By Zephyria 
========
Alexis’s fever did not last long. Since he was someone who rarely fell ill to begin with, his recovery was swift.
“I heard you nursed me back to health. Thank you, Cecile.”
He remembered nothing of what had happened the previous night. He could not recall who he had held and kissed all night, nor could he distinguish whether it had been a dream or reality.
Only the other party was left to shoulder the emotional turmoil. Cecile shut himself away in the Peridot Palace for several days to organize his thoughts. Soon, he came to an admission: he harbored foolish feelings for Alexis.
Once he admitted it, his mind became entirely filled with Alexis. He missed him; he was curious about him. The confession blurted out in a feverish haze echoed in his ears like a hallucination, to the point where he could barely function in his daily life.
Ultimately, unable to endure it any longer, Cecile headed to the Saint Palace. As it was early afternoon, Alexis was in his office.
As the office door opened, the first thing that caught his eye was the sight of attendants bustling about, clutching armfuls of parchment scrolls. Alexis was sitting at his desk, holding his forehead. The desk was piled high with documents. To anyone, he looked overwhelmed by work.
For some reason, the atmosphere felt like one where he shouldn’t be a distraction. Cecile couldn’t bring himself to step inside and instead hovered aimlessly in front of the door. Even the gatekeeper began to read the room.
“Your Highness… over there.”
One of the attendants tactfully informed Alexis. Reading a document with a serious expression, Alexis looked up. The moment he saw Cecile, the sharpness in his eyes vanished instantly.
“When did you arrive? Why are you standing outside?”
He cast aside his work and approached the office door in a single stride. Cecile was struck speechless. Since his visit had no particular purpose, he didn’t know how to respond.
“Is something wrong?”
“…….”
Instead of answering, Cecile merely chewed on his lip. Damn it, now all he could see were those lips. His insidious gaze remained fixed on Alexis’s well-shaped lips, unable to pull away. He barely managed to drag his eyes upward.
“…Are you busy?”
“No, I’m fine. Tell me.”
“That offer you made to teach me swordsmanship—is it still valid?”
Alexis’s eyes curved like crescent moons. He smiled as if he were genuinely happy.
“Of course it is.”
The rear garden of the Saint Palace was completely cleared. With no one watching, the two men stood facing each other.
Cecile pressed the toes of his shoes firmly into the grass. The fragrant scent of greenery reached the tip of his nose. Even seeing Cecile’s behavior, Alexis merely kept a faint smile on his lips. Despite saying he would teach swordsmanship, he was empty-handed.
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t just do this half-heartedly as a joke.”
“I am more sincere now than ever.”
“Then why don’t you have a sword?”
“Because learning self-defense would be more beneficial than a sword.”
Alexis first grabbed both of Cecile’s hands. What on earth was he doing? To Cecile, it all looked like child’s play.
“Trust me.”
However, trust seeped through that low, soft voice. Looking into those blue eyes, one naturally found themselves following Alexis.
The reason for holding hands was to loosen his stiff body. Holding Cecile’s hands, Alexis meticulously taught him the basic preparatory movements.
“Ugh, ah! Ngh!”
“You’re stiff.”
“Gently… a bit more gently.”
“I am being gentle. Bear with it. This is the only way you won’t get hurt.”
As the process of stretching his arms, pressing his shoulders, and twisting his waist continued, the tense muscles began to loosen one by one. Cecile took deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling, completely entrusting his body to Alexis.
Though it might have been a simple movement to some, a body that had lived a pampered life for years screamed in protest. However, he quite liked the feeling of rubbing bodies with Alexis. Thus, he had no choice but to keep his mouth shut and endure.
“Ready?”
“…….”
“Cecile, grab me by the collar. Hard.”
It was a remarkably impudent request. With a sigh, Cecile grabbed the collar of Alexis’s shirt. The moment he gripped the collar with his slender hand, his wrist was twisted in an instant and a strike hit his elbow.
“Eh?”
When he came to his senses, he found that distance had been created between him and Alexis. What happened? Cecile’s right hand gripped only the empty air instead of the collar. It felt as if he had been bewitched.
“What is this?”
“I told you, it’s self-defense.”
“I’ll try again.”
Cecile stepped forward and gripped Alexis’s collar. This time, he applied a firm grip. He gritted his teeth, determined not to be easily defeated.
Thump, thump, thump.
In just three movements, the hand gripping the collar was released. Not only that, but Cecile found himself looking up at the sky. If Alexis hadn’t supported his waist, he would likely be lying on the ground.
Against the backdrop of the blue sky, Alexis’s face filled his vision. Platinum-blonde bangs fluttered softly like gold thread, and Cecile’s face was reflected in eyes that held a color clearer than the sky.
“This is what I wanted to teach you.”
“…Wow.”
“Are you getting interested?”
Interested? He was beyond that! His heart pounded wildly because it was so fascinating. Cecile nodded quickly, his face flushed red.
“Then shall we begin?”
Alexis’s eyes curved softly. He was equally excited. This was a moment he had long anticipated.
Thirty minutes into the self-defense training, Cecile was clinging to Alexis, groaning.
“Ngh, why is this… not working!”
“You have to apply the technique properly.”
“I am applying it properly!”
“Press hard behind the knee. Don’t just wrap your leg; press and push it back all at once.”
He was certainly doing as he was told. He repeatedly pressed the hollow of Alexis’s knee with his kneecap, but the long calves remained steadfast.
The sight of him wrapped around and clinging to the other’s leg was like a cicada clinging to a great tree. Would this even work? In terms of physique and strength, there was no way to win.
Exhausted, Cecile let out a long sigh while hugging Alexis’s shoulders. His hot breath flowed through the open shirt, wetting Alexis’s bare chest.
At that moment, a short moan of “ah” escaped. He felt the strength leave Alexis’s knees. Not wanting to miss the opportunity, Cecile wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pressed the hollow of his knee with all his might. The long body wavered.
Their entangled bodies collapsed together onto the grass. Alexis wrapped his arms around Cecile’s head to ensure he wouldn’t get hurt, even though he himself rolled onto the ground defenselessly.
Both were a mess. Their expensive clothes were stained with dirt and became grimy. However, Cecile cheered like a child, thrilled.
“I did it!”
“Is it really that great?”
“You didn’t let me win on purpose, right? I actually succeeded, right?”
“That’s right, you did it.”
Alexis propped himself up diagonally and looked down at Cecile, who was lying on the ground. He silently stroked Cecile’s damp hair. Cecile slowly steadied his heaving breath. The eyes looking down at him looked unmistakably sad.
Alexis often—no, quite frequently—had those eyes. Even the touch of brushing back his bangs was heartbreakingly tender.
“Why are you making that face again?”
“…….”
He wanted to ask who he was thinking of. Was the person Alexis loved similar in appearance to him? Just how much had he loved them to be so unable to forget, buried in the past until now?
“Do you think of your first love whenever you see me?”
“…Yes.”
“Isn’t that a mistake to make with me?”
Alexis gave a faint smile. His eyes sank into a deeper hue.
“Could you overlook it just a little?”
“If only it were just one or two mistakes.”
“What other mistake did I make?”
“That day, to me….”
Cecile bit his lip. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
“When that day? Are you perhaps talking about the day I was sick?”
Alexis tilted his head slightly. His gaze scanned the empty air as he tried to trace back his dark memories.
“…Forget it. You don’t even remember anyway.”
“Did I harass you? That shouldn’t be possible.”
“I’m sorry,” Alexis whispered softly, brushing back Cecile’s hair. The gentle touch shook one’s heart completely. Cecile murmured unconsciously, his strength fading.
“You confessed your love, you kissed me.”
“…….”
“And you did it several times.”
For a moment, Alexis’s eyes wavered slightly. He then took a sharp breath. He rubbed his mouth, looking genuinely flustered.
“Sorry, I must have been out of my mind because the fever was so high.”
“…….”
“It… must have felt unpleasant.”
“Yes. It does feel unpleasant.”
At the firm answer, a ripple of emotion crossed Alexis’s face. As a shadow close to despair cast over him, Cecile grabbed him by the collar.
“Stop using me as a substitute for your first love. There are so many days left to live; are you going to spend your life clinging to a dead person?”
“…….”
“If you’re going to touch me, forget everything first! Don’t just make me feel unsettled for nothing.”
Cecile panted. Recalling the events of that day again made his head heat up.
Alexis looked down at Cecile intently. A mixture of confusion and anticipation made his expression somewhat ambiguous.
“Do you dislike it when I touch you?”
“What have you been listening to! I said it’s unpleasant when you touch me because you’re mistaken!”
“If it’s not a mistake.”
Alexis spoke in a clearer tone. Now, he could no longer hide his anticipation.
“I don’t have a fever right now, and I’m not half-asleep. I sincerely want to kiss you. Is that still alright?”
Cecile couldn’t even blink. He felt as if he were bound by the gaze staring clearly at him. Above all, Alexis’s sincerity crashed over him like a giant wave.
Slowly, he opened his fingers. As the grip on the collar released, Alexis grabbed his trembling wrist instead. He rubbed his lips against the thick base of the palm.
He sent a lingering gaze, as if seeking permission. Cecile closed his eyes.
Their lips overlapped. The warm, soft sensation could absolutely not be called a dream. Once again, a tingling stimulation spread throughout his body. Blood surged, and his heart throbbed. Cecile embraced Alexis fully.
After kissing for a long time, Alexis briefly pulled his lips away. He whispered into his ear.
“My first love was you, Cecile Adrian.”
“…Since when?”
“From the very beginning.”
It made no sense. He had clearly said his first love was dead. However, from the lips that overlapped once more, his overflowing emotions flowed in completely. This much was an unquestionable truth.
Cecile thought to himself: You are my first love, too.