SLD 89

Cecile was dragged along with his wrist held tightly, not knowing where they were headed. It was challenging enough just to keep up with Alexis’s quick pace.

The place they entered after opening a door was one of the many secret meeting rooms within the main palace.

Only after entering the clandestine room did Cecile’s wrist regain its freedom. His wrist bone tingled from how forcefully it had been gripped, leaving finger-shaped marks on his pale skin.

But Cecile couldn’t examine his wrist. His entire body had stiffened like a wooden doll from the suffocating tension. His trembling gaze was fixed only on Alexis’s back.

He stood facing the window with his back to Cecile. Lost in thought, the silence stretched on.

“…This morning.”

As the torturous wait ended, Alexis began to speak. His low voice, very slowly and carefully, started to recall the earlier situation.

“I heard the news that Count Lawrence had been dealt with. I also heard that the Empress went to see you. I went to check on you, worried you might be harmed…”

Alexis slowly turned around. His face was full of questions.

“You… love me?”

Ah… so he had heard everything after all. Cecile couldn’t hide his complicated feelings. His frozen features refused to move as he wished.

“If that weren’t the case, I would have had no reason to help Your Highness.”

There was no point in lying. Even if this confession made him distance himself, there was nothing to be done about it.

“……”

But Alexis’s reaction was ambiguous. It was difficult to tell if he was angry or not.

With his palm covering his mouth, it wasn’t clear what expression he was making. His eyes, the only visible part, had been staring intently at Cecile all along.

“Since when?”

“I’m not sure myself.”

“If you don’t know, who would?”

“Does it matter?”

Cecile let out a hollow laugh. The continued questioning made him feel like a criminal. Of course, from Alexis’s perspective, he must feel betrayed.

“It does matter. So you need to answer properly.”

“I was planning to sort out my feelings anyway. Your Highness should just consider it as having heard something unpleasant. Nothing will change. I’ll make sure it doesn’t cause you any harm.”

“……”

“I know you’re upset. But I’m also in pain…!”

Cecile couldn’t finish his sentence. As he backed away from Alexis’s sudden approach, he soon found himself against the wall. Blocked by the body in front of him like an iron wall, he had nowhere to go and faced Alexis.

“Not just liking, but loving?”

“……”

“And not someone else, but me.”

Alexis asked repeatedly, as if to reconfirm. Though there was no reply, he seemed to already have his certainty. He had already heard the answer in Cecile’s expression, distorted with despair and fear.

“And yet you had the nerve to tell me to get married.”

“…What should I have done then?”

Cecile bit his lip hard. Having his unrequited love discovered felt like being naked in front of the other person. Moreover, this wasn’t a situation he had wanted.

“What could I do? Are you saying I should have confessed to Your Highness?”

“……”

“Would you have accepted me?”

He fiercely retorted, gathering what little pride he had left. This was all he could muster.

Cecile couldn’t bring himself to face him and turned his head away. His cheeks were soaked with tears, though he wasn’t sure when he had started crying.

Appalled by his own state, Cecile roughly wiped his eyes with his sleeve. As he tried to hide his unsightly appearance, Alexis grabbed Cecile’s hand and pulled it down.

“Don’t do that. You’ll scratch yourself on the buttons.”

The gentle voice toyed with Cecile’s fragile heart. Honestly, he had thought he might be grabbed by the collar or even hit.

But when Alexis showed concern instead of anger, the sorrow Cecile had been forcibly holding back burst forth.

No matter how hard he bit his lip, he couldn’t control his heated eyes. As tears that had been clinging to the corners of his eyes began to fall, Alexis could no longer just watch and embraced Cecile.

The body in his arms was trembling noticeably, revealing how frightened he had been.

“I heard you didn’t even blink when executing the Count… Why are you shaking so much? Did you think I would do something to you?”

“……”

He asked while stroking the round head with his palm. When Cecile hesitated before nodding, Alexis let out a laugh mixed with a sigh.

He held him for a long time. Cecile finally composed himself and looked up.

“I’m not hoping for anything grand. It’s true that I have feelings for Your Highness… but nothing will change from before. Please just let me continue as we have been.”

“Is that really enough for you?”

“It’s sufficient for me.”

Though his eyes were red and swollen, and he was still sniffling, Cecile tried to put on his usual determined expression.

“……”

Alexis gazed down at that pitiful face, lost in thought for a moment.

If Cecile had demanded a response to his affection, how far would he have been willing to go?

He could gladly embrace him, kiss him. If Cecile asked to spend the night? Though he had no interest in men, it was something he could consider for Cecile’s sake.

But Cecile didn’t ask for anything. He just wanted to continue as before, pretending not to know about his unrequited love. It was quite a deflating request. Somehow, it even left him feeling empty.

Alexis pulled Cecile close and embraced him again.

He held the frail body tightly, as if checking whether this was a dream or reality.

“Cecile, say it yourself. Is it true that you love me?”

“……”

“Come on.”

Urged on, Cecile buried his face in Alexis’s chest and mumbled something, his neck turning red.

Though his voice was faint, as if about to fade away, the words “I love you” clearly reached Alexis’s ears.

I can’t hear you. Once more. Again.

Alexis heard Cecile’s confession several more times. Each time, his arms tightened around Cecile.

The emptiness in his heart was filled with warmth. It was a different kind of satisfaction from winning a war.

* * *

Battles continued one after another. It was a repetition of winning and losing after fierce fighting.

Alexis wanted to end this wretched war. There was absolutely no benefit to it. In fact, the longer the fight continued, the more both countries would only bear losses from the war.

Just then, Claude, who had finished negotiations with Kazazhan’s envoy as the empire’s representative, came to the strategy meeting room.

Claude announced the results of the negotiations in his characteristically firm voice.

“Fortunately, they are of the same mind as us.”

Everyone’s faces brightened at the news that Kazazhan also expressed their desire to end this war.

“The other side proposed first that in exchange for giving up the war, we exchange hostages as a token of the agreement.”

“Hostages? Who do they want?”

“Kazazhan is demanding Cecile…”

Bang, the table shook from a fist slamming down.

“Shut up.”

“Your Highness.”

“That’s not even worth discussing.”

Alexis openly displayed his displeasure. In an instant, a cold tension took over the meeting room. The advisors gathered in the same place had to hold their breath, watching the Crown Prince’s mood.

Cecile was equally surprised. The unexpected demand was honestly bewildering.

Originally, he and the Empress should have strongly argued to end the war by taking Yuria as a hostage.

So this is how it changes.

Cecile clenched his fist tightly under the table.

“I will go.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s not a bad proposal. Didn’t Your Highness also want to end the war? The empire won’t suffer a great loss by handing over just me.”

“I said clearly that I cannot allow it.”

Alexis spoke in a cold voice.

He looked around at the advisors gathered there, including Cecile and Claude, and twisted his lips. It seemed he was the only one opposing. He roughly pushed away from the table and stood up.

“There will be no negotiation. Since it seems Kilian still hasn’t come to his senses, we’ll have to teach him a lesson by crushing him completely.”

Shadows fell over everyone’s faces. Alexis’s will was so firm that no one dared to voice any opposition.

As Alexis left the meeting room, murmuring voices began to emerge one by one. How should we proceed, is there any way to persuade him, they discussed while putting their heads together.

“Um… What do you think, Cecile?”

Gazes gradually turned to Cecile. Though they couldn’t ask the person designated as a hostage to take responsibility, the intent behind their lingering looks was clear.

The chair scraped back with a screech. Cecile met the gazes focused on him and spoke with a detached expression.

“There’s no need to ask my opinion. I already know what you all want, and I think the same.”

In the end, Alexis had to be persuaded.

The room attached to the strategy meeting room was also where Alexis stayed alone.

The only furniture was a bed where he could catch a brief nap, an elegant sofa, and a large desk.

As if proving how long he had spent here, the room was thoroughly imbued with Alexis’s scent.

Alexis was just as exhausted as everyone else. Continuing the war was not an easy task. He had to stay on edge all day, barely sleeping a few hours.

With the lives of countless imperial soldiers hanging on his every decision, the mental burden Alexis bore grew heavier day by day.

Seeing Alexis sitting in the hard desk chair with his eyes closed, Cecile carefully closed the door and entered.

Though he minimized any noise, Alexis had already noticed Cecile’s entrance.

With his eyes still closed, Alexis said:

“I’m warning you in advance, if you’re going to ask to be sent as a hostage, get out.”