39 – VCR

Startled by the sound of something breaking below, I ran out barefoot. I couldn’t stay inside when I could vividly hear people shouting “Your Majesty” and the sound of things being smashed by some immense force.

“Ah!”

A sharp pain flared in my lower abdomen again, making my legs stumble as I ran. It seemed to be psychosomatic pain. Seeing as my stomach hurt whenever I became sensitive while thinking about Joo Min-hyeok, it was certainly due to stress.

And then, I spotted Joo Min-hyeok stepping outside after smashing through a door. Worried that he might start rampaging again, I shouted toward his back.

“Your Majesty!”

Ugh! My stomach… The intervals of pain were so short that I considered calling a doctor. Hearing my voice, Joo Min-hyeok raised his arm to wipe the sweat from his face and turned around.

…Huh? Did that bastard just smile? I think he smiled. It was dark and he was partially covering his face with his arm, so I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I saw the corners of his mouth lift when he saw me… Would it have been better if he just smiled? The face he revealed a moment later was severely hardened.

He approached me slowly, kicking aside the scattered furniture, looking like a wild beast. Assessing the situation, I realized that rather than being angry, the more urgent task was to calm this madman down. He scanned me from a distance, and his gaze paused briefly on my feet. Ah, I’m barefoot, aren’t I?

“Where did you go without saying a word, Grand Imperial Concubine? I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

I frowned at the sight of him asking so gently with a soft smile. Madman. Wipe the blood off your face before you talk. The blood streaming down his cheek bothered me. How could he not get injured while causing such a ruckus?

So, in the end, it was true that this disaster happened because I wasn’t there. I bit my lip as I looked at the palace attendants of my pavilion trembling to one side. How terrified they must have been to see a Dominant Alpha of that size—and the Emperor, no less—smashing through solid doors as if they were wooden chopsticks.

Joo Min-hyeok stood before me with a swagger. It was overwhelming just to look at him because of his intimidating presence, but since this happened because of me, I had to keep my wits about me and clean up the mess. First, I bowed my head to greet him. However, Joo Min-hyeok grabbed my chin as I bowed and tilted my head up.

“I asked where you were, Grand Imperial Concubine. I almost built you a new place to stay, but you’ve come out just in time.”

“What on earth are you doing in my quarters, Your Majesty?”

“I was waiting for the Grand Imperial Concubine. Isn’t it natural for a husband to look for his Omega?”

“Then why couldn’t you look for me quietly? Why are you smashing everyone’s quarters? What are you going to do about all this?”

“Do you think I can’t fix something as trivial as this? I asked where you went; why aren’t you answering?”

“Where else would I go at this hour? I went to sleep!”

“Why did you wander outside instead of sleeping in the bedroom and make me search for so long? You knew I would come.”

The grip on my chin tightened. Ah! It hurts! Why is he getting so worked up? I really don’t understand. I’m the one who should be angry; look at this audacity.

“That’s why I left! Because I didn’t want to see Your Majesty. Because you only like my body!”

“…What?”

Since I was caught and couldn’t move, I glared at Joo Min-hyeok with wide eyes. I have a temper too! I’m angry too! Is he bored after holding me a few times, or what? He needs to tell me exactly what he’s sulking about for me to know. And then what? He tells me to trust him? To trust only him? As if. I shook off Joo Min-hyeok’s hand, lowered my head, and muttered to myself softly, intentionally loud enough for him to hear.

“What is that supposed to mean? Why would I only like your body?”

“You should know best what that means. You told me to trust you because we’re a real couple, but you’re the one who avoided me even though you knew I was waiting. What does that mean? It means you’re bored of me now.”

“Don’t speak carelessly when you know nothing.”

“I’m not speaking carelessly! You’re the one who made these words come out of my mouth, Your Majesty.”

He’s the one who avoided me, so what crime did I commit by wandering around my own pavilion for him to smash someone’s quarters in the middle of the night? This is absurd. Until recently, he held me as if he’d die without me and told me to trust him, but if he acts this inscrutably, even I would feel hurt.

I felt a surge of emotion, and tears were about to spill. Who is the only person I’ve trusted and lived with here? I had been relying on him without even realizing it. But he ignores me like that? I crossed my arms and turned my back to avoid eye contact with Joo Min-hyeok. When he tried to grab my shoulder to turn me around, I yelled.

“Don’t touch me!”

I felt Joo Min-hyeok’s hand, which had been about to grab my shoulder, freeze in mid-air, and the surroundings fell silent instantly. Embarrassed that I had unintentionally given a live performance of a couple’s fight, I glanced at the attendants. Except for Sang-seon, who was frowning as if he’d seen something he shouldn’t have, they were all watching us with serious faces. Their eyes were sparkling so much that streetlights wouldn’t even be necessary. Uh, how do I fix this?

“…It’s not like that. Don’t misunderstand. I’ve never liked only your body. It’s not like that.”

“But it’s true that you avoided me. If that’s the case, you shouldn’t have looked for me at all. Why do you come secretly every night to hug me and sleep? And then you disappear in the morning without a word. It hurts my pride.”

I wanted to handle this manfully and with composure, but I couldn’t. In the end, I got emotional again, turned my back to Joo Min-hyeok, and made sobbing sounds through my nose. I’m upset.

“Why are you barefoot? You’ve hurt your feet.”

“I thought there was an earthquake because of the sound of someone smashing a house.”

I snapped at him for no reason while secretly wiping my tears and snot behind my back.

“…I can’t leave it like this. Excuse me.”

“What? Ah!”

I was swiftly lifted by Joo Min-hyeok’s hands and ended up in his arms again. This was already the second time I’d been carried princess-style. Last time it was in front of the military officers, and now it’s in front of the attendants of my quarters… My face flushed as I heard the attendants gasp. I flailed my legs, demanding to be put down, but he lightly ignored my request.

“Sang-seon, tell the maids to head inside and you should rest as well. I’ll have people come and clean this place up when it’s light.”

“Yes, Your Majesty…”

I thought I heard a sigh escape from the extremely exhausted-looking Sang-seon. Well, how annoying must it be for him to watch us? I was angry at Joo Min-hyeok, but I was too embarrassed to look at their faces, so I buried my face in his chest.

∗   ∗   ∗

After setting me down in the bathroom, Joo Min-hyeok began to wash my feet with warm water. The floor was very clean, so there were no wounds, but Joo Min-hyeok washed my dirty feet without hesitation. We’ve seen everything there is to see of each other, but having someone wash you is a different matter. After drying the moisture with a towel and meticulously applying lotion, Joo Min-hyeok tried to carry me out, but I held onto him and washed the wound on his face.

To think that I found it cute when he frowned slightly because the water stung—I must be pretty crazy too. It’s not normal to think a man is cute when he has an anger management problem and smashed a house just because I wasn’t in the room.

I stared quietly at the man who held my hand to signal that he was okay. Joo Min-hyeok also met my gaze without avoiding it. Was today’s incident truly a couple’s fight, or was it a frenzy of two people unable to control their emotions? Whatever it was, I had to know the reason.

“I don’t understand Your Majesty’s heart. You were indifferently a bystander my whole life, but then you helped my brothers and took care of me on behalf of Grandfather, and told me to trust only you—so why are you avoiding me? If you’re angry with me, please tell me instead of avoiding me. If you do this, I cannot trust you.”

“And you? Have you told me everything? Without hiding anything?”

Hiding something? What. Why is he asking this instead of answering my question? Something I didn’t tell Joo Min-hyeok? Hmm… there are a lot of things I haven’t told him. A lot… but that’s absolutely not to deceive him. It’s a secret I can’t tell anyone. Even if I wanted to, he probably wouldn’t believe me. I know there aren’t many people like my brother Han-bin in the world.

My silence isn’t a matter of not trusting Joo Min-hyeok or liking/disliking him. This is my secret past. To be precise, my past life. I died and was reborn with all my memories. I met my younger brothers, Seo-joo and Hyun-wook, again. I wasn’t actually your fiancé. I can’t just say that, can I?

I had agonized over this issue dozens of times. But the conclusion was always the same. Let’s not say it. There’s nothing to gain from saying it, and hiding it doesn’t particularly have a huge impact on Joo Min-hyeok. It’s a matter that doesn’t need to be mentioned.

“Why are you asking that? Did you perhaps hear something about me? There are many people around you who think poorly of me.”

“…It’s not that.”

Even if it’s not that, there’s something that upset you! This is so frustrating! Besides, he’s not the type of person to just ask something like that. What on earth is it? That’s the only thing I haven’t told Joo Min-hyeok…

“If there’s something you haven’t told me, tell me. I’m willing to listen to everything.”

He’s willing to listen. Does he really know something? Of course, that’s unlikely, but… I frowned and examined Joo Min-hyeok’s expression, and I felt something chilling in his eyes. An inexplicable chill that my five senses were warning me about. Should I just drop a hint? Hesitating, I parted my lips to say something to him.