By Zephyria 
A relentless throbbing in his head made it hard to concentrate. Alexis grimaced as he continued to read the prophecy.
The prophecy had already become a thing of the past. The records left by Cecile were a continuous source of pain for anyone reading them late. Alexis found himself constantly regretting as he faced truths he had not known before.
This was like another will from Cecile. Even if it was painful, it was only right to examine every single word without missing a letter.
He finally reached the last page. Alexis traced the torn, irregular remnants of the paper. What had been written here?
As he touched the blank space, he suddenly discovered marks left on the surface of the paper. Alexis lightly dabbed his fingertips in ink and applied it to the paper. The ink seeped along the faint outlines, revealing the traces of the letters that had quietly remained.
I don’t want to die.
I’m scared.
I’m scared. I want to live more.
The torn paper was the innermost feelings that Cecile had desperately hidden. The moment he saw it, Alexis felt the ground supporting him crumble beneath him. A flood of longing burst forth like a dam breaking.
Tears finally spilled over. He missed Cecile so much.
His voice, his laughter, even the gestures that had hung heavily on his shoulders.
Memories that had been easy to recall until morning suddenly evaporated.
At this rate, he might never remember again.
Unable to endure any longer, he pushed the desk away and stood up. He needed something, anything, that could help him remember Cecile.
Wiping the tears from his face, Alexis headed straight for the main palace.
The place he urgently sought was the gallery that housed the royal paintings. Here were displayed not only religious paintings by famous artists but also portraits of the royal family.
Alexis walked straight ahead, passing countless portraits as if traveling back in time. Finally, he came face to face with the portrait of Emperor Adolf and his own.
The portrait ended with his own. There was a vacant space in the middle, likely the mark left by the recently deposed Empress Elizabeth’s portrait that had been removed.
“…Why isn’t there a portrait of Cecile?”
“Your Highness, that is…”
“I must see it immediately. Bring it to me.”
The courtier managing the gallery could not complete his sentence and merely glanced inside. Without waiting for a response, Alexis flung open the closed door.
Inside was a storage room for paintings. It was filled with valuable and precious works collected over a long time by the imperial palace.
Alexis began to rummage through the paintings. The sight of frames breaking and spilling everywhere was chaotic. While everyone watched the prince’s bizarre behavior in shock, at last, Cecile’s portrait emerged.
“……Why.”
Alexis gasped for breath, his confused eyes unable to leave the massive canvas.
Cecile’s portrait remained unfinished. His beautiful figure and upright posture, even his sunlit dark brown hair were depicted in the painting, but his face was left blank, white.
“…Your Highness. Lord Cecile passed away before the portrait could be completed. I am truly sorry.”
“Still, complete it. Even if I have to squeeze out every memory, somehow, paint it.”
“…….”
“If there’s no portrait… I have no way to see Cecile again. I can’t even recall his face now. How will I… in the future…”
Alexis covered his eyes with his palm. The jawline revealed beneath trembled, and his tightly clenched lips seemed ready to split apart at any moment.
His throat rose and fell incessantly. Alexis swallowed the hot tears that surged back down his throat.
His lover, who had died without leaving any trace behind, felt cruel. Was he supposed to endure alone in this world?
Alexis sank to the floor, facing the unfinished portrait. His outstretched hand traced the empty face.
“Did I hurt you so much? How could you treat me so cruelly?”
The days ahead felt bleak. Alexis forced a blurry smile through his grief. Thick tears rolled down to his chin.
* * *
“Your Highness, it’s late. You should retire to your chambers now.”
Late at night, the office still had its lights on.
The attendant, filling the lamp with oil, hesitantly spoke. He looked at Alexis with worry in his wrinkled eyes. For the past few days, the crown prince had been acting like a man possessed by work. He had hardly eaten, focusing solely on state affairs day and night, and the attendant genuinely worried for his health.
Despite the concerned advice, Alexis did not take his eyes off the documents. He clung to his ink pen as if he had to finish everything today.
“Tomorrow is the coronation.”
“…Yes, that’s right.”
Only then did Alexis put down the pen and let out a heavy sigh. His gaze turned to the darkened window.
“Is everything… ready?”
“Of course. It has been perfectly prepared. I assure you it will be the most solemn coronation in the history of the Empire.”
The attendant bowed as he replied. Tomorrow was the day Crown Prince Alexis would finally ascend to the throne as Emperor. Everyone in the Empire, including himself, had been eagerly awaiting this day.
Alexis straightened his posture and grasped the ink pen again. He finished signing the remaining documents and stamped the imperial seal. Finally, having completed his tasks, he exhaled a sigh of relief.
“I plan to visit the chapel for a moment. I wish to pray quietly, so you may go in and rest first.”
“I will wait outside, Your Highness. Please allow me to escort you to your chambers.”
The attendant bowed his head repeatedly. He knew better than anyone how unstable Alexis had been lately, being so close to him.
Alexis’s expression as he looked at the attendant’s white crown was strange. He merely nodded with a hollow smile.
As the attendant said, the chapel was already prepared for the coronation. Alexis scanned the space, which seemed even more sacred than usual.
His blue eyes fixated on the crown resting on the altar. It radiated a dazzling light along with its noble form.
Alexis’s gaze moved higher. A white plaster statue modeled after the goddess Gaia smiled benevolently at the Empire’s next Emperor.
“If you truly cared for the Verka Empire… it should not have come to this.”
Alexis knelt before the statue.
“Without Cecile Adrian, I cannot be a complete person. I cannot govern the Empire with a sound mind. Is this what you wished for? Is this truly the form you desired?”
Alexis drew a dagger from his waist. The sword of Luminous, engraved with a lion and two swords, had been considered a sacred object since ancient times.
He had waited for this day. His will to live had been broken long ago. Duties and painful life had not provided him with the motivation to continue.
“Fate is predetermined, yes. That’s fine. If everything moves according to the will of the gods, then take my life as well. I will gladly offer it.”
The blade that emerged from its sheath gleamed sharply. Alexis gripped the hilt tightly.
“I fervently hope to go to where Cecile is.”
Whether that place was hell or heaven, he did not care.
Alexis aimed the sword at himself. The sharp blade pierced his chest in an instant, slicing through flesh, muscle, veins, and heart.
“Ugh, ugh!”
A chilling sensation accompanied a fierce pain that spread like wildfire. Had Cecile endured such pain? Alexis swallowed his groans and clenched his teeth.
His eyes reddened, and blood seeped from the tightly clenched gaps in his teeth. The hand that drove the sword in deeper was solemn. After all, continuing to live was just as torturous for him.
Bright red blood soaked Alexis’s clothes and the floor. The crimson carpet merely darkened, absorbing all the noble blood.
Kneeling on the blood-soaked floor, Alexis bowed his head. He exhaled short breaths repeatedly, firmly closing his eyes.
Cecile, I fear I won’t be able to keep the promise of becoming Emperor. I’ve said it many times. I cannot govern the Empire without you.
So, do not blame my decision.
I hope you will express your resentment when we meet again.
The small movements that had been trembling gradually slowed until they completely stopped at one moment. The carpet was now soaked with blood to the point of being sticky when stepped on.
Moonlight shone on the plaster statue modeled after the goddess Gaia. The faint light appeared particularly gloomy today.