By Zephyria Hugh Benson stayed glued to the site supervisor, and I, as Hugh ordered, didn’t look at him.
To be so close that our forearms would touch with someone, yet I wasn’t even allowed to look. I felt incredibly wronged, but thinking about mating all day was a bit difficult for me too, and I held back, worried he might later forbid me from even living next door.
As a result, as soon as dinner was over, Hugh Benson rushed over to me, huffing.
“Can I look now? Still not allowed? Where should I put my gaze?” he asked abruptly, his eyes darting around.
“Yes.”
“But why—!”
“—Yes?”
He stopped himself from getting angry and I watched him absentmindedly tear at his hair. Hugh often did this when he was frustrated. If I had gently held his wrist at the right moment, he wouldn’t have done it, but I was afraid he’d run away again if I touched him now, so I couldn’t act carelessly.
Hugh, seeing my hands held awkwardly, yelled, “Ugh!” and looked at the sky, then the ground, pointed accusingly, and kicked the floor. Watching the dust rise, I was simply bewildered. Did I do something wrong again?
“You, fuck, just tell me honestly.”
“Yes.”
“When did you start liking me?”
“Yes?”
“This time, in that cave? Was it there?”
“No.”
“Then, ha… What. That Artifact ring? When that sucker was throwing money around?”
“No.”
“…When we came to Withrow?”
I shook my head. Hugh’s voice gradually deepened.
“…Third year? Second year?”
I shook my head again.
“…First year? When we first met.”
I nodded.
“No, you crazy bastard, why on earth!”
“…”
“Ha, fuck, this damn shining personality. Hey, are you that easy? You just fall for it when someone’s nice to you? I should have just left you as the pathetic loser you were, ah.”
“…”
“No, wait, fuck, was I just too handsome? Ha, fuck… No, that’s not it.”
“…”
“Seriously, what the hell, how did it come to this?”
“…You don’t like it?”
Hugh snapped his mouth shut. Then, very slowly, he looked up at me.
It was an expression I hadn’t seen in years. His large eyes were moist, his tightly pursed lower lip kept parting, and his cheeks and earlobes were flushed a deep red. He looked like a perfectly ripe fruit.
Hugh, with such a beautiful face, murmured,
“…I really don’t understand why I feel like I’m doing something wrong…”
And then he grabbed me by the collar.
A subtle tremor spread between our lips, which had only lightly touched.
Hugh’s hand, which had grabbed my collar, was in a similar state. My neck, pulled taut by the rough twist of my shirt halfway around, ached numbly. The strength in my shoulders gradually faded, but the grip on Hugh’s hands only grew stronger.
Still, I didn’t want to escape. I stayed still. Just as it felt good when fingertips touched fingertips, shoulders touched shoulders, it felt warm with our lips pressed together. The moment stretched, as if time had been pulled long from both sides.
Hugh stared at me without blinking. So I didn’t close my eyes either.
Is there any color more precious, tender, and cherished than green in the desert? Hugh’s grass-colored eyes, now closer than they could possibly be, appeared even clearer. I read the traces of that grass-colored hue, the one that connects the lives that have bloomed to the lives yet to come, stitch by stitch.
The strength in Hugh’s hands slowly receded. Then, it became easier to breathe. From Hugh Benson’s chest, still a deep red, the loud thumping of his heart echoed. I tried to lower my head to hear it more closely, but Hugh pushed me hard in the chest with a thud and stepped back.
“…Fuck, look at this. What I, what I was thinking, ha, I knew this would happen…”
“Yes?”
“Ha, shit… You’re confusing me, you crazy bastard. Now shut up and get back to work.”
“…Confusing?”
“Liking me, what nonsense.”
“I like you.”
Hugh snorted and turned away. He turned his back and rubbed his lips vigorously with his fist. His neck, still a messy crimson, was fully visible. Strangely, Hugh’s voice had dropped significantly from before.
“I know. But that’s not how you like me.”
“…What?”
“Either way, it’s not.”
Then he yanked open the tent flap and ran off, leaving the spot.
I replayed what had just happened. Hugh thought I liked him, so he kissed me, and as a result, he concluded that I didn’t like him ‘that way’. I couldn’t understand what was what.
What’s different about liking someone ‘that way’?
Then how do I like Hugh?
Rumble.
A new wall grew from the base of the castle wall and attached itself.
The new walls of Castle Ernhardt were modeled after the walls of Withrow. They were five times taller than the original walls of Grimsvein. The walls, so tall, thick, and sturdy that even Ogres wouldn’t dare jump over them, grew longer by a fixed length each day.
Half of the Knights guarded the workers nearby, while the other half climbed ropes dangling from the yet-unfinished walls. There was no better watchtower for surveying the distance than the completed wall.
And I was among the half who had climbed onto the wall, as Hugh had ordered. Besides me, four Knights and one Wizard walked on the wide wall or sat leaning against the parapet, prepared for any potential accidents. Hugh, meanwhile, directed people from below.
Looking down from a high place, the whole world seemed so small, which I liked. But I disliked being far from Hugh.
From the distant forest, monster shadows always flickered.
Most monsters didn’t approach the construction site. This was thanks to the Knights hunting together and tearing apart the corpses of a few Ogres, leaving them scattered on the fields. Monsters weaker than Ogres were too scared to emerge, and monsters stronger than Ogres were rare to begin with.
Just then, a small, round, bright blue bird flew in from afar.
It was a message from the Emperor.
Hugh Benson, who had been sitting and talking with Samantha below, raised one hand high. The bird perched on Hugh’s hand as a makeshift perch. I wondered what the Emperor and Michael had discussed today, but from this distance, I couldn’t hear what the bird was saying or what Hugh was saying.
Will Hugh no longer read me any letters now?
The man Wizard standing next to me was talking so much my ears hurt.
“…So, the fact that we can build such magnificent walls this quickly is a miracle and Divine Grace in itself. Magic inherently requires the process of gathering scattered Mana and shaping it into Formulas, but the Sacred Tree standing in the middle of the Duchy is already preparing the clay for us.”
“…”
“If we could have built the walls right next to the Sacred Tree, the speed would have quadrupled. Still, we should be able to celebrate the new year festival properly, right? Everyone is getting used to the repetitive work, and the walls are almost complete. This is the first construction site in my short life with so many Wizards supporting it.”
“…”
“Even if Castle Ernhardt takes months to build, it only takes half a day to build a normal house, so the rest should be done quickly. I want to build the Magic Tower as soon as possible. Magic Tower construction. Are there any other Wizards who have achieved such a great feat?”
“…”
“By the time Castle Ernhardt is completed, we’ll be able to see Their Majesties up close, won’t we? Sir Brooks said he saw Their Majesties up close. Do they really look like their portraits? Actually, the higher the status, the more portraits tend to be idealized. I once painted a portrait like that…”
At that moment, Samantha, who had been sitting and talking with Hugh, suddenly stood up. Seeing her rubbing her face frantically with both hands, I felt a strange emptiness and hunger. I could talk face-to-face with Hugh too. If I were in her place, I wouldn’t have gotten angry like her. I wouldn’t have bothered Hugh, and I would have hugged him tightly when he seemed troubled…
Just then, Hugh shook his head and stood up.
I stared intently in that direction. I couldn’t see his expression clearly. Was he smiling? Ah, he’s looking this way. Are our eyes meeting now? I stepped onto the parapet, thinking of going down, but Hugh made a large X with his hands above his head.
Don’t go?
I stood still again and looked down at them. Hugh called a few nearby Knights and said something. The Knights, nodding, headed towards the tent with Samantha. Hugh sat down again. And I watched him…
Hugh no longer avoided me. But he no longer leaned on my shoulder, held my arm, or burrowed into my embrace like before. I wanted to know what change of heart had occurred, but there was no way to find out. My place was here now, on the castle wall.
Will we be able to be together when these walls are completed?
Where did it go wrong?
I wish I could kiss him again. I wanted to know what I did wrong and try again.
“Oh? Did you just sigh? What is it. Do you have something on your mind? I’m excellent at giving advice. You can lean on me anytime if something’s up. I heard through the grapevine that Sir Brooks’s love life is currently painful…”
“…”
It was good to live next door to Hugh. But what was the point of living next door if Hugh wouldn’t even show his face or talk to me? Even though it was Hugh Benson who saved me, brought me to Duke Ernhardt’s Territory, and was the first to bring up settling down.
I must have done something wrong again.
Still, it would be nice if he’d just tell me.
As I was lost in thought for a long time, a flickering shadow in the distance suddenly disappeared. Then another, and another, vanished one after another. They must have fought amongst themselves. Thinking that, I habitually looked up at the sky. Then I rubbed my eyes and looked up again.
There was a black star up there. A black star even in the daytime.
My body reacted first. I kicked off the parapet and leaped down.