he could remember, he hadn’t. Whenever it felt quite long, Seo Hae-young would take him to a place he knew, and for several years, it was always cut in the same shape and length. He never tried other styles. Seo Hae-young liked it that way.

When he shook his head slightly, a scolding followed, telling him not to move. Freezing in place, Hae-won obediently left his hair in Seung-wan’s hands. Fiddling with the ends of the hair stained with black dye, Seung-wan let out a sigh-filled lament.

“I don’t know if you’ll like what I’ve done.”

“…Eh?”

“You probably go to a nice salon, Hyung. Like one that costs hundreds of thousands of won.”

Since Seo Hae-young had handled it, he didn’t know the price.

“I’m not sure.”

“Oh… I guess you don’t even care?”

When he frowned, not understanding what that meant, the hand stroking his hair slowed down. The topic of conversation shifted instantly. Seung-wan laid out his ambitions, saying he had quit the convenience store to work under an older acquaintance and that it paid well, so he’d be moving out of this semi-basement soon. Hae-won gave a bitter smile, finding him both cute and enviable. Hae-won had nothing he strongly desired, nor anything he wanted to achieve. There was just one thing, but…

“All done.”

Finally, Seung-wan gathered the hair, which felt heavy, and patted his shoulder. Smiling and saying he could wash it in a bit, Seung-wan tidied up the messy dyeing tools. After expressing his gratitude, Hae-won curled up, hugging his knees and holding his breath. As if by doing so, his entire body would be stained pitch black and become invisible to everyone.

About twenty minutes later, after washing his hair while black water streamed down and drying the wet strands with a small dryer, Seung-wan—who had been admiring his handiwork with his arms crossed—pulled him into the bathroom. Standing before the mirror, Hae-won lightly gripped the jet-black hair and let it slip through his fingers. As the black bangs softly covered his forehead, a stranger appeared.

“Since your face is decent, everything looks good on you.”

Meeting the eyes of Seung-wan reflected in the mirror before turning his gaze back to the front, Hae-won stared blankly at his face, which looked even paler in contrast to the jet-black hair. Even though he had only changed his hair color, he felt like a completely different person. Now that the conspicuously bright hair color was gone, someone passing by might not recognize him at a glance and would be unsure.

“Do you like it?”

“…Yes.”

Contrary to Seung-wan’s praise, a pale and wretched man, looking as if he hadn’t been fed a single grain of porridge, distorted his face. Looking at the man in the mirror, Hae-won felt relieved, or perhaps he thought of someone. Looking at himself, who didn’t shine in the slightest even with the same hair color, for a very long time…

* * *

Around the time Hae-won’s hair was being dyed black, the lights came on in a house that had been empty for a week. Tae-gyeom entered the chilly house, practically throwing off shoes that wouldn’t come off easily. His head, which he had been pouring alcohol into, throbbed. The scar under his eye turned red along with it, causing an irritating pain. Collapsing onto the sofa and leaning his head back, a stifled sigh escaped him.

That day, Tae-gyeom had greeted the dawn at the airport. He wasn’t certain that the man wearing a black hat was Yoon Hae-won. Perhaps he had boarded a flight to the US with Joo Hyun-woo. Or perhaps he had gone somewhere else alone.

Among the countless departing flights and numerous destinations, Tae-gyeom could not possibly deduce where Hae-won would go. All he could do was scour the departure and arrival halls, wandering until the shops closed one by one. After spending the night without any results, Tae-gyeom drifted between his friends’ houses. He had endured for several days, not wanting to step into a space where the afterimage of Hae-won sitting blankly and staring out the window remained, but he was kicked out after a week of venting his temper. Today was the result.

“Fucking hell, seriously…”

Turning his head toward the corner of the sofa where Hae-won always sat, Tae-gyeom knew he had to make a decision soon.

Whether to find him, or to forget him as it was. The decision did not come easily.

Ruffling his hair, Tae-gyeom reached into his pants and pulled out the wallet stuffed in his pocket. He took out a crumpled photo sitting where banknotes should have been and stared at it blankly. Transparent tape clumsily held together a smiling face split into four pieces.

He remembered swearing profusely while picking up the torn pieces and sticking them back together. He wondered if he had been this pathetic, but the plump cheekbones were seriously cute, making it hard to just throw it away. Lamenting his own wretchedness, Tae-gyeom let out a hollow laugh and gripped the photo in his palm. He tossed the crumpled photo aside.

Thinking rationally, it was right to forget it as a fucking terrible experience. If he had fled abroad, there would be no way to find him; even if he were domestic, it was ambiguous whether he was worth finding to that extent. With that personality, he wouldn’t be able to speak up anywhere, and it would be lucky if he didn’t hang himself after suffering from being scammed…

“Fuck…!”

Startled by a sudden image that flooded his mind, Tae-gyeom straightened his back. The image of Hae-won with a slit palm and vacant eyes appeared, and he hurriedly stood up from the sofa. He had to find him. He had to keep him by his side somehow and stop him from doing something stupid. His alcohol-soaked brain did not quickly produce a way to find Hae-won. The phone was useless. Since that day, neither Yoon Hae-won, Seo Hae-young, nor Joo Hyun-woo had answered the phone.

“What the hell am I supposed to do…!”

Contrary to his urgency, faced with a hopeless situation, Tae-gyeom couldn’t contain his anger and kicked the table. Counting countries that didn’t require a visa one by one, Tae-gyeom picked up the crumpled photo from the corner again and discovered a green object poking out from the gap in the sofa. His deeply furrowed brow slowly relaxed, and then his eyes narrowed. It was the spot where Yoon Hae-won often sat.

Tae-gyeom tossed aside the annoying cushion and pushed his hand into the gap of the sofa. He pulled out everything that rustled at his fingertips. Looking down at the items in his hand, Tae-gyeom let out a hollow breath.

“Ha…”

A crisp new passport and three crumpled fifty-thousand won bills.

A memory from long ago overlapped with the folded banknotes. As the image of Hae-won’s gaze staring into the void suddenly surfaced, he buried his face in the two palms holding the passport and the bills.

‘Your share.’

What had Yoon Hae-won said then? No, had he even answered? He couldn’t remember. His sharp, blue eyes, reflecting his sensitive temper, scanned the surroundings aimlessly. He tried to recall even a shred of memory, but the photo of Hae-won with a bright smile looked distorted like a sob, as if mocking Tae-gyeom’s futile efforts. The creases were sorrowful, as if they could never be undone.

Holding his dizzy head, Tae-gyeom got into the car. No matter how much he had concluded that he had fled abroad, how could he not have thought to stop by the house once? Late in the evening, crawling along the road amidst the commute, he chewed his lips. He only desperately hoped that there would be even a speck of a clue in that small house he had hated entering because it was so wretched.

Barely suppressing the urge to ram the car in front, Tae-gyeom arrived in front of Hae-won’s house and grabbed the door handle, only to realize his mistake. He had left the key.

“Shit…”

Where the hell did he leave his mind? He tried pulling the handle, which just spun because it was locked from the inside, and unable to contain his anger, he kicked the door.

Occasionally, when he hadn’t brought the key, if he kicked it like this, Yoon Hae-won would slowly open the door with an annoyed expression. The back of his head as he stepped inside without even saying “come in.” An old memory was overwritten by a recent one. With a hand pushing his shoulder as if telling him not to enter, and an expression checking his reaction.

“Ha…”

The strength drained from his legs. As the loud clattering sound of the iron door faded, an ominous silence descended. He had to go back home, get the key, open the door, and search the house for any small clue. This simple plan felt strangely difficult to Tae-gyeom. If he opened the door and there was no useful information, where should he start looking? Where had Yoon Hae-won gone? Where on earth would a kid with no family and no friends go? The mounting guilt weighed down his shoulders.

The moment he turned his reluctant steps, the firmly closed door creaked open. Tae-gyeom stopped and turned around. The sudden surge of fear and anticipation collapsed in an instant the moment he faced the person poking their head out from behind the door.

“I wondered what it was…”

The person who came out of Hae-won’s house was Seo Hae-young, who looked disappointed with a frown, the man whose not a single strand of hair had been seen since Joo Hyun-woo’s farewell party.

“…What the fuck are you doing here?”

Tae-gyeom strode forward, jammed his foot into the closing gap of the door, and pulled the handle. Through the wide-open door, he caught a glimpse of the somewhat empty interior, but Tae-gyeom didn’t notice the difference and searched for traces of Hae-won. He couldn’t see them clearly from this angle.

Pushing aside Seo Hae-young, who was staring at him from the doorway, Tae-gyeom stepped inside and thoroughly searched every corner of the narrow house. Just as Seo Hae-young had done on the first day Hae-won disappeared, Tae-gyeom wandered the entire house and, having gained nothing, turned around to glare at Seo Hae-young, who was staring blankly. He happened to be the person he needed to meet.

“Where is that bastard? Did you hide him?”

The subtle friendliness that had once been embedded in his rough speech had long since vanished. Aggressive and hostile emotions were revealed without filter. Seo Hae-young stared silently at the ‘own space’ Tae-gyeom was stepping on, then slowly lifted his head. Tae-gyeom, with a bandage on his eye, did not look well. After scanning the irritating face, Seo Hae-young picked up the umbrella Tae-gyeom had knocked over upon entering, set it back in place, and let out a thin laugh.

“Hey, Tae-gyeom……. I’m telling you this because you don’t seem to get it.”

It wasn’t an answer to the question. Seo Hae-young, dressed in clothes as comfortable as if he were in his own home, rubbed the back of his neck and spoke slowly, pausing between each word. As if telling him to finally understand.

“Yoon Hae-won, is, not, interested, in you.”

A hollow laugh escaped from between Tae-gyeom’s teeth. He already knew all too well that Hae-won detested him, and that was exactly why he couldn’t stand it. Tae-gyeom stepped toward Seo Hae-young immediately, grabbed him by the collar, and swung a fist into his clean cheek. Seo Hae-young collapsed without resistance, and though Tae-gyeom still held him by the collar, his hands were shaking violently. Confusion surged within him.

Why is this bastard so calm? Where did Yoon Hae-won go? If he’s hiding him, why is he acting like he’s waiting for someone here?

Countless question marks sprang up. Tae-gyeom clung to his fading rationality and shook the collar he was gripping. He was anxious. Anxious that Yoon Hae-won might go back to Seo Hae-young. Anxious that the attention—which Hae-won never gave him even a speck of—would be handed to Seo Hae-young like a gift, despite the latter not even knowing how to be grateful for it.

“Fuck, stop bullshitting……. Where did he go? I have things to say to that bastard, so tell me right now.”

Seo Hae-young, licking the inside of his burst lip, rolled his eyes. His expression held neither a sense of crisis nor fear. His red, bleeding lips parted, and brazen words spilled out.

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t lie to me, you piece of shit……. Tell me straight. Where is he?”

Tae-gyeom shook him by the collar once more. Seo Hae-young had a look in his eyes as if he knew something. From that excessive composure, Tae-gyeom concluded as much. All he needed was to know where he was. Once he had the location, bringing him back wouldn’t be that difficult.

Looking down at Tae-gyeom’s hands, which were trembling with uncontrollable emotion, Seo Hae-young smiled slightly.

In an instant, a hand shot out, gripped Tae-gyeom’s neck, and slammed him into the floor. As Tae-gyeom let out a stifled groan, Seo Hae-young climbed on top of him, tightening his grip until veins popped, and slapped him across the cheek with an upturned hand. It was a palm, not a fist.

“No, seriously, fuck…… Tae-gyeom. I told you it wouldn’t work even if you tried. Did you get stupid from poking around in Yoon Hae-won’s hole? Does stupidity be contagious?”

Seo Hae-young’s low voice, laced with laughter, condemned both Tae-gyeom and Hae-won in one breath. The heavy grip on his neck was brutal, as if he intended to snap it right here. Due to the blood rushing to his face, the scar hidden under the bandage burned. Seo Hae-young struck Tae-gyeom’s cheek once more—with even more force than he ever used when hitting Hae-won—to stop him from escaping, then leaned down.

“I lent him to you for a bit. You should’ve been satisfied with that……. Fuck, you shouldn’t be greedy. Right?”

Tae-gyeom, his head ringing from the force of the blow, suddenly kicked Seo Hae-young’s leg and threw a punch. The punch grazed Seo Hae-young’s jaw, causing him to loosen his grip. Tae-gyeom, clearing his throbbing throat, slapped him back across the cheek. He gripped the fine hair that Yoon Hae-won must have always wanted to touch and raised his fist, but this time, he felt it wasn’t worth the effort. There was no meaning to it. Not at a time when he didn’t know what decision Yoon Hae-won was making.

Tae-gyeom spat out a curse and shoved Seo Hae-young’s hair away as if throwing it, as the latter lifted his chin as if asking why he wasn’t hitting him. Then he asked once more. Where did Yoon Hae-won go? Seo Hae-young blinked quietly and shook his head. For Tae-gyeom, it was simply absurd. Whether he truly didn’t know or was pretending not to, he shouldn’t be this calm. While someone else was going crazy not knowing what Yoon Hae-won might do, how could he be so unfazed……?

“Then what the fuck are you doing here? You don’t give a shit about that bastard, do you? He’s fucking, right now…….”

His voice choked. It was a conversation too shameless to have with Seo Hae-young. His mind was a complete mess. Guilt, regret, jealousy, and fear mixed together, bringing a wave of overwhelming anger. He grabbed Seo Hae-young by the collar and slammed him into the floor.

“Fuck, I asked where Yoon Hae-won is!”

The lips stained with reddish blood stretched into a wide grin. Tae-gyeom looked down silently at the suddenly laughing Seo Hae-young. An unstoppable contempt mixed into his distorted gaze.

“Ah. Want me to tell you one more thing?”

The white skin, where deep purple bruises were quickly forming, was colored by a sickening smile. Soon, a one-sided conversation that clashed with the situation pierced his eardrums.

“That bastard can’t live without me. I made him that way……. I made him that way.”

Tae-gyeom found Seo Hae-young’s vacant laughter so disgusting he didn’t even want to look at him. His neck stiffened from a sensation of losing his mind and drifting away. There had always, always, forever been something between Yoon Hae-won and Seo Hae-young that he could not, and would not, understand. Before, their excessive intimacy was simply an eyesore……. But seeing the conviction on Seo Hae-young’s face, the facts he already knew awakened him to a miserable reality. A feeling of utter hopelessness washed over him, like the moment he realized he had left his keys behind. His vision went dark; he could see no path forward.

“Stop bullshitting, you piece of shit…….”

He couldn’t let it go that easily. It was a decision born of sheer spite. Staggering to his feet, Tae-gyeom thought of the withering Hae-won. He was the one who made him that way. Because he spoke carelessly, intoxicated by a momentary sense of superiority, he had sold out the penniless Yoon Hae-won. Therefore, all he had to do was find him before Seo Hae-young did. The opportunity would go to the one who found him first.

Tae-gyeom left Hae-won’s house without finding a single clue, his mind racing through the fog. He repeatedly vowed that he could not let Seo Hae-young catch him.

* * *

Left alone in the house after Tae-gyeom departed, Seo Hae-young spat the blood pooling in his mouth into the sink. Bright red blood continued to leak from his burst lip. He stared for a while at the blood staining the sink, which bore the marks of time, before turning on the water to wash away the traces. During the week that Hae-won had been wandering wherever his feet took him, the house he had lived in his whole life had become Seo Hae-young’s house on the contract.

Seo Hae-young was different from Go Tae-gyeom. Their situations, the feelings they held for Yoon Hae-won, and the information they possessed were all different. He didn’t even consider the possibility that Hae-won had followed Joo Hyun-woo abroad. He had completely forgotten that it was the day Joo Hyun-woo was leaving. Even if he had known, he had faith in Hae-won. A firm belief that he wasn’t the type of person capable of that. The limited information, conversely, allowed for a faster response.

A week ago, while fiddling with the clothes Hae-won had left behind in the chaotic house, he had checked the card statements for the first time. He sighed the moment he discovered a trace of one million won being withdrawn from an otherwise empty account. If he was going to withdraw money, he should have taken more; he couldn’t believe how foolish the boy was.

Seo Hae-young rhythmically tapped the floor with his phone, the screen turned off. He had no intention of freezing the card or making Hae-won a criminal, so his deliberation had been long.

No one would be interested in the disappearance of an adult male unrelated to a crime. While that could be an advantage in the long run, it was more of a disadvantage for now. After much thought, he contacted someone he didn’t particularly like. Covering his face with a piece of clothing that smelled of Hae-won, Seo Hae-young skipped the pleasantries and dropped a single sentence.

“Hae-won is a bit sick.”

And?

The voice held a coldness that was uncharacteristic of family. However, Seo Hae-young continued nonchalantly.

“He ran off with his card, and I’m curious where he went.”

Report it.

It was a cold response, considering she contacted Hae-won occasionally. Letting out a thin laugh, Seo Hae-young moved to the main point, his voice still tinged with amusement.

“I don’t want him to become a criminal. I think he would’ve used the terminals.”

Why don’t you just leave him alone? He has nowhere to go, so he’ll be back soon.

Seo Ga-young avoided giving the answer he wanted and talked in circles. Eventually, Seo Hae-young had no choice but to bring up the implicit rule. He offered a price.

In the small house whose owner had vanished, Seo Hae-young exchanged a few things in return for Seo Ga-young finding Hae-won’s whereabouts. A cello received as a gift at seventeen, a bike left rotting in the parking lot, and a watch. The ghost-like Seo Ga-young picked out only the things he cherished. It was a fairly high price for a mere insurance policy.

After hanging up with Seo Ga-young, who said she would contact her acquaintances and let him know within a few days, Seo Hae-young took a deep breath. The scent of the fabric softener he bought every time they were apart tickled his nose. It was the scent of Yoon Hae-won, handmade. A ticklish and fragile scent.

Scent carries many things. Smelling a certain fragrance brings back memories of that time. Just as he was thinking of someone now, if someone else smelled a similar scent, they would think of him. That was the reason he didn’t bother using perfume.

Even now, it was the same. Yoon Hae-won wasn’t the only one bound by scent. Seo Hae-young buried his nose in the clothes where the scent had faded, then tossed them toward the corner of the room. They no longer smelled of the fragrance he missed. He no longer needed clothes covered in his own scent. He laid his head down in the space he had preserved exactly as it was the day Hae-won left, without excessive cleaning.

Seo Hae-young rubbed the screen of his phone, which had not received a single message from Hae-won. It had been a week since he started waiting for a trace of the pitiful Yoon Hae-won, who was likely wandering the streets with a fragmented mind, and Seo Hae-young’s prediction had been neatly proven wrong. The naive expectation that he would return after running away for about three days.

Strange. Yoon Hae-won can’t live without me.

He searched his phone again to see if he had missed a notification, but the texts and calls had died out a week ago. All that remained were messages from Seo Ga-young.

Within the rough whereabouts Seo Ga-young provided, Hae-won didn’t settle but kept heading somewhere. He took a bus from the airport to the countryside, stayed for a day, went to a small city, then an even smaller city, and then to a village. If he connected the sporadic news into a line, Hae-won was gradually moving upward. It was an instinctive return toward the place where he had lived his whole life.

Perhaps he had used his head for once; because he threw away his card and used only cash, he wasn’t easily caught. Or perhaps Seo Ga-young was intentionally being vague. Whatever it was, it was annoying.

“So annoying…….”

A whole week.

As if mocking his naive thoughts, Hae-won did not show himself.

Only a week.

Like clothes getting soaked in a drizzle, Seo Hae-young was gradually realizing the reality of Yoon Hae-won’s absence.