#99

There was no need to go up to the youth association office. Meeting the youth president would be awkward. So, I took the man to the living room on the first floor. After sitting him down on the floor, I fetched some water and brought it to him. I handed him the cup, but he was trembling so much that he couldn’t bring it to his mouth properly. He seemed more startled than I had expected. Reluctantly, I squatted next to him and held the cup to his lips.

“Here, open your mouth. A bit wider. That’s it. Drink. Quickly.”

As I coaxed him like a child, he finally started to drink. At first, he just licked at it, but then he gulped it down well. He must have been very thirsty. After drinking three cups, color returned to the pale man’s face.

“Are you feeling a bit better?”

I asked gently, looking into his eyes.

He slowly nodded. After exhaling several shallow breaths that were almost sighs, he suddenly stood up.

“Where are you going?”

I stood up too and asked urgently.

“To the orchard. I need to go back since I left while working.”

He said, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

“No, you just got your senses back, and you want to work in this blazing sun? Ki-beom, you could get into serious trouble.”

“I’m fine now.”

“That’s what you think. And the owner and his wife of the orchard are all here, right?”

“…They’ll be back soon.”

“Why are you going first when it’s not even your own orchard?”

I pretended to hit my chest in frustration at his stubbornness.

“I’m getting paid to work, so I need to hurry. You should rest here, Tae-heun. It’s too hot; you could get heatstroke.”

“And what, Ki-beom, are you immune to heatstroke?”

“I’m fine. I’ve worked in worse weather than this.”

He was being obstinate. It seemed impossible to change his mind.

“I really can’t stop you, can I? Do as you please; I’ll do what I want too.”

Saying this, I followed him closely. He urged me to go back several times, but when I argued that I wouldn’t listen to him since he was being stubborn too, he fell silent. Just as we were about to leave the community center, I remembered the hamburger I had bought for him.

“Wait a minute!”

At my shout, he stopped.

“Just one minute. I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting for his response, I dashed back into the community center. I climbed the stairs two at a time and opened the office door. It was still locked. I was relieved to avoid an awkward encounter with Choi Gi-cheol. I took the key from the flowerpot, went inside, and grabbed the paper bag I had left on the table.

I was worried about what would happen if I just left, but the man was waiting. Of course, he didn’t wait until I got close; as soon as he stepped out, he turned his back and walked away. I chased after him.

I thought he had come by truck, but he was just walking toward the orchard. I looked back at the community center, searching for my car parked in the lot.

“No way, did you walk all the way here from there?”

I asked, trying to catch my breath. It sounded almost like a complaint.

“I came on a motorcycle.”

“Then you should go back on the motorcycle too. Why are you walking?”

“It’s not mine.”

“Who doesn’t know that? If you’re not going to ride a motorcycle, let’s take my car.”

“I want to walk. I want to walk.”

His voice sounded distant as he said this. Feeling as if he might disappear from sight, I hurried to catch up with him.

Today, he was limping noticeably. I wondered if he had worn different boots, enough to take a second look. But it was the same faded red boots he always wore.

“Does your leg hurt?”

“A little.”

“Did you twist it?”

“No. It happens sometimes.”

“Don’t you want to go to the hospital?”

“Yeah. Even if I go, there’s nothing but physical therapy.”

He answered in a resigned tone.

“Should I carry you?”

I was serious, but he just laughed briefly.

“What, do you think I can’t carry you? That’s a bit hurtful.”

I kept talking to him. I was scared if he fell silent. I worried he might have bad thoughts. I couldn’t shake off that vague feeling. I was particularly concerned about the man who had ingested pesticides, and I thought his suicide attempt was not unrelated to his financial situation. So, I couldn’t let my guard down.

“Ki-beom, I’ll solve everything for you!”

The unexpected words slipped out. The man looked back at me with a puzzled expression.

“So, whatever it is, if you just say it, I’ll take care of it!”

I added, almost like a speech. I insisted to him that I would handle his matters, proclaiming it without any basis. His eyes widened for a moment before he smiled faintly.

“Thank you, even if it’s just words.”

It wasn’t just words, but I stopped myself. The man was not in a state to entertain my wordplay, whether joking or serious. So instead of dragging out the conversation, I recited an article I had read at the PC room.

“Did you know that to get married at a decent wedding hall, you need to book at least six months in advance? The ceremony time is only 30 minutes. Even roasting beans over a lightning strike would take longer than that. The more expensive places give you about 45 minutes, but even then, the guests get mixed up. Hotels are much better, but you have to book a year in advance, right? I don’t have anyone to invite, so I don’t have to worry about mixed guests, but how many can you invite, Ki-beom? If you have to invite all the elders in the neighborhood, you should book a bigger place. If you’re okay with it, it would be nice to have it at a hotel even if it takes a bit longer.”

I rambled on while sipping kimchi soup. I heard that honeymoon trips are all abroad, and the Maldives is rumored to be paradise. But it takes two nights and three days just to get there. Nowadays, they say they shoot not only at wedding halls but also outdoors.

The man, who had been quietly listening, gradually began to respond to my words.

“Do they shoot outside as well as at the wedding hall?”

“Yeah. I think that’s trendy. They do a lot of packages like that. Of course, they also film videos.”

“Outdoor shooting seems embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing about it? It’s only once in a lifetime, so you should do it.”

Just imagining it was enjoyable.

“Ji-hye can wear a dress and take pictures with us.”

Mentioning the child brought a smile to the man’s stiff face.

“Will Ji-hye wear pink?”

“I guess so.”

The two of us talked as if we were really planning a day.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s all thanks to me.”

I spread my palm and pretended to blow breath into him. His smile deepened. I wished he could keep smiling like that, but it quickly turned back to a blank expression. Although he was usually stoic, he had never wiped his expression away like that, leaving me anxious.

“Ki-beom, don’t do that. Smile. Don’t you know I like to see you smile?”

I pouted and begged him to smile. The kind man couldn’t ignore my request and forced a smile. At least that was something. I exaggeratedly expressed my joy and linked my arm with his.

“Someone might see us.”

He tried to shake me off. I playfully grabbed his arm again, and he brushed me off in annoyance. Twice, three times. Eventually, he burst into genuine laughter.

“Tae-heun, you’re really childish. I should have Ji-hye call you ‘older sister.'”

“I can be called whatever you want, Ki-beom. But if Ji-hye calls me ‘older sister,’ then you would have to be my father, and I wonder if that’s okay. That would be a bit inappropriate, wouldn’t it, to be with your father?”

As I subtly brought up yesterday’s incident, the man’s face turned bright red in an instant.

“No, why does the conversation keep going that way?”

The man grumbled, quickening his pace. He almost started to run, creating distance between us. I chased after him, laughing. The back of his neck was flushed red.

When we arrived at the orchard, both the man and I were drenched in sweat. It was understandable after walking such a long way in this heat. Still, I didn’t mind.

I looked up at the blazing sun. My skin felt like it was burning, but it felt more natural than uncomfortable. The scorching sun and the sweat flowing like water felt like they had always belonged to me.

“You didn’t have a snack, did you?”

“No.”

He said he had heard about the pesticide incident just before snack time. Everyone, including the orchard owner and his wife, had dropped everything to go there.

I took him to the shade and handed him the hamburger bag.

“Eat this. I bought it for you, Ki-beom.”

“What about you, Tae-heun?”

“Of course, I ate. It was quite tasty. There are surprisingly many good places in Hwangmu-eup.”

I took out the hamburger for the hesitant man. One side of the bag was wet and about to tear. The culprit was the cola cup. I almost spilled the contents all over the floor.

“The ice has all melted.”

I complained as I took out the cola cup.

The man held the hamburger with both hands as if it were a precious item.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah. Ji-hye likes hamburgers too.”

“Really? It seems we have the same taste. We both like red bean bread. Right?”

“Exactly. It’s amazing.”

The man smiled broadly.

“What did you have for hangover soup?”

“Ramen.”

“I figured as much. I have hamburgers for hangover soup. They work wonders.”

“Hamburgers?”

He asked with his mouth full of hamburger.

“Yeah. Maybe because it has meat, it settles my stomach well.”

Seeing him eat happily made me feel warm inside. I offered him the cola cup, worried he might choke.

“Tae-heun, you should drink too. It’s refreshing.”

I didn’t really want to drink cola, but I did it because I wanted to suck on the straw he had used. It was childish, but it felt good. Then he offered me a bite of his hamburger.

“I already had two before coming.”

“Still, just take one bite.”

“Oh, come on.”

This time, I brought my mouth to the side he had bitten. I took a small bite and patted my stomach.

“See? I’ve eaten so much that my abs are gone.”

I lifted my shirt.

“It’s all your fault, Ki-beom. I ate what you gave me, and look what happened. It was too delicious.”

I blamed the man. It wasn’t just a casual remark; it was the truth. Since living with him, I had gained weight. The weight I had lost during the 16 days of near-fasting at the safe house had quickly returned, and even without exercising, I had gained more muscle. Even now, my clothes fit snugly, and if I stayed like this, they would soon become too small.

“That’s how it is.”

“What do you mean that’s how it is? Can’t you see my belly sticking out?”

I intentionally flexed my stomach, and the man laughed.

My abs were still intact. They weren’t built in a day or two, so they wouldn’t disappear quickly. But still, it was embarrassing to have a belly when I was trying to impress the man. I resolved to pay more attention to my figure to look good for him.

“Don’t just look with your eyes; touch it.”

I urged the man, who was holding the hamburger.

“Quickly. When there are no people around.”

I pulled his wrist.

“Tae-heun, come on.”

Reluctantly, he placed his hand on my stomach. Unaware that he had gotten sauce on his hand, he touched my belly. Ketchup and mayonnaise smeared where his hand had passed.

“I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up quickly.”

The flustered man took a napkin from the bag and awkwardly wiped my belly. Even that small touch made my heart race. I was breathless.

“I wish Ki-beom would suck it for me.”

I whispered lowly, almost like a sigh.

The man pretended not to hear and roughly wiped my belly. Then he turned his body and finished eating the hamburger. He gulped down the cola as well. Suddenly, he treated me like I was invisible.

“Hey, can’t I even say anything?”

I grumbled, staring into the void.

I wanted to roll around with the man.

With him, it felt like anything would be possible, even in this blazing sun.

The cicadas cried out.

Buzzing, it cried out loudly.