WNC 322

“May I speak?”

It was natural to ask for clarification multiple times about common sense or emotions newly acquired since arriving in this land. However, with suspicious events piling up, I was uneasy, wondering if I was involving the children in unnecessary trouble.

And then, there was also the desire to continue living as Michael Ernhardt, a desire not to reveal the truth.

As I hesitated, unable to speak immediately, Elvin broke the silence.

“You may speak.”

“…Yes?”

How did he know what I was thinking?

As I looked at him in confusion, Ruben asked in my stead.

“…What do you know?”

Elvin glanced at Hugh for a moment, then made a sound that seemed to mix a whistle with the sound of the wind. Hugh Benson, who had been listening for a while, provided an explanation for each sentence Elvin spoke.

“He says he has also heard divine revelations since he was young, just like you.”

“…”

“However, the god of the desert is very capricious, selfish, violent, playful, narrow-minded, and talkative. So, I almost died once by believing the divine revelations as they were. That’s why… what?”

Hugh Benson’s jaw dropped. Marianne, seeing Hugh, shook the table and urged him on.

“So? What happened next?”

“Damn it, he just ignored it?”

“Pardon?”

Elvin, with his usual taciturn and nonchalant demeanor, simply nodded once. Then he said something, and Hugh Benson began to tear at his bangs. Hugh Benson continued his explanation.

“…Of course, sometimes it’s helpful, so I’ve been living by only listening to what I want to hear for a long time… But ever since I met Michael, it suddenly became so noisy that it was troublesome. He insisted I bring Michael to the oasis, but seeing as the situation and conditions weren’t right to take him, I just ignored it.”

“…Then, the mention you gave before.”

“Whenever it was too noisy to sleep, mentioning it would quiet him down for three or four days…”

Are divine revelations that common?

I stared blankly, unable to find words to reply. The other members of the party also let out sighs of exasperation. Elvin’s expression remained calm. His gaze, which I couldn’t fathom at all, quietly fixed on me. He spoke again in the Imperial language, sounding both hesitant and firm.

“You may speak what you know. Nothing will break with a few words.”

“…”

Could I trust him? A god described as so playful and violent.

I had known Elvin for over a year now. I mentally counted how many times he had mentioned the oasis to me. Twice. No, three times? It didn’t seem like a very large number. If he had been talking about the same thing for so long, even a playful god…

As I hesitated, unable to decide immediately, Marianne slammed the table with a loud bang!

“What are you doing! He said you can speak! Just tell us everything! What is it?”

“…It’s, my…”

I swallowed hard.

I wished I had a cup of tea in front of me. Ruben’s gaze felt like it was piercing my profile. The children’s eyes were all on me, which made me feel uneasy. It was more uncomfortable than when I had hesitated to speak in front of the professors before. I had shown them too many embarrassing situations.

Still, now that it had come to this, I couldn’t put it off any longer. I squeezed my eyes shut, clasped my hands tightly, and took a breath.

With my exhaled breath, my answer came out.

“…My, my past life’s… name.”

“…What?”

“My past life, …before I was born as Michael Ernhardt…”

It was fortunate that Sierren had the concept of past lives.

In countless romance novels, stories of reincarnation, souls inhabiting other bodies, or returning to past times were often told. Thanks to that, all the children understood what I was saying immediately.

The gaze on my cheek still felt ticklish. The inside of my tightly clasped hands was hot and damp.

Shameless. Conscience-less. How dare I.

But since I had opened my mouth, I felt I should tell them what I could. I didn’t want the children to be swept up in other matters because of me and suffer harm due to ignorance.

“…In my past life, I was a Sword Master of a certain family… Those skills I used and showed were learned then. In that land, each family had a swordplay style designated for primary use… I lived as I learned. …By chance, some were recognized for their skill, and I wandered through great nations…”

However, it was difficult to easily say that I had killed people.

I gritted my teeth, then exhaled again.

“…I lived my life killing evil enemies and demons. The Demonic Cult… that is, a religion that worships a very powerful martial artist as a god, raised a hundred thousand troops and waged a great war… I died there and woke up as a newborn.”

“…Whoa.”

“I was afraid that demons would attack again, so I hurried to start sword training as much as possible… The Sierran Empire was always peaceful, and so… I enrolled in the Academy… And after that, as you all know.”

My answer, delivered haltingly by me, who was not eloquent, was only this much.

What kind of answers could the children find from this? What if they blamed me, saying the world had begun to twist because I was reincarnated? What would I do? I would have to apologize and set out to correct what was wrong. With my heart thus calmed, I raised my head.

Most of the party members staring blankly at me looked astonished.

Hugh Benson slapped his right cheek once, then his left cheek. Marianne blinked her wide eyes, and next to her, Benjamin had his mouth hanging open in the same way. Only Elvin, as if he had expected it, crossed his arms and nodded once.

And Ruben.

…I couldn’t bring myself to look towards Ruben. I was very curious about what expression he had as he looked at me, but I lacked the courage.

After staring at my face blankly for a long time, Marianne asked.

“…How old were you in your past life?”

Surprisingly, it was the question I feared the most.

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I opened it again… and closed it again. Heat rose to my earlobes.

“…Thir, thirty.”

It was a lie.

But even that turned the children upside down.

“Thirty? Thir-ty? No, wow, that’s crazy. No wonder I thought the seniors studying looked like cute bunnies. I should have known then! I thought you were just playing a character, or worse!”

“…You were already a Sword Master once? I, on the other hand, just… Ah.”

“Still, it’s similar to Hugh Benson senior, right? Not like you’re completely old!”

“I’m still in my twenties, you know?”

“Ah, anyway!”

…

My heart tightened. If conscience had a physical form, it would have melted away by now.

Unable to say anything, I covered my eyes with one hand and lowered my head. The black hair falling beside my cheek was familiar. Since I hadn’t removed the disguise yet, it felt as if I were sitting in Namgung Jeong-yeon’s body, making me even more embarrassed.

“…Do you believe me?”

“Of course, we believe you! What about the divine revelations and all that? If Michael had been even a little less strange normally, we wouldn’t have believed it, but since he’s always been so strange, we just believe it. Wow, crazy. Reincarnation.”

“…”

“Whoa, then was that why you asked about time magic when you were reading that book before? Asking if regression was real?”

“…Yes.”

However, I had to say this. Gritting my teeth, I spoke.

It sounded like I was speaking to Marianne, but it was no different than speaking to Ruben.

“However… I hope you will continue to treat me comfortably, as you have been.”

“Ah, of course! What does it matter how old you were in your past life? You’re seventeen now, reborn. Even if you know the experimental values, if it’s reset, you have to measure it from the beginning.”

“…Ah.”

…Is that so?

I hoped it was. After pouring everything out, I felt both relieved and more anxious.

Ruben placed his hand over mine on the back of my hand again. My hand was warm, but his hand was cold. Was it right for me to hold this hand and warm it? Hesitating, I couldn’t move.

Hugh Benson, who had long since stopped tearing at his hair and had pulled out a few strands, raised his head and asked.

“Who else knows about this?”

“…No one. I haven’t told anyone, lest they be harmed.”

“…Really?”

At that moment, Benjamin suddenly spoke up.

“…The rumor from when you were young, that you defeated demons and saved the world in a past life…”

“That’s…!”

“Wow. Is that true?”

“No, it’s not. It was a misunderstanding that spread when I was talking with the family knights! I didn’t save it; I was just one of many knights, and I died without knowing the outcome of the war…!”

“Wow, it’s more surprising that it’s true…”

“No, it’s not!”

I was extremely embarrassed and flustered. I never dreamed that the things I had said carelessly before I knew the world would carry on until now. I had said them when I was young, before I was eight, so everyone thought they were jokes and had long forgotten them, but how could they still be talking about them?

Ruben pressed each of my finger joints and gently pulled my hand. To look at him.

My body reacted before I could think at that gentle gesture. Unconsciously, my gaze met Ruben’s. Ruben had a strangely solemn expression. I wished there was a mirror. I wondered what expression I had as I looked at him.

Ruben looked at me intently, then drew my fingertips and pressed his lips to them, then pulled away.

…What did that mean?

I just stared with wide eyes. The child then turned his gaze away coyly.

I was restless again, feeling anxious for no reason.

Gratefully, the children didn’t pry further into my past life. They just made a few jokes, saying they knew it all along, and then quickly changed the subject. I accepted their consideration with thanks and said nothing more.

Instead, we talked about the most urgent matters. Things like what supplies to pack for the desert, what we might hear in the future, and why the god was specifically calling me.

Tedros would take care of the clothing and supplies, so there was no need to worry. Opinions were divided on why the god was calling me.

For me to be a solution to something… I was still too weak.

Around the time I reached the vicinity of the Yuil Mountains, I had accumulated an immense amount of internal energy. I could now use swordplay I couldn’t before, and I could cut to ranges I hadn’t imagined.

But that was all. My current strength was that of a Sword Master, fitting the realm of understanding I had gained, sufficient for a seventeen-year-old but insufficient for a sixty-two-year-old.

There were an unusual number of strong individuals in this land.

To surpass them, wouldn’t more enlightenment be necessary?

Was the god a being of a higher realm than Hwagyeong? Or was it another race entirely, like dragons and the like? The masters who had lived in the Central Plains for over two hundred years were called ancient monsters. If the god’s nature was violent and impetuous, there would be no greater monster.

I knew nothing, so I had nothing to add. I was just anxious and uneasy, my throat dry.