#73

Even after arriving in front of Kwon Il-taek’s house, I couldn’t bring myself to wake him. I wondered what time we would meet. As I started to worry that I might be late for our appointment because I hadn’t woken him, a foreign car entered the alley. It was Kwon Il-taek. His small, slender frame was a spitting image of his son, Kwon Yong-jun. However, he looked much older than I had expected. No matter how young he looked, he seemed to be in his late sixties, and I guessed he was well over seventy. If he wasn’t the child he brought, then Kwon Yong-jun seemed to be the late-born child of the family.

As soon as Kwon Il-taek saw the familiar truck, he smiled. He lightly tapped the truck with his palm and approached the driver’s seat. I rolled down the window. I wasn’t surprised that the driver wasn’t a man.

“Oh my, there’s someone else here. Nice to meet you. I’m Kwon Il-taek. I heard a movie star was coming to our village, but I didn’t expect to meet you here.”

Kwon Il-taek introduced himself cheerfully, using honorifics towards me, who was almost young enough to be his grandson. The man opened his eyes immediately at Kwon Il-taek’s voice.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Kim Tae-heun.”

I nodded my head slightly.

The man quickly rubbed his sleepy eyes and greeted Kwon Il-taek.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

Kwon Il-taek asked the man kindly.

“No, not at all. I was just waking up, Chairman.”

That damn “Chairman.”

I really hated hearing that.

“Let’s not linger here and go inside quickly.”

After saying this, Kwon Il-taek took long strides ahead.

“Dear! Ki-beom is here. And he brought a handsome guest with him.”

Unlike Kwon Yong-jun, who had a high-pitched voice, Kwon Il-taek’s voice was quite deep. He stood upright, and even his gait was strong. He had the typical appearance of someone who had aged gracefully, showing no signs of hardship.

At Kwon Il-taek’s call, the front door opened.

“Come on in.”

A lively voice welcomed the three of us. The woman, who looked to be in her mid-sixties, had her gray hair tied back in a bob, and there were no signs that she had tried to look younger. Like her husband, her voice and demeanor exuded a sense of ease.

“What are you doing standing out there? Make yourself at home.”

Kwon Il-taek urged me, who was standing at the door.

“Yes. Then I’ll excuse myself.”

I took off my shoes, watching the back of the man who had already entered.

“Ki-beom, why do you disappear every summer? Don’t overdo it; take it easy. You’ll just wear yourself out trying to do good for others.”

Unlike Officer Oh, Kwon Yong-jun’s mother was concerned about the man’s health. Her small, white hand gently patted his back, and it felt very natural. If the man hadn’t scratched his head and said, “I’m fine,” without adding “ma’am,” I would have thought he was the son of this house. I felt a twinge of discomfort for no reason.

“Oh my, the rumor about you being a movie star was true. Nice to meet you. I’m Jo Young-ae.”

Unlike most mothers who refer to themselves as “someone’s mom,” Kwon Il-taek’s wife introduced herself by her name.

“Hello. I’m Kim Tae-heun.”

I smiled, hiding my discomfort.

“Oh my, your voice is so nice. My goodness.”

Jo Young-ae clasped her hands to her chest in admiration.

“Come on, don’t just stand there; sit down. Dear, get us something to drink.”

“Oh right, I’m losing my mind. I’m so dazzled by having two handsome men here.”

At Jo Young-ae’s joke, the couple laughed at each other. It wasn’t an act for show; it was a genuine display of affection. They were the epitome of a harmonious couple. The family they had built must have been peaceful for a lifetime.

Unlike the painful memories that surfaced every time I saw a man and a child, this time I felt numb. I thought it might be because it was too surreal, and I recalled Kwon Yong-jun from the room salon I had met yesterday.

The man seemed to be enjoying himself, smiling broadly as he chatted with Kwon Il-taek about recent events. In the meantime, Jo Young-ae brought out some sweet rice drink she had made herself. It tasted just like the one I had at the man’s house. However, drinking it from a crystal glass instead of a bowl made me feel a bit uneasy.

“Does it suit your taste?”

Jo Young-ae asked with eager eyes. Of course, it tasted good.

“Of course. It’s the same as the one at Ki-beom’s house, right?”

I looked at the man. He grinned widely and nodded.

“Oh my, you guessed it. This guy can’t tell the difference even after drinking it his whole life.”

Jo Young-ae shot a playful glance at Kwon Il-taek. Kwon Il-taek felt embarrassed, saying, “Hehe, this guy,” while the man looked at him and smiled foolishly.

Thirty minutes felt so long.

I regretted not sending the man inside alone. Kwon Il-taek kept showing off, saying, “I’m a good person,” while Jo Young-ae was busy teasing her husband.

They were clearly good people. There was no sense of pretense at all. Some people are born kind and good, and it seemed that the two people in front of me, including the man, were just like that.

I fully understood why the man liked them. Yet, I couldn’t feel the same way. Perhaps it was a habit formed from viewing the world with a twisted heart my whole life; I found them utterly unappealing. I would have preferred if they were at least pretentious. If they had acted cultured or sophisticated, it would have been much better. Or if they were vulgar like VIPs who are obsessed with money despite having more than enough, I could have laughed at them to my heart’s content.

But the more I talked to them, the more I realized that both were humble and incredibly down-to-earth. The only blemish in their lives was that their youngest son was a homosexual, and they had married while hiding that fact. Of course, that was assuming I knew that fact.

The man, completely unaware of my discomfort, kept smiling.

“I have something to discuss with Ki-beom alone; may I excuse myself for a moment?”

Kwon Il-taek asked for my understanding. I felt a surge of relief. After cursing him in my mind, I was grateful that he was giving me a chance to escape, and I found myself bowing slightly.

“Yes, please do, Chairman.”

I even called him “Chairman,” a title that didn’t sit well on my tongue.

As soon as Kwon Il-taek and the man disappeared into the study, I stood up from the sofa. Jo Young-ae looked slightly surprised.

“I’m sorry, but may I step out for a smoke?”

I asked politely.

“Of course. Just a moment.”

Jo Young-ae readily permitted me and hurried to the kitchen.

“Use this as an ashtray. There’s no trash can outside.”

She handed me a paper cup with about a third of water in it. Instead of telling me not to throw my butts on the floor, she thoughtfully provided me with an ashtray. It felt suffocating somehow. I smiled and agreed. As soon as I stepped outside, I crumpled the paper cup. I shook my wet palm in the air.

The air had become even more humid, and the sky was still filled with dark clouds. I thought there would surely be cigarettes somewhere in my pants pocket, but there weren’t any. When I opened the truck door to look for cigarettes, a fishy smell wafted out from a plastic bag inside the car. I hurriedly opened both the car door and window.

Then I rummaged through the glove compartment. The cigarettes that Kwon Yong-jun had left behind were still there. The number of cigarettes in the pack was the same as when I had smoked them.

The man didn’t touch Kwon Yong-jun’s cigarettes but deliberately took out the ones I had left in my car to smoke. He might have done it without thinking, but the fact that he thought of me before Kwon Yong-jun was significant.

I shivered as I recalled the moment we shared a cigarette early this morning. With a smile on my lips, I took out a cigarette and put it in my mouth. I flicked the lighter and lit it. I took a deep drag. Exhaling slowly, I looked at the brand name on the lighter. It was from the very room salon where I had met Kwon Yong-jun and his group yesterday.

“Looks like he’s quite the regular.”

I scoffed.

As I exhaled the smoke, I cast my gaze far away. Everywhere I looked was filled with dark clouds. I had been smoking absentmindedly, and before I knew it, the cigarette had turned into a stub.

It seemed the conversation between the man and Kwon Il-taek was dragging on. However, I hesitated to smoke another one. If I was going to smoke, I wanted to do it with the man, using the fishy smell as an excuse.

Thinking this, I turned my gaze to the beautiful country house and saw Jo Young-ae standing in front of the large glass window of the living room. She seemed to have been watching me all along, not moving at all. She waved her hand towards me, and I returned the gesture in kind.

By the way, did that woman see the bruise on Kwon Yong-jun’s face?

Even though the bruise had almost faded, if she had seen it on the day he got hit, no matter how forgiving a mother she was, she would have been shocked. If Kwon Yong-jun was the affectionate youngest son, someone would have told her everything, and even if not, rumors would have spread about him getting drunk and causing trouble, so she couldn’t possibly be unaware of the connection between me and the man. Yet neither Jo Young-ae nor Kwon Il-taek mentioned anything about it. There was no sign of blame at all.

They were truly saintly people.

I bit down on my cigarette.

“Why are they taking so long?”

When they were about to come out, I felt impatient, even though only 15 minutes had passed. The man was probably looking at Kwon Il-taek with a gaze filled with affection. Kwon Il-taek would be doing the same. Even though they weren’t in a romantic relationship, I was consumed by an irrational jealousy. I felt like barging back inside and causing a scene.

Just five more minutes.

I promised myself this as I stared at the front door.

How long had I been waiting? Just as I was about to barge in, the front door suddenly swung open. Finally, the man appeared. For a moment, I was glad, but then I noticed how grateful he seemed, bowing repeatedly. The humble couple waved their hands, telling him not to do that, while they helped him straighten up and patted his back. Jo Young-ae even hugged him.

But the man seemed unsatisfied, bowing his head towards the door even after it closed.

It was dizzying. That sight resembled the last moments of a father from a two-story house. Though they were completely different in height, build, and age, the two figures overlapped in my mind.

In an instant, the world turned upside down. I found myself standing in the flowerbed of the two-story house. A tattooed giant waved at me, saying, “Manager, aren’t you coming in?” I felt utterly disgusted. I wanted to scream at him to just leave me alone.

Breathing heavily, I closed my eyes.

“Did you wait long? I’m sorry.”

I opened my eyes again at the man’s voice. I knew I was in Kwon Il-taek’s garden, but my heart still lingered in that two-story house. Guilt, a pang of conscience. Regret. Countless emotions that could not be defined by any word tormented me.

“I should have come alone. I was short-sighted.”

The man attributed my silence to himself.

“What are you talking about? I also wanted to meet the Chairman and see what kind of person he is.”

I was sincere. The man had kept singing praises of the Chairman, and I had been curious about what kind of person he was.

“Your wife is beautiful. Even if she’s not as good-looking as our Ki-beom.”

I tried to sound cheerful, mixing in a joke.

I wanted to get out of here quickly.

“Where shall I take you this time?”

I politely extended my hands and pointed to the truck, and the man smiled.

It was rare for him to have a day off in the afternoon. I thought he would suggest going to someone’s field or farm, or maybe a greenhouse. But the man replied, “Home.” The moment he said “home,” I also wanted to go home.

The man’s home, the child’s home. And now, it was also my home. That place, like a deserted island. I climbed into the car with determination.