By Zephyria 
To be honest, it felt awkward to admit. Wasn’t announcing something like that a bit too much? Like making it so it couldn’t be taken back.
Also, strictly speaking, it wasn’t cohabitation. It was just that the time they spent staying at each other’s places or sleeping over had become frequent. For the most part, it was Yeon-jun coming to Eun-ha’s studio apartment. That was the case about eight times out of ten, and Eun-ha went to visit him about twice. Because he had grown accustomed so quickly to Yeon-jun, who showed his face and stuck by his side almost every day, he found himself wondering if something was wrong whenever the other was unusually quiet.
Their pattern when together was always simple. They would eat, share trivial chatter, lounge around together in a daze, suddenly get buried under a barrage of kisses, have sex…
And if nothing special was happening, they always slept together.
Thanks to this, Eun-ha had recently been maintaining peak condition without any setbacks. He was drifting through the most grueling of the four seasons, summer, very smoothly. His original pattern had been living oppressed by memories of the past, like a trauma, but lately, those old thoughts didn’t surface often. It felt more accurate to say there was simply no room for such things to occupy his mind.
After living like that for a while, it had been about a week since they shared the door lock password. Eun-ha, judging that the process of Yeon-jun contacting him every single time before coming and then responding and opening the door would be tedious for both of them, had readily given him the password first.
It was a home with not a single important item in it anyway. He had given it to him comfortably because it didn’t matter, but how had Yeon-jun’s eyes looked then?
They were a hazy, trembling color, as if he were someone who had just received a monumental confession. The moment he faced him, Eun-ha was overcome with regret. It felt as if his heart had plummeted. It was because Yeon-jun had received an emotion from Eun-ha that Eun-ha had never actually given.
Whenever Eun-ha saw Yeon-jun feeling happy because of his actions, he felt an inexplicable discomfort, as if he were planting a baseless expectation. Like he felt he had to work hard to live up to that expectation.
And knowing he couldn’t, he felt as though he had ultimately become a liar…
It was probably because he didn’t like the other as much as the other liked him.
If asked if he didn’t like him, that was definitely not the case. Eun-ha was not a person with enough energy to devote most of his day to someone he didn’t like.
But if asked if their feelings were equal in amount, that too was definitely not the case. Though he didn’t make it obvious, Yeon-jun probably knew it too. That was likely why he acted so impressed by every small action of Eun-ha’s.
Because of that, Eun-ha often felt a heaviness in his chest, as if a boulder were resting there. He still didn’t know how to define this feeling.
Pressure? No. It wasn’t that. Rather…
“…It’s not cohabitation.”
“So you are doing something, then?”
Gu Hae-bin’s eyes sparkled with even more suspicion. There seemed to be a hint of absurdity in them as well. It was understandable. All of this had happened within about a month.
Even the party involved still occasionally found the rapidly changed reality surreal, so this guy would find it even more absurd… Since someone had suddenly practically set up a new household in the house while he had looked away for a moment.
It was even more so because this was a first-time behavior for him. So, Eun-ha gave up on trying to manage the situation. It didn’t seem like something that could be managed even if he tried.
Seeing his non-denying attitude, Gu Hae-bin now wore a look of interest. Though he didn’t know why there was a trace of distrust within it.
“Who is it?”
“Well, just…”
“Just?”
“Someone you know too.”
He brushed it off vaguely while rubbing the back of his neck. Mentioning the three syllables of the name properly felt awkward in its own way. It would be like declaring that he had become this and that with him…
But strangely, Gu Hae-bin’s eyes grew deeper with distrust. He lifted one arm from his crossed position and pressed his index finger to the bridge of his nose.
“There isn’t a single normal person among the people around you that I know.”
For some reason, it sounded like an insult. It felt as if he were saying that Eun-ha himself, who hung out with such people, wasn’t normal either.
It was then. While he was consistently looking displeased, Gu Hae-bin suddenly turned serious. Like someone whose thoughts had reached a certain destination. Then, his expression cooled completely as he stared.
“Hey. It’s not Kim Ji-woon, right?”
“…No, why is he even coming up?”
Frowning as if horrified by the sudden mention of that person, Eun-ha hit Gu Hae-bin’s forearm with emotion. It was a sound that was unpleasant just to hear.
“It’s not?”
“It’s not. It’s disgusting, so don’t even say that.”
“If you’re disgusted, then that’s a relief.”
Reading the sincerity in the vehement denial, Gu Hae-bin quickly softened again. Though the look urging for an explanation remained.
He suddenly craved a cigarette. Finally letting out a deep sigh, Eun-ha stroked his own forearm.
“…Well, didn’t you tell me to try meeting him? Normally. You said it yourself. That he seemed okay.”
Now that he had said it, he felt somewhat relieved. Gu Hae-bin froze in a motionless posture for about three seconds. As if slowly processing the words he had heard. Then, his eyes widened.
“Wow, no way, that kid?”
“…”
“Are you talking about the kid from your house?”
“What do you mean ‘the kid from my house’?”
“Holy shit, Lee Eun-ha.”
Suddenly, two hands landed firmly on both shoulders. Eun-ha twisted his body, annoyed by his friend’s sudden contact. Gu Hae-bin just kept shaking Eun-ha back and forth with a tight grip.
“Ah, crazy. Let go. What are you doing?”
“Hey. That was a damn good decision.”
“Yeah. I get it.”
“But what got into you?”
“What.”
“I’m asking what sudden change of heart you had.”
“What change. It just happened somehow. Stop asking.”
“How can I not ask? I’m damn curious. Don’t just gloss over it, tell me in detail. What happened?”
“Ah, why are you so interested in other people’s love lives…”
It had been a long time since the usually indifferent Gu Hae-bin looked this genuinely amused. Eun-ha wrinkled the bridge of his nose in annoyance and turned away. Gu Hae-bin, refusing to lose, followed behind him, pestering him.
“Love lives, he says. Hey. Where are you going? Hey. I told you to tell me! Huh?”
“Just piss off. If you’re done with your business, leave.”
“My business is just starting now.”
“You said you came to ask about the trip. I’m going. I’m going on the trip.”
“Yeah. A new piece of business just cropped up.”
He had no intention of backing down. As if to show him, Eun-ha plugged both ears tightly with his palms and thought: it was a huge relief that Yeon-jun wasn’t here right now.
If he had been caught while they were together… he didn’t even want to imagine it. How much he would have been tormented.
Right now, Yeon-jun was probably staying at his parents’ house. From what he had observed, he seemed to have a good relationship with his family, and he made sure to visit his parents’ home at least once every two weeks to spend about half a day there before returning.
Eun-ha checked the clock. 6:30 PM. Since he said he would eat dinner and come back slowly, he would arrive at 8:00 PM at the earliest…
Since he didn’t know when Gu Hae-bin would leave, he wondered if he should send a message telling him to come a bit slower.