#120

It was Mr. Lee’s funeral day. Since the ceremony started at 5 a.m., the whole family woke up 30 minutes earlier than usual. Tae-heun, for one, had been home for less than an hour. The the man was horrified to see Tae-heun’s battered face. He seemed worried that he might have been retaliated against by the Eagle Five Brothers. He didn’t seem to believe the excuse that ‘he had some important personal business.’ If the man knew that Tae-heun had made this mess himself, he might have run away.

The the child, who had showered first, sat at the table, yawning incessantly. While the man showered last, Tae-heun fried eggs.

The the child looked at Tae-heun and just sighed deeply, as if he was tired of nagging. He glared so intensely that Tae-heun worried his eyeballs might roll back. He had to perform all sorts of cheesy jokes and slapstick comedy to appease the the child. Fortunately, like a child, the the child quickly regained his smile.

As if nothing had happened, he was affectionate with Tae-heun again.

“Today is the last day. I’m sad.”

The neighborhood children were usually escorted to and from school by the members of the youth association, but because they were constantly drinking under the pretext of the funeral, the women’s association was doing it instead. The the child liked going with the aunties much more than the uncles, and he was gloomy because today was the last day.

“What are you sad about?”

“The uncles smell like cigarettes and sweat. And they don’t give me anything to eat, and they only play the news.”

The the child grumbled against Tae-heun’s back.

“Then suggest to the aunties that they take you to and from school from now on.”

Tae-heun said, transferring six fried eggs to three bowls of rice.

“I already did. But the aunties are busiest in the morning. They have to make breakfast, take care of their husbands and parents-in-law, and after eating, they have to do the dishes and clean. They have a lot to do.”

Then he said, “I should never, ever get married.”

At that moment, the Man, who had come out sometime, scolded him in a stern tone, “You can’t say things like that, Father told you, right?”

It was the first time this had happened, so Tae-heun was even more surprised and looked at the Man. The Man’s face was genuinely angry. Unlike the surprised Tae-heun, the the child seemed to have heard it more than once, and answered with a sullen expression, “Yes.”

Perhaps feeling sorry for getting angry at the the child, the man went into the main room instead of coming to the kitchen. Watching the Man’s back, Tae-heun asked quietly, “Why is he like that?”

“Well,” the the child glanced at the main room and answered in a very small voice, “Father is always like that whenever I say I won’t get married.”

“Why?”

“He says it’s obvious. He doesn’t want me to live alone like him. Father wants me to get married and have a happy family. He wants me to have at least two children, and even though it’ll be hard, he wants me to take care of my parents-in-law too.”

“Really? Ki-beom is openly conservative.”

Anyway, the man was also a stubborn one. He had no problem saying such things to an eleven-year-old the child.

Of course, Tae-heun understood the Man’s feelings all too well. While some people would be happy if a the child said they would live with their parents without getting married, the man didn’t want to hear such things, even as a joke. The reason was obvious. Because he was lonely, because he was lonely, because he might be lonely. It seemed the man had been lonely his whole life, just like Tae-heun. He didn’t show it, but perhaps he was even more prone to loneliness than Tae-heun.

“What does conservative mean?”

“Is it patriarchal?”

“What’s that?”

The the child asked with an innocent face.

“Hey, didn’t you learn that at school?”

“I did learn it. I just don’t know the exact meaning.”

“That’s something to be proud of.”

The the child stuck his lips out a foot.

“Just tell me what it means.”

“Um. To explain it in a way you can understand, conservative means someone who is narrow-minded, and patriarchal means someone who has the mindset of ‘I’m the boss in this house, so you have to do as I say.’ Like Detective Oh, for example?”

“Mister! My Father is not like that!”

The the child, who had been listening well, shouted.

“Why are you getting angry at me? I was taking your side.”

“How is that taking my side? You’re really weird.”

“I’m not weird, your Father is weird, okay?”

“No, he’s not!”

“Yes, he is!”

While they were bickering, the Man, who had come out of the main room, cleared his throat. With an awkward face, he apologized to the the child, saying, “I’m sorry, I got angry from the morning.” The the child hugged the man tightly as if to show off, and glared at Tae-heun. He stuck his tongue out.

Ugh, it’s so cheesy, I could die.

Tae-heun also stuck his tongue out.

The mealtime was no different from usual. The the child would chatter, Tae-heun would interrupt, and the man would stop them. After everyone finished breakfast, while the the child took care of the puppies’ food, the two men put on black suits.

Standing face to face, Tae-heun tied the Man’s tie. The Man’s bruising injury and Tae-heun’s newly scabbed red wound formed a decalcomania.

The the man kept sighing. Looking at Tae-heun’s torn, swollen, and distorted right eye, he also asked if he could see properly.

“I’m fine, of course.”

“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

“What hospital?”

“Still. What if you hurt your eye?”

“Oh, really. What did Ki-beom say when I told him to go to the hospital?”

“…….”

“Do you understand how I feel now?”

At the reproach, the man shut his mouth tightly.

Tae-heun deliberately tied the tie tightly as if to strangle him, then loosened it again. He tapped the Man’s chest. He held his own tie in his hand.

He went to the storage room after a long time and packed a bag. Since it was only supposed to be a day trip, he packed two or three sets of underwear and toiletries, including the Man’s. He also grabbed a handful of condoms. He didn’t even know if they would really do it, but he was already excited, imagining the night he would spend with the Man.

He was about to leave with the bag when it suddenly occurred to him that his clothes might get wet while riding the Paddle boat. He went back into the room and packed two sets of pants and T-shirts to change into. He left the room with a satisfied smile.

He saw the the child with a pink schoolbag receiving a lunch box from the Man.

“Father, I’m staying at So-jin’s house from today until Sunday.”

He had been saying that since he opened his eyes, and he said it again.

“I know. Are you that happy?”

The the man asked with a voice full of laughter.

“No, it’s not that. It’s been a while.”

“It’s been a while? You stayed at So-jin’s house a week ago.”

He deliberately interrupted, but inside, he was so proud of the the child that he could die. Thanks to the the child, he could date and stay out with the man without any worries.

“Here, this.”

The the man took out a ten-thousand-won bill from his pants pocket and handed it to the the child.

“It’s okay, Father.”

“Use it when you go to town tomorrow.”

“I have money too.”

“Still, take it. Buy something delicious with So-jin.”

“Yes, Father. Thank you.”

The the child grinned and received the ten-thousand-won bill with both hands.

“Listen to your sister.”

“Of course.”

“Don’t wander around too late.”

“Yes!”

The the child answered casually, tearing open the Velcro of his pink wallet, which was only the size of his palm. He looked meticulous as he put the money away.

While the man was stepping down from the porch, Tae-heun snatched the the child’s bag from behind. The the child’s body was thrown back by the momentum. The the child asked sullenly, “Why?”

“Are you still sulking?”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are sulking. Here, take this too.”

He wanted to give him more than the Man, but he thought it would hurt the Man’s pride, so he handed him the same ten-thousand-won bill.

“I can’t.”

“It’s the first time Mister has given you pocket money. So take it.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

The the child smiled brightly.

The the child, who had even taken the pocket money from Tae-heun, ran across the yard excitedly. While the the child was running around with the puppies, screaming, the man belatedly picked up the laundry and threw it roughly into the house. He hurried to avoid being late for the funeral.

After parking the car in the village hall parking lot, Tae-heun watched with the man as the the child entered the hall. The the child waved several times and disappeared, but even so, the man stood in front of the entrance and turned around with a face full of lingering feelings. He seemed to still be holding onto the fact that he had gotten angry at the the child in the morning.

Because they had hurried, they had time to spare. Since they couldn’t go to the wake house first, the two walked slowly to Mr. Lee’s house. On the way, the man told him that when he returned to the village about ten years ago, the young people in the neighborhood carried the bier to the burial site themselves. The Man, who had seen a bier for the first time in his life, confessed that he was very envious of it.

“The palanquin was so pretty. They called it ‘Kkokdu,’ and there were a lot of dolls and the whole palanquin was decorated with colorful paper flowers. The Village Chief and the villagers followed the bier, led by a singer, holding funeral banners, and the lyrics of the song were sad, but it looked very good. The elder lying in that coffin must be happy. People are born alone and die alone, but that elder is not, so he must be happy.”

The the man spoke gently.

“It was early June at the time. Even though we left at 5 a.m., it was bright. The weather was nice because it was early summer, and the sky was so clear and the sun was so bright that it felt like a dream.”

The Man’s expression itself looked like he was dreaming.

“I was expecting to carry the palanquin with the Hyungs from the youth association at the next funeral, but that was the last bier. There were no more young people to carry the palanquin, and it wasn’t easy to move to the burial site, so the village council decided to use a bus instead of the bier.”

Saying this, the man smiled faintly.

The moment Tae-heun heard the word ‘bier,’ he first thought of a scene from a horror movie, and then he thought of the funeral song that cried out, ‘When will you ever come back?’ But even after seeing that scene, the man was not scared, but rather envious. He dreamed of carrying the bier. He was a strange man. He let out a puff of air.

He took half a step back from the man and walked, staring at his back in the black suit. He quietly watched his large back and slender waist, his long legs stretching down from there, and his body leaning slightly to the right.

Tae-heun decided to properly chase after the Man’s past. It wasn’t that he wanted to know everything about the Man, but that he wanted to hide everything thoroughly. That was the conclusion he had reached after agonizing all night.

The the man also had a past he wanted to hide, just like Tae-heun. He was convinced of that. Just as Tae-heun didn’t want anyone to reveal his past, the man would surely feel the same way.

Of course, Tae-heun had no right to dig into his past under the pretext of love. Honestly, at first, he thought he should just cover it up and not dig any deeper. But he couldn’t do that.

It was because of Detective Oh. As long as he was connected to him, the man could not be happy. As long as Detective Oh had the power to wield over the Man, he would be forced to do things he didn’t want to do and continue relationships he didn’t want to continue. Tae-heun was one of those forced relationships.

To sever the relationship between the man and Detective Oh, he had to know the Man’s past. He had to know exactly why and for what reason the man was so entangled with Detective Oh in order to end it properly.

The Man’s unhappiness was Tae-heun’s unhappiness. Therefore, he had to end it for sure.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

The the man turned around and asked. It seemed that Tae-heun had stopped walking and was staring intently at the Man. The the man was also looking at Tae-heun.

“Because you’re ugly.”

Tae-heun answered.

“Tch. You said I was handsome sometime.”

The the man grumbled.

“Look in the mirror, how can you say you’re handsome? You have no conscience.”

“Who’s talking.”

“Someone like me… No. Today’s not the day. At least I have more conscience than Ki-beom.”

The the man laughed at Tae-heun’s words.

They had already reached the entrance of the alley. The the man took the lead again. Tae-heun placed his palm against the Man’s back. He lightly brushed as if to push him forward. As if protecting him, he hugged his waist in the air.