#07

However, not once, not a single time had he ever heard his mother say “I love you.” He received no proper care, let alone favoritism, and he had never heard words of gratitude, praise, or even a simple apology when bumping into someone on the street. All of his mother’s affection, love, praise, and sorrow were directed solely at his older brother, the firstborn. That ugly, stubborn, and even vulgar brat who resembled their mother was her only love. He gritted his teeth.

“Why should I? Anyway, you’re just going to give it to my brother. The thirsty person has to dig the well.”

At Seon-jae’s response, his mother’s cheeks twitched. The expression she had tried so hard to keep gentle turned fierce. She always showed that kind of expression whenever something displeased her.

“Don’t you feel sorry for your brother? After all that suffering, he only gets a meager salary.”

“I’ll be going now.”

He stood up abruptly. The chair screeched loudly.

What had he even expected to come here for?

He smiled bitterly.

He hurriedly escaped the suffocating basement and went up to the ground level. It was raining. Seon-jae walked the streets, getting soaked in the rain. He felt pathetic.

“I have no regrets even if I die.”

He muttered to himself, knowing full well that it wasn’t the right time for such words.

Even the little bit of lingering attachment he had was completely gone.

D-Day

It was a continuous state of tension. It felt as if someone would burst in at any moment, throw a hood over his head, and drag him away. He painfully realized that this was what a fear without substance felt like. Seon-jae scoffed at the thought of all the wrongdoings he had committed, believing in karma.

At 4:30 AM, transitioning from Friday to Saturday, he left the apartment and got into his old Avante. He had to act as naturally as possible. He was to take nothing from the house or touch anything. These were the two requests from Detective Oh Dae-ho, code name Turtle.

As expected, he was being followed. Uncle must have known that Seon-jae would head out in the early morning. He had originally planned to take a day off. But before he could even mention taking a leave, Uncle ordered him to go to the grave site in Andong, Gyeongbuk. It was clear that there was something else going on, so he took a vague stance and hurriedly consulted with Detective Oh. Detective Oh reassured him that it was a good thing; since he had died in an accident on the way there under his orders, there would be no further questions, and he calmed Seon-jae down. They quickly revised the plan.

Seon-jae tried not to be conscious of the tailing vehicle as he started the engine. The thermometer in the car read 17 degrees. It was raining, and the wind was blowing, making it feel bleak. His hands gripping the steering wheel trembled. Not from the cold, but from fear.

What the hell is going on all of a sudden?

He found it absurd even to think about it.

Lee Seon-jae was an unusually fearless boy. He had gone through a prideful youth, and now, becoming the despicable, vile, and utterly ungraceful Lee Seon-jae, his innate temperament remained unchanged. Yet now, to be trembling in fear was ridiculous. He felt lucky that he hadn’t wet himself as his heart raced.

He turned on the audio, thinking there might be a listening device in the car. A loud and irregular trumpet sound filled the air. He pressed the accelerator and drove out of the rain-soaked apartment complex. As he passed through the tollgate, a truck approached to shake off the tail. Seon-jae focused solely on driving.

How long had he been driving? The promised location was getting closer. His mouth was dry, and his breath was quickening. He was so tense that he didn’t even realize the trumpet sound had stopped. After several failed attempts, he finally pressed the play button again. The once quiet car was filled with the noise of the trumpet.

Flashing lights were blinking right in front of him. Seon-jae slowed down and gently pressed the brake. A man in a black raincoat got out of the car in front. Seon-jae hurriedly let go of the steering wheel and got out of his car, jumping into the front car as if passing a baton. They didn’t greet or even look at each other. He grabbed the steering wheel of the car that wasn’t originally his and left that place. This was all Seon-jae had to do.

The rest would be taken care of by them. His head was filled with doubts and anxieties, but it was already spilled water. So, he had no choice but to trust.

Seon-jae drove aimlessly toward the promised location. It was a 30-minute drive from where he had switched cars. This time, a van was waiting. As soon as he got into the van, a hand with a hood lunged at him. Instinctively, he grabbed the other person’s arm and twisted it, only to snap back to reality at the near-scream of protest.

“Thank you for your hard work.”

A familiar face spoke.

The man with the hood glared at Seon-jae with a frown. Instead of apologizing, Seon-jae obediently put on the hood.

“Where are we going?”

Seon-jae asked.

“To a safe place.”

“What about Turtle?”

“He’s waiting there.”

The van, carrying three people including Seon-jae, drove endlessly somewhere.

His stomach churned with anxiety. He strained to listen to the sounds outside, trying not to vomit. Aside from the sound of the turn signal being turned on and off, the van drove on in silence.

“Congratulations.”

Seon-jae was taken aback by the sudden congratulatory remark.

“Lee Seon-jae, you have just safely died.”

The voice was so light that it sounded like a joke.

Ha. He chuckled briefly.

I’m dead. Lee Seon-jae, the adopted son of Lee Seok-doo, has just died. He felt like he could dance with joy, but suddenly, sorrow welled up inside him. He bit his lip to hold back tears, but it was useless. With a contorted face, Seon-jae finally burst into tears.

He cried out loud, sorrowfully.

The man who had congratulated Seon-jae looked flustered and asked if he was okay.

Seon-jae, feeling embarrassed and ashamed, barely managed to stop crying. A tissue was handed to him. As the hood was loosened for a moment, he slipped his hand inside to blow his nose. He wiped his tears.

A moment later, the tears burst forth again.

Once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop.

Lee Seon-jae cried silently.

He cried and cried until the hood was soaked.

* * *

“Congratulations.”

Detective Oh Dae-ho filled a paper cup with liquor. There was also jajangmyeon and sweet and sour pork prepared.

“Mr. Kim Tae-heun, congratulations on your rebirth.”

“Thank you.”

Now known as Kim Tae-heun, Seon-jae received the cup with his eyes swollen from crying.

The liquor, over 40 degrees, burned his throat as it went down. It wasn’t even soju, yet it tasted sweet. Still, it was strong liquor, making him frown involuntarily.

Kim Tae-heun. The name meant “great joy.” It was the name of his uncle who had died in an accident at the age of six. His father was five, and his aunt was seven at the time. The three siblings, born in consecutive years, lost one brother at an early age, and after the uncle’s death, no one in the family ever mentioned his name again. Seon-jae remembered it only once, having heard it from his deceased aunt.

Was it the year Seon-jae turned seven? His aunt, who had favored him more than her own son, had taken him to the park that day. Passersby praised them for looking alike, saying they were pretty, and each time, a bright smile would appear on his aunt’s face, which had been gloomy.

They sat on a sunny patch of grass and ate the lunch his aunt had packed. She didn’t eat a single bite, only watching Seon-jae eat. Then, out of the blue, she called out, “Tae-heun.” She was startled and turned pale even after calling him. That day, his aunt talked about his uncle, who had lived for only six years. She said he resembled Seon-jae and shared stories about the boy who was more beautiful than her angelic self. In the end, she placed her finger on his pretty lips and said, “Shh. It’s our little secret.”

At that time, Seon-jae had no interest in the child who had died at a younger age than him, whom he couldn’t even call an uncle. He was just thrilled to have a secret that only he and his aunt knew.

“Tae-heun. That name is a bit difficult.”

“Just call me Manager Kim. I’m still not used to that name.”

Seon-jae said as he poured liquor into Detective Oh’s empty cup.

“Yes. That works.”

Detective Oh smiled.

“This place is quite shabby. Please bear with it a little longer. As soon as things are sorted out, I’ll move you to a better place.”

Detective Oh took back the liquor bottle and poured more into Seon-jae’s empty cup.

“You will receive random phone calls three times a day. You can think of it as a roll call. It will ring once and hang up, then ring twice a minute later and hang up again. If it rings again a minute later, wait until it rings five times before answering. You must answer without fail. If it rings once and hangs up without a subsequent call, that’s just a delivery notification. No need to answer.”

Detective Oh informed him of two rules he must follow while staying here.

“Do not make any calls from this phone. You also cannot go outside the fence. Just in case of any unforeseen incidents, there will always be someone waiting outside, but let’s avoid unnecessary confrontations. It’s necessary for both you and us, so please comply.”

“Understood.”

“Meals will be delivered twice a day. If there’s something you want to eat, let me know during the call. As long as it’s not lobster or caviar, we can usually bring you what you desire.”

Detective Oh mixed in some jokes to keep the atmosphere from becoming too serious.

“If you have any messages for me, please convey them during the last roll call. Unless there’s something special, I won’t be visiting here again. It’s better to be cautious.”

They fell into a brief silence. Detective Oh ate sweet and sour pork and jajangmyeon with liquor, while Seon-jae only drank.

“How is it over there?”

Seon-jae broke the silence.

“I was wondering when you would ask.”