By Zephyria 
That boy was truly busy. For starters, the timetable he received was unusual, and after school, he went to a part-time job; on the days he didn’t work, he was often called out to appointments. There were also quite a few times when he didn’t return until late at night.
Of course, that didn’t mean he was neglectful. He always put Eun-ha first. When they were apart, he frequently reached out to show his interest, and on the rare occasion that Eun-ha contacted him first, the response time never exceeded one minute. It was the same with phone calls.
He had done nothing wrong. Therefore, there was no need to express emotions that would only be detrimental to the relationship.
Separate from that, Eun-ha’s vain anxiety continued to swell in volume.
Especially on days like today, when his return home was later than expected.
“Hyung….”
Eun-ha caught Yeon-jun as he leaned in, shifting his weight onto him. A strong scent of alcohol wafted from the body he barely managed to support. It was a day when some department-wide event was held to celebrate the start of the semester. He had been dragged to an after-party by his classmates and had only just returned home. Quite naturally, Eun-ha had a petty thought about who might have been sitting next to or in front of him, but he quickly snapped out of it and dragged the heavy, drunken body to the bedroom. Pressing down on a certain dark something crawling up from deep within his chest toward his throat, he recalled his own freshman days.
A clean appearance tended to easily win people’s favor. Consequently, Eun-ha had never been unoccupied during his freshman year. Between pursuing romance and department life, his daily schedule was packed until night. Naturally, he drank a lot almost every single day.
So, there was no reason to feel bad. It wasn’t even as if he had been out of touch while drinking. He had contacted him at least twice an hour, and above all, he had wanted to escape the gathering. Eun-ha recalled the messages he had received from him about an hour ago.
[I wa-nt to go ho-me]
[Hyung]
[I mi-ss you]
[(Crying emoticon)]
After whining as if sending a distress signal, he had called thirty minutes ago. When Eun-ha answered, the sound of wind suggested he had stepped outside, and his slurred, slow speech could be heard. The gist was that he had lied, saying he had a curfew and would be beaten to death by his father if he stayed any later, just to get away. Eun-ha chuckled, baffled by the way he sold out his father just to go home. Then, in a reasonably good mood, he waited for him. But why again?
“Hyung, you smell….”
Yeon-jun, who had been collapsed on the bed in a disheveled state, suddenly groped for Eun-ha’s waist—who was perched on the edge of the bed—and wrapped his arms around him, burrowing into his embrace.
With narrowed eyes, Eun-ha looked down expressionlessly at that decidedly gorgeous face and spoke bluntly.
“You smell like alcohol.”
It was then that the closed eyelids flinched. Eventually, the boy slowly opened his eyes. Still completely drunk, with hazy pupils, he tilted his head slightly to look up at Eun-ha, momentarily focused his gaze, and then pulled away. He staggered as he sat up. As Eun-ha tilted his head to see if he had regained some consciousness, he was stopped by a hand that covered his forehead and pressed down firmly.
Blocking Eun-ha’s approach, Yeon-jun bent his head deep, looking dizzy. He muttered softly.
“No….”
“What’s no?”
“I’ll go wash up.”
Declaring it like a man of determination, Yeon-jun suddenly sprang from the bed and staggered for a moment. Watching the back of him walking into the bathroom, relying almost entirely on willpower, Eun-ha watched with a somewhat bewildered expression, then looked as if he understood. He was someone who always censored how he appeared to Eun-ha.
After finishing his shower and brushing his teeth cleanly, Yeon-jun returned to Eun-ha. As if by habit, he hugged Eun-ha’s waist, snuggled up, and fell asleep. And so, on the night he slept.
Sitting beside him, Eun-ha looked at the phone on the nightstand with eyes accustomed to the darkness. The phone, which belonged to Yeon-jun, repeatedly lit up with a short vibration just as it seemed to have gone quiet.
What kind of contact is it?
Who is contacting him?
What business is there to be contacting someone in the middle of the night?
“…….”
Like someone fighting an internal conflict, Eun-ha chewed on his lip before finally reaching out and pulling the phone toward him. As if he couldn’t bear it any longer.
There was no lock. He let out a short, hollow laugh. The transparency of not having even a common password set felt very much like him.
Eun-ha, who had momentarily lost the will to snoop, felt his heart beat erratically again at the vibration that showed no sign of stopping. Drowning in that heavy thumping, he finally tapped the messenger app. His gaze flitted busily across the screen. Messages were piled up. There were read ones and unread ones. The first thing that caught his eye was the chat room pinned at the very top, located right below the one with him.
What curfew, you live alone– 12:04 AM
While he was quietly reading the preview text, a complaining message was updated, asking if he was really going to disappear while they were buying ice cream. Starting with that, Eun-ha scanned down the list. There were read ones and those piled up unread. He entered the read ones to check them and only read the previews of the unread ones. By now, he had completely lost the critical thinking that usually controlled him.
In doing so, he discovered a few facts. First, the volume of contact was more extensive than he had imagined. No matter how much he scrolled down, the names of people were endless. Most were people Eun-ha didn’t know. While he thought it was only natural, it somehow felt unnatural. It was a bit grating. No. To be honest, it was quite grating.
He had guessed that quite a few people would be reaching out, but he hadn’t expected it to be to this extent.
Second, Yeon-jun’s replying pattern was somewhat different from the one he showed to Eun-ha. While the style of messages Eun-ha knew well involved an abundance of hearts and all sorts of cute special characters and emoticons at the end of every sentence, the format of conversations with others he discovered was of this nature.
Kim Hae-rim
What’cha doin? 10:11 AM
11:12 AM I slept
Ah I see
You slept from 10 until now? lol 11:15 AM
What you doin later today?? 11:31 AM
1:07 PM I have plans
Ah I see
Ok 1:12 PM
No matter which one he clicked, the conversations focused only on the business at hand. Generally, the response time was slow, he didn’t bother replying if there was nothing particular to say, and he spoke only the minimum necessary words in a static tone.
Park Chae-won
You said you have a girlfriend, right? 11:09 AM
1:49 PM Suddenly?
No lol my friend saw your photo
And asked me to check if you have a girlfriend lol 1:56 PM
Busy? 5:02 PM
6:01 PM My photo?
Ah
The one tagged on Insta lol 6:04 PM
Ah
6:22 PM Yeah, I have a girlfriend
Too bad 6:23 PM
What’s with the read-and-ignore lol 7:09 PM
Haha sorry
10:08 AM I didn’t have anything to say in response
Ah lol
That’s true
Hey by the way 10:10 AM
Can you give me your girlfriend’s Insta? 10:11 AM
5:41 PM Why?
Just curious hehehe 5:41 PM
Ah really honestly 7:23 PM
I just wanted to see if you actually have one 7:23 PM
The conversation ended there. After staring thoughtfully at the few lines where the read markers had disappeared, Eun-ha moved to the next chat room.
Park Soo-hyun
Drinks this Friday, go? 1:10 PM
Kim Sang-kyu can’t make it, but everyone else is coming 1:10 PM
Park Soo-hyun was a name he had vaguely heard. He remembered the boy mentioning once in passing that he was one of his high school friends.
1:34 PM I can’t, I have plans
What plans? 1:36 PM
2:01 PM Date with my boyfriend
lol
You’ve really been bullshitting since last time
Just say you’re too lazy to come out lol 2:31 PM
Hey but honestly you’re joking, right?
The idea of you becoming gay is too much
Out of nowhere;; 2:50 PM
4:02 PM It’s for real
Fck
Just tell me when we meet
So when are you free?? 4:28 PM
I don’t know, I’m too busy lately
4:49 PM I don’t even have enough time to be with Hyung
Hyung my ass 4:55 PM
Sigh I’m seriously so confused 4:57 PM