#51

The man ate ramen as if his lips were perfectly fine. He occasionally frowned, but it didn’t seem like he was particularly bothered. Was he the type to enjoy pain like himself?

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s bearable. How about you, Tae-heun?”

“I’m fine. You can’t tell just by looking.”

He gave a teasing remark. A chuckle escaped.

“Serves you right, right?”

“Yes.”

“If Ji-hye sees you, it’ll be a big deal.”

“If she makes a fuss, it’ll be a relief. I bet she won’t let you drink again.”

A smile appeared on the man’s lips.

How cruel must the words he had said to a man who was overjoyed just thinking about his child be? Tae-heun deeply regretted what he had said in the early morning.

“I think there’s a beggar in my stomach. Should I eat some rice?”

“Yes. There’s cold rice.”

The man brought a bowl of rice with the lid on, which he had prepared earlier.

The two shared the rice amicably, eating it together. Just yesterday, he had been trembling with betrayal, but now he found himself smiling simply because he was sharing a meal with the man.

“By the way, why are you taking the day off today?”

Tae-heun asked as he set down his spoon.

“I have somewhere to go.”

The man hesitated.

“Where? Is it a place you can’t tell me about?”

“Not really.”

After a brief pause, the man answered.

“My uncle is in a nursing home in Chungju.”

“Your uncle? Is he not doing well?”

“Yes. He can’t recognize people. He drank so much that he has cirrhosis.”

“It seems you were close with your uncle.”

“No, not really.”

The man avoided giving detailed explanations.

“It’s not far from here, so I visit him about once a month.”

Not close, yet he still visits.

Tae-heun thought it was undoubtedly a visit driven by affection, done reluctantly. Did his parents request it? Since family was being discussed, he thought he might as well ask.

“What about your parents, Ki-beom? Are both of them alive?”

“No.”

The man answered shortly. His tone was firm, as if to say not to ask further.

Both parents deceased. Younger brother deceased. Regardless of which came first, there was a lot of death surrounding a man who was only thirty-three. Was that why he was so tough? Having experienced so much at a young age. Tae-heun was curious.

“Can I go with you to visit your uncle? I have nothing to do if I’m alone anyway.”

The man thought for a moment and then nodded. Tae-heun was surprised that he agreed so easily. He was unexpectedly unpredictable.

“By the way, both of our faces look like this, so the hospital staff might be surprised. They might mistake us for gangsters.”

“Surely not.”

They both laughed and tidied up the table.

While the man did the dishes, Tae-heun washed up. The temperature had dropped sharply due to the rain. The water was so cold it sent shivers down his spine, instantly taking away the heat and sweat. Thanks to that, he felt wide awake.

He turned off the shower and stood in front of the mirror. His face was red, perhaps from the cold water. The skin around his eyes was also red. His left cheek, which had been hit by the man, was bruised, and his left lip was torn, with a thin scab forming. He swept his damp bangs away.

Leaving his own towel behind, he dried himself with the man’s old green towel. He paid special attention to drying his private parts. If he knew it was wet, he wouldn’t use this towel, but he still wanted to do it. It was childish, but what could he do about wanting to?

Tae-heun hung the towel back and crossed over to the room while still naked. As he put on his underwear and pants, he heard the sound of water. It seemed the man was finally taking a shower.

Even if he couldn’t recognize people, he was still going to meet the man’s uncle. He wanted to look good. He took out the best shirt he had. As he buttoned up the shirt and stepped out of the room, he ran into the man, who had just finished showering. The man was only in his underwear, holding Tae-heun’s white towel.

“That towel, I thought you weren’t using it.”

The man said, as if to explain.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I just grabbed whatever was at hand to dry off, and it turned out to be Ki-beom’s towel. Is that okay?”

“Yes. But mine is quite old, so next time, use Tae-heun’s.”

“What’s the difference? They’re all just towels.”

“Well… yes.”

The man limped out to the living room.

His small, firm buttocks, which were well-toned without any fat, and his smooth thighs and calves with just the right amount of muscle were truly pleasing to the eye. Tae-heun had known from the start that the man had a good body. Hadn’t he seen the slightly different colors of his buttocks, thighs, and calves, as if they had been treated with a gradient?

Thoughts kept drifting elsewhere overnight. Did the man only sleep with him, or had Kwon Yong-jun also been with that butt? Imagining Kwon Yong-jun, who was smaller in height and build than the man, climbing on top of him brought to mind a cicada clinging to an old tree. A chuckle escaped him.

The man went into the bedroom to get dressed. Tae-heun, who had finished preparing first, stood on the floor. It was still raining, but it seemed like it would clear up soon. The dark clouds were thinning.

Tae-heun’s leather shoes were a mess with mud. Where had he put his sneakers?

“Ki-beom, have you seen my sneakers?”

Tae-heun shouted. The man peeked out from the bedroom, dressed in running clothes.

“They’re in the shoe cabinet.”

Tae-heun stepped down from the threshold and put on the man’s slippers before opening the shoe cabinet near the storage room. Inside the five-tier shoe cabinet were not only shoes but also a child’s jump rope and a deflated ball. Even the odds and ends were neatly organized, not cluttered at all. He was indeed a diligent and tidy man.

On the top shelf of the shoe cabinet were Tae-heun’s white Nike sneakers and beach sandals. They were definitely dirty, but the sneakers were pristine white. If it weren’t for the man, no one would have washed them. Tae-heun carefully picked up the sneakers as if they were treasures. They had a faint smell of soap. A smile spread across his face.

He whistled while looking at the other shoes. Under his sneakers were a child’s sandals and pink shoes, and as he moved down to the third shelf, he saw two pairs of the man’s shoes. Tae-heun examined the man’s shoes closely. One was familiar from when he went to church, but the other was almost new.

He set his sneakers down on the floor and picked up the man’s new shoes. They looked custom-made like boots, but the weight was uneven on both sides. Unlike the somewhat clumsy-looking boots, these were crafted so intricately that it was hard to tell at a glance. The shoes, which seemed to have cost a fair amount, were polished to a shine, and the heels showed almost no wear. They were clearly meant to be worn only on special occasions. He wondered when that day would be.

Before he knew it, the man had come out to the floor.

“What shoes are you wearing, Ki-beom? I can get them for you.”

“No, it’s fine. I can get them myself.”

“Why go through the trouble? Let me get them for you.”

The man, with an apologetic expression, said, “Then…”

“There should be two pairs of shoes; please take out the new ones.”

“Oh.”

That was disappointing.

To wear those nice shoes for his uncle in a nursing home, of all people.

He wondered if there was a woman he had in mind at the hospital, but then corrected himself regarding the gender. A strange jealousy arose. If the other person was a doctor, he was definitely at a disadvantage. Then he remembered that he was only at a disadvantage to Kwon Yong-jun. Honestly, it felt a bit unfair to say he was at a disadvantage. If the man had enjoyed it, it would have been different; instead, he had been sleeping soundly, oblivious. Had he even gotten an erection? He set the man’s shoes down on the threshold while lost in such trivial thoughts.

The man sat on the floor and slipped his feet into the shoes. He held a small shoehorn in his hand. With his short hair neatly styled and his shirt looking of better quality than the one he wore to church, Tae-heun didn’t like that the man had dressed up while he himself had made an effort to look presentable. Why was he dressing up just to visit a nursing home? He was convinced that there was definitely someone he had in mind, and as that conviction settled in, he felt a surge of irritation.

He had planned to drive him in a Benz, but decided against it.

“Ki-beom, you’re going to look for your truck, right? Let’s take that while we’re at it. My car is in bad shape after driving on a dirt road yesterday. It should be fine for town, though.”

“I only need to go to town. I’m going to the intercity bus terminal anyway.”

The man’s voice sounded excited as he said this.

“The terminal? Why there?”

“There’s a direct bus to Chungju. It’s convenient, and I like the feeling of going on a trip when I take it.”

The man smiled shyly.

“No, what bus?”

Just thinking about the smell from the bus made him frown.

“It’s hot out, so let’s just take my car. I’ll drive you comfortably.”

Tae-heun immediately changed his mind.

“But you said it’s in bad shape. What if it breaks down for no reason?”

“I was just saying that.”

“It’s fine. A private car is good, but I prefer the bus.”

The man was stubborn.

“Alright, I understand.”

Understand what? It would just be a matter of driving to the nursing home.

Thinking this to himself, he stepped down into the yard.

Before leaving the house, the man fed and watered the dogs, greeting them affectionately. Despite the scabs and bruises on his lips and ears, he smiled brightly. He seemed completely at ease, as if nothing had happened. Tae-heun felt the same way. His heart was calm enough to wonder if such intense events had really occurred in the early morning.

The wheels of the Benz were caked with mud and weeds. The body of the car was splattered with dirt, making a mess. He planned to wash the car while in town and somehow try to charm the man; if that didn’t work, he would just run away.

The temperature had definitely dropped. Even though it was drizzling, there were people in the fields. The man occasionally opened the car window to greet people loudly. It was impressive how he could recognize someone just by seeing their fleeting figure.

“Do you want some gum?”

The man asked, his voice lively.