By Zephyria 
It took a full day.
He saw the morning sun when he left, and he saw the same sun when he arrived.
The commotion in the early morning ended with Kwon Rae-i breaking the arms of four people, and Kwon Rae-i and Woo Tae-hwon returned to their residence by car. It took some time because they had to change the existing vehicle along the way. Eventually, when they arrived home, the dark sky was brightening and the sun was beginning to rise.
After parking in the garage, a strange silence accompanied them as they entered the house. Kwon Rae-i didn’t say a word, and Tae-hwon was also quiet. After unlocking the various locks on the gate and opening the firmly closed iron bars with a key and entering the living room, a faint sigh of relief flowed from Tae-hwon.
Even though it was only a place he had left for a day, the house felt welcome as if he had traveled a very long journey. Now it was finally just the two of them.
“Tae-hwon.”
Kwon Rae-i, who had entered the middle of the living room, stopped abruptly and called Tae-hwon.
The atmosphere he exuded was unusual.
“I can’t go back to being the familiar ten-year-old for Tae-hwon.”
Kwon Rae-i’s voice, which was muttering calmly, sounded like a person who was about to faint because he was resentful, sad, and distressed. Nevertheless, he was suppressing that emotion for now.
“I’m not a sick and weak child.”
Kwon Rae-i lowered his gaze and said firmly, chewing on his words. Tae-hwon affirmed him silently with his eyes.
“I can’t act like that anymore. Just as Tae-hwon can never see me as a romantic partner, I can never look at Tae-hwon with selfless eyes.”
Then silence began again. The scenery seemed to have stopped as if time had slowed down.
The brightly shining morning sunlight broke through the living room window and warmed the cold winter air, and dust sparkled and floated in the air. In it, only static breathing continued slowly. But the gazes looking at each other were turbulent.
His azure eyes rippled like waves. The injured side was covered with an eye patch, so only one eye was visible. As he examined Kwon Rae-i’s only eye, he suddenly felt like something had snapped in his head.
At that moment, Tae-hwon unknowingly took a step and approached him.
And he reached out his arm, which had almost been cut off.
He grabbed Kwon Rae-i’s cheeks with both hands, put strength into his fingertips, and slowly pushed his hands back to his temples, stroking his skin. Tae-hwon’s fingers caught on the eye patch string, and as the eye patch was lifted, his left eye, which had been covered, was revealed right in front of him.
As he completely removed the eye patch, clear azure eyes were immediately visible in front of him.
A hard scab was sitting on the scar on his eyelid.
Tae-hwon still didn’t answer and stroked Kwon Rae-i’s face. Then, he slowly touched the scarred area with his index finger. He touched the thin paper-like eyelid and also touched the eyelashes, which were densely arranged like delicate ornaments, strand by strand.
He felt a ticklish sensation when he touched his eyelashes. Kwon Rae-i’s body hair was thin and soft everywhere. As if his handsome appearance didn’t go anywhere, even the shape of his round ear was handsome. His earlobe was soft, and the hair that came down under his ear had a rustling texture that was quite nice.
His fingers rummaged through his hair roots and gradually passed over. Every time Tae-hwon swept it back, the bangs that fell like a curtain below his forehead fluttered.
Bright morning sunlight poured down on his hair, and the reflected light created a rainbow of various colors.
Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Purple. Just that alone made him breathless. He couldn’t take his eyes off him as if his gaze was caught.
“I know. Me too.”
Tae-hwon offered a very delayed reply.
“I, too, cannot treat you as I did back then, Master.”
“…Do you still want to cut off your arm? Do you need to end things with your own will, even if it means doing that, Tae-hwon?”
Tae-hwon calmly shook his head.
“Not anymore. It’s over now.”
“I see.”
“……”
“I see…”
Kwon Rae-i, trailing off, fell into thought. His gaze was fixed on Tae-hwon, but it was as if he were looking at some distant place beyond him.
“I didn’t intend to take everything from you, to leave you with nothing.”
“……”
“You filled the void left by erasing my past self with a new one. So, I merely…”
“……”
“Merely wanted you to accept me as I am now.”
Yes. I understand that feeling too.
Kwon Rae-i had accepted Tae-hwon as he was, with his memories erased.
Tae-hwon, opening his arms, embraced Kwon Rae-i tightly. Their bodies were pressed together, and he could feel his breath and presence, even count his heartbeats. Their hearts were pounding heavily, out of sync.
His heart rate was quite fast, while Tae-hwon’s was a bit slower.
He shared his warmth and patted his back.
Tap, tap. The comforting touch slowed, and at some point, he was simply holding Kwon Rae-i in his arms. Then, Tae-hwon realized. The heartbeats that had initially clashed like a dissonance were now becoming similar.
Tae-hwon’s heart rate had quickened. It was like a kind of resonance.
He finally felt closer to Kwon Rae-i.
He felt like he had taken a step closer to him.
Perhaps this is what relationships are like.
Holding Kwon Rae-i in his arms, Tae-hwon finally realized how lonely his life had been.
Tae-hwon had been lonely since birth, in an unfortunate situation with no one to rely on at home or in society. That was why he had been ignorant of affection and relationships. He had been saved by taking care of the young master, but perhaps the stability he had gained had been one-sided.
The reason he had felt warmth and found stability in the young Kwon Rae-i was because he had filled the void that had permeated Tae-hwon’s childhood.
Perhaps he had been projecting his own unfortunate self onto the young Kwon Rae-i. The young master he wanted to protect, perhaps it was the result of a strong desire to protect his own younger self.
So, in the end, Tae-hwon had never truly relied on anyone in the truest sense. He had only carried all the responsibility himself and moved forward.
A child can rely on an adult, but an adult cannot rely on a child.
An adult has to take responsibility for a child, but conversely, a child cannot take responsibility for an adult.
Tae-hwon could never rely on the young Kwon Rae-i. He couldn’t share the responsibility with him. But no one can live so lonely. He wasn’t steel, nor was he a rock. When he was weak, he needed to be able to lean on someone and share the responsibility with others.
Tae-hwon needed that experience.
All humans are bound to be with others, and it is unhappy to live alone, enduring everything.
Woo Tae-hwon had been nothing but unhappy so far.
Kwon Rae-i.
Tae-hwon felt that he could now rely on Kwon Rae-i, on him.
He felt that he could depend on him and ask for help.
He was no longer a child. He could treat him as an equal, someone who could share the responsibility and overcome hardships together.
It wasn’t because Tae-hwon had become weaker, or because Kwon Rae-i had become stronger. It wasn’t because he was worried about him, or because he needed him. It was just…
Just… Tae-hwon was, only now, no longer lonely.
“Let’s treat your hand now. You’re hurt.”
Tae-hwon released Kwon Rae-i from his embrace and murmured. His calm voice seemed no different than usual, but his mood was not the same as before.
“How can you grab a falling blade with your bare hands? And then punch with your injured hand.”
Tae-hwon turned and headed for the cabinet. He rummaged through the drawers, looking for the first aid kit. Kwon Rae-i stood there blankly, then followed Tae-hwon.
“Are you scolding me now? For getting a little hurt?”
He could feel fervent dissatisfaction from behind. Tae-hwon chuckled at the flushed Kwon Rae-i. A faint smile appeared on his lips.
“It’s a relief your arm is still attached.”
“Huh?”
“I’m thanking you for stopping me.”
“……”
“If I were alone, I wouldn’t have been able to stop.”
***
After that, they returned to a strange routine. With dangerous external circumstances and a bomb about to explode in his head, they enjoyed a moment of peace as if nothing had happened.
Of course, it couldn’t be exactly the same as before. Kwon Rae-i had to prepare for the Gyeongjeong with Jeun, so he occasionally had to leave Tae-hwon alone at home. As time went on, the frequency of his outings increased, and the time they spent apart grew longer, but it was something he had to endure.
Naturally, Kwon Rae-i always firmly closed and locked the iron bars whenever he went out. He had additional locks installed on the door, and even installed surveillance cameras and motion sensors in conspicuous places inside the house. Still, Tae-hwon didn’t complain much.
He had failed to go to the Gyeongjeong instead of Kwon Rae-i, he had failed to cut off his arm while he was gone, and now he had no intention of leaving him.
No, far from leaving him, he wanted to be with him.