By Zephyria 
Hyun-wook trailed off and lowered his head, avoiding my eyes.
“I feel like it’s because of me…. I kept worrying that maybe you lost all your memories because of me. The moment I met you again, I was unbelievably happy, and it felt like a dream, but at the same time, I felt so guilty that I couldn’t even face you. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that I’d met Seo-joo. I just couldn’t do it.”
As I listened quietly to Hyun-wook, I couldn’t understand. The fact that Seo-joo didn’t remember me was shocking, but it wasn’t something anyone should take responsibility for.
Having only died once, I didn’t know if possession after death was common or special, but I knew it wasn’t a frequent occurrence. Therefore, problems could arise during the process of being possessed into this world. For instance, cases where one loses their memories.
So, it wasn’t Hyun-wook’s fault. I didn’t understand why he was apologizing. Knowing that he wasn’t the type to act this way without a reason, my anxiety grew.
“Then where and when did you meet Seo-joo?”
“My father runs a separate martial arts academy that only noble families and chaebols can attend.”
“I know about that. It’s very popular.”
These days, learning special martial arts, such as defensive techniques, is a trend among nobles and chaebols. As crimes targeting them increased, they began learning sports to protect themselves in unforeseen situations. I had heard that students flocked there because Hyun-wook’s father was very famous. But why was he mentioning this?
“…I saw Seo-joo there. A year ago.”
Seo-joo, a year ago?
“You saw Seo-joo there? Then Seo-joo is….”
The fact that Seo-joo was there meant he was born into a noble or chaebol family. At this unexpectedly welcome news, a bright smile unconsciously spread across my face. He had suffered and struggled so much; how could I not be happy that he was born into a good home, whether he had his memories or not? It was truly a relief.
“He’s the second son of the chairman of Shinseon Dairy. He said he’s been taking my father’s classes for three years. I had no idea because I was at boarding school. Isn’t it amazing?”
“Shinseon Dairy? Really? Then that Fresh Mart? That place?”
“Yeah, that’s right. Fresh Mart. Shinseon Dairy runs that too.”
No, he said he wanted to run a small convenience store if he were reborn, but he was born as the son of a chaebol who owns a giant mart? I didn’t even know that and had been looking only at convenience store part-timers….
“And Seo-joo is a year older than us. He’s a hyung. Will you be able to call him hyung later?”
“…Older than me?”
Seo-joo had died six months before I did. Was that why he was a year older? If so, what would our titles be? Isn’t that too chaotic? But I couldn’t have died before him. While I was lost in these useless worries about a Seo-joo I hadn’t even met yet, Hyun-wook continued the story.
“Also, Seo-joo is an Alpha. So he’s very healthy and sturdy. He’s very different from before. There’s no trace of that small, child-like appearance.”
“…Then how are you so sure that he’s Seo-joo? Couldn’t he just be someone similar?”
Because I missed Seo-joo so much, I was cautious that he might have mistaken someone else for him. Our Seo-joo died at the young age of fifteen. And because of his illness, he was smaller and more child-like than his peers.
Therefore, I couldn’t even imagine an adult version of Seo-joo I had never seen. I wondered if I would even recognize him if I met him. His voice would be completely different, too.
I wasn’t certain that the Alpha Hyun-wook was talking about was my younger brother, Seo-joo. But Hyun-wook seemed different. He was strangely certain that the Alpha was Seo-joo.
“Just as you were certain I was Kang Hyun-wook, I felt the same. The moment I saw him. Above all, he does exactly what Seo-joo used to do. You know, the habits and mannerisms. The way he acts, too.”
He said everything was the same: the way he couldn’t eat meat because it tasted fishy, his dislike of barley tea, the habit of biting his lip, scratching the back of his head when flustered, and even his unique way of speaking. Most of all, he said that even though the build was different, the features were the same as Seo-joo’s, and that if young Seo-joo had become an adult, he would have looked exactly like that.
I tried my best to remain calm at those words, but the more I listened to Hyun-wook, the more I couldn’t stop my heart from racing.
“But what on earth is your fault?”
When I pressed him on that point again, Hyun-wook lowered his head.
“Do you remember what I said before you died? Did you hear me? When I held your hand….”
“You told me I’d worked hard and to go peacefully. That we’d meet again. Hearing that, I went peacefully, as if falling asleep.”
I only answered because he asked, so why was he crying? With bloodshot eyes, Hyun-wook smiled at me. That idiot.
“I was the same. Everything sounded so clear to me too. Actually, I didn’t even know I’d been unconscious in the hospital for several days. I regained consciousness, but my eyes wouldn’t open and my body wouldn’t move.”
That’s because he hadn’t fully regained consciousness. It’s just that right before death, for a brief moment, one’s hearing becomes sharper. Hyun-wook probably knew what that was like—how you can hear very well for a short while just before passing. It’s a strange moment.
“I had no sensation in my body and couldn’t open my eyes, but my mind was perfectly clear. I could hear my grandmother’s voice clearly beside me. Asking why our Hyun-wook was dying. I heard the doctor explaining it to her. I heard the detailed cause of my death—what was wrong with me, what disease it was, and that a crisis was coming soon.”
I stared blankly at Hyun-wook as he recalled that time with a dry expression.
“It felt strange to hear the reason I was about to die right beside me. Eerie, perhaps? ‘Ah, so that’s why I’m dying?’ But do you know what my grandmother told the doctor? She asked them to delay my death by 40 minutes. Because my parents’ class would end around then. Isn’t that ridiculous? Even in a moment like that, they weren’t by my side.”
Now I understood the things Hyun-wook had told me before. That he was alone at the moment of death. What kind of parents are they, unable to attend their own crazy brat’s deathbed because they were busy teaching other people’s children?
“What I want to tell you is…. I still remember the words that sounded so vivid, and I wondered if it was the same for Seo-joo. I whispered those words into Seo-joo’s ear at the end. ‘Hae-joo.’”
Hyun-wook couldn’t continue and bit his lip. I waited until he could speak. I didn’t know what burden of the heart was making him suffer so much, but I didn’t want to press him.
“I told him he had been in so much pain, so to forget it all and shake it off. I told him that when he was reborn, to forget everything hard and painful, be born anew, and live comfortably. Maybe that’s why. Maybe that’s why he can’t remember. I was obsessed with you guys until the moment I died. That’s why I remember, but our Seo-joo, who always listens well, must have listened to me too well.”
Our Seo-joo, who listens well. Seo-joo would have listened to anything Hyun-wook said. Knowing that was probably why Hyun-wook felt this way. But that was just a groundless guess born from Hyun-wook’s guilt.
“This is why I couldn’t tell you about Seo-joo. I feel like it turned out this way because I left those words behind. I told him to live happily and then remember when he meets Hae-joo and me again, but he doesn’t remember at all.”
The last sentence was almost a statement of resignation. After Hyun-wook’s confession-like admission, we just sat in silence for a long time.
“Do you want to go see him? He’ll be there if we go now. Today is the evening class.”
“…Shall we? The Emperor isn’t here anyway.”
With Joo Min-hyeok gone, now was the best timing to check on Seo-joo. Now that I’d heard the story, I had to confirm whether that Alpha was really Seo-joo or not. But now that it was time to go, I was scared. Scared that he really was Seo-joo and that he really wouldn’t recognize me. I missed him so much, yet my feet wouldn’t move.
∗ ∗ ∗
After barely leaving the palace and arriving at the location, I followed exactly where Hyun-wook led. I pulled my hat down low and wore a mask securely, so no one would recognize me.
The way felt too long and, at the same time, too short. My heart felt strange. The fear that I might be meeting the brother I had been searching for made me want to delay this encounter further. Eventually, I arrived there in the car with Hyun-wook.
The moment the gym doors opened, my heart nearly leaped out of my mouth. Sticking close to Hyun-wook’s back as I entered, I began to see people focusing on their exercise. Standing at the very back of the wide gym and looking around, someone caught my eye shortly after.
“…Eh?”
Among the many people, a man instantly captured my gaze. Seeing him, my pupils dilated and my mouth fell open. If our Seo-joo had grown up, he would have looked exactly like that. If our Seo-joo had turned twenty, he would have looked exactly….
∗ ∗ ∗
Before boarding the private jet, Min-hyeok took a phone call. His expression grew very dark as he listened without responding, and at one point, his Adam’s apple moved sharply as he grit his teeth.
“…I understand. Follow closely and be careful not to be caught.”
After ending the call, Min-hyeok checked the time. He had clearly told him to stay put in the palace. It seemed the Grand Imperial Concubine had no intention of listening to him. To receive a report that he had left in Kang Hyun-wook’s car.
He had always played only near the palace, so the news that he had traveled by car made anger surge within him. But the words that followed made Min-hyeok’s temper flare even more.
“He’s going to see Seo-joo. Seo-joo, Seo-joo…. I wonder where he found that cat. I’m quite curious myself. I wonder what breed it is to live this long. I must ask about things I’m curious about.”
You’d better answer well, Cha Hae-joo. Min-hyeok’s eyes were very fierce as he boarded the private jet. What should he ask? How should he make the Grand Imperial Concubine uncomfortable? He was extremely curious about how Hae-joo would respond.