By Zephyria 
When night fell, Jae-gyeom and Yoon Tae-hee set out for their nightly walk again. As soon as they stepped out the front gate, Yoon Tae-hee demanded a kiss as if he had been waiting for the moment.
“Kiss.”
Following the new kissing rule they had established during the day, Jae-gyeom scanned their surroundings before leaning his face in toward Yoon Tae-hee. Yoon Tae-hee then cupped Jae-gyeom’s face and kissed him in sequence: the lips, the cheeks, the brow bone, and finally the forehead. Only after receiving this barrage of kisses was he finally able to move forward.
The two walked while holding hands as usual, sharing various conversations. Jae-gyeom asked, swinging their joined hands back and forth.
“By the way, what’s your favorite food?”
“Hmm…”
Yoon Tae-hee rolled his eyes for a moment before speaking.
“Tteokbokki.”
“Tteokbokki? That red, spicy stuff?”
“Yeah. But I don’t like it if it’s too spicy…”
“Then you like any kind of tteokbokki?”
“No. I like it moderately sweet. And instead of delivery tteokbokki, I prefer the kind sold at street stalls or snack shops… I prefer wheat cakes over rice cakes. And I like the sauce to be thin.”
Yoon Tae-hee’s favorite place was a street food stall located about fifteen minutes away from the main office. Whenever he felt too lazy to eat a proper meal or didn’t have anything specific he wanted, he would often go there alone to buy tteokbokki.
Once, while standing blankly on the street eating tteokbokki as usual, he had run into Kang Yi-bin, who was returning from field work. Kang Yi-bin went straight back to the office and spent the rest of the day teasing Yoon Tae-hee relentlessly with the other team members.
‘I’m walking down the street and I see this guy built like a door, dressed sharply in a suit, just staring blankly into space while eating tteokbokki. I looked closer because it was so strange, and it was our Chief.’
‘Chief, why were you staring into space while eating tteokbokki?’
‘That’s right, Chief. What on earth were you looking at?’
‘Were you savoring the taste while gazing at a distant mountain?’
Listening to the story, Jae-gyeom giggled and asked.
“So? Did you stop going there after that?”
Yoon Tae-hee replied that he hadn’t succumbed to the team’s teasing and continued to seek out that shop’s tteokbokki, and fortunately, he hadn’t run into any acquaintances since then.
“Next time I go to Seoul, I want to try the tteokbokki from that place too.”
“You do?”
Yoon Tae-hee liked the change in Jae-gyeom, who was now naturally promising a future together. With a gentle smile, Yoon Tae-hee suddenly lifted the hand he was holding and kissed the back of it. It was a kiss that felt like a reward.
Jae-gyeom posed the next question.
“Besides tteokbokki, is there anything else you like?”
“Hmm…”
After rolling his eyes for a moment, Yoon Tae-hee spoke.
“Yogurt whipped cream cake. The kind with strawberries on top. I prefer a slice over a whole cake.”
“What’s a whole size?”
“When they sell the entire cake without cutting it.”
“Ah.”
Jae-gyeom nodded. Even from a brief conversation, it seemed Yoon Tae-hee had very specific tastes. And there was a strange sense of persistence to it. He had thought Yoon Tae-hee was indifferent toward food because he had a small appetite, but it seemed he actually had firm standards.
I see. He likes tteokbokki and cake…
As Jae-gyeom was processing the information in his head.
“What about you?”
“I like everything. I eat just about anything well.”
“Still, isn’t there something you like especially more?”
After thinking for a moment, Jae-gyeom said.
“I like red beans. I love anything with red beans in it.”
“Red bean porridge, sirutteok… things like that?”
“Yeah.”
Then Yoon Tae-hee said.
“I like red beans too.”
Jae-gyeom’s eyes widened, and he looked at Yoon Tae-hee as if this were unexpected. For some reason, he felt like Yoon Tae-hee was the type of person who would hate red beans.
“You like red beans too?”
“Yeah. Because red beans are usually sweet.”
“Oh… Is that something you take from Myo-jeong?”
“Why?”
“Because Myo-jeong liked red beans too.”
Jae-gyeom spoke while stroking his chin. If there was one other thing that had changed for Jae-gyeom, it was that he now naturally mentioned ‘Myo-jeong’ more often during conversations. There was a time when even bringing up his name was difficult. But now, he could bring up stories of Myo-jeong quite casually and calmly.
“I see.”
Nodding, Yoon Tae-hee added a question.
“Then did that person like sweet things too?”
Suddenly, Jae-gyeom whipped his head around to look at Yoon Tae-hee with a stern face.
“‘Myo-jeong’?”
Yoon Tae-hee looked bewildered.
“Is Myo-jeong your friend? You brat… how rude.”
“…”
Yoon Tae-hee was momentarily speechless. Whether it was a disciple calling a master by their name or a son calling his father by his name, it was essentially the same, yet Jae-gyeom occasionally got angry at the strangest things.
“Then what should I call him?”
Father? Or your Master? Anything felt awkward. It was the same for both Yoon Tae-hee and Jae-gyeom. Jae-gyeom felt that it would also feel strange if Yoon Tae-hee called Myo-jeong ‘Father.’
“Huh? Um, uhhh…”
Jae-gyeom seemed to ponder for a long while before offering an alternative title with an uncertain expression.
“‘That person’…?”
At that, Yoon Tae-hee let out a soft laugh and obediently corrected his terminology.
“Did that person like sweet things too?”
“No. Myo-jeong only liked red beans; he tended to dislike sweet things. Then who do you take after? Did Hwirim like sweet things?…”
“Then what should I call Hwirim?”
“Huh? Uh… hmmm…”
Jae-gyeom rolled his eyes with a serious expression before producing an answer.
“The… that person’s that person…?”
“Haha. What is that?”
As Yoon Tae-hee lowered his head and laughed, Jae-gyeom spoke with a feigned sternness.
“You should show respect. They are the parents who gave birth to you.”
Then Yoon Tae-hee asked with a smile.
“Do I have to show respect just because they gave birth to me?”
What? Just as Jae-gyeom’s eyes narrowed.
“I understand intellectually that those people are my parents, but in truth, it doesn’t really resonate with me. I’ve only seen them through your memories; I’ve never actually met them. In any case, they are people who don’t exist to me.”
Jae-gyeom paused and looked at Yoon Tae-hee.
“…”
It wasn’t a lie.
And Yoon Tae-hee was occasionally this surprisingly cold.
Whenever Yoon Tae-hee drew a line with Myo-jeong like this, Jae-gyeom felt somehow upset. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand, but he still felt a sense of loss.
If only things hadn’t gone that way back then.
He knew well now that hypotheticals were useless and that nothing would change regardless, but still, there were times when he felt a heartbreaking sense of sorrow.
If all those tragedies hadn’t happened. Myo-jeong and Hwirim would surely have been happy. For even a short moment, Yoon Tae-hee would undoubtedly have grown up receiving overflowing love. Just as Myo-jeong had raised him. Without ever knowing emotions like revenge or hatred, he would have grown up happily in the embrace of a kind father and mother, a warm family…
Whenever Jae-gyeom saw the loneliness and solitude flickering across Yoon Tae-hee’s expression, or whenever he saw Yoon Tae-hee become this surprisingly cold, his heart ached. If he could, Jae-gyeom wanted to protect Yoon Tae-hee’s childhood. He wanted to give him back his family.
As the guilt that it was all his fault and the remorse for having destroyed everything mixed together, Jae-gyeom suddenly felt a familial bond and a sense of responsibility toward Yoon Tae-hee. Myo-jeong had wanted to become family with him. Therefore, originally, he and Yoon Tae-hee would have been brothers.
‘If it is Gyeom, you will undoubtedly become a wonderful senior disciple.’
In that moment, Jae-gyeom abruptly stopped walking.
“…”
After hesitating for a moment, Jae-gyeom’s lips parted.
“Tae-hee.”
“Yeah.”
However, even after calling him, Jae-gyeom couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He simply clenched and unclenched his fist before falling silent.
Tae-hee,
Sometimes it’s hard on my heart because it feels like I ruined everything with my own hands. I try to tell myself that it couldn’t be helped, that it wasn’t my fault, but some days it just doesn’t work…
But these words would only be a burden to you.
This is my share to bear.
Jae-gyeom took a deep breath. Yoon Tae-hee did not rush him and waited quietly for him to speak. In response, Jae-gyeom stepped a couple of paces ahead of Yoon Tae-hee, turned his back, and crouched down on one knee.
“Come here. I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”
At the sudden offer, Yoon Tae-hee’s eyes widened.
“Suddenly?”
“I just want to do it for you.”
“I’m fine, though…”
“Hurry.”
Faced with Jae-gyeom’s determined attitude, Yoon Tae-hee hesitated for a moment before climbing onto Jae-gyeom’s back. As he lightly wrapped his arms around Jae-gyeom’s neck, Jae-gyeom hoisted him up. He knew Jae-gyeom was strong, but it was still surprising to be lifted so effortlessly without a single flinch.
Yoon Tae-hee asked.
“Am I not heavy?”
Jae-gyeom adjusted his grip on Yoon Tae-hee and replied nonchalantly.
“Not at all. You’re like a feather.”
Yoon Tae-hee let out a small laugh. Then, wrapping his arms tighter around Jae-gyeom’s neck, he pressed his cheek against Jae-gyeom’s.
Jae-gyeom felt the beat of Yoon Tae-hee’s heart through his back.
“Tae-hee.”
“Yeah.”
“No matter what anyone says, Myo-jeong is my family.”
Yoon Tae-hee listened to Jae-gyeom’s words.
“So, you are my younger brother.”
For a moment, one corner of Yoon Tae-hee’s eye twitched slightly before returning to normal. It was a momentary flicker of emotion that Jae-gyeom could not have noticed.
“If you ever need a Hyung, just tell me.”
“…”
“I’ll be your Hyung.”
“…”
Yoon Tae-hee did not give any answer.
Suddenly, his heart twisted.
No, you are not my Hyung.
You can’t be something like a Hyung to me…
In truth, Yoon Tae-hee did not welcome Myo-jeong being brought up in conversation. Myo-jeong’s existence sometimes felt like an inviolable sanctuary. Whenever they spoke of Myo-jeong, Jae-gyeom’s eyes would sink into a quiet stillness. As if he were looking at some distant place, as if he were longing, as if he had gone somewhere that could never be reached.
“Okay. I’ll tell you if I need one.”
After a long silence, Yoon Tae-hee finally answered.