2.4 – the way of love

The water was a deep, bluish grey.

At dawn, when the sun was faintly rising, the pool was dark. The skylight was made of glass, allowing dazzling sunlight to pour in during the day, but that was useless while the sun was absent; the space viewed from beneath the water took on a dark, bluish-grey hue.

Visibility would be blocked by pitch-blackness if one descended just a few meters, but the depth of this indoor pool was at most three meters at its deepest point. Thus, Yuri enjoyed the dim silence within the shimmering, deep bluish-grey water.

However, the cozy void of thought did not last long. At a certain moment, bright lights suddenly flooded the entire world. The faintly dark surface of the water wavered in a blinding white.

It seemed someone had entered.

When Yuri first entered the pool, there had been no one. Although it was dimly lit, it wasn’t so dark as to be invisible; in fact, Yuri didn’t mind much if he couldn’t see ahead while underwater. That was why he had entered the water without turning on the lights, remaining in the darkness.

Listening closely, he heard the dull, plodding sound of someone’s presence. The person who had turned on the lights and entered the room seemed to be intending to get into the pool.

Yuri thought for a moment about what to do, but without much deliberation, he decided to surface.

A similar situation had happened once before; he had ignored it and continued swimming underwater, which nearly led to a troublesome encounter.

Back then, a man who had entered the dark pool and turned on the lights, believing it to be empty, had been absolutely terrified—bordering on a seizure—when something (Yuri, who had been gliding underwater without much thought) suddenly slid beneath him.

Yuri remembered feeling quite wronged because, after he had pulled the man out of the pool, massaged him, and brought him water, the man had immediately started hurling curses at him as soon as he regained his senses. However, since Yuri could not be free from the responsibility of having caused the situation in the first place, he had silently taken all those insults.

He had no desire to experience such a situation again.

Setting aside the insults, he knew all too well how dangerous it could be for someone to suffer an unexpected shock while in the water.

“…―.”

Exhaling a long breath, Yuri surfaced and looked toward where the presence was. Since there was a reasonable distance between them, the person wouldn’t be startled to the point of a seizure, but he felt slightly sorry that someone who thought the pool was empty would still flinch when someone suddenly popped up.

However, Yuri’s expectation was wrong. The person standing by the pool, as if waiting for him to come out, was Ling Xinlu.

Instead, Yuri was the one surprised, blinking blankly on the spot, until he snapped out of it upon hearing Ling Xinlu ask, “Do you like it?” and swam toward him.

“What brings you up so early?”

“Ah—I woke up to go to the bathroom for a moment, and I saw your door was open but you weren’t inside. I wondered if you’d gone swimming, so I looked out the veranda, but there was no one in the outdoor pool. I woke up fully wondering where a person could have vanished to at this hour.”

“I figured you’d be here,” Ling Xinlu murmured, looking as though he had indeed just woken up, just as he said.

He had a knee blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape and was dragging his slippers, scratching his messy, protruding hair and picking sleep from the corners of his eyes. Seeing that he didn’t look unsightly in the slightest even then, Yuri had a fleeting, random thought that innate beauty really is important.

“You were swimming in the outdoor pool until yesterday, but you’ve moved indoors?”

Ling Xinlu picked up the water bottle Yuri had left by the pool with his towel and took a long drink while looking around. It seemed this was his first time visiting the gym provided for residents on the top floor of the mansion. And, of course, the indoor pool attached to it.

“The outside air is starting to get chilly. …….”

Yuri started to say more but stopped midway.

He wondered when Ling Xinlu, who usually didn’t leave his bed until Yuri finished swimming and returned home due to his love for morning sleep, had noticed all that. Ling Xinlu was the type to know a surprising amount about others without showing it.

“I suppose the water is too cold for swimming outside now, isn’t it?”

Having emptied half the bottle in one go, Ling Xinlu pulled over a folding chair and sat down. It didn’t seem like he was leaving anytime soon.

“No… the water is still fine. It’s actually warmer inside the water than outside. But it’s difficult when the outside air is cold the moment you get out.”

That was why he decided to use the indoor pool from today onward, until the cold season passed and the weather warmed up.

“I see,” Ling Xinlu nodded and gave a thin smile.

“I chose a mansion with well-equipped resident sports facilities because of you, Mr. Gable, so it’s really rewarding. It would be a waste not to use the provided facilities.”

Yet, despite saying that, Ling Xinlu himself never used the pool or the adjacent sports facilities. As far as Yuri knew, this was his first time here.

“I should probably exercise a bit too,” Ling Xinlu murmured, looking around the empty space, then looked at Yuri and chuckled.

“Do you like the water that much?”

“Yes, I do.”

When he answered readily without needing to think, the smile deepened.

“More than sleep?”

When a comparative was introduced, the answer naturally took a bit longer.

“As long as my minimum need for sleep has been met.”

No matter how much he loved it, he wouldn’t choose the pool over his bed if he hadn’t slept a wink.

At that, Ling Xinlu suddenly laughed as if it were absurd.

“Minimum need for sleep? Mr. Gable, do you live on only two or three hours of sleep a day? You were awake with me yesterday and didn’t fall asleep until after three. Do you know what time it is now?”

Looking at the wall clock which had just hit six in the morning, Yuri remained silent. He almost mentioned that because he always woke up around the same time, his eyes opened naturally even if he went to bed late, but he decided against it. He felt Ling Xinlu, whose wake-up time was as inconsistent as a chameleon’s, wouldn’t listen to that anyway.

“Wow… but your stamina is really insane, Mr. Gable… are you even human? To wake up perfectly fine after only two or three hours of sleep and even come here to exercise.”

“It’s closer to coming here to rest than to exercise.”

“Ah, yes, is that so?”

As expected, he wasn’t listening.

Being told he had good stamina could be taken as a compliment, but hearing “are you even human?” in a slightly sarcastic tone made him feel as if he’d been insulted, leaving him feeling somewhat wronged.

For Yuri, entering the water was truly rest, not exercise; moreover, the one with the actual superior stamina was Ling Xinlu.

Just look at yesterday.

If one were to be precise, the reason he had gone to bed so late last night was because of Ling Xinlu. And it wasn’t just staying up late. They had spent the entire day hiking. Ling Huorong, who remained vigorous even in his seventies, often went hiking, proclaiming that “the benevolent love the mountains,” and yesterday he had set out with several direct family members. (It was as well-known as his love for hiking that many outsiders cursed him, wondering what possible connection there was between the benevolent man and the cold-blooded Ling Huorong.)

The mountain was just over a thousand meters and the trails were well-maintained, so the hike wasn’t particularly difficult. However, it wasn’t that easy for the aging Ling Huorong; in areas where the terrain became a bit rugged, Ling Xinlu mostly supported him.

Despite the taxing nature of climbing a mountain while taking care of another person, Ling Xinlu looked completely unfazed after reaching the summit and descending.

The problem arose when they had descended almost to the entrance of the hiking trail—meaning the hike was nearly over—when his second older brother mentioned with a grave face that he had left his electronic organizer up on the mountain.

The issue wasn’t buying a new one, but the schedule stored inside, and as the brother expressed his distress, Ling Xinlu readily offered to go back up. Consequently, Yuri had to go back up with him. To make matters worse, the place where the brother had left the organizer was the temporary rest area closest to the summit.

In the end, after sending the other family members home first and returning from the mountain, by the time they stopped by the main house and returned to the mansion, it was very late at night. Although Yuri didn’t show it on his indifferent face, his limbs were actually feeling heavy and sluggish.

Strictly speaking, Ling Xinlu should have been more exhausted than Yuri. On the second descent, he had supported Yuri, who had nearly slipped and slightly sprained his ankle.

Even in that situation, Ling Xinlu returned home looking perfectly fine, without a trace of exhaustion. To be precise, he was no different from his usual self; although he said, “My eyes are tired. Please give me a massage,” he didn’t complain of fatigue any more than usual.

And even after playing a card game for fun until three in the morning, while he mentioned being sleepy, he never once said he was tired.

Since he didn’t think about it often, he usually forgot, but come to think of it, this bright and lovely-looking young man was the chief of UNHRDO. Well, if that were the case, it made sense that his stamina would spring forth like an inexhaustible fountain.

Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t just stamina; he seemed surprisingly strong too… After moving into the mansion, when Ling Xinlu decided he didn’t like the furniture arrangement, he had moved the bed and wardrobe without any effort…

The more he thought about it, the more Yuri felt wronged for being asked if he was human by such a person.

“I suppose my stamina became inhumanly good because I live in the water every day.”

He replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster, but with his indifferent tone and expression, the sarcasm didn’t seem to come across properly. Ling Xinlu simply nodded innocently, saying, “I guess that’s true.”

“Hmm… my stamina hasn’t been what it used to be lately… Maybe I should try going in.”

Ling Xinlu murmured while staring blankly at the pool where Yuri was submerged up to his neck. Yuri raised an eyebrow slightly.

“I thought you weren’t allowed in the pool?”

“Who says I can’t go in? I just don’t. I believe I told you I know how to swim?”

Ling Xinlu replied as if it were a silly question and splashed one foot, stripped of its slipper, into the pool. He murmured, wondering what to do, while patting the surface of the water with his foot.

“But haven’t you avoided the water for nearly ten years?”

“Hmm—roughly around that. You know your stuff.”

Yuri remained silent at the casual question, “Who did you hear that from?”

‘If it weren’t for that bastard who just watched a young child drown, I would have grown up loving the water too,’ Ling Xinlu murmured while stirring the water with his foot, and Yuri had nothing to say. He simply kept his mouth shut.

Fortunately, the awkwardness didn’t last long, as Ling Xinlu turned back to Yuri, his thoughts having shifted.

“Do you think I’ve forgotten since it’s been so long?”

“No, you probably haven’t forgotten. Swimming is something the body remembers. But your form has likely deteriorated a lot.”

“Form,” Ling Xinlu repeated, chuckling.

“I’m not entering a competition; I’m swimming for my own enjoyment. Is form still important?”

“A competition?”

Yuri questioned back with a face that showed he had never even considered such a thing, then shook his head.

“Learning the basic form isn’t about getting a high score in a competition; it’s because it’s the way to enjoy the water while putting the least strain on the body. You learn how to enjoy the water with the least amount of effort. …At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“Is that so,” Ling Xinlu murmured, staring intently at Yuri, then suddenly beamed.

“You sound just like an instructor. …You really do love the water… Well then, shall I try going in?”

Ling Xinlu took off the knee blanket from his shoulders and draped it over the chair. It seemed he had come out wearing only the blanket over a pair of knee-length shorts instead of pajamas.

“It’s okay to go in with shorts, right?”

Before Yuri could say anything, Ling Xinlu dove into the pool. Splash! A large spray of water erupted, and the surface shook violently.

The figure that seemed to sink beneath the pool soon rose near the surface, his body tilted flat. Swoosh, swoosh, his body sliced through the water, quickly reaching the other side of the pool.

A body moving flexibly and beautifully.

While he initially cut through the water roughly, Ling Xinlu’s form gradually became more refined as he swam. As he had said, it would be difficult to enter a competition, but it was more than enough for enjoyment.

Stopping at the opposite end and returning, Ling Xinlu stood up, exhaling a sharp, ragged breath. As he swept back the hair clinging to his face, he looked remarkably refreshed for someone who claimed not to swim and to hate pools.

Yuri, who had been watching him silently, met the gaze of Ling Xinlu, who was wiping the water from his face with his palm, and asked, “Did you have a good swim?” Ling Xinlu, rubbing his face with his forearm and staring intently at Yuri, had a smile in his eyes.

“Why are you smiling like that? Was my form that strange?”

Only then did Yuri realize he was smiling. He soon realized why.

He liked that Ling Xinlu was in the water.

He was genuinely glad and happy that the man was enjoying the water that he loved so much. He felt truly good that the man—who might have come to hate the water because of him (though Yuri felt quite wronged to think that)—was now in the water.

“No. You did well. So well that it’s hard to believe it’s been over ten years since you last swam.”

“Whatever it is, as long as I know the knack, I’m better than average. Even with swimming, though it’s been a while, I was quite good as a child.”

Even the way he calmly bragged about himself was pleasant. Yuri ended up laughing.

“But my body isn’t moving as well as I thought. It feels like the water is slipping past my arms….”

“It’s probably because your elbows are drifting too far outward. Why don’t you try pulling them in a bit more?”

He felt as if he had truly become a swimming instructor, but even that was welcome.

Yuri swam a few meters in front of him at a slow pace. Ling Xinlu, watching every detail of Yuri’s form, imitated him and swam again. It seemed his claim about being better than average if he knew the knack wasn’t an empty boast; even without explicit explanation, he seemed to figure out the key points on his own.

“Just a bit more with the arms… no, don’t use your shoulders too much, just relax. …Wait a moment.”

Yuri approached Ling Xinlu, who was swimming in close proximity while lying flat on the surface. If there were parts that were difficult to grasp just by watching, it was best to show him directly.

To ensure Ling Xinlu wouldn’t sink even if he lifted his head or moved part of his body, Yuri wrapped one arm around his waist to support him on the surface and leaned over his back. Almost overlapping as if lying on top of him, Yuri reached out, grabbed his wrist, and slowly rotated it at a steady angle. So that he could feel it directly with his body.

“Like this,” Yuri whispered, repeating the motion a few more times, when he suddenly fell silent.

Only then did he become conscious of the body so close to his own.

The body heat transmitted directly through their touching skin felt exceptionally hot, perhaps because they were in the cool water.

His heart raced. It beat so loudly—thump, thump—that he worried the vibration might be felt by the other man through their skin.

At the same time, he couldn’t help but be impressed.

It was a pretty body.

Calling it “pretty” was perhaps an understatement. It was a beautiful body. A man’s body with flowing lines, so stunningly beautiful it inspired awe.

Suddenly, he recalled a night—when was it?—where he might have experienced this body more deeply. A night where they had kissed, tasted each other’s tongues, and where he had felt directly against the skin just how hot the other’s body temperature was. Though, in the end, it had stopped halfway.

He felt neither regret nor longing, yet occasionally, he thought of it. That soft, sweet scent.

“…….”

Let’s stop. Thinking of things that would upset him if he knew.

After adjusting Ling Xinlu’s posture enough for him to grasp the sensation, Yuri released the arms that had been holding him. As his arms pulled away, the cool water immediately clung to him. It felt as if the memory of that warm body heat was being stolen away, leaving him feeling a slight sense of loss.

“……Like this. Do you understand what it feels like?”

“I think so.”

Ling Xinlu nodded. He swam a few laps alone in the immediate area. He seemed to have caught the knack of it, nodding to himself.

It was right after that.

As if drawing a line, nodding as if to say, ‘Okay, that’s settled,’ he lifted his head and looked at Yuri. His gaze, unreadable, remained fixed on him for a while.

Facing him calmly, Yuri tilted his head in curiosity. After watching Yuri for a moment longer, Ling Xinlu eventually let out a deep, beaming smile.

“I think about this sometimes, but I really feel like you’re a pure-hearted person. No, I mean it in a good way, a good way.”

When Yuri frowned slightly at the ambiguous modifier, Ling Xinlu quickly added that it was in a good way, yet he smiled subtly, as if it weren’t entirely a compliment.

“Something just occurred to me. I don’t mean anything by it, I’m just curious.”

“Yes?”

Cutting himself off, Ling Xinlu stared at Yuri for a moment. He seemed to be debating whether to speak or not, but soon opened his mouth with a pretty, smiling gaze.

“Don’t you feel any greed, even in a situation like this?”

Even though we’re tangled up, almost naked? Hearing Ling Xinlu add the playful remark, Yuri finally realized what he was talking about.

As their bare skin brushed, perhaps Ling Xinlu had also recalled the past, just as Yuri had. Or, being a man as perceptive as he was, perhaps he had noticed that Yuri had been thinking his body was beautiful while looking at him.

Either way, Yuri’s face grew hot. Slowly, slowly.

Ling Xinlu seemed to notice the flush creeping onto the face of Yuri, who was merely staring back at him with a blunt expression and saying nothing. Oh, I said it as a joke, but seriously? Ling Xinlu tilted his head and laughed as if he couldn’t help it. Watching him, Yuri muttered bluntly.

“I do.”

Looking straight at the man whose smile vanished for a brief second, Yuri slowly continued.

“Your body is beautiful, Mr. Ling Xinlu. That’s why I feel the greed to keep looking at it.”

Moreover, it was a body whose warmth he had once felt, however clumsily. With such a body exposing its fine skin right before his eyes, it would be stranger not to feel such greed.

Ling Xinlu looked at Yuri, who answered seriously despite his heated face, with a somewhat troubled expression, and then grimaced while still smiling. He let out a sigh-like laugh, muttering to himself, I shouldn’t have asked.

“So you mean that’s the only greed you feel.”

Yuri nodded. After a brief silence, an unexpectedly cool answer returned.

“I like that. That much is fine.”

Yuri looked up at him with only his eyes. He didn’t understand what “that much” was fine with. However, Ling Xinlu, smiling as if to end the conversation, didn’t seem particularly displeased.

“Since it’s okay to be that greedy, I look forward to your help in the future.”

“……? Yes, I look forward to working with you as well.”

He thought it was a somewhat redundant greeting to say “in the future,” but Yuri nodded and replied in kind. Immediately after, Ling Xinlu let him know what “the future” entailed.

“Wake me up at dawn too. I want to try swimming to build up some stamina. Please teach me well, Teacher.”

『You’re the one with the beautiful body.』

Annette burst into a loud fit of laughter that made the receiver rattle before speaking decisively.

“……. Is that so?”

Yuri muttered ambiguously. He had been talking about how someone else’s body was beautiful, so he didn’t understand the context of why this response suddenly came back. Then again, Annette often threw out random comments that were out of context.

The mention of swimming with his employer every dawn had come up by chance. Knowing that Yuri preferred outdoor pools over indoor ones—though if circumstances allowed, he preferred the ocean far more—Annette had mentioned casually, It’s getting cold lately, so you’ll have to use the indoor pool; that’s a shame.

‘It’s fine. It’s attached to the mansion, so it’s a bit small, but there’s no problem with two people fitting in.’

『Two people? Why two people?』

‘Mr. Ling Xinlu started swimming a while ago. So we go together at dawn.’

After saying that, Yuri called her name, wondering if the call had been disconnected because there was no answer for a moment.

‘Annette?’

『What’s gotten into you? You don’t usually like swimming with other people. You must have become very close with your employer, huh?』

To her playful teasing—mentioning how he had seemed reluctant even when she asked him to go to the pool—Yuri offered a belated apology, saying, I’m sorry.

It was true that Yuri didn’t particularly enjoy swimming with others. It wasn’t a quirk so severe that he wouldn’t enter a pool if someone else was in it, but he preferred places that were spacious and quiet. Where he could feel the water without being disturbed by anyone.

……But this wasn’t bad.

The sensation of a familiar and lovely person being somewhere in the same water.

『What’s he like? Is he a good swimmer?』

To her curious question, Yuri, who had been lost in thought for a moment, spoke the first thing that came to mind.

That his body was beautiful.

Then, once again, there was silence over the receiver for a while. The silence was longer than before. Just as Yuri was about to call out ‘Annette?’ again, thinking the call had finally dropped.

『Ahahaha……, Kyahaha……』

A laugh that didn’t sound human, stretching on endlessly, erupted from the other end. She seemed to collapse from laughing; a loud thud was heard, followed by a series of ow, ow, ow. Even then, she continued to giggle uncontrollably, muttering how unexpected, oh my god, until the sound of someone kicking a chair to tell her to snap out of it was heard. It seemed Derek was with her.

『Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve laughed like this. I didn’t know you’d say something like that. But, the one with the beautiful body is you!』

When Yuri asked skeptically, ‘Is that so?’ to her blunt statement, a firm 『Of course!』 came back immediately.

『Why do you think I dated you for several months, even though our personalities as lovers didn’t match that well? It was solely because your physique was great. You were so beautiful.』

“……. Thank you for the compliment.”

Yeah, so next time, come to the pool with me too, she added playfully, and Yuri waited patiently for her to return to the receiver after she spent another while unable to speak from laughing.

Once her laughter had finally subsided, Annette spoke in a voice that became slightly serious, though she was still smiling.

『Using you as a swimming instructor… that youngest master is indulging in far too luxurious a luxury. I feel like your talent is being wasted.』

“It’s not really like that. I’m doing well. But Annette, didn’t you call because you had some business?”

『Ah, right, right. But since it’s a simple matter that I could ask anyone else, just think of it as me using this as an excuse to call you one more time.』

Having set that premise, she brought up a simple topic, just as she said. She wanted him to find out what a man she was currently investigating for work had been doing during a short stay in China recently.

As they served as each other’s contacts—and maintained a similar network with the colleagues around them—it was natural for them to give and receive help at any time. In cases like Yuri, who was employed elsewhere, the premise was that it must not interfere with his primary job, but since there was generally no one-sided provision in the long run, they could exchange help quite readily.

“I see. But since I can’t go around investigating in person, I’ll need time. If it’s not a matter with plenty of leeway, it would be better to look into other avenues as well.”

As he answered, Yuri recorded the target’s personal information she provided. A routine conversation followed: I’ll have to look into it, but I think it’ll take about fifteen days, and It’s fine, I’ve told other people too.

However, having finished the business talk in less than a tenth of the time they spent chatting, she started giggling again, apparently finding the previous conversation too funny to let go. Occasionally, she would find things hysterically amusing that Yuri couldn’t understand, and this seemed to be one of those cases.

Was saying a body is beautiful really that strange?

Yuri thought about it again, but it didn’t seem like a strange thing to say. Moreover, if she saw him in person, she would truly think he had a beautiful body. To the point where it would be a pity to look away. It was a man’s body, flawlessly complete in itself.

But thinking about it again, even Yuri felt he might be a bit too immersed.

Even this dawn, he had been called out. It wasn’t a reprimand or a scolding, but Ling Xinlu, who had been smiling subtly throughout the swim, finally let out a small laugh toward the end.

‘I said it was okay to be that greedy, but you really do stare intensely.’

Adding the playful question Do you like it that much?, Ling Xinlu revealed that he had known Yuri’s gaze was fixed on him the whole time as he left the pool. Yet, he was nonchalant as he dried himself right in front of that gaze.

‘Not just the body, but the way you swim is also beautiful.’

‘Swim?’

Ling Xinlu looked back with eyes that seemed to say, If it’s that, you’re probably better at it. But Yuri wasn’t talking about skill.

Ling Xinlu always moved energetically in the water. Cutting through the water relentlessly without a moment’s rest, just watching him gave the feeling of being ‘alive.’ As if he were life itself. ……It would be a lie to say he didn’t sometimes feel it was unfair that such a person would say he needed to build up stamina, but he couldn’t take his eyes off that vitality itself.

‘You’re like a fish that lives in a tropical sea.’

When Yuri spoke calmly, Ling Xinlu stared at him with wide eyes while rubbing his body with a towel.

‘It’s not the first or second time I’ve been complimented on my looks…… but that is a compliment, right?’

‘Yes.’

Seeing Yuri nod, Ling Xinlu burst into laughter.

‘Ah, really, people who love water give compliments like that—…, thank you. It’s a bit odd as an answer, but Mr. Gable, you’re also cool when I see you gliding submerged in the water. You’re beautiful, like a deep-sea fish.’

Yuri just blinked for a moment, staring at Ling Xinlu. Ling Xinlu looked back as if asking why. In terms of context, it was a positive thing. However.

‘Thank you. ……But deep-sea fish are not beautiful-looking fish.’

‘I know.’

The answer came back quickly and concisely.

How grotesque their appearance, evolved over eons to survive in those depths where light never reaches, must look to those who live on land.

But Ling Xinlu smiled and added, as concisely as his previous answer.

‘But I like them. Those creatures that live leisurely and slowly in the deep ocean.’

Hearing him add It’s nice, isn’t it?, Yuri fell silent.

It was troubling. He had been flustered again.

He had never thought of himself as someone easily swayed by others’ words, but with this man, even trivial remarks could suddenly unsettle his heart. Furthermore—though it was more of an embarrassment than a problem—this man could tell just by looking at Yuri’s expressionless face whenever he was flustered. This time too, after glancing at Yuri’s blunt, silent face, he smiled and asked, ‘What is it this time?’

Perhaps he had been staring too openly. Because his greed to look was being fulfilled so naturally, it felt as if an even greater desire was swelling. Day by day, the feeling that this was becoming somewhat problematic grew stronger.

What if, by some slim chance…… by some truly slim chance, he were to get an erection? In a pool where there was nothing to hide, in front of him.

The mere imagination made him want to sink into those deep depths. To truly become a deep-sea fish and go to that pitch-black place where not a single ray of light enters, where no one could find him.

“…….”

He hadn’t expected to have such childish worries at his age. Yuri let out a heavy sigh.

『Why the sigh?』

Annette, who had been showing signs of saying goodbye and hanging up, must have heard the sound; she paused and asked inquisitively, perhaps out of concern.

He envied women who didn’t even have the room to have such absurd worries in the first place.

Thinking that Annette would just burst into laughter again if she found out, Yuri quietly shook his head.

“It’s nothing, Annette.”

『Really?』

Only after confirming several times did she say, Okay, then, sounding relieved.

『I don’t worry about you no matter where I throw you, but on the other hand, I worry about you no matter where you are. You know, right? I love you, Yuri.』

A popping sound of a kiss was heard over the receiver. Yuri couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you. I love you too, Annette.”

Now that both his maternal grandmother and mother had passed away, this person might be the woman closest to him. Even if it was purely platonic affection.

Only after the call ended with the sound of laughter did Yuri slowly put down the receiver. Whenever he spoke with her, his heart always felt a little lighter. She must be a water-like person to someone as well.

“Who was it? A girlfriend?”

Just then, an intrigued voice came from behind. Ling Xinlu, who had just finished showering in the bathroom, was looking at Yuri with curious eyes while drying his hair.

“Shall I try to guess? Hmm―― Annette?”

When Ling Xinlu pretended to think for a moment and then said Annette’s name, Yuri raised an eyebrow. He nodded, saying That’s correct, and looked at him with a slightly surprised expression, as if asking how he knew. Seeing this, Ling Xinlu laughed out loud.

“Mr. Gable’s relationships with women are too simple.”

He took out a can of beer, went to the sofa, and sat down, muttering, ‘Ah, I’m exhausted――’. Yuri, knowing that he possessed the stamina to swim dozens of laps in a hundred-meter pool in his current state, wasn’t fooled. Still, seeing him rub his eyelids, saying his eyes were tired, Yuri ended up approaching and sitting beside him.

“Was it a call to ask for a favor?”

“Yes. Though it’s not something particularly important or difficult.”

“Hmm…… it’s a society where people help each other.”

There had been several occasions in the past where calls came to Yuri for similar reasons. Contacting or asking a favor from someone who might know the desired information was a common occurrence. Since Yuri did the same when necessary, such contacts were already part of his daily routine.

“But come to think of it, the number of women who contact Mr. Gable is really countable on one hand. Who else is there besides Annette?”

As he counted people like Xiao Chun, the number didn’t exceed one hand no matter how much he thought. Yuri, who had suddenly become a man very unpopular with women, remained expressionless.

“Most of the people in this line of work are men. There are many women in desk work, though.”

Since the work of struggling to find out what others didn’t know often involved harsh situations, most of those in the field were men. Annette had also worked in the field long ago, but she moved to a desk position shortly after.

“A workplace full of only men…….”

As if the mere thought of it brought to mind a stifling and dark image, Ling Xinlu shook his head slowly.

“Well, UNHRDO was like that too. Especially the Asia branch—there were no women at all. During special training periods when weekend outings were banned, it wasn’t uncommon for guys to be desperate, constantly whining about wanting a woman.”

“I see,” Yuri nodded, but then suddenly fell silent.

Yuri knew exactly what that kind of situation was like.

Among his own colleagues, there were several who were exceptionally obsessed with women. Occasionally, when work kept them from seeing women for a while, they would become edgy, and some would spend every waking moment complaining, saying things like ‘I want to do it, I want to fuck, I want to cum.’

If it was a place with only men, UNHRDO likely wasn’t much different.

“…….”

Yuri gazed intently at Ling Xinlu, who was calmly drinking his beer. He was a man so radiant and lovely that he could easily outshine most beauties. Moreover, he was someone whose habit of treating people with a smile and kindness—at least on the surface—was ingrained in him.

To think that such a person had been mixed into such a harsh environment; he must have gone through many hardships. Just thinking about it made Yuri’s chest feel tight.

Ling Xinlu, noticing Yuri looking at him gloomily—yet still with an indifferent expression—looked back. After gazing at Yuri for a moment as if lost in thought, he tilted his head slightly.

“Did you ever have a hard time with things outside of work while you were working?”

“……. Me? No, I didn’t.”

Yuri blinked for a moment, surprised to hear the very question he had wanted to ask, and then shook his head.

“Is that so?” Ling Xinlu murmured skeptically.

“At first glance, you don’t seem like it, Mr. Gable, but if one gets to know you, you have a surprisingly soft side to your personality.”

“Do I?” Yuri tilted his head, reflecting on himself, but regardless of his unconvinced expression, Ling Xinlu looked down at the space between them where they were sitting.

“Try sitting a bit further over.”

Ling Xinlu gestured for Yuri to move away. Once Yuri had shifted, Ling Xinlu lay down right there. His still-damp hair rested on Yuri’s thigh. Yuri felt the thin cotton pants becoming moist.

Seeing Ling Xinlu let out a long sigh and rub his eyelids as if exhausted, Yuri started to lift himself up, saying, “Hold on a second.” Around this time, whenever Ling Xinlu finished showering and lay with his head on Yuri’s lap, Yuri usually covered his eyes with a warm towel and massaged them.

As Yuri tried to stand up to get the warm towel, Ling Xinlu seemed to hesitate for a moment before saying, “No,” and pressing his head firmly against Yuri’s thigh.

“I don’t want to move my head. It’s a hassle. Just massage me like this.”

With that, he closed his eyes.

Yuri looked at him and lowered his half-raised body back down. Then, he slowly covered Ling Xinlu’s eyes with his palms.

Ssh-ssh. The long eyelashes brushed against his palms, tickling them. He gently stroked the eyelids, which were as soft and thin as the lashes, and pressed down with his fingertips.

As he relaxed the area over and around the eyes, he could see Ling Xinlu’s body slowly loosening. Starting from the expression of a long, pleasant breath, the tension left his neck, shoulders, back, and entire body, as he slumped comfortably as if falling into a languid sleep.

Watching this, Yuri felt the tension drain from his own heart as well; he liked this time. It was a quiet and peaceful moment.

The only thing audible was the rhythmic sound of breathing, which seemed to whisper that it was comfortable and felt good.

As if sharing some kind of communion, Yuri also became languid and relaxed, letting out a quiet, deep breath.

It was around then. Suddenly, at some point.

“Thank you.”

A softly whispered voice reached him.

Yuri, who had been quietly looking down at Ling Xinlu, remained silent for a moment at the words whispered by the flickering lips before replying, “It’s fine.”

He could do this as much as needed. Massaging the eyes so that the blind ones would no longer ache and the seeing ones would not become any more tired was not a difficult task. Moreover, rather than being thanked, Yuri himself was enjoying this time deep in his heart.

Ling Xinlu likely knew that too. He probably already knew that Yuri was breathing comfortably while massaging his eyes, yet the corners of his mouth curved into a faint smile.

“I’m just saying it because that’s how I feel. Not just for relaxing my eyes right now, but for various other things. Thank you.”

After a short pause, Yuri gave a brief reply. “You’re welcome.”

He didn’t know exactly what he was being thanked for, but he was simply happy if Ling Xinlu had gained something worth being grateful for because of him. He smiled calmly, thinking that at least he hadn’t made him unpleasant.

“But just saying thank you without giving anything in return… I feel a bit bad, like I’m always just receiving. Is there anything you want?”

However, at this question from Ling Xinlu, the smile vanished. Yuri looked down at him awkwardly. Something he wanted. He wasn’t the type to have material desires, so he had never really thought about it.

“No, there isn’t.”

“Still, think about it. I want to give you something.”

“I don’t know… but I already received a swimsuit as a gift recently… I really don’t need anything.”

Yuri thought about it for a moment, but since nothing came to mind, he shook his head.

Besides, now that he mentioned it, even if he received something as a gift, he wouldn’t feel at ease if he didn’t use it.

The swimsuit was a case in point.

A while ago, when Ling Xinlu had suddenly thrust a square package at him, saying, ‘It’s a gift,’ Yuri had wondered what it was. It wasn’t a special occasion, nor was there any particular reason for a gift, but since it was a present, he thanked him and opened it on the spot. However, he was momentarily speechless when he saw the swimsuit inside.

He was certain that not long ago, he had mentioned in passing that the swimsuit he was currently using was still perfectly fine. Did I perhaps phrase it incorrectly in the negative?

Glancing over, Yuri locked eyes with Ling Xinlu, who had casually tossed the package as a gift and then gone into the room to change clothes before coming back out.

‘Why? Do you not like the color? I put a lot of thought into picking something that would suit you, Mr. Gable. Should I go exchange it?’

Having absolutely no interest in dressing up, Yuri didn’t care whether the swimsuit was red or had an Aloha floral pattern as long as the size fit. While replying, ‘No, I like it. Thank you,’ he stared blankly at the swimsuit, unable to understand why he had suddenly thrown it his way.

But thinking about it, if one gives a gift, it should be something the recipient likes, and since Yuri liked swimming, a swimsuit was a good choice.

Yuri convinced himself of this and thanked Ling Xinlu once more.

‘I’ll keep it carefully and use it when the one I’m using now is completely worn out. Thank you.’

However, as soon as the words left Yuri’s mouth, Ling Xinlu’s expression cooled instantly, so quickly that Yuri flinched, wondering if he had said something wrong.

‘Throw away the one you’re using now.’

‘Pardon? …It’s still wearable. It’s perfectly fine.’

It wasn’t torn, nor was it frayed.

But Ling Xinlu glared at him with disapproval.

‘Throw it away. It’s dirty.’

‘…….’

The words I wash it every day rose to the top of his throat, but Ling Xinlu’s gaze was so desolate that Yuri couldn’t bring himself to say it.

In the end, Yuri threw away the swimsuit he had cherished for several years right in front of Ling Xinlu, and had been using the new one since then. Because he had been slightly shocked that it looked dirty despite washing it every day, he now put much more effort into laundering it than before.

I shower every day and change my clothes every day… As Yuri felt gloomy with an indifferent face, Ling Xinlu asked again.

“Really nothing you want?”

He grasped Yuri’s hand, which had been covering his eyelids, and lifted it slightly. Beneath it, black eyes blinked as they looked up at Yuri.

“Nothing.”

When Yuri shook his head and spoke quietly but firmly, Ling Xinlu looked a bit disappointed. Hmm, nothing, huh, he thought, absentmindedly scratching Yuri’s palm.

Occasionally, when he was in a good mood, Ling Xinlu would show this kind of cat-like aegyo. He had been doing it quite often lately, and because it was somehow lovely, Yuri secretly liked the sensation. In those moments, Ling Xinlu, glancing at Yuri, seemed to know that Yuri enjoyed such behavior.

Then, looking at him with narrowed eyes as if saying, ‘Be grateful that I’m acting cute for you,’ he looked like an arrogant yet lovely cat, making Yuri smile.

“Alright then. Tell me if you think of something later. I’ve received so many things from you, Mr. Gable, that I’ve been thinking I should do something for you too.”

Ling Xinlu pulled Yuri’s hand and covered his own face with it. Ssh. The eyelashes closing tickled the palm again.

Then, suddenly,

“……Smells good.”

Ling Xinlu whispered as if talking to himself. He lifted his head slightly, rubbing his face against Yuri’s hand, and lightly buried his nose in the palm. Yuri could feel him inhaling.

“Something smells good. Is it soap?”

Yuri tilted his head. He lifted his other hand and smelled it, but there wasn’t any particular scent.

“I’m not sure, but I washed a little while ago, so it might be the smell of soap. Or perhaps it’s a scent that transferred from your face since I was touching it.”

“No, I don’t think it’s that…….”

Ling Xinlu didn’t move. With his hand placed over Yuri’s hand that covered his face, he lay there still for a long time, as if he might fall asleep.

Yuri also just continued to look down at Ling Xinlu’s hand covering his own.

* * *

“……. This is wonderful. Truly.”

“Right? Even a layman or a blind man couldn’t fail to recognize this as top-grade silk, unless their nose was completely crooked.”

Ling Tangyun laughed heartily with a very satisfied expression and poured more liquor into Yuri’s glass. The pale yellow liquor sloshed in the thin glass.

Yuri waved his hand with a rare look of regret.

“No, I have to drive, so I can’t drink any more.”

“Ah, that’s right. Well, since I’ve already poured it, just have this last one.”

“……. Then, just this one.”

After hesitating for a moment, Yuri eventually nodded and picked up the glass.

Normally, he would have declined even that last glass, but the liquor was truly delicious. Even for Yuri, who didn’t usually enjoy alcohol, the liquor seemed to wrap around his tongue and soak in.

“This is only produced in the Henan region, and it’s a precious liquor that they can’t even brew a hundred jars of a year. What do you think? Isn’t it magnificent?”

“It is.”

While nodding and sipping a few times, the glass was soon empty, and Yuri looked into the empty glass with regret. Xiao Chun, noticing Yuri’s mood immediately, burst out laughing.

“Uncle Yuri, you don’t even like alcohol, but you seem to really like this one. You know, I’ll tell you something good. My dad set aside a bottle of this liquor specifically to give to you when you leave.”

“You brat! A gift is only tasty when it’s unexpected; what’s the point if you tell him in advance!”

Ling Tangyun frowned and scolded his daughter. Xiao Chun deliberately shrugged her shoulders, pretending to be scared. Beside them, Fei reached out, licked the last drop of liquor from his glass, and nodded.

“It certainly is delicious. But if you drink a lot of this, you’ll have quite a hangover.”

“Yes, that is the downside……. Moreover, it’s a ‘hot’ liquor, so people with a heat-prone constitution shouldn’t drink it.”

Ling Tangyun sighed as if it were a pity. Fei poured fresh liquor into his empty glass and sipped it slowly, tasting it.

“Are you planning to sell this?”

“Hmm…… it’ll need some adjustments, but yes.”

Seeing Ling Tangyun nod as he spoke, it seemed the ringa, which had established a foundation in liquor distribution, was planning to start handling this liquor.

As soon as those words were spoken, Fei made a distorted face and pretended to cry.

“Father, I’m going to die――. Even now, I’m crushed by work and worry about dying from overwork, spending every night trembling in fear of whether I’ll be able to open my eyes tomorrow morning――.”

“You brat, why are you exaggerating over just one more liquor coming in!”

“Father! I’ve been learning for months now; do I look like a fool who thinks work only increases by one task when a new deal is opened?! Oh, Father, you’re trying to turn your son, who hasn’t even married, into a bachelor ghost――.”

Fei, who had been shouting at the top of his lungs while hitting the floor, was eventually smacked hard on the back by Ling Tangyun. It wasn’t even a palm, but a fist, and a genuine ‘ugh’ sound of pain escaped him.

“Quiet. Even if you don’t act like you’re dying, this task won’t go to you.”

“Eh? Really?”

Fei, who had been twisting his body to rub his back, sat up quickly and laughed brightly, pouring more liquor as if it didn’t matter anymore.

“Yes. Not just this task, but your grandfather intends to gradually hand over the liquor side of things to Xinlu.”

Ling Tangyun murmured calmly but with weight. He spoke as if to let them know that this wasn’t a mere guess, but that such discussions were actually taking place.

Yuri, who had been rinsing his mouth with water, paused his movement.

“The liquor? Wow, he’s giving him a huge piece. There are going to be a lot of jealous people. No, but considering how much Grandfather dotes on the youngest uncle, should I say he’s only giving him that much?”

“But isn’t that side a bit difficult because there are so many complications? Uncle Xinlu hasn’t learned about business or management separately, has he?”

Xiao Chun seemed a bit worried, saying that he had originally intended to work at UNHRDO regardless of the ringa. Fei, who murmured, ‘True,’ seemed to feel the same. Ling Tangyun didn’t say anything for a while, savoring the aroma of the liquor before slowly wetting his lips.

I see. Indeed, he had heard rumors from a while ago that Ling Xinlu would eventually get involved in the family business. Although he was currently resting due to his poor health, he had reached an age where he could start his social life, and ring huolong wouldn’t just leave his precious youngest son alone.

“…….”

If that were the case, Ling Xinlu would soon become busy. To make up for the time he had spent resting—using his eyes as an excuse, though it wasn’t a complete excuse—he would have to work harder than Fei, who wailed every day about dying.

And liquor. ……He didn’t know whether to call it unexpected or not.

Even if it was just ‘liquor,’ if one looked at all the tasks associated with it as a whole, the scale would be considerable. As Fei said, it was a ‘huge piece.’ But at the same time, as Fei also mentioned, compared to how deeply ring huolong cherished Ling Xinlu, it felt surprisingly small.

However, after thinking for a moment, Yuri shook his head.

That wasn’t for him to worry about, and he couldn’t know what circumstances were hidden within. For instance, looking at the demeanor of the currently silent Ling Tangyun, it was clear he didn’t think it was ‘too small’ at all.

“But it seems Uncle is still a long way off. Quite a bit of time has already passed.”

“The youngest grandmother called him, so he went to visit her for the first time in a while. Do you think she’ll let him go that easily?”

Fei sipped his liquor, murmuring, ‘He’ll probably be there for a long time.’ Yuri shared the same thought, and Ling Xinlu himself had sighed and muttered, ‘I’ll probably be held up for a while again,’ as he left.

It was a few hours ago that Ling Xinlu’s mother had summoned him to the main house, claiming she had brought in a renowned healer. Unable to withstand the pressure of her repeated phone calls urging him to come quickly and absolutely, he had eventually been called to the main house late in the afternoon.

Ling Xinlu had gone to his mother, openly showing his annoyance, and in the meantime, Yuri had sat in the drawing room of the main building, saying he would wait, until he was dragged away by Fei, who had just returned home, saying, ‘Don’t just sit there alone, come play with me.’

But he never imagined that Xiao Chun and Ling Tangyun, who had returned home for their mother’s birthday, would end up ‘playing’ along as well. (The mother, whose birthday it actually was, was likely strolling through a department store at this moment, leisurely accompanied by her driver.)

“Well… if it’s Xinlu, he’ll do fine. Ever since he was young, he was the type to do at least the bare minimum regardless of what was entrusted to him.”

Just then, Ling Tangyun, who had been lost in thought while smelling the aroma of the liquor, set down his glass and spoke. It seemed he had been thinking about the tasks that would be assigned to Ling Xinlu until that moment.

“Besides, lately, many of the unstable sides he used to have have disappeared… He still has a side that makes people around him find him difficult to approach, but that could be seen as a good trait for a superior.”

Ling Tangyun nodded, muttering as if talking to himself. Then, he turned his gaze toward Yuri.

“In the past, it felt like he hid a blade even behind a smiling face, but he’s improved a lot lately. It’s thanks to your help, Yuri.”

“…. Ah, yes. Not at all. People naturally soften as time passes.”

Yuri, who had been drinking water, blinked and gave a short reply. He had no idea why it was thanks to him, but he wasn’t so young that he would stubbornly decline a compliment.

However, aside from the part about it being thanks to him, Ling Tangyun’s words weren’t wrong. Yuri also felt that Ling Xinlu had become much more stable and gentle. That said, it was far from saying he had become ‘kind’; he still frequently spoke sharp words and acted mischievously, but he was different from before. Yes, above all, his sense of stability was different.

For instance, it happened not long ago.

There was a time when Yuri called Kyle because he had business with him. Looking at the time, he didn’t think Kyle would be at the office, so he called his home. As soon as the bell rang once, there was a click as the call was answered.

And simultaneously.

『What on earth do you want! Do you want me to call the national anthem of our country?!』

A thunderous voice erupted, sounding as if it would burst his eardrums. It was a terrifying voice, enough to make him unconsciously tighten his grip on the receiver.

It was Jung Tae-ui. He had screamed so loudly that the voice leaked right out of the receiver.

Ling Xinlu, who had been sitting nearby flipping through a schedule, flinched, his shoulders shrugging slightly as he looked over. Yuri, who had instinctively turned his head, locked eyes with him. For a moment, Ling Xinlu seemed to frown slightly upon seeing Yuri, but he soon stood up with an indifferent face and pressed the speakerphone button.

Yuri didn’t even think to say anything about that bold attitude of eavesdropping on someone else’s call. Moreover, it was understandable why he did it—after all, the person on the other end was Jung Tae-ui.

Yuri shifted his attention from Ling Xinlu, who was now leaning against the wall right beside him, back to the phone.

‘I appreciate the offer, but I’ll listen to it next time. …It’s been a while, Mr. Jung Tae-ui. Have you been well?’

『…Uh. …Ah. Mr. Gable?』

After a short, awkward silence, Jung Tae-ui, having finally remembered who the owner of the voice was, called out to Yuri in bewilderment.

『Ah. Sorry. That guy kept calling me, so I turned off my phone, and then he started calling the house, so I thought it was him…』

Yuri didn’t bother asking who ‘that guy’ was, as Jung Tae-ui rambled on about how Rita had started glaring at him. He felt he already knew.

‘It seems Mr. Riegrow has gone out.’

『Yes, he’s been gone since the day before yesterday. He said he’d be back in about a week.』

‘I see. But constant calls… is something happening at your home?’

『Ah, absolutely not. This bastard plays with me whenever he’s bored, and that’s what’s happening now. He’s been calling dozens of times, asking if I’ve had breakfast and hanging up, asking what book I’m reading and hanging up, asking what beer I’m going to drink today and hanging up, and when he finally ran out of things to say, he started talking nonsense, telling me to just sing any song…』

Jung Tae-ui seemed to let out a curse, perhaps getting worked up while talking. And as if seizing that exact moment, the call-waiting tone began to beep. Someone else was calling.

From the flow of this conversation, Yuri could tell who the person ‘constantly calling’ was. He could hear Jung Tae-ui grinding his teeth. He must have been quite harassed. …But could a man who played such unbelievably childish pranks really be the same man he knew? Yuri doubted his own guess.

Even while they both remained silent, the call-waiting tone continued to ring, persistently.

『Ah… by the way, Mr. Gable, Kyle isn’t here right now.』

The tone of his voice, speaking belatedly, suggested he was about to hang up. He likely intended to end the call with Yuri and immediately scream at the person on the other line.

Yuri unconsciously glanced at Ling Xinlu. He locked eyes with him, who was watching with his arms crossed and an expressionless face. At that moment, Ling Xinlu narrowed his eyes slightly and glared at Yuri.

‘…, Yes. Then please tell Kyle that I called.’

Yuri said that and put down the receiver. Only after the click sounded beneath his slowly lowering hand did he look back at Ling Xinlu.

Ling Xinlu was staring at Yuri in silence. Or rather, it would be more accurate to say he was glaring with eyes that looked like they were hunting.

‘….’

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

Ling Xinlu spat out the words in a voice as chilly as his gaze. Yuri slowly shook his head.

‘I thought it might have been nice if you had said something.’

He had that look on his face—wondering whether to say something or not, whether to exchange a simple greeting or not, whether to call him ‘Tae-yi hyung’ or not.

At that, Ling Xinlu scowled fiercely and looked up.

‘Can’t you just not read my expression at times like this?’

He muttered in a distorted voice, then let out a hollow, mirthless laugh.

‘Besides, for some reason, I’m even more annoyed because of you right now. Why are you walking on eggshells around me?’

‘I’m sorry.’

When Yuri apologized without hesitation, Ling Xinlu glared even more harshly, as if he found it absurd.

‘Why are you apologizing there?!’

Shouting abruptly, Ling Xinlu turned his back and walked into his room. The door closed with a loud, rough thud.

Yuri stood blankly in front of the door, staring at it. While he was looking at the door with a prickly feeling that was hard to pinpoint, the door flew open again shortly after.

Seeing Yuri standing there, Ling Xinlu gave him a glance as if he had expected it, then strode into the living room and sat on the sofa. He picked up the book he had been reading earlier and flipped through the pages with rough gestures.

After flipping a page or two, he muttered abruptly without taking his eyes off the book.

‘I’m not angry.’

As if intentionally showing that he was no longer bound by the past, Ling Xinlu lifted only his eyes from the book. He gazed steadily at Yuri. Though his gaze seemed a bit sullenly sunken, the intensity had softened.

And in that moment, Yuri realized.

This man was far more stable than before.

He no longer fluctuated unstabley, soaring or sinking with extreme emotional swings like he used to. Within a certain boundary—a boundary where he could sufficiently control himself—he expressed anger, pain, and sadness.

…I see.

Yuri suddenly felt his heart lighten. I see. He’ll be okay now.

As that thought occurred to him, the tension left both his mind and his body.

Yuri pulled over a dining chair and sat down. However, upon seeing this, Ling Xinlu’s eyes sharpened again.

‘Why are you sitting there? Are you angry?’

At the sudden question, Yuri looked at him bewilderedly and shook his head, saying, ‘No.’

‘If you’re not angry, come sit here. Why are you sitting so far away, as if you hate sitting next to me?’

‘….’

While wondering if the man was actually angry despite saying he wasn’t, Yuri silently stood up and went to the sofa to sit beside him as indicated. Even when Ling Xinlu said, ‘Turn your back. Don’t look at me,’ as soon as Yuri sat down, it seemed he was indeed angry.

When Yuri obediently turned his back as told, a heavy weight soon settled against him. Ling Xinlu had leaned back, putting his full weight on Yuri as if he were a backrest cushion. He seemed to continue reading, as the sound of pages flipping was heard shortly after.

Then, at some point.

‘Don’t be angry. It’s scary when Mr. Gable gets angry.’

Far from being scared, the low, pouting voice muttered words that sounded as if he would start a fight immediately if Yuri actually got angry.

However, hearing that voice didn’t make him angry or upset; instead, it made him smile warmly, so Yuri quietly shook his head.

‘I’m not angry.’

A short silence followed the quiet, calm voice. After a moment, with the brief reply, ‘Then it’s fine,’ the body leaning against his back slowly relaxed. As if leaning back in comfort.

That weight, that body heat, felt as if it were saying ‘It’s okay,’ and Yuri felt as though everything really was fine.

“No, I’m serious. I was genuinely surprised and grateful that Xinlu seems to have become much calmer thanks to you. I’m probably not the only one. Actually, everyone close to us was surprised from the moment you said you’d bring him in and keep him by your side; didn’t you know?”

Ling Tangyun spoke in a subtle tone, smiling as if revealing a secret. But he likely didn’t think it was actually a secret, and Yuri already knew.

“No, I would have been surprised too.”

Yuri answered calmly and shook his head. Even if Ling Xinlu always treated people with a lovely, smiling face, he knew that on the other hand, he found people bothersome. Moreover, living in the same house without a necessary relationship like family would be a very rare occurrence.

But they wouldn’t have known there was a reason for it.

Yuri spoke nonchalantly.

“Originally, Mr. Ling Xinlu found me unpleasant. At first, he even got angry every time he saw me. He suggested a contract because he felt he needed to control those feelings himself. …Of course, that probably wasn’t the only reason.”

Since he had already fully revealed his inner thoughts, where his pride had been torn to shreds, he no longer had to struggle to hide or conceal them, and he was a capable person in his own right. The result of that was Yuri Gable, but he had never viewed it negatively.

“Haha, he must have just been joking. Xinlu is the kind of child who would never keep someone by his side if he truly disliked them. He’s the type who would rather kill them and get rid of them so he’d never have to see them for the rest of his life; you’re probably the first person he’s asked to stay by his side.”

Ling Tangyun laughed heartily. Yuri felt slightly awkward, but he soon said, “Is that so,” and fell silent.

Either way, it was fine.

Regardless of how it started, he knew that the current Ling Xinlu didn’t find him as irritating as before. No, as Ling Tangyun said, he was opening up more to him than to others.

Then that was enough. Even if he still occasionally felt a surge of irritation when looking at him, it was a fact that he was incomparably more stable than before. Stable enough for Ling Xinlu to manage his own heart.

So it was fine. He felt as though he had finished what he could do.

“Why are you badmouthing me when I’m not here, eldest brother?”

Just then, the sound of a dissatisfied click of the tongue was heard from beyond the sliding door.

Soon, the sliding door opened, and Ling Xinlu poked his head in with a frown.

“When did I ever try to kill and get rid of someone I disliked so I’d never see them again? To talk about such gruesome things behind my back, you’re too much.”

As he said this and entered, Ling Xinlu stood next to Yuri in the center of the room, where the conversation had momentarily ceased due to the sudden appearance of the subject of the discussion, although the talk hadn’t been seriously malicious.

Not sitting properly in a chair but perching on the armrest of the sofa, Ling Xinlu looked as if he didn’t intend to stay long.

“Did you drink? Why are you drinking water from a liquor glass?”

Ling Xinlu tilted his head, looking at the small glass Yuri was holding.

“I only had about two glasses. It shouldn’t affect my driving.”

“I don’t care about the driving since you can just have someone else do it, but I was just curious why you drank when you don’t even like alcohol. Did some good liquor come in?”

Ling Tangyun pushed a few of the bottles lined up on the table toward Ling Xinlu, who was scanning them.

“Take a few bottles while you’re at it. These are things our family is considering handling. Some will be distributed as they are, and some will be distributed after some adjustments.”

“Ah, yes.”

Ling Xinlu nodded obediently without any look of surprise.

It seemed the news that he would start participating in the family business wasn’t just a rumor circulating among the elders. At the very least, the word had reached Ling Xinlu himself in some way. Likely including the part about him handling the liquor side.

Yuri remained silent and helped pack the bottles Ling Tangyun had offered. Beside him, Fei quickly stood up and helped, saying, “I’ll help you, Uncle.”

While Yuri was packing the bottles, Ling Xinlu, who had been standing idly, shifted his gaze to look at Fei. A flicker of displeasure crossed his eyes, but he soon stepped away as if nothing were wrong.

“Let’s go, Mr. Gable. I’ll see you again later, eldest brother. Thanks for the help, Fei.”

Intercepting the greeting Yuri was about to give, Ling Xinlu snatched the bottles Yuri was carrying and left the room.

He slowly tasted the pale yellow liquor sip by sip.

Just as when he drank it at the main house, it was fragrant and faint. It was a taste that clung to the tongue, making one feel thirsty again even after swallowing.

He couldn’t remember how many glasses he had poured and drunk. Perhaps six or seven.

“You must have really liked that liquor. Is it tasty?”

Ling Xinlu, who had come out after changing his clothes, spoke with amusement upon seeing Yuri with the bottle in front of him. Watching him put a few drops of disposable eye drops into his eyes as if they were dry, Yuri asked belatedly.

“Come to think of it, how were your eyes?”

“Huh? Ah, that healer Mother called? A waste of money. They dug up some grass you can find in any field, crushed it, put it on my eyes, and chanted some spell I’ve never heard of in my life. I was speechless. Mother didn’t seem to know the ‘skilled healer’ would do something like that; her expression was priceless.”

“It’s exactly like they say, that people will clutch at straws when they’re desperate,” Ling Xinlu said nonchalantly. He didn’t seem that displeased. Rather, he seemed amused to have seen his mother, who had been bothering him every three days with mysterious medicines, talismans, and spells, look stunned.

Yuri nodded, saying, “I see.”

Like Ling Xinlu, Yuri hadn’t seriously expected his eyes to be dramatically cured by such folk remedies, but still, his heart sank a little.

“I think I’ll start learning the business in earnest starting next month. That’s probably why Mother is so anxious. She seems to think I won’t be able to work properly if my eyes are in this state, so the whole time we were together, she kept crying, ‘What about your work with your eyes like that?’ ‘What about your work with your eyes like that?’ I really…”

“I feel more exhausted than if I’d run a full marathon,” Ling Xinlu sighed and shook his head.

But work. It meant Ling Xinlu was stepping onto the same path that Fei had been complaining about lately, saying he was dying from the hardship of learning the business.

“….”

Yuri fell into thought. He felt it might be a bit difficult.

If that happened, he would need someone by his side to take care of him and help him thoroughly. Yuri had worked under Kyle long ago, so he wasn’t completely incapable, but he was weak when it came to business-related assistance. Someone like James would be perfect for that.

Should he suggest recruiting James? …But if he did, Kyle would probably bite his leg and try to eat him alive.

Yuri sighed inwardly.

Either way, it seemed better to suggest looking for someone else.

Now that Ling Xinlu had become mentally stable, there was no longer a need for Yuri, who was weak in business matters, to stay by his side.

Although there was still some time left in the contract, they could agree to an early termination, or since there wasn’t much time left anyway, Yuri figured he could manage to scrape by until then.

Yuri looked up at Ling Xinlu. Ling Xinlu, who had just tossed the eye-drop packaging into the trash and was about to sit on the sofa, felt the gaze and looked at Yuri. When their eyes met, he tilted his head and gave a bright smile. Yuri couldn’t help but smile back.

It was still a radiant and lovely smile. Pretty and adorable. There were moments when his expression vanished and it became so chilling that Yuri’s heart would turn cold, but usually, he was beyond beautiful.

And so, the thought of returning to Berlin—to the place where he originally belonged—made him feel a bit lonely.

“Is that liquor really that tasty? Half of that huge bottle is already gone.”

Ling Xinlu gestured with his chin toward the bottle Yuri had just picked up after emptying his glass. As Ling Tangyun had noted earlier, the bottle was indeed nearly half empty. It seemed to have almost no taste or aroma, but once it entered the mouth and seeped into the tongue, a faint, fragrant scent flowed down the throat. Fond of that ethereal and lingering mood, Yuri had been emptying glass after glass.

“Is it okay to drink that much all at once? You don’t even drink much… you must really like it. Here, give me some.”

Ling Xinlu lightly snatched the glass Yuri had just poured. He moistened his lips and remained silent for a moment, as if savoring the aroma. Another sip, and then another; having quickly emptied the glass, he handed it back to Yuri, saying, “Yeah. It’s good.”

“It tastes like the kind of thing that’ll give me a headache in the morning, but while I’m drinking it, it’s a taste I’m reluctant to let go of. …But since half is gone, I think you should stop. Isn’t the alcohol content surprisingly high?”

“It doesn’t really feel like it.”

Yuri tilted his head. Seeing as he didn’t feel particularly intoxicated even after half a bottle, it seemed light enough to drink casually.

Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu over the rim of his glass.

“I heard you might be put in charge of the liquor division.”

“Probably. Did big brother tell you?”

Suddenly, a subtle smile played on Ling Xinlu’s eyes. He asked slyly, his smile lingering.

“What did he say about me taking over that job?”

“Well… he didn’t say much, other than that you would do a great job, Ling Xinlu-ssi.”

“Is that so?” Ling Xinlu chuckled.

“Big brother probably wasn’t feeling very comfortable either. I heard the third and fourth brothers were making a huge fuss because Father gave away a bigger piece than expected. Then again, since Fei is already in charge of other things, the liquor division wouldn’t have been big brother’s share anyway, so maybe he didn’t get greedy.”

Yuri recalled the subtle expression on Ling Tangyun’s face from earlier. He didn’t seem particularly displeased, but he didn’t look entirely satisfied either.

“But compared to everything the ringa owns, the liquor division shouldn’t be that large a part,” Yuri spoke cautiously. While the liquor business involved a lot of money, he felt it wasn’t enough for the others to cause such a stir when considering the rest of the empire.

Ling Xinlu, who had stopped craving the liquor—perhaps because it wasn’t to his taste—and had brought out his own beer, raised an eyebrow for a moment upon hearing Yuri’s words, then laughed, “Aha.”

“That’s not it. It’s not just the liquor that’s being handed over.”

“You probably already know,” Ling Xinlu muttered as he popped open the beer can, continuing as he gulped down the drink.

“You know our family deals in many things that can’t be sold openly. And most of those things flow along with the liquor.”

Ling Xinlu playfully winked. He said, “It’s a secret, you know?” but if he was telling Yuri, then everyone who needed to know already did. That was why Ling Tangyun and his brothers didn’t take the matter lightly.

“Of course, it’s not like he’s giving it all at once. It’s about getting his hands wet and dipping his toes in the water. Then, if Father thinks this guy is overwhelmed, he’s the kind of person who can take it all back whenever he wants.”

“Though, of course, since I’m his pretty and precious son, he’ll give me enough to spend lavishly for the rest of my life,” Ling Xinlu added cheerfully.

Yuri said nothing as he watched him.

Things that flow along with liquor.

The things for which an ignore-able amount of money would change hands were undoubtedly a double-edged sword. Immense wealth, or immense calamity.

How to handle them depended entirely on Ling Xinlu. Whether it became a blessing or a curse, whether he could truly govern such a massive entity.

—He’ll do well. Since he was young, he’s always done above average with whatever he was entrusted with.

Yuri suddenly remembered the words Ling Tangyun had muttered. After being lost in thought for a while, he nodded, reaching that conclusion. It was likely a judgment made after careful consideration by a man who knew the weight of the work and the capacity of his brother. A conclusion his father, ring huolong, had likely reached after similar deliberation.

“By the way, that liquor is surprisingly strong. I didn’t notice while drinking, but now my stomach is getting hot. Are you okay?”

Ling Xinlu, who had been taking a few sips of beer, suddenly tilted his head and pointed to the bottle in Yuri’s hand. Lost in thought, Yuri only looked up after a moment, saying, “Eh?” Then, a moment later, he nodded. “Yes.”

“I’m fine.”

His stomach did feel a bit warm, but that was always the case when drinking alcohol; he didn’t think it was particularly strong or hot. At that, Ling Xinlu tilted his head as if it were strange, saying, “Really?” but then shrugged it off and went back to his beer.

“Still, I don’t think it’s good to drink that on an empty stomach… Hold on, I’ll bring something to eat with it.”

“Eh? No, it’s fine.”

“Forget it. It’s boring for me to just drink beer on an empty stomach too. …Let’s see, Gable-ssi likes greens, so maybe some vegetable salad with tofu on top.”

Ling Xinlu set the can down and stood up readily.

Watching his back as he headed to the kitchen, Yuri poured more liquor into his glass, which had emptied again in the meantime.

His life was flowing. Until a few years ago, he probably thought he would find his calling at unhrdo and wouldn’t have known he’d touch the family business—even if he had considered the possibility, he probably thought he wouldn’t. And now, he was about to enter a new path prepared for him.

Come to think of it, his own life had progressed similarly.

He hadn’t known he’d enter T&R, hadn’t known he’d enter the intelligence agency, hadn’t known he’d return to T&R, and hadn’t known he’d eventually be in this spot.

“….”

Is everyone like that? I guess everyone is.

No one knows anything. What lies right in front of them.

Yuri gazed blankly at Ling Xinlu’s back.

Right, how could he have known a year ago that he would be spending time with such a lovely person? Just as he didn’t know where he would be a year from now.

If there was one thing for certain, it was that he would taste peace in the water until the day he died. That was the only certain part of his life, and for that, he liked it.

He wished Ling Xinlu could have something certain too.

Something that would be unmistakable, even amidst an unknown future.

Yuri prayed silently. Perhaps because of the alcohol, his eyelids were becoming warm and heavy.

—Gable-ssi. …Gable-ssi?

It felt like someone was calling his name.

It took a long time for him to realize that the very familiar name was his own. But even after he knew it was his name, Yuri didn’t answer. Rather than being unable to answer, he didn’t feel like it. He felt as if his name were in another world far beyond, having nothing to do with him.

—Good grief… I told you to stop after half, and you’ve emptied the whole bottle already? …Gable-ssi? Gable-ssi? Hey, Yuri Gable? …Are you awake, or just pretending to be?

That low, humming voice sounded like it was coming from another world, yes, exactly like it was echoing from beyond the clouds.

And he was on this side of the clouds. No, he was inside the clouds. Clouds raining over a tropical sea.

It was hot. Perhaps because he was inside a cloud, he felt hot, as if wrapped in sweltering steam. Soon, it became so stifling that it was hard to breathe, and his respiration quickened.

It wasn’t a bad feeling. But it was hot, stifling, and difficult.

Yes, it was difficult. A feeling of anxiety and stiffness hung over him like a heavy weight, making his body sink heavily. But more suffocating than that was the heat.

He was hot from the pit of his stomach. It felt as if he had swallowed a ball of fire. It was hot. He could feel sweat seeping from the nape of his neck.

Yuri sighed. “Hot, hot,” he whispered in short bursts, the words mixing with his hot breath.

—That’s why I told you that liquor was strong. This is what happens when you don’t listen and gulp it down by the bottle. Just hang in there. It’ll cool down eventually.

He heard the sound of clicking a tongue from beyond the clouds. He didn’t know when “eventually” would come, but right now, it was sweltering. He groaned softly, frowning. Beads of sweat broke out on his back, his body, and his face.

—Sigh… Are you that hot? …Wait here.

The voice clicked its tongue and disappeared somewhere.

As the suffocating heat wrapped around his body again, Yuri groaned and rolled over. His cheek touching the floor felt cool, giving him a brief moment of relief, but soon even the floor warmed up. He turned his body the other way and pressed his cheek against the cool floor again. He pressed his hands, arms, and stomach to the floor. All he could do was roll around whenever the floor became hot.

—What a sight, what a sight… Are you grilling yourself like a squid? Lie flat.

The voice returned. With an incredulous laugh, the voice approached and crouched down right next to Yuri. Turning Yuri, who was pressed against the floor, the voice began unbuttoning his shirt from the top.

As his skin was exposed, the air touched him. The hot and stifling sensation seemed to loosen just a little. Yes, he should have just taken off his clothes sooner.

But that was only temporary; the air couldn’t cool his hot body.

That was when it happened.

A startlingly cold sensation was placed on his face. He flinched instinctively and curled up, but Yuri managed to relax his groaning body slightly.

The cold wet towel covering his face felt like a lifeline.

Ah, so cool… I love it…

As he murmured with trembling lips, he thought he heard a laugh.

—You’re grateful, right? Of course you are. I’ve always been the one served, never the one serving. You should be thankful.

The voice spoke with an arrogant tone, as if granting a generous favor, yet it didn’t lose its tenderness. Lifting the towel from his face, the voice began to wipe his feverish body.

From the neck to the chest, then the stomach. Wherever the wet towel passed, the water wetting the skin evaporated, bringing coolness. It felt as if his thirst was being quenched.

Ah… I love it… More… Here too. Here too.

His body, which felt cool when the towel passed but became hot again shortly after, shifted slightly to bring itself closer to the towel. The voice wiping his body let out a hollow laugh.

—You’re treating me like a servant. Yes, yes. I shall serve you.

The voice, muttering playfully, continued to wipe Yuri’s body without showing any sign of annoyance. Whenever the towel became too lukewarm, the voice would disappear again and return with a chilled towel.

Eventually, the suffocating heat began to fade from his body. It was still humid and hot, but it was much better than before.

He felt a languid sense of relaxation. His body loosened and slumped. He felt as if he could pleasantly sink into the ground.

—Do you like it?

Yes, I do.

—You still look very hot. But I guess it’s a bit better than before…

Suddenly, the voice seemed to mutter to itself. Something cool and soft touched his cheek. It was the back of a hand.

As if gauging the temperature, the voice placed the back of its hand on Yuri’s cheek, muttered, “Still hot,” and stroked his cheek with the back of the hand.

That cool body temperature felt familiar and comforting for some reason.

So Yuri turned his head and rubbed his other cheek against the back of that hand. A pleasant breath escaped him naturally.

—….

Suddenly, the voice seemed to hesitate for a moment. The back of the hand stopped moving. But regardless, Yuri rubbed his hot cheek against the back of the hand. The back of the hand soon became lukewarm, but the soft feeling was still pleasant.

—Do you like it?

For some reason, the voice seemed to have dropped a bit. It sounded a bit softer, yet also as if he were slightly frowning.

But he didn’t remove his hand. Instead, he quietly moved his hand to rub Yuri’s cheek and forehead. Like a gentle caress.

It felt good. Languid. Comfortable. Although a humid heat still lingered inside his body, even that heat turned into a pleasant euphoria that wrapped around him.

—Gable-ssi. …You’re hard right now.

Suddenly, the voice muttered as if it were absurd. The sound of clicking a tongue was mixed in.

Hard. Even though he heard it, his hazy mind couldn’t understand what it meant. He only felt his breath quicken as the humid, pleasant heat covering his body intensified.

—How can you get hard this quickly just because I stroked your cheek and wiped your body… Good grief. Is that liquor some kind of weird drug…?

Tsk, the voice clicked its tongue. For a while, the voice was silent. As if considering what to do, or as if staring intently.

Yuri, feeling good from the hand cupping his cheek, breathed languidly and buried his nose in that hand. It smelled good. A familiar scent. So he softly kissed the palm. Along with a pleasant breath.

For a moment, the hand flinched. But the hand didn’t disappear; it remained in place. That short, subtle hesitation.

It soon turned into a low voice approaching him. The voice, close to his ear, whispered.

—I told you before. I hate putting in effort to serve others.

When was that? He felt like someone had said that. The feeling he had then came back vividly, and Yuri suddenly laughed pleasantly. For a moment, the gaze seemed to fixate on the corners of his smiling mouth.

—But thinking about it, I’ve received so many things from you, Gable-ssi, that I did think I should do something for you too.

He had heard those words as well. Whether it was when or who it was, the memory was just out of reach.

He tried to recall for a moment, but soon, in this pleasant sensation, everything became unimportant, and as he stopped thinking, a faintly roughened voice echoed low in his ear.

—So, consider yourself lucky.

He couldn’t tell where the dream ended and where reality began.

At some point, there was a sweat-drenched face before his eyes.

It was clearly a familiar face, yet he couldn’t recognize it for a while. It was because the expression was so unfamiliar. He looked like someone he had never seen before.

‘….’

‘Are you awake?’

‘….’

‘No?’

Yuri looked at him with half-open, blurry eyes, thinking with a foggy mind, Who is this again? Realizing that Yuri hadn’t fully regained consciousness, the man silently leaned down and sucked on Yuri’s lips. He sucked on the lips relentlessly, as if devouring something coveted to fill a hungry stomach, and then pulled away for a moment, looking down at Yuri with that same unfamiliar face.

It was a beautiful face.

When he was in a good mood, it was a sweet face, like a lovely kitten purring. Yuri knew that when that face wore a smile, it was as radiant as the sun.

However, the face before him, though still that beautiful and radiant face, lacked the soft sweetness of a cat. He had grown into a sleek young leopard, looking down with the eyes of a predator.

What… he wasn’t a cat…

With a slightly dazed thought, he wondered then who that cat had been.

That was…

‘Do you like it?’

Suddenly, a whispering voice.

Only after hearing those words did Yuri become conscious of the fierce pleasure surging relentlessly from below.

A firm, bunched volume was stabbing into Yuri’s genitals. Since when had that hot mass of flesh been there, stabbing the root, the shaft, and the tip of his member while rubbing vigorously? And since when had he been letting out short, shallow, meaningless sounds like moans, lost in a feverish, soaking pleasure?

Between the two members, hardened to the point of pain, a liquid—already mixed together so that it was impossible to tell whose was whose—flowed with a wet sound.

‘Can’t… even speak? Well, I’m… the same.’

Short fragments of words formed a sentence. A drop of sweat, trembling at the tip of his nose as he exhaled a pleasantly rough breath, finally fell. The sweat that seeped onto the lips tasted sweet.

‘Do you like it that much? Mr. Gable, you’ve been out of it for a while now…’

The low, whispering voice was husky. His breath, heated as if he were out of breath, bit into Yuri’s lips again. It was impossible to tell whose breath had already become so rough and hot.

It felt good.

His hazy mind recognized pleasure as nothing but pleasure.

There was no room left in his head to recognize anything beyond that—shame, reason, embarrassment, or things of that sort. Only the pleasure of racing breathlessly below.

‘—!’

His breath hitched. At the sensation of his insides tightening, his vision momentarily blurred white. The sensation of pleasure exploding, that intense and vivid ecstasy. A sense of liberation, as if something bound had been released.

Amidst all that, he didn’t even realize his body was trembling intermittently. And by the time those tremors subsided, though he didn’t know how much time had passed, his consciousness faded once more.

‘Are you asleep? …Are you really asleep? —I know I said I’d provide “dedicated service,” but don’t you think this is a bit much?’

The sensation of something still hard and stiffly swollen stabbing into him mixed with the sound of a bewildered, hollow laugh.

The hand that had been tightly clutching his back for a while seemed to loosen. The hand, stroking down beneath his back, stopped at his buttocks.

‘…Are you just going to keep sleeping like that? It would be better to wake up soon.’

If you wake up now and tell me to stop, I’ll stop… but you might not actually want that, the whispering voice nibbled on his earlobe.

His shoulders hunched. A low voice escaped him involuntarily.

It was a sensation both familiar and strange.

It was similar to the feeling he had when he had slept with someone long ago. Yet, at the same time, it was a strange sensation, far removed from any feeling he had ever experienced.

He felt a grip tighten around his groin.

One hand grasped both Yuri’s member, which had gone limp after releasing its pleasure, and the other member, which remained stiff, pooled with unreleased desire. The hand, which began to move slowly, gradually accelerated.

Soon, as if chased by that sensation, a hot and moist feeling erupted over the desire that had begun to swell again. Lust pouring stickily over his lower abdomen.

‘…—.’

The movement stopped for a moment.

It sounded as if a beast were growling.

And for a while, as if everything had come to a standstill, the world stopped moving.

Eventually.

‘What, is it trying to stand up again?’

Exhaling a languid and pleasant breath, he laughed. Yuri’s member, which had been swept up along with his own desire, was regaining strength, and he tapped the tip of it with his fingertip. His own member, which bumped against it as it swayed weakly, maintained its volume without wilting at all, despite having just released.

‘Now that I look at you, Mr. Gable, you’re incredibly erotic. Your body, your expression… how have you been managing such an erotic body all this time? It must have been hard.’

The floating, flickering voice was soaked in a faint excitement. He moved his hand down and stroked Yuri’s half-erect member. He slowly felt not only the member but also the lower abdomen and the groin below.

The hand, which had been moistly rubbing the lower half of his body, drenched in both their releases, moved slowly downward. Downward.

At some point, he stopped speaking. Only the rough sound of breath excited by arousal could be heard. Every now and then, greedy lips touched him, sucking on Yuri’s lips.

‘…—, —.’

At some point, Yuri’s eyebrows twitched. A crease formed between his brows.

He felt a strange sense of incongruity.

The hand that had been rubbing down between his legs pushed further down, further inside, and eventually reached the place that had been holding its breath in the center.

The hand seemed to linger for a moment, but it did not hesitate for long.

Into his body.

Accompanied by an uncomfortable sense of incongruity he had never felt before, it pushed into his body.

His body leaped up instinctively. His body, flinching reflexively, tightened around the finger digging inside.

‘—!’

The member pressed against Yuri’s groin twitched. A low sound, like a click of the tongue, was heard like a moan.

Soon, the touch that had been pushing into his body softly, as if stroking, grew a bit rougher. As if his patience were running out, he gathered the semen that had been wetting the groin like a lubricant and pushed it inside, while two, three more fingers entered, spreading the interior.

It became difficult to breathe.

Ah, ah, haa, ah—short, shallow breaths scattered.

It wasn’t painful. However, a strange and stiff incongruity surged up, and his body froze. But at the same time.

The touch that had been rubbing and scratching inside his body suddenly sparked a flame.

‘—!!’

It was a very small spark, but it clearly touched something inside. His body leaped and recoiled involuntarily.

The touch stopped for a moment. He felt a gaze staring intently.

‘…Ah, right. So it’s around here…?’

A low, growling voice.

Soon.

‘…—! —!! …—!’

A scream erupted. No, it was impossible to tell if it was a scream or a moan. Whether it was surprise, pleasure, or fear.

At the stimulation repeatedly hitting one spot inside his body, his vision flashed white in a frenzy. He didn’t know how his body was twisting, what sounds he was letting out, or how his face was contorting.

The gaze that had been staring at Yuri as if to devour him without leaving him for a second finally seemed unable to bear it and bit into the nape of Yuri’s neck. Not just the nape, but his shoulders, earlobes, and chest—he bit and sucked everywhere, leaving marks.

‘Do you like it? Do you like it that much? —Yes, as much as you want.’

The low, hoarse, excited voice whispered like a rough sigh.

Before long, the hand that had been wetting, opening, and lifting inside Yuri’s body vacated the spot. However, even after the hand disappeared, a fierce heat pushed in and took its place, filling the pulsing spot that had remained tightly stretched by the foreign sensation.

He couldn’t breathe.

At the sensation of something pushing in as if it would burst his tight interior, he didn’t know what was what and simply hugged whatever was in front of him. Hugging the sweat-soaked body that filled his arms frantically, Yuri began to be chased by a flame-like sensation that started pushing a terrifying exhilaration into his body.

And after that—his mind went white.

“…….”

For a while, Yuri didn’t even realize he had opened his eyes. Slowly blinking, blink, blink, staring blankly at the ceiling, he didn’t even know he was seeing something; he just blinked like an automaton with a mind that was white and empty.

He regained consciousness because a change occurred within those unperceived sensations. The sound of water that had been coming from the bathroom since some unknown time stopped.

And only then, as the thought ‘the sound of water stopped’ floated above his consciousness, his thoughts revived one by one.

“…….”

For a moment, he thought he wanted to lose consciousness again.

As soon as his thoughts began to function, he became aware of his body, which was aching in every joint yet so limp he couldn’t move a finger; he recognized his situation, sprawled in the middle of the living room where clothes and liquor bottles were scattered messily; and then, his memories returned.

Not all memories remained intact.

First, there were vague memories like a dream, then a period that had vanished white and was completely forgotten, and then the consciousness that had continued from the moment he opened his eyes until now.

Yes, it seemed several hours had passed since he opened his eyes. He only realized this now.

After losing consciousness and waking up without knowing when, the first thing he recognized was the sky beginning to brighten dimly beyond the full-length glass window of the living room. Perhaps, since it was the time he would usually go swimming, his body had habitually woken up.

And the next thing he recognized was Ling Xinlu, lying diagonally atop his own body, which was sprawled like an overturned frog.

‘Are you awake? …Are you conscious this time? …Still not?’

Seeing him say that, it seemed he had asked that question several times. Come to think of it, he felt as if he had faintly heard those words in his distant memories.

He was slowly swaying his hips. And in sync with that movement, Yuri also swayed while lying down. It was because their lower halves were still connected.

While he stared at him with a blank mind, wondering if he was still dreaming or if this was reality, Ling Xinlu’s face, which had been looking down at Yuri, seemed to distort for a moment. Along with that, the movement of pushing up and swaying their lower halves stopped.

In his lower half, where sensation had almost dulled away, he soon felt a moist sensation flowing down along the cleft of his buttocks.

Not just his buttocks, but down to his lower waist and back, the area beneath his body was completely drenched.

Could it be that they had continued even while he was unconscious?

While he wondered no way with a blank mind, the member buried deep between his legs slid out. As the member that had been plugging him was removed, the semen that had filled the inside poured out, soaking the area beneath his buttocks once again.

‘—…’

His body shuddered reflexively.

‘Are you awake? …Are you awake this time? …Oh dear. You’re not conscious?’

Ling Xinlu, muttering quietly, clicked his tongue lowly. Licking his own eyelids, he then licked his lips. He was like a cat. He was sure there had been a leopard here a moment ago, but it seemed the cat had returned.

‘Get some sleep. Though you’ll probably close your eyes again even if I don’t tell you to. …I’m starting to get tired now, so I should rest for a bit.’

I guess my stamina is depleted quickly because it’s been a while, Ling Xinlu muttered and lay on his side next to Yuri.

Stamina depletion… what was that again… somehow it feels different from the meaning I know… Yuri thought with his hazy mind.

Ling Xinlu, who said he was tired, didn’t seem likely to fall asleep, however. Though he looked languid, he propped his head up and looked down at Yuri while lying on his side. With one hand, he slowly stroked Yuri’s body.

—I think something strange happened.

Yuri tried to mutter that, still staring blankly at the ceiling.

But no words came out. His lips seemed to flutter slightly, but only air leaked from his parched, hoarse throat.

‘…….’

Yuri gave up and closed his mouth.

Ling Xinlu, looking down at Yuri, tilted his head.

‘What was that?’

‘…….’

‘Did it feel good?’

Hearing this, he felt as if he might get a little angry.

‘Mr. Gable really came a lot of times yesterday. …Your stamina is really great. You kept clinging to me while sobbing, so I kept going without resting too.’

He didn’t mind, per se. But this wasn’t something he wanted to hear from this man.

Yuri closed his eyes. A voice asking Are you going to sleep? echoed quietly like a monologue.

Even after Yuri closed his eyes, he continued to stroke Yuri’s body, exactly like someone petting a cat. Then, occasionally, he would stroke his head, and sometimes his buttocks. Occasionally, he would fiddle with the limp, sagging member.

With a feeling of whatever happens, happens—actually, with a feeling that his thoughts weren’t functioning properly because he was still dazed—he stayed still, but he never imagined. He never imagined that Ling Xinlu, who seemed to be lying and resting for a while, would push his hips between Yuri’s legs again.

It was his first experience of his consciousness flying away while his eyes were open.

“…….”

Beside Yuri, who was sprawled in a state of mind where he couldn’t move a single finger, Ling Xinlu soon walked out of the bathroom where the sound of water had stopped.

If Yuri’s memories, though fragmented, were correct, Ling Xinlu, who hadn’t slept a wink all night, had just finished showering and come out with a clean face, looking like someone who had slept soundly.

“…….”

“…….”

Ling Xinlu, while drying his hair with a towel, looked down blankly at Yuri, who was staring at him vacantly. Then, he casually walked toward the kitchen.

“……, …—l.”

He barely managed to open his mouth, but the words caught in his throat and didn’t come out properly. However, the sound that leaked out like a breeze seemed to have reached his ears somehow.

Ling Xinlu, who was walking toward the kitchen, paused. Then, widening his eyes slightly, he looked back at Yuri.

“Are you awake? …Are you really awake this time?”

The addition, spoken with a hint of doubt, revealed that he had already repeated that question several times. And while Yuri, who had likely shown no reaction while hearing that question with his eyes open each time, now shifted his pupils to look at him.

Ah, he’s awake, Ling Xinlu muttered as if surprised, started to turn back, paused, and then turned back toward the kitchen. He then poured a glass of lukewarm water and strode back.

“Here. You were looking for water, right?”

He was.

Yuri slowly swallowed the water that Ling Xinlu helped him sit up to drink. He spilled more than half, but wetting his lips and throat with a few sips seemed to bring him back to his senses.

“Are you feeling a bit better? Yesterday, you kept waking up and then fainting, unable to pull yourself together, feeling so much that it was almost like a state of shock, so I was a bit worried.”

“…….”

He wanted to ask Me? but said nothing. He was exhausted to death. Both body and mind.

Yuri shifted his gaze to the clock. It was already morning, the time when people would be moving actively, and the sound of cars was continuously passing by below the mansion.

No matter how he thought about it, it was certain that he had stayed up all night, yet Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu suspiciously, as he looked unbelievably fine.

Did he really sleep with this man? He was unsure in many ways.

“……, …….”

But more than anything, this situation was incomprehensible.

Though there were gaps, he didn’t lack memories. He couldn’t say now that he didn’t know why he was like this or what had happened between him and the other man. He even vaguely remembered why such a thing had happened.

But.

The reason his mind was most confused in a situation where he had committed an act while drunk and woke up in the same bed was.

Because he didn’t know the future direction of things.

After suddenly entering an unexpected relationship, Yuri had no idea what face to show the other person, what to say, or how they should get along from now on. He had never been in such a position before.

“Do you not remember well? After a person put in so much heart and soul to provide dedicated service.”

Then, Ling Xinlu, who was crouching in front of Yuri and looking at him, spoke. Yuri blinked. Ling Xinlu sighed without much expression, saying Hmm, and shook his wet hair with his hand.

“I didn’t expect to end up like this with Mr. Gable either, but somehow it happened. I don’t sleep with people even if they say they like me if I’m not in the mood. …I really worked hard to provide dedicated service.”

As he said the last part, a hint of playfulness mixed into his smiling face. Staring blankly at that face, Yuri muttered, “…Yes, you did.”

His confused state of mind seemed to clear a bit. The reason the awkward feeling about this confusing situation suddenly subsided was that Ling Xinlu’s attitude was completely unchanged from before last night.

As if there were no need to think about how to handle this situation or how to face each other in the first place, Ling Xinlu was speaking as if an unexpected, light, and trivial accident had occurred.

I see. …Well, that makes sense.

Neither this man nor himself were children who would make a fuss about what would happen to their relationship, nor were they the type of personalities to do so. Well, given this man’s personality, he might intentionally commit an act and then insist on taking responsibility depending on the situation, but in any case, this wasn’t that kind of situation. Hadn’t he said it?

Dedicated service.

“…….”

To feel as though one’s sexual encounter was a form of community service—it was, for some reason, a rather subtle feeling. One thing was certain: it wasn’t exactly a pleasant sensation.

Seeing Yuri sitting blankly, staring down at his own knees, Ling Xinlu’s smile momentarily faded from his face.

“Are you angry?”

Yuri looked at him, who was watching with a serious expression, and shook his head. When he answered “No” quietly but clearly, the relief returned to Xinlu’s face, which had been clouded by a faint anxiety.

Why would he be angry? It wasn’t forced, and though his memories were hazy, Yuri knew for certain that he had ‘liked’ it. He could still feel a tingling pleasure clinging to his lower body; he had no intention of claiming now that he hadn’t enjoyed it. He wasn’t angry. It was just that his mood was… subtly ambiguous, in a way that was hard to put into words.

“……Did it feel good?”

Another question flew in, this time the opposite of the previous one. His eyes, brimming with a smile, held that lovely, cat-like glint as always.

Yuri hesitated for a moment before nodding silently. It had felt like being swept away in a whirlwind, so he couldn’t remember the exact feeling at the time, but it had been good. In fact, among the various encounters he’d had in his life—though he hadn’t exactly had a tumultuous romantic history—it was the most dizzying experience. To the point where he wondered if this was his natural inclination.

As Yuri nodded silently, Ling Xinlu beamed.

“It was okay for me, too. Actually, it was quite good. Enough to make me think it was worth putting in the effort to serve you once in a while.”

With a satisfied face like a well-fed cat, he frowned slightly for a moment and muttered, almost to himself, “Yesterday happened because of the circumstances, so I can’t say this will happen again next time.” However, as he said those words, he looked back at Yuri and gave him a pretty smile.

“But if you feel like it next time, well.”

He left the sentence there. Then, using the towel he had been using to dry his wet hair, he gently wiped Yuri’s face, where tears and saliva had dried into sticky streaks.

If you feel like it next time—he didn’t say the rest, but the following words were easy to guess.

—I’ll do it for you. —I’ll serve you.

“…….”

Yuri gazed blankly at Ling Xinlu before dropping his gaze. While passively letting his face be wiped by the gentle touch of the towel, he thought, No, I don’t really want to…

It wasn’t to the point where he felt the need to explicitly refuse, but he wasn’t particularly keen on it either. Even though the memories of last night certainly weren’t bad—a faint, sweet throbbing still remained inside his body—he felt that way.

He figured it was probably because he wasn’t feeling great right now.

Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu with a heart as sunken as his limp body. When their eyes met, Xinlu tilted his head and smiled, looking no different than usual.

At any rate, one thing was a relief. He could just treat him as he always had, without having to feel bewildered by the man who remained so consistent.

* * *

Blub. ……Blub.

Lying in the water, as he slowly exhaled one breath, then another, round air bubbles danced upward, sparkling. The bubbles swelled larger as they neared the surface, eventually meeting the air with a pop. All that remained were the gently swaying ripples.

He loved those trivial things.

Yuri watched the dancing air bubbles as he exhaled the air from his lungs bit by bit. Only after exhaling the very last breath remaining in his chest and watching that bubble reach the surface did he slowly float upward.

……Ah. I want to go to the ocean.

During the cold seasons when he was trapped in an indoor pool, he always longed desperately for the sea. For that heavy, cool water that tasted salty if a drop or two seeped past his lips.

From winter to spring, he couldn’t enter the ocean unless he flew off to a distant southern sea. In winter, the weather outside the water was too cold; in spring, the water temperature was even colder than in winter.

That was why, toward the end of spring, unable to bear the longing, he would sometimes fly off to the South Pacific. When he was tied down by work and couldn’t even do that, he would occasionally dissolve salt in water and drink it. (Seeing this, James had once handed him the business card of a famous psychiatrist with a very grave expression.)

‘I wonder if there’s anyone living on a tropical island with beautiful coral reefs who would hire me……?’

At some point, while staring blankly at the contract during his renewal with T&R, Yuri had sighed and muttered this. James had looked at him with a deadpan expression and replied coldly.

‘Who knows. The world is full of people who want to secretly know things others don’t, so it wouldn’t be strange if one of them were a wealthy person with a private island in the South Pacific. Whether that person would hire you, and even if they did, whether they would actually let their employee lounge around and swim leisurely on their island, is a separate matter.’

‘James. Life must be quite hard for you lately, seeing as you enjoy tormenting others.’

‘You’re the one talking nonsense! Stop talking and just sign the contract!’

James had been shouting because Kyle was currently throwing a fit, screaming that he’d been scammed at a used rare book auction—he was raving that he didn’t care about the money already paid, but they had to give him the book he’d won. The wise Yuri signed without a word, and James completed the annual contract renewal by stamping it.

‘If such a person ever appears as an employer, I’d appreciate it if you introduced me. For someone like that, I’d even sign a lifelong contract.’

‘You’d be faster if you found a one-of-a-kind rare book from somewhere and asked Kyle to trade it for an island.’

At James’s chilly response, Yuri had nodded deeply, saying, “I see.”

However, nothing like that happened afterward—there was no way Yuri, a layman, could find a book that even Kyle, a collector like no other, couldn’t find—and so Yuri longed for the sea every spring.

Even now.

The cold season was passing, but he still had to wait a bit longer before he could enter the ocean. But more than anything, he was currently bound by his contract and couldn’t move as he pleased.

“…….”

Following the bubbles rising blub-blub, Yuri surfaced and took a deep breath. Huuu. Ultimately a creature that had to live on land, he steadied his breathing in the air.

Still, even if it was just an indoor pool, he felt better. When he felt depressed, the best thing was to stop talking about luxuries like tropical seas and just submerge himself in the nearest indoor pool.

“That’s impressive, 2 minutes and 30 seconds.”

As Yuri brushed away the water clinging to his eyelashes and seeping into his eyes, he heard a voice speaking in admiration. When he brushed back the hair clinging to his forehead, he saw Ling Xinlu sitting on the pool edge, leisurely kicking his legs in the water.

“How long can you hold your breath underwater?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve managed a bit over 3 minutes, but I don’t know about beyond that. I don’t stay underwater while timing myself every time.”

But it would probably be difficult to go beyond that, Yuri added, though Ling Xinlu didn’t seem to be listening as he arched an eyebrow. “3 minutes.”

“That’s amazing. For me, if I can’t breathe for even a minute, everything goes black. I could never endure 3 minutes. ……I wonder how long it was back then.”

Yuri looked at him curiously as Xinlu drifted his gaze into the air, as if retracing a memory from long ago. Noticing Yuri’s gaze, Ling Xinlu shrugged nonchalantly.

“I think I mentioned it before. I almost drowned in the ocean once.”

“……. Ah, yes…….”

Yuri shifted his gaze away naturally. If he had prepared himself, he could maintain a consistent poker face in almost any situation, but Yuri was weak when it came to improvising against such unexpected strikes.

“I was swept away by the current and couldn’t control my body. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, and I was terrified because I wanted to live, ……And yet, my consciousness remained for quite a while, so I suffered, though I don’t know how much actual time passed.”

As Ling Xinlu muttered that it felt like tens of minutes, Yuri only said to himself, You can endure 3 minutes too.

“But, ……didn’t you say someone saved you then? Didn’t you say they were beside you as you were losing consciousness?”

When Yuri asked tentatively after a brief silence, Ling Xinlu nodded, saying, “Ah, that’s right.” However, as he nodded, a crease formed between his brows, as if he were recalling an unpleasant memory.

“In that case, didn’t it make you feel a bit less anxious, knowing that even if you lost consciousness, you wouldn’t die?”

“I didn’t feel like I was going to die. Like Mr. Gable said, I felt like I’d survive even if I fainted. But.”

A flash of unpleasantness, mixed with anger, seeped into Ling Xinlu’s eyes.

“Do you know how unpleasant it is to have someone right next to you, just watching and waiting for you to lose consciousness while you’re flailing in the water?”

“……I have no intention of taking sides, but to make an excuse for that person, when saving someone from drowning, you have to approach very carefully unless you have complete confidence and certainty. Even a small child, if they cling with all their might in the terror of death, can easily drag down a strong man like a water ghost.”

Yuri was subtly defending his past self while pretending to be neutral, but Ling Xinlu’s tone was cold as he cut him off. “I know that.”

“The problem was something else. Do you know how that person looked at me then? They looked at me, struggling in agony as I lost consciousness, with eyes that looked completely vacant. Even as my consciousness faded, that was the one thing I saw clearly. I could forget everything else, but I could never forget those eyes.”

Ling Xinlu let out a cold snort. Yuri kept his mouth shut and drifted his gaze anywhere else.

For some reason, he felt the blood draining from his face. To think that Xinlu remembered him from that time so vividly.

“To look so ecstatically at a child struggling in pain—that guy was the worst kind of sadistic pervert. Who knows? He might be the type to get pleasure from strangling people to death.”

“…….”

He desperately wanted to defend himself and say that wasn’t the case, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. So, avoiding eye contact, Yuri only muttered in a barely audible voice, “Is that so…….”

Ling Xinlu glared into the void with a bleak expression, as if his anger had flared up again. His gaze was terrifying, as if the ‘guy’ from the past were hanging there in the air.

“Since then, I’ve hated it. Those gazes that look at me blankly because they like me.”

“…….”

He truly had nothing to say. To think he had planted some kind of trauma in him without even knowing it; he had no excuse.

The thought he had harbored—that he was, at the very least, his savior—shattered into pieces.

“It’s no wonder I grew to hate entering the water. More than the fact that I almost drowned, I hated it because the memory of that moment made me shudder.”

Even the fact that he had been distanced from this peaceful and cozy water was because of him. Yuri lost his words and turned away. Suddenly, Ling Xinlu gave him a fresh look, his anger hidden.

“Still, thanks to Mr. Gable, I’ve started swimming again, so it worked out well. Thank you.”

Ling Xinlu expressed his gratitude to Yuri with a bright, smiling gaze. Only Yuri knew that his answer, “No, it was nothing……,” was not an act of modesty.

He thought it was a very heavy topic. Ling Xinlu was speaking lightly about events from the distant past, but Yuri felt a heaviness around his chest. Thus, he turned away from him and dipped his body back into the water.

After a short silence, fortunately, Ling Xinlu seemed to have thought of something else and looked at Yuri intently.

“By the way, is swimming okay for you? Looking at you since a while ago, you seem to be moving much less than usual.”

Hearing him add, You should have rested for another day, Yuri thought that this topic wasn’t particularly comfortable either.

It had been a few days since he last entered the pool. Four or five days, perhaps. Despite being in an environment where water was always nearby, it felt like the first time he’d been unable to enter for several days. Though he had spent a long time soaking in the bathtub.

He couldn’t enter even if he wanted to. No matter how cozy he always felt in water, this time he half-seriously thought he might drown if he entered in that state.

He had never imagined that having relations with a man would be such a physical burden. When his body first went limp, he thought it was normal, but he couldn’t move even after a nap. No, after waking up from a nap, his body felt even more languidly stretched. He even ran a fever due to unfamiliar muscle pain.

He had been completely knocked out for nearly a day and a half, and couldn’t leave the house for another day after that. After that, he was reasonably able to move, but lacking confidence in whether he could control his body comfortably in the water, he had gloomily splashed around only in the bathtub.

‘Mr. Gable, you’re surprisingly frail. You’re knocked out like this after doing that just a bit?’

When Ling Xinlu had muttered in surprise that it was unexpected for someone who exercises every day, Yuri—who had always watched over Ling Xinlu with a calm and gentle heart—for the first time had a violent thought: If you find it surprising, it might be surprisingly refreshing to hit this man a couple of times.

However, the anger that had surged momentarily vanished like melting snow.

He wasn’t the type of person to harbor negative and intense emotions like anger for long, and despite his teasing words, Ling Xinlu had taken care of Yuri very attentively.

‘Really, what are we going to do if you’re bedridden to this extent?’

The words he muttered while clicking his tongue could be seen as mean if one wanted to, but the way he occasionally checked Yuri’s reaction as if feeling sorry while speaking like that was, in its own way, very typical of this man.

‘I think it would be stranger if I were fine after doing that.’

When Yuri replied, feeling a bit wronged even while lying limp in bed, Ling Xinlu frowned with a strange expression.

‘Doesn’t everyone do at least this much?’

‘…….’

According to Yuri’s common sense, they did not. A light round or two, and maybe another one or two if they were more passionate. At least, that was the case for Yuri. He had never discussed such things in detail with others, but seeing as the few women he had dated hadn’t said anything particular, he had assumed other people’s situations were similar.

From twilight until dawn… that seemed a bit much…

Come to think of it, he recalled Ling Xinlu mentioning once that when he first did it, he spent about ten hours testing various things to learn the knack of it. Of course, he assumed he hadn’t spent an entire night purely with his body and that there was some exaggeration due to youthful bravado, but perhaps it wasn’t an exaggeration.

‘Everyone does at least this much.’

When Yuri didn’t answer, looking suspicious, Ling Xinlu stated it firmly, as if instructing him.

Yuri, who was about to say that wasn’t true, hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was right to deny it so firmly when he hadn’t personally witnessed how other people spent their nights. Thinking that while it seemed unlikely, it might not be entirely wrong, his confidence as a man shrank a bit. He became depressed.

Added to that depression, Yuri had been completely wiped out, but regardless, Ling Xinlu had taken care of him with unexpected detail. Because he felt like Xinlu was the type who couldn’t do such things, Yuri had said with surprise, ‘You’re good at taking care of people,’ to which Ling Xinlu had replied nonchalantly, ‘Other people always take care of me like this. So, even if I’ve never done it myself, I knew it in my head. Putting what I know into practice is no big deal,’ which made Yuri shut his mouth.

Ling Xinlu, who was full of surprises in many ways, would use an unexpected strength—surprising given his delicate appearance—to easily lift Yuri and wash him, or use an unexpectedly skilled hand—surprising for someone who claimed to have never done it—to make food that was easy to digest.

Yuri, who had quietly entrusted his body to the other’s hands and eaten whatever he prepared, had only one regret: every time he murmured that he wanted to go to the pool, Ling Xinlu had ignored him, asking, “In that condition?”

“…….”

Truly without hesitation. As if it were nothing.

Ling Xinlu treated Yuri as if nothing had happened.

Yuri gazed blankly at Ling Xinlu as he dove under the water and resurfaced.

In a way, it was a relief.

If his attitude had changed because something had happened, Yuri might have found it quite awkward to decide how to respond. Though it was somewhat ridiculous for someone in their mid-thirties—or forty, if one were to round up, as some might say—to be flustered for several days over a minor accident.

“Still, it’s a relief that you don’t seem to be in any great distress. I was watching you closely just in case your physical condition didn’t hold up and you fell in, so I could save you.”

Ling Xinlu laughed playfully. Yuri, finding it quite strange that the idea of “falling in” was being directed at him, couldn’t help but laugh as well.

Suddenly, Ling Xinlu’s gaze seemed to linger on the corners of Yuri’s mouth. Ling Xinlu looked back at the puzzled Yuri with an indifferent expression and tilted his head, saying, “It’s just fascinating.”

“Mr. Gable, you love the water so much that you’re always submerged—have you never had any dangerous experiences? You’d think you would have almost drowned at least once.”

“No…… I don’t think so. ……I haven’t.”

Yuri searched his memories for a moment before shaking his head. When he was very young, there were a few times when his parents or others had panicked and tried to pull him out because he had been submerged for too long. However, as far as he could remember, there had been no real danger caused by the water.

“I think I’ve always felt at peace.”

When Yuri spoke after checking his memories once more, Ling Xinlu smiled with a slight grimace.

“Mr. Gable, I bet you’ve been told you’re strange quite a few times.”

“Not particularly.”

Yuri shook his head.

There weren’t many people who knew him in such intimate detail. There are plenty of people in the world who exercise every day, so the fact that he went swimming daily didn’t sound strange.

Ling Xinlu, who had climbed back onto the rail after exiting the water and was looking down at Yuri with amusement, suddenly leaned back. He plunged backward into the water with a splash, flipped over, and surged up in front of Yuri. Then, he slowly moved toward the edge of the pool. The time they usually left the pool was approaching. Yuri checked his watch and followed.

“I think I was envious of you. Maybe that’s why you seemed more hateful to me.”

Ling Xinlu, swimming slowly with his head above water, spoke abruptly. Yuri, following behind him, looked at him in confusion.

Without looking back at Yuri, as if lost in thought, Ling Xinlu spoke in a calm tone.

“I told you before. That when I’m submerged in water, heavy thoughts melt away like salt.”

Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu. After a moment, he nodded. He remembered saying that.

For Yuri, at least, those words were a fact. In the past, and even now.

Right now, being submerged in the water like this, the heavy and suffocating feeling that had been lodged in his chest seemed to have lightened slightly. Unfortunately, however, looking at this man seemed to make that weight slowly return and accumulate once more.

“When I heard those words, I was incredibly envious. To the point where something surged up in my chest. Suddenly, and hotly.”

“Was it jealousy?” Ling Xinlu asked with a mischievous smile, and Yuri recalled the time he had heard those words.

It was a time when he had been struggling. Perhaps the most painful and frustrated period of his life so far.

To his ears, as he squirmed in place with nowhere to run and no way to solve his problems, how enviable Yuri’s words must have sounded.

“I mean, I knew I wasn’t like that. Even if Mr. Gable’s weight melts in the water, mine doesn’t. If anything, it just gets heavier, like cotton.”

Everyone has a different way of shedding the weight that accumulates in their heart; just as Yuri found peace by submerging himself in water, others would find peace in their own way. And yet.

“But from then on, even though I knew I wasn’t like that, I became envious. Of the water.”

Reaching the edge of the pool, Ling Xinlu gripped the wall and turned around. Yuri, who had slowly approached behind him, also stopped. With a splash, Ling Xinlu scooped up some water with his palm, watched the stream trickle down, and let out a light sigh.

“As expected, it doesn’t particularly provide emotional comfort for me; it’s just that I feel refreshed from the exercise, but still…… it’s fine. ……The human heart is shallow, so I craved it desperately when things were hard, but perhaps because I’m not that miserable anymore, I don’t feel that envious anymore.”

“……. It is a good thing that you are not struggling.”

“I suppose so. Lately, there hasn’t been anything that felt particularly difficult, and my mood has been quite good.”

“Has something good happened?”

Yuri asked, his eyes curving softly. Since he was almost always by his side, there was no way he wouldn’t know if something good had happened, but regardless, he felt relieved that Ling Xinlu’s mind seemed to have stabilized.

Ling Xinlu murmured, “Something good.” He rubbed his chin and looked away for a moment, as if only then considering a topic he hadn’t consciously thought about, then shrugged his shoulders.

“Well…… there’s nothing in particular. My eyes are the same, there’s nothing particularly interesting happening, my daily routine is the same, the people I meet are always the same……. I wonder why I feel so good.”

“Now that I think about it, I do,” Ling Xinlu said, tilting his head. Yuri looked at him and smiled calmly, thinking, That’s good.

“As time passes, perhaps the hardships have worn away.”

When Yuri spoke, Ling Xinlu didn’t seem entirely convinced, but since no other answer came to mind, he nodded and said, “Maybe so.” Then, as if a sudden thought occurred to him, he looked at Yuri with smiling eyes.

“Mr. Gable, have you ever struggled with heartache because you liked someone? Or perhaps a memory of a first love. ……You seem so composed that I can’t really imagine it.”

As Ling Xinlu let out a low laugh, as if the mere imagination of it was strange and funny, a memory suddenly surfaced for Yuri at the mention of “first love.” That memory, which he recalled unconsciously and which flustered even him, was the memory of seeing the first person he couldn’t tear his eyes away from. ……The flower that bloomed in the water on that day, which remained a nightmare in Ling Xinlu’s memory.

In that moment, a sudden, bewildering realization washed over him.

Could his first love have been that boy? The one who was now looking at him with a strange expression, seeing his bewildered silence.

Yuri gazed blankly at Ling Xinlu. Ling Xinlu, likewise, was staring back with a face where the smile was slowly fading, watching Yuri, who had been blinking for a while without answering the light question.

“I have one. A first love. ……Since it was a one-sided experience where I simply lost myself and was captivated, there aren’t any memories of struggling because of it.”

Yuri spoke slowly and clearly. As he said this, he thought to himself, Ah, I suppose that really was my first love. A memory that had never been forgotten and would occasionally surface unexpectedly. A face he had recognized instantly upon meeting again after a long time.

I see, that was it, Yuri thought, finally accepting it, while Ling Xinlu watched him in silence. He had a very peculiar expression, as if he had heard something completely unexpected.

Eventually, he opened his mouth, which had been silent for a while, and murmured, “I see.” Then he remained silent for a long time again.

Then, at some point, Ling Xinlu beamed. He seemed to have concluded that, thinking about it, it had nothing to do with him. Smiling more brightly than usual, he playfully stretched out his foot to poke at Yuri’s.

“With a face that looks like you wouldn’t, you’ve gone through all the stages one must experience in life. ……What kind of person were they? Were they prettier than me?”

“……Similar.”

“Similar? Prettier to a degree similar to me?”

“Yes, ……they looked like you.”

He felt as if he were subtly lying. Come to think of it, it wasn’t a lie, yet it felt like one.

But no matter what, he couldn’t possibly say, My first love was you, losing consciousness as you sank into the sea, and I was so entranced by the sight that I couldn’t save you quickly enough.

In front of Yuri, who was thinking with a heavy heart, Ling Xinlu, who had been muttering suspiciously, “They look like me?” suddenly fell silent. His expressionless face stared intently at Yuri.

“Is the fact that you like me also because I resemble that first love?”

The slight smile on his lips had cooled subtly. The eyes looking at Yuri were cold.

Yuri blinked as he looked back at him. It was because he found it difficult to answer for a moment after hearing words he hadn’t expected—words he hadn’t even had the chance to consider.

“……I don’t think so. Probably.”

Although he added “probably” at the end, Yuri’s quiet voice was firm. He had never thought of liking someone because they resembled someone else. Resemble—there was no one who resembled another enough in face, personality, gestures, and manner of speaking to like them for that reason.

The gaze Ling Xinlu held toward Yuri seemed to soften slightly. However, with a face where the smile had faded much more than before, he turned away and said, “Let’s head out.”

Did he get upset? Yuri followed silently, watching his back, but after walking a few steps, Ling Xinlu turned back and asked, “Your body is fine for moving now, right?” with a smiling face that had already returned to normal.

* * *

With a blink, Yuri woke up and stared at the dark ceiling for a moment before getting up and going to the bathroom.

He could tell by instinct, without even looking at the clock, that it hadn’t even been early dawn yet, as only a few hours had passed since he fell asleep.

After coming out of the bathroom, he looked at Ling Xinlu’s door for a moment, then walked toward it out of habit and listened at the door. There was no sign of movement inside. He seemed to be sleeping well. Indeed, it had been a long time since Ling Xinlu had been able to sleep well at night without medication.

Yuri quietly stepped back. Instead of going to his room, he sat on the living room sofa, as he felt that sleep wouldn’t come easily now that the drowsiness had worn off. Seeing a half-finished glass of water on the table, he picked it up and moistened his lips. Perhaps he had been thirsty without realizing it, as he emptied the remaining half-glass of water.

“…….”

Exhaling a light breath, Yuri rubbed his heavy temples.

He had a dream.

It wasn’t a bad dream. But it couldn’t be called a good dream either. It was a dream that would be difficult to tell others, one that made him blush.

Yuri looked down and stared blankly at his groin. His lower half, having just come from the bathroom, was quietly subsided, but until just a moment ago, it had been standing, subtly lifting the fabric.

……As if he were some naive child.

Yuri clicked his tongue and tapped his lower half with his fingertip. The deflated member remained quietly still even when tapped.

He felt it was problematic.

Whether this was what people vulgarly called “blooming,” he felt he had become significantly more sensitive lately. He wondered if his nerves had become on edge without him realizing it, but even after thinking about it for a while, he didn’t feel sharper than usual in his daily life.

Just occasionally. Sometimes, through trivial contact, his sensitized nerves would prick up like a snail’s retracted tentacles.

‘……Ah……. I like it.’

Just now, simply recalling the voice that lingered in his ear made his hand flinch and contract involuntarily.

The part he felt had become particularly sensitive was this: touch.

Ling Xinlu—though he had always been that way—often touched Yuri without hesitation. It wasn’t anything extreme. He would casually pat his back or put an arm around his shoulder while talking, or rest his ankle on Yuri’s thigh while reading a book—and then focus on the book as if he weren’t conscious of it at all. It was so ordinary and trivial that Yuri felt it was strange for him to be conscious of it.

It had only been one night. ……Though it had been somewhat long and persistent.

“…….”

Yuri let out a long breath. Feeling his throat grow drier, he stood up and went to the kitchen. He brought the water bottle back and filled the glass to the brim.

It was the same today.

As usual, when evening came, Ling Xinlu lay down with his head on Yuri’s thigh, saying his eyes were tired. And Yuri, as he always did, covered his eyes with a warm towel and began to rub them.

A warm towel. Rising steam. A pleasantly flowing breath.

Amidst these things, Yuri, who had been slightly tense because he had been feeling his own sensitivity lately, slowly relaxed his shoulders. His heart seemed to settle along with it.

However, the brief moment of calm was useless; his shoulders tensed up again at Ling Xinlu’s languidly murmured monologue.

“Ah, it feels good,” Ling Xinlu murmured, exhaling a contented breath, and suddenly grasped Yuri’s hand that was rubbing his eyes. Yuri stopped his movements involuntarily at the touch that wrapped around the back of his hand.

‘I think it’s coming from here, after all.’

Murmuring words of unknown meaning, Ling Xinlu pulled down the hand covering his eyes slightly and pressed his nose against Yuri’s palm. After a moment, he murmured, ‘I was right.’

‘There’s a scent. Very faint……. It’s not soap…… and it doesn’t seem to be a natural body scent either. What is this smell……’

Whispering that it was a scent he felt he had smelled somewhere before, Ling Xinlu lightly rubbed his nose against Yuri’s hand.

The nose, the lips brushing against the skin, the languid breath—these things tickled his palm. Yuri flinched involuntarily. Although it wasn’t overtly obvious, there was no way Ling Xinlu wouldn’t notice the very slight contraction of the hand.

He seemed to open his eyes beneath the towel. Still burying his nose in the slightly flinching hand, he suddenly smiled. He wore a beautiful, bold smile, as if letting Yuri know that he had noticed.

“My, my,” Ling Xinlu seemed to murmur, smiling as if he were slightly troubled, and then he raised his other hand to remove the towel from his eyes. The black eyes beneath were looking up at Yuri.

Ling Xinlu gazed up at Yuri, who was staring back, unable to avoid his gaze like someone caught committing a crime, and laughed softly.

As if saying, Really, I can’t help it.

‘When I said there’s a scent, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.’

‘……A scent?’

‘Yes. It’s a familiar scent, like I’ve smelled it somewhere before…… but I can’t remember. So it’s bothering me a bit. Where was it……’

Ling Xinlu pressed his nose even closer to Yuri’s hand this time. Again, a chuckle-filled breath touched Yuri’s hand as it flinched unconsciously.

‘Is it ticklish?’

Knowing full well that it wasn’t because it was ticklish, he asked, pretending not to know. Every time he whispered, his lips almost touched the palm, tickling it, and each time, Yuri struggled to divert his attention from his contracting hand.

It seemed he was smiling as if to say, I can’t help it.

Ling Xinlu reached out. And he gently cupped Yuri’s cheek as if stroking it. He slowly stroked Yuri, who was looking down at him without even blinking. The cheek, the nape of the neck. Then he smiled as if he were being truly generous.

‘…….’

He had often felt this man’s arrogant generosity lately.

Whether it was draping an arm over Yuri’s shoulder and rambling about ordinary things, or fidgeting with the foot he had casually placed on Yuri’s thigh while reading, whenever Yuri maintained a subtle, silent stillness, Ling Xinlu would soon notice and give a generous smile, followed by a kinder and more intimate touch.

Every time that happened, what Yuri felt was closer to a sense of being flustered. A feeling of not knowing how to respond.

But what was clear was that such arrogant generosity was not unpleasant, and that the touch felt good.

“…….”

Does it even matter?

Sipping the water as if it were wine, Yuri let out a sigh.

There was no reason to push the touch away. They weren’t in a relationship deep enough to warrant playing hard to get, and besides, Yuri didn’t have the personality for such things in the first place.

Adapting to the given situation—provided it wasn’t wrong or unpleasant—was Yuri’s way.

Though he had now reached the point of having embarrassing dreams, he nodded to himself, thinking that this was fine as it was.

It was then.

The door to the master bedroom opened without a sound.

Lost in thought, Yuri only realized a few seconds later that Ling Xinlu had stepped out of the room and was standing there, staring blankly in his direction.

“……Ah.”

As Yuri acknowledged him with a short, meaningless murmur, the man, who had been standing in silence, frowned slightly and asked.

“Why aren’t you sleeping? It’s still too early to go swimming. ……Can’t you sleep?”

Speaking with a husky voice and eyes only half-open, he seemed still intoxicated by sleep. It appeared that even rubbing his eyelids couldn’t shake off the drowsiness.

“I’ll sleep soon. Please go back in.”

Yuri answered quietly as the man spoke in a sleep-laden voice, and he gazed steadily at the person who had been occupying his thoughts all this time. Seeing that even his disheveled face—blinking half-closed eyes and a frowning expression—looked lovely, Yuri thought that there was simply no way to handle his own feelings.

Ling Xinlu continued to look at Yuri with that same sleep-induced frown.

“What’s wrong, is it because you can’t sleep? Then come here. I’ll sleep with you.”

Muttering with generous indifference despite his drowsiness, Ling Xinlu beckoned Yuri to come over and then yawned as he stepped back into the room. And Yuri—who had already been wide awake, but now felt the last remnants of sleep vanish completely—just blinked, sitting primly where he was.

As he tilted his head in bewilderment, a voice mixed with sleep-induced whining soon drifted from the room: “What are you doing? Why aren’t you coming?” Only then did Yuri blink a few times and follow him into the room.

Ling Xinlu’s bedroom, which Yuri had entered numerous times and was well-acquainted with, contained nothing but a large bed, a nightstand, and a small lamp. Saying he hated anything that got in the way while sleeping, he had cleared everything out, leaving only the bare essentials.

On the large bed that filled the silence of the spacious room, Ling Xinlu lay face down, buried in the blankets.

“…….”

As if he had fallen asleep in the meantime, he didn’t move an inch, his eyes closed. The only thing moving was his back, rising and falling in a slow, regular rhythm.

Just as Yuri, who had been looking down at him for a moment, considered quietly slipping out, Ling Xinlu lifted an eyelid as if annoyed, then closed it again and muttered.

“What are you doing, why aren’t you lying down? Hurry up and sleep. You’re already someone who doesn’t sleep much.”

“…….”

When Yuri continued to hesitate for a few seconds, the eyelid lifted once more. This time, the sleepy pupils beneath flashed with irritation, and Yuri obediently crawled into the bed.

Ling Xinlu was sprawled out in the center of the bed, but because the bed was so large, Yuri was able to lie diagonally, maintaining a decent distance from him.

Lying like a tilted log, Yuri shifted only his eyes to glance at Ling Xinlu. Recalling that the man had once said he couldn’t sleep with others because they got in the way, Yuri thought he must have been truly intoxicated by sleep. Thinking it would be best to lie here for a bit and then leave quietly before he woke up, Yuri looked up at the ceiling.

The light from the living room leaked through a sliver of the open door. Aside from that single streak of light, the room was pitch black. Beside him, the sound of regular, comfortable breathing drifted quietly.

Amidst these things, Yuri’s mind slowly relaxed.

He didn’t feel like sleep was coming, but perhaps because the tension had left his body, he felt a bit languid.

Then.

“Why are you waking up in the middle of sleep? Do you feel unwell?”

A voice, mumbling like low sleep-talking, approached from beside him.

Yuri paused for a moment before turning his head. Ling Xinlu, who still had his eyes closed, lifted a sleepy eyelid once and then closed it again.

Yuri couldn’t tell if it was truly sleep-talking or if he was in a half-awake state. He might have been conscious but half-lost to drowsiness.

“No. I just woke up because of a dream.”

Fearing he might disturb the nearly sleeping man, Yuri whispered in a voice that was barely audible. As if hearing it in a dream, Ling Xinlu gave a slight nod with his eyes still closed, letting out a soft “Mm.”

“What dream.”

The moment that sleep-laden, mumbling voice reached him, Yuri shut his mouth. His mind cooled instantly.

The words would not come out—that it was a dream that vividly reproduced the things they had experienced together throughout the night recently, though many parts were not clearly remembered.

As Yuri remained silent, after a long pause, Ling Xinlu’s heavy eyelids blinked once. With a low sigh, he tossed and turned with his eyes closed. Reaching out with an arm that had been sprawled across the bed, he pulled Yuri toward him. Then, he rested his arm across Yuri’s waist.

“…….”

The weight of the arm pulled close and resting on his waist felt incredibly heavy. So much so that Yuri’s breath hitched for a moment.

Without opening his eyes, Ling Xinlu kept Yuri tucked under his arm as if embracing him, mumbling languidly in that same sleep-talking voice.

“Did you have a dream about a ghost……? Just sleep…….”

“Since it won’t come out anymore……,” the mumbling voice trailed off.

Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu’s face, which was barely a hand’s span away. In his current state, unable to move a muscle, he had no choice but to gaze at the face right in front of him.

It felt as if all his senses were concentrating on the arm resting languidly on his waist. The warm body heat seemed to be transferring over.

“…….”

“It would have been better if it were a ghost dream……,” Yuri murmured under his breath, tracing the man’s features with his eyes.

The long eyelashes, the smooth bridge of the nose, the full lips—not a single thing was not beautiful. Perhaps these thoughts were due to the rose-tinted glasses of affection, but Yuri found himself unable to take his eyes off him, just as he had when he saw him as a child. Seeing that it was a beautiful face with straight, fine lines yet didn’t feel feminine at all, he thought that personality does indeed manifest in the face to some extent.

“Then what kind of dream was it…….”

Then, the lips he had been staring at, thinking the man was asleep, suddenly moved. A short phrase popped out abruptly.

It seemed he had heard the murmur, which was even quieter than talking to oneself. Come to think of it, his hearing seemed to become even more acute while sleeping.

Ling Xinlu, who still had more than half of himself stepped into the dream world, perhaps trying to comfort Yuri who must have had a bad dream, slid the hand resting on his waist and slowly patted his back. Tap, tap.

“Was it a good dream……? That’s why you can’t sleep……?”

To the silently muted Yuri, Ling Xinlu mumbled slowly and then let out a small chuckle. “Maybe he saw his first love……,” he murmured.

“…….”

The hand patting his back grew sparse, as if his consciousness were sinking deeper back into the dream. Yuri watched Ling Xinlu, who was sleeping with a peaceful face and steady breath, holding his own breath.

He was a beautiful cat—capricious, private, and occasionally showing a twisted streak of spite. (Though he felt more like a leopard wearing a cat’s skin.)

He couldn’t be called a good person. It was hard to say he had a kind heart or was a righteous man. He was someone who bestowed kindness as he pleased and cast people aside cruelly as he pleased.

And yet, the tenderness he occasionally showed like this was incredibly lovely. The weight of the warm hand on his back, and the capricious offer to sleep together if he couldn’t sleep.

So, Yuri slowly let out a deep, comfortable breath. He didn’t think sleep would come, but he felt that closing his eyes for a while like this would feel very pleasant.

But then.

Suddenly, the languid warmth seemed to vanish from Ling Xinlu’s peacefully sleeping face. His eyelids snapped open, and the drowsiness disappeared from his eyes in an instant.

“……?”

Yuri, who had been about to close his eyes, also widened his eyes at the sudden change.

As if he had been doused with cold water while sleeping soundly, Ling Xinlu—who had been wandering through dreams, mumbling a word here and there—now stared intently at Yuri with a face that was wide awake.

“Is it true?”

Yuri couldn’t understand the words Ling Xinlu suddenly spoke after staring at him for a long time with a cold face devoid of any laughter. No, he understood the words themselves, but he didn’t know what he was asking.

“Pardon?”

When a bewildered Yuri asked again with a slight frown, Ling Xinlu lifted his head to look down at him.

“Did you dream of that person?”

Again, Yuri couldn’t immediately grasp what Ling Xinlu was asking as he pressed for an answer. He didn’t know who ‘that person’ was.

Blinking as he faced Ling Xinlu in confusion, Yuri slowly traced back through the conversation in his memory. And only after a few seconds did he realize. The dream of the first love.

“…….”

From Yuri’s gaze, which only looked back without answering, Ling Xinlu seemed to read the answer. His lips suddenly twitched.

Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu—who had suddenly bolted upright, asking if he’d dreamed of his first love—with the feeling of encountering someone who wakes up in the middle of the night to sleep-talk, “Should I add a few spoons of salt?”

After staring intently at the puzzled Yuri for a while, Ling Xinlu tilted his head slightly to glare into the air, then, perhaps concluding there was no reason for him to press further, he flopped his head back onto the bed. And he closed his eyes as if to sleep again.

There was a crease between his brows. Ling Xinlu, who remained with his eyes closed as if forcing himself to sleep, opened them again at some point, perhaps sensing Yuri’s gaze watching him.

“……. What kind of dream was it.”

“When you first met? When you dated? Or did they just appear in the dream?” Faced with questions asked as if it were nothing, Yuri instinctively averted his gaze for a very brief moment. At the question of what kind of dream it was, the memory that naturally flashed through his mind was of the man before him appearing in a manner so explicit it was unsettling.

Seeing Yuri avoid his gaze for a moment with an awkward expression, Ling Xinlu erased the expression from his face again. A vein seemed to throb slightly on his forehead.

“I think I had a dream that’s awkward to tell others.”

“…….”

Instead of answering, Yuri turned his gaze to stare at the empty, dark ceiling. At that, Ling Xinlu’s tone became more displeased.

“Then why haven’t you been looking at my face properly for a while now?”

“…….”

“Are you perhaps ignoring me?”

“……. I was thinking about the dream.”

Eventually feeling the limit of pushing through with silence, Yuri clicked his tongue inwardly and answered honestly. Ling Xinlu frowned slightly.

“You said it was a dream where you spent a pleasant time with your first love, so why does looking at my face make you think……, …….”

Muttering in confusion, he stopped mid-sentence.

Having remained silent for a while as if some thought had occurred to him, he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before speaking suspiciously.

“Because we look alike?”

To say they looked alike was a bit of a stretch, but having nothing else appropriate to say, Yuri gave a barely perceptible nod.

And silence fell.

For a while, no one said anything. No one even moved.

Only the intensity of the piercing gaze was clearly felt.

At some point, Ling Xinlu bolted upright.

He leaped out of bed, turned on the light, flung the door open, and walked out. Loud footsteps receded toward the kitchen.

The sound of the refrigerator door opening and closing, the sound of pouring water, and the sound of gulping down water followed faintly. Finally, the sound of an empty cup being slammed roughly onto the dining table.

The footsteps approached again with large strides. With the momentum of having flung the door open when he left, Ling Xinlu entered the room, slamming the half-closed door open.

Entering while rubbing his mouth haphazardly with his fist as if he had just downed cold water, Ling Xinlu stood firmly in front of the bed and looked down at Yuri with cold eyes.

To Yuri, who was sitting on the bed looking up at him, bewildered by this sudden sequence of events, he called out in a low, sunken voice, “Mr. Gable.”

When Yuri answered obediently, “Yes,” the man stared at him with fierce eyes for a moment before speaking softly.

“I was debating whether to say this or not, but I’m saying it because I feel this isn’t right. I think it’s a bit impolite to think of someone else while looking at another person’s face. I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that.”

Ling Xinlu spoke slowly, emphasizing every single word.

Yuri, who was sitting on the bed in his habitually straight posture, looked at him in bewilderment but soon nodded readily.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

Yuri couldn’t exactly understand why Ling Xinlu was complaining, but hearing it put that way, it seemed plausible, so he apologized quietly. Indeed, it wouldn’t be pleasant if the other person were listening half-heartedly while thinking of something else during a conversation. Especially since Ling Xinlu had a strong pride and a personality that couldn’t overlook being ignored, he must have felt that way and become upset.

As Yuri looked down, feeling a bit gloomy yet maintaining his usual indifferent expression, Ling Xinlu, who had been looking down at him fiercely, suddenly let out a displeased sigh and scratched his head vigorously.

“Forget it. Let’s just sleep.”

Muttering bleakly, “Though I’m wide awake now,” Ling Xinlu turned off the light and lay back down in bed. Yuri, watching him lie down while still radiating displeasure, quietly got off the bed and greeted him, “Yes, then please sleep comfortably.” However, the moment he said “sleep comfortably,” Ling Xinlu clicked his tongue in irritation, sat up, and abruptly pulled Yuri’s arm to pull him down.

“Just sleep! I’m starting to get annoyed.”

Having said that in a voice that was already thoroughly irritated, Ling Xinlu only lay back down after hearing Yuri answer, “……Yes.”

Silence returned.

In an ominous stillness far from peaceful and comfortable quiet, Yuri, lying as still as a log, let out a long, silent breath.

It seemed sleep wouldn’t come. It looked like he would have to stay awake all night. He thought it might be better to go out and read a book, but he felt that if he so much as tossed and turned here, that irritated voice would fly at him again.

When will this man fall asleep? But he’s a light sleeper, so it’ll be hard to get up without him noticing. While he was counting the patterns on the ceiling with those thoughts, it happened.

“Do you look that much alike?”

Suddenly, a low voice popped out from beside him. He seemed not to want to show it, but a hint of sulkiness leaked through.

“……, Well, just……, yes.”

Thinking that no matter what answer he gave, the man wouldn’t be particularly pleased, Yuri glossed over it. In truth, he wasn’t very keen on answering.

Even though he couldn’t definitively call it a lie, he felt as if he were deceiving him—perhaps it was the guilt of choosing to remain silent instead of explaining the painful memories of the beach that remained as a trauma for the man. Living with the mindset that if it isn’t absolutely necessary, it’s better to stay silent than to lie, Yuri’s heart felt heavy.

He felt a presence glancing toward him from the side. A gaze landed on his profile.

“I don’t really like hearing that I look like someone.”

“Though I’ve never heard such a thing,” Ling Xinlu said, his displeased mood apparently not yet faded. He continued, expressing his discomfort more explicitly.

“And I hate it when someone else is told they look like me.”

Yuri nodded. He felt that this man would be like that.

“I also hate it when people think we’re similar just because the ‘feel’ of our faces is similar, or because we’re of the same race.”

He nodded again.

Ling Xinlu remained silent for a moment, looking at Yuri, then let out a displeased sigh.

“That person must be different from me. Whether it’s personality or behavior.”

Yuri couldn’t answer this quickly. Seeing Yuri hesitate, Ling Xinlu arched an eyebrow.

“Are you similar?”

“……Just.”

Once again, he gives an ambiguous answer. The thought that it might have been better to just lie only occurs to him after the words have already left his mouth.

Ling Xinlu falls silent. A cool gaze fixes steadily on Yuri. Facing a look that seems to drop in temperature by the second, Yuri wears a troubled expression. At some point, the corners of Xinlu’s mouth twitch.

“Then, is this similar too?”

The moment he finishes speaking, Ling Xinlu grabs Yuri’s chin and pulls him in.

Hot breath crashes over him as if to devour his lips.

Soon, a soft tongue pushes in relentlessly, ransacking the inside of his mouth.

“…―.”

A short, murmured sound is swallowed whole by Ling Xinlu.

Yuri’s shoulders flinch. His hands, floating in the air with nowhere to go, and his body, frozen stiff, remain motionless.

Ling Xinlu, devouring Yuri’s lips as if to swallow every single breath, seems to pull away for a fleeting second. However, keeping their lips pressed tightly together, he occasionally licks Yuri’s lips and tongue, whispering low.

“Is this similar too? Right, it might be similar?! Ha, first love. If it’s your first love, it must have been a woman.”

Suddenly, his mouth stops for a moment atop the lips.

“――Then you probably never did this.”

It was the moment a low, cool whisper seeped between their lips.

The hand that had been gripping his waist tightly slid inside Yuri’s pants. Gliding down the back of his waist with the entire palm, the hand pushed between Yuri’s buttocks without a hint of hesitation. And before a startled Yuri could even move, a finger pushed inside—into the closed flesh.

“…―!!”

Yuri’s body recoils as if he might leap. He instinctively tries to pull his waist away to escape the hand, but he is unable to move because of the arm tightly embracing his waist with the other hand.

“Wait, a, ――.”

At a sensation far too raw to be called familiar, Yuri reflexively tries to push Ling Xinlu away, but Xinlu only tightens his grip on his waist, pulling him closer.

“Surely you won’t tell me you did this too. ……. ……Did you?!”

When Yuri is unable to answer because of the eerie sensation of something wriggling and prying open his insides, Ling Xinlu lets out a sudden shout. At the same time, he thrusts deeper, causing Yuri to recoil violently once more.

“No way! I didn’t! When we were kids, what on earth――.”

Yuri answers in a voice flipped by gasping, then stops abruptly with an “ah.” It is because the finger digging into his body poked the inside, sending a tingling sensation spreading through his lower half.

It was a sensation he already knew, but that didn’t mean he could be used to it.

Ling Xinlu looks at Yuri, who has fallen silent with a face beginning to burn hot and shoulders twitching, with a slight frown.

“If it was when you were kids, when did you meet?”

“Twelve――twelve or thirteen, years old…….”

He couldn’t remember exactly. More than that, his mind was beginning to scramble, making it impossible to calculate and think properly.

Answering haphazardly while recalling him from that time, Yuri grips the arm of Ling Xinlu who is holding him. He felt as if his body might collapse from this unfamiliar sensation, and he felt the need to hold onto something.

But then, the sensation roughly stirring his insides stopped abruptly.

“……. Twelve or thirteen? And the last time you met?”

“Th-that time――just once――.”

Even though the movement probing his insides stopped, the body that had already been ignited did not settle down quickly. He could feel his groin beginning to swell beneath his waist, where the tingling sensation clung.

Then, the finger inside him was suddenly yanked out. As Yuri lets out a short breath at the foreign feeling of something scraping past him, Ling Xinlu pushes him back to a distance where their faces are clearly visible and looks at him with a strangely distorted expression.

Staring intently at Yuri with eyes so strained it would be more accurate to say he was glaring, he spits out harshly, as if it were absurd.

“That’s not a first love; that’s just a childhood friend.”

“―….”

“What ‘love’ are ten-year-olds talking about? That’s not a first love. That is not your first love.”

Yuri had enough tact not to say, ‘But I was twenty-five at the time,’ to Ling Xinlu, who was speaking decisively with fierce eyes.

“Besides, how different is a childhood face from an adult face? What do you mean ‘resemble’? He’d have a completely different face now.”

Ling Xinlu spits out the words fiercely and clicks his tongue. As if suddenly losing steam, he lets out a pained sigh and lets his shoulders slump.

Yuri, who also had enough tact not to retort, ‘No, the face would be exactly the same,’ remains quietly silent.

Ling Xinlu turns his back, pulls the blanket over himself, and flops onto the bed. Yuri, half-sitting up, gazes blankly at that back.

He was bewildered. From the start of this situation to the way it had just been cut off. For a moment, he couldn’t think of anything to do in this state.

Then, as his thoughts slowly returned, he remembered what the correct emotion to feel right now should be.

Even if Xinlu was angry about him saying he resembled someone—though he wasn’t sure if it was something to get that angry about—it was certain that he had taken his anger out in an excessive manner.

In that case, he should be angry in this situation――.

“Are you angry?”

Just as his thoughts were being organized in his head before the emotion could arise, Ling Xinlu suddenly pulled the blanket down below his neck and looked back.

Just as Yuri was about to open his mouth, wondering if he should answer that he was just about to get angry, Ling Xinlu sat up again to face him.

“I’m sorry. I think I went too far. I was wrong.”

In contrast to a moment ago, his darkened face spoke softly. Murmuring to himself, ‘Why did I do that?’, Ling Xinlu lowered his gaze and fell silent with a gloomy expression.

Glancing up at Yuri, who was just watching him in silence, he lowered his gaze again, appearing even more drained. His slightly frowning face looked as if he were blaming himself.

“I’m sorry. ……I just felt upset for a moment. My mood swings get a bit severe right after I wake up. So……. I had a bad dream, too. I dreamed of all the bastards I hate popping up, so I was in a bad mood. Then I suddenly woke up, and I think I was emotionally unstable. ……I’m sorry. Please don’t be angry. I was wrong.”

Because he sat before Yuri with a serious face and poured out a long explanation in one breath, Yuri had no room to say he was angry. Moreover, before he could say he was angry—before he could even recall the feeling of anger—seeing Ling Xinlu bow his head and apologize with a crestfallen face caused the anger that had been creeping up to slide back down.

“I didn’t intend to treat you carelessly. ――I am sorry.”

Looking down at Ling Xinlu, who murmured in a sunken voice while bowing his head deeply, Yuri blinked for a moment and let out a low breath.

“……, Yes.”

Yuri answered with a short word and nodded.

He had no intention of staying angry at someone who apologized so readily. He felt he bore some responsibility as well, and besides, the emotion of anger didn’t surge that strongly.

Only after hearing the answer did Ling Xinlu lift his head to check on Yuri, a slow smile appearing on his cautious face. To the man saying ‘I’m sorry’ once more, Yuri shook his head briefly, saying it was fine now.

Still looking at Yuri as if he were sorry, Ling Xinlu eventually let out a light breath and lay back down. He turned to the side and lightly patted the spot, signaling Yuri to lie down as well.

This time, Yuri truly wanted to go back to his room, but he hesitated, fearing that leaving now would make it look as if he were actually angry despite saying he wasn’t. While he hesitated, Ling Xinlu patted the spot again, and Yuri ended up lying down.

A quiet silence settled between the two of them lying neatly side by side.

Listening to the sound of Ling Xinlu’s breathing, lying about a hand’s span away, Yuri began counting the patterns on the ceiling again. Seeing that the presence beside him didn’t fade even after counting to fifty, a hundred, and two hundred, it seemed Ling Xinlu couldn’t fall asleep easily either.

Thinking that if he stayed like this a bit longer, it would be the time he usually woke up to go swimming, Yuri let out a low sigh and curled up.

“Are you cold?”

Ling Xinlu asked, turning around. Before Yuri could say he wasn’t, Xinlu pulled the blanket over, covering Yuri generously.

“No, I’m fine. I’m not cold, and the blanket is plenty.”

“I just wondered if you couldn’t sleep because you were cold.”

Ling Xinlu spoke while pulling the blanket up to Yuri’s neck, but that couldn’t be the case. In a mansion where the heating was so good that one could wear short-sleeved shirts even in the dead of winter, there was no reason to suddenly be cold.

“No, that’s not why I can’t sleep. I’m just… wide awake.”

Yuri shook his head. His sleepiness had vanished long ago. His mind was clear and he wasn’t drowsy.

Ling Xinlu gazed at Yuri. He seemed to lean toward him. The distance of a hand’s span narrowed to less than half a span.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?”

“Yes, probably not.”

“Then,”

Suddenly, his voice dropped sharply. Leaning his head to bring his lips close to Yuri’s ear, Ling Xinlu whispered low, like a secret.

“Shall I finish what we were doing earlier?”

There was no need to ask what ‘what we were doing earlier’ referred to. The hand that had been quietly stroking Yuri’s shoulder was now resting below the waist, near the buttocks.

Yuri fell silent.

The fire that had been lit by the poking inside his body had mostly subsided now. His lower half, which had been heavy and aching from the half-baked stimulation, had become tolerable. Although a tingling sensation still faintly remained, it would likely vanish if he stayed like this a bit longer.

Moreover, setting that aside, he felt awkward first.

“No, it’s okay.”

“I’ll finish it for you. It must have been hard since I stopped halfway earlier. I’m sorry.”

The hand that had reached out quietly pulled Yuri’s head in. He was pulled closer, and their bodies touched. Their chests met first, and then they moved slowly until their stomachs touched. Below that, a faint sense of volume brushed against him.

“…―.”

That volume, which seemed slightly more swollen than usual, soon rose a bit more. While Yuri blinked, wondering if he had misfelt it, it rose a bit more again.

“……Besides, I’m feeling a bit in the mood too.”

Ling Xinlu whispered low in Yuri’s ear and pressed his lower waist closer. Amidst the sensation of slowly rubbing against each other, Ling Xinlu softly breathed his faintly roughened breath into Yuri’s ear.

“Do you not want to?”

Yuri didn’t answer. His lips, parted as if to say something, remained silent for a long time.

It was ambiguous to say he didn’t want to. Regardless, although the embers inside his body were fading, he had been craving it until now, and the memory of mixing bodies with him—though it had been very overwhelming—had engraved an intense pleasure.

However, that didn’t mean he actively wanted to do it. Although his body had flared up slightly, it was something he could easily endure, and above all, he still didn’t feel like receiving ‘service.’

Ling Xinlu, looking down at Yuri who was lost in thought, seemingly unsure of what to do, seemed to grow anxious. Nibbling on Yuri’s ear with his lips, he whispered in a slightly rougher voice.

“Do you really not want to?”

The hand stroking his waist rubbed his body slowly. Pulling Yuri back in as he instinctively recoiled, Ling Xinlu pressed their lower halves together, rubbing his penis, which had already begun to take on a distinct volume, against Yuri’s groin. The reason his hip movements became gradually bolder seemed to be because he noticed that Yuri was also beginning to get erect.

‘This is troublesome, if it goes any further, my body will really give in,’ just as Yuri thought this and was about to open his mouth.

“I want to.”

Ling Xinlu whispered.

Their penises, already touching through two layers of clothing, were swollen, rubbing their desires against each other. Both Ling Xinlu and Yuri.

Yuri, whose consciousness was increasingly focused on the intensifying sensations below, looked at Ling Xinlu with a troubled face. ‘I want to,’ he whispered once more.

Yuri didn’t think for long. He soon lowered his gaze. And slowly spread his legs.

“―….”

His neck, as he kept his head lowered bluntly, grew hot.

Soon, he thought he heard the sound of a joyful laugh above his head.

* * *

It seems superstitions shouldn’t be looked down upon so lightly.

Yuri thought this while recalling the word ‘Bad’ written in red on the corner of today’s calendar.

On the calendar where one page is torn off every day, there was a small character above and to the left of the date indicating the day’s fortune; though not frequent, there were times when ‘Bad’ was written.

‘I feel like my mood will be bad all day if I see a word like this; why is this written here?’

Yuri, who realized only after more than a month in China that the calendar indicated the day’s luck, had once asked with a tilted head. At that time, Ling Xinlu had replied nonchalantly, ‘Old people like that stuff. It’s just telling you to be careful. You don’t have to mind it.’ He had waved his hand as if it were ridiculous, saying that with so many people in the world, luck couldn’t be so uniform.

‘I see,’ Yuri had nodded, thinking he was right, and stopped paying attention. So today, too, while tearing off the calendar in the morning, he had seen ‘Bad’ and jokingly said, ‘It’s a day to be careful of one’s health,’ and moved on.

However, for today, it didn’t seem to be entirely wrong. It had been like that from the moment he tore off that calendar page.

He hadn’t thought so even when he answered the phone from James, who asked, 『Yuri, how are you doing? When are you coming back here?』

‘I don’t know. I have no plans for the time being. How about over there? Is everyone doing well?’

『Yeah, everyone’s doing great except me. Kyle is still here, talking nonsense about planning a book fair out of season—I mean, what on earth does a defense company have to do with a book fair?! Is he planning to exhibit defense catalogs?! And the second one is doing well, though he’s an international fugitive who occasionally disappears on a whim and seems to be dipping his toes into crime. And Mr. Tae-yi is doing well, too; he ruined his life by meeting the wrong person but is trying to find simple happiness in the midst of it, practically living in Kyle’s study.』

Seeing James’s grumpy tone, asking ‘Who else do you want to know about, Annette? Derek?’, it seemed Kyle had caused some headache again recently.

‘It seems things are tough lately.’

‘When life gets hard, people tend to become brittle,’ Yuri murmured, and instinctively glanced up at Ling Xinlu, who was sitting at the table brewing coffee. At that exact moment, he locked eyes with Ling Xinlu, who was looking at him, and he clicked his tongue inwardly.

Ling Xinlu was no longer like he used to be. Even if the names of Riegrow or Jung Tae-ui reached his ears—regardless of how he felt inside—he would snort, ‘Is that guy still living like that?’ without much change in expression, or smile brightly, saying, ‘Haha, Tae-yi hyung must have a hard time. I miss him.’

He no longer lost his expression, let murderous intent flare on his pale face, or lost control of himself over a tiny clue related to them, as he had during his difficult times in the past. Now, he even made jokes himself, saying, ‘I should write a letter to Tae-yi hyung to check in. I’ll put about ten heart marks here and there just to piss him off.’

Nevertheless, Yuri did not intentionally bring up topics about them in front of Ling Xinlu. He didn’t go out of his way to hide it, but he hoped that, if possible, it wouldn’t reach his ears.

Although he had learned how to mask his expression with an air of indifference toward their subject, Ling Xinlu’s eyebrows still furrowed for a fleeting moment the instant he heard anything related to them—primarily Riegrow. His fingers curled instinctively as if to clench into a fist, but they smoothed out before they could even touch his palm, as if nothing had happened. Yuri, however, noticed.

It would likely improve over time, but he would probably never be able to discuss them with true, natural ease for the rest of his life. Not unless a miracle occurred and Ling Xinlu regained sight in his left eye—or even if he did.

Yet, despite Yuri’s own proficiency in hiding his emotions behind a vacant expression, it was difficult to conceal anything entirely from this perceptive man. This moment was no different.

Ling Xinlu, who had been speaking only with his lips—‘Who is calling? The coffee is all brewed’—possessed a sense of intuition several times sharper than most, and unfortunately for Yuri, he seemed to have read something in Yuri’s eyes when he glanced up.

Seeing Ling Xinlu look at him with a slightly serious, puzzled expression, asking “What is it?” Yuri clicked his tongue inwardly. Why did I have to look so concerned?

『Right, when are you coming back? It would be better if at least you were here; I feel like I’m going to die of overwork by tomorrow.』

‘I don’t know. For the time being, I have no plans to do so, but if you do die of overwork, I’ll be sure to attend the funeral. However, before that, if I may offer some advice that might be useful to you, James—’

Yuri paused mid-sentence. It was because Ling Xinlu’s puzzled expression had vanished for a brief second. At the mention of the name James, he must have realized why Yuri had looked at him with such hesitation.

Yuri quietly lowered his gaze and continued.

‘…Try asking Jung Tae-ui for help. He’s in a restricted situation for a while, so he should have plenty of time.’

『Hmm? Hmm. Yeah, that doesn’t sound bad.』

Though they hadn’t spent much time together, James was a young man with a quick mind and great adaptability. As long as it wasn’t highly specialized work, he would at least meet expectations if given a task.

Perhaps thinking along the same lines as Yuri, James muttered with a positive tone, 『Right, that’s true. Why haven’t I thought of using him until now?!』 Then, with a final parting word—『Anyway, let me know before you return. There are plenty of positions that need you』—the call ended. He likely intended to call Jung Tae-ui immediately.

After Yuri put the phone down, Ling Xinlu urged him in a casual tone after a short pause.

‘The coffee’s getting cold. Mr. Gable, you don’t like cold coffee.’

‘Ah, yes.’

Yuri replied briefly and returned to the table. While he had been on the phone, a simple meal had already been set out.

‘I put in less salt thinking it might be too salty, but now it’s too bland. I’ll have to add more next time.’

As Yuri sat across from Ling Xinlu, who was casually munching on scrambled eggs and muttering to himself, Yuri murmured, ‘Is that so?’ Ling Xinlu placed a coffee cup in front of Yuri and picked up his own.

‘I still prefer milk over coffee, but after drinking it for a while, coffee isn’t so bad. But doesn’t it give you heartburn to drink coffee on an empty stomach right after waking up?’

‘I suppose. I’ve grown used to it.’

‘Aha, I see,’ Ling Xinlu nodded. He then gazed at Yuri and gave a pretty, eye-curving smile.

‘Then I guess it’s also become a habit for you to glance at me whenever Tae-yi hyung or that bastard is mentioned.’

Yuri paused, his fork stopping mid-air. However, he soon resumed dipping his salad as if nothing were wrong and replied, ‘Did I?’

‘You did,’ Ling Xinlu said casually, sipping his coffee.

‘Is your brother doing well?’

‘So I’m told.’

‘And it would be strange if that bastard couldn’t survive with that temperament of his.’

‘….’

Yuri briefly looked up at Ling Xinlu before returning his gaze to the table.

His face was nonchalant. It was as if he were talking about a friend he used to bicker with lightly in the past. Yuri simply agreed, ‘Indeed.’

‘But you know.’

Crunch. Ling Xinlu spoke as he picked up a whole bell pepper and bit into it like an apple.

‘I’m trying my hardest not to think about it, but do you know that when you walk on eggshells around me, Mr. Gable, it actually makes me think about it more and hurts my feelings instead?’

Yuri stopped his fork again. This time he remained still for longer before honestly bowing his head.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.’

Crunch, crunch. After finishing the bell pepper in a few bites, Ling Xinlu stared intently at Yuri until he had swallowed. Then, he clicked his tongue and sighed. Wiping a bit of sauce from the corner of his mouth with his thumb and licking it off, he spoke calmly.

‘It’s not like I have any plans to do anything about it right now. It’s fine to hear news about Tae-yi hyung occasionally, and as for that bastard, a chance to crush him will come at least once in a lifetime, so I’ve decided to wait patiently. Of course, hearing his name isn’t a pleasant feeling, but I’m not going to ruin my own health by letting it turn my stomach anymore. So, don’t worry about it.’

After saying that, Ling Xinlu tilted his head slightly and glared at Yuri with a frown.

‘…I mean, I’m the one with the grudge here, so why are you more concerned than I am, Mr. Gable?’

The last remark was delivered as a joke, phrased as an exaggerated complaint. Only then did Yuri let out a faint smile and relax his shoulders, saying, ‘I wonder.’

He knew that the instability of the past had mostly vanished. He believed that even if Ling Xinlu heard those names, or perhaps even faced Riegrow head-on, he would no longer lose control and expose his fragile mental state.

Nevertheless, the reason he didn’t want to bring up their names in front of him was that he didn’t want to trigger unpleasant memories.

Ling Xinlu watched Yuri, who was letting out a silent breath with a calm face, and chuckled. He spoke lightly, but with sincerity.

‘Thank you for worrying about me. Now, and in the past.’

With that, the topic was closed. They finished their plates while talking about what time the rehabilitation center appointment was today and how he hated going because it was tedious.

Nothing was different from usual. His generous and relaxed demeanor, and the way his eyes twinkled when thinking of a mischievous prank, were all the same. Perhaps the impression that he still cared about them was because his pride was wounded, or perhaps he simply didn’t show it in front of Yuri, but he didn’t bring them up again.

“….”

Recalling the memory of the morning, Yuri let out a slow sigh.

It was okay. He was stable enough. He could respond coldly and calmly to the things that happened to him.

Now, he even thought that perhaps it was for the best that there had been a period where his unstable mind was fully exposed, leaving him torn and wounded in various ways. That such a period had passed early.

So that in the rough and complex work he would now have to learn and handle, he could walk his own path without wavering while managing those tasks skillfully.

…And that when he looked back in the future, he could say those experiences served as useful fertilizer for his life.

Yuri checked his watch and sighed.

It was almost time for Ling Xinlu to return.

Perhaps because he had started the day with a heavy heart, today really didn’t seem like it would be a very good day, just as indicated on the calendar. Even though it wasn’t rush hour, traffic was jammed, making him late for the rehabilitation center appointment. While standing on the street drinking a beverage and waiting for Ling Xinlu to finish his program, Yuri had even been forced to show his ID to a passing public security officer for no apparent reason.

The only remaining schedule for today was to stop by the family home in the evening. Once Ling Xinlu came out of the rehabilitation center, they could head straight there.

He hoped nothing bad would happen after this.

Recalling a superstition, Yuri made a small sign of the cross, just as his maternal grandmother used to do.

Just then, the passenger door swung open. Ling Xinlu climbed into the car, muttering, “Ugh, it suddenly got cold.” Yuri started the engine, turned on the heater, and looked back at him.

“How was it today?”

“Hmm, I feel like it’s just a waste of money and time, probably.”

Ling Xinlu shook his head. He pressed down on his eyelids, saying, “I feel like my eyes are just getting more tired for nothing.”

Yuri began to move the car without a word.

They said that depending on the effort and with the use of assistive devices, he might regain enough vision to vaguely distinguish the shapes of objects. Ling Xinlu had scoffed, saying, ‘So you’re saying even if I succeed through effort, I’ll still be practically blind,’ but he had been attending the rehabilitation center obediently.

Occasionally, when he was in a bad mood, he would frown and say he didn’t want to go, but if Yuri persuaded him several times, he would let out an annoyed sigh and start getting ready. He had never missed a session. However, there had been no particular improvement.

“Was today’s program very difficult? You seem more exhausted than usual.”

When Yuri spoke while looking at Ling Xinlu through the rearview mirror, Ling Xinlu, who had been leaning his head against the window looking outside, shifted his gaze to Yuri and clicked his tongue, saying, “No, it’s not that.”

“The program was no different from usual, but the eldest brother and second brother called one after another and bothered me.”

“…?”

“I should stop dawdling and start learning the business in earnest, but my eyes are in this state. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but it seems my mother is strongly opposed. She asks how I can do such demanding work with eyes like these.”

‘Normally, I should have started learning a while ago, but since my mother is stubbornly opposed, my father, who is soft on her, can’t just cut her off,’ Ling Xinlu shrugged.

Yuri nodded silently.

In the ringa—Ring Huolong had already designated Ling Xinlu as the one to take over all matters related to the ringa’s liquor business.

There were many people who were displeased with that decision.

Including the older brothers who had a significant age gap with Ling Xinlu, there were numerous people whose interests were involved, and among them, there were more who opposed Ring Huolong’s decision than those who supported it.

However, none of them could openly oppose Ring Huolong, and Ling Xinlu was scheduled to begin learning the related work shortly.

The reason it was being delayed day by day, despite the decision, was because of Ling Xinlu’s mother’s stubborn opposition.

Her point was that a child who was not physically whole and was frail could not possibly handle such demanding work. She wanted her son to stay far away from the business and lead a comfortable, leisurely life.

Regardless of what she said, Ling Xinlu himself had no particular disagreement with the decision, and eventually, whether sooner or later, it was work he would take over, but it had been postponed bit by bit.

“Still, I think I’ll start helping out with the work little by little starting around the week after next. I don’t like dragging things out like this either.”

It seemed Ling Xinlu had made that decision himself. If he had decided it, his mother would no longer be able to simply oppose it.

“Besides, telling me to work only after my eyes get better… I’d have to be unemployed for the rest of my life.”

‘Though that’s probably what my mother wants,’ Ling Xinlu laughed.

Yuri glanced at him but said nothing.

Almost every possible effort had already been made. He didn’t expect the eyes, which had shown no improvement so far, to get better in the future. Neither did Yuri, nor Ling Xinlu himself.

If so, words like ‘It will get better soon’ or ‘Don’t say that’—things Ling Xinlu had likely heard hundreds of times—would only echo in the air.

“If you start learning the business, who will you be working with?”

“Probably my youngest uncle. Among those handling the liquor business, he’s the only one with enough leeway to look after me.”

The beginning would be following someone already handling the liquor business and learning the ropes over their shoulder. In that way, over a long period of one, two, five, or ten years, he would inherit the business.

“It seems most of the ringa’s businesses are managed by relatives.”

When Yuri asked, Ling Xinlu laughed. It was a tone that suggested Yuri was asking a foolish question he already knew the answer to.

“Well, if it were a legitimate business, we could leave it to others, but among the things that serve as our family’s cash cow, the ones that are quite dangerous have to be handled by direct descendants. As you know, the people in my family are naturally very suspicious. They don’t trust easily, even if they’ve known someone for a thousand years.”

‘The eldest brother has a face like a good man, but he’s no different, so don’t trust him too much,’ he added playfully.

Yuri drove forward in silence.

From the beginning, Ling Xinlu was the person closest to the heart of their bloodline. He was a person destined to take root there eventually.

That day had now drawn very close.

“Ah… what a pain.”

Ling Xinlu muttered a sigh-filled monologue to himself. Yuri, who had continued driving in silence for a while, lowered the heater as the air in the car had become sufficiently warm and spoke.

“If it’s something you don’t want to do, can’t you avoid it or choose something else? Or if the current situation is not ideal, wait until the situation becomes appropriate.”

He was cautious even as he spoke.

This was not a matter he had the right to comment on. No matter how close he was to any of them, he was ultimately not part of their domain, and there was no room for him to intervene. He should not say anything about the division of roles among their bloodline.

However.

—It’s not just liquor that’s being passed over. Things that can’t be sold openly… most of those things flow along with the liquor.

Yuri knew the danger implied in those words. It was a danger that no one was unaware of.

But along with the danger of the goods themselves, Yuri hoped that Ling Xinlu would not handle such things. This wasn’t for any particular reason; it was simply Yuri’s personal wish.

If Ling Xinlu wanted it, there would be nothing to be done, but if he didn’t want it, he hoped he would not touch the liquor—and the drugs or other distorted goods traded along with it.

As someone not in a position to make any statements regarding the internal affairs of the ringa, Yuri could not speak up, but it was something he absolutely did not want to recommend if possible.

If Ling Xinlu said he didn’t want to do it.

“If you don’t want to do it, perhaps there’s a way to avoid it somehow.”

Yuri stopped there. Any more would truly be overstepping.

Ling Xinlu was staring at Yuri. With a somewhat strange expression, blinking and looking at Yuri in silence for a while, Ling Xinlu tilted his head as if thinking about something, then chuckled.

“I think there’s a slight misunderstanding. I didn’t say I ‘don’t want to do it,’ I said it’s ‘a pain.’ …I think I’m starting to get a feel for your nature, Mr. Gable, so I vaguely understand why you’re saying that… well, you probably know my personality by now, so let’s just be blunt. I don’t dislike that work because it’s harmful. It’s just a pain. And ‘a pain’ and ‘don’t want to’ are not synonyms.”

‘Strange, you know enough about me, so why did you make that mistake?’ Ling Xinlu muttered and laughed out loud, as if it were amusing.

“You know me. Once I take on a task, I hate hearing that I’m worse than others. To avoid that, I’ll have to put in some effort, and that’s what’s a pain. It’s not that I’m reluctant because of the content of the work.”

Yuri did not give any answer. I see, he thought belatedly. If that was the case, he had no intention of saying more. From the start, he, who was not so moral himself, had no intention of lecturing them on morality.

If he didn’t mind the work, Yuri had no intention of saying anything about it.

There was only one thing that bothered him.

“You already knew I was this kind of person, didn’t you?”

Ling Xinlu, looking at the silent Yuri askew, asked with a subtle, eye-curving smile. As if asking if Yuri was suddenly disappointed now.

Yuri gazed at him blankly before shaking his head.

“I don’t want Mr. Ling Xinlu to do work that makes him prone to injury.”

Yes. That was what he disliked.

It could be called selfish, but rather than him getting involved in immoral work, Yuri hated the idea of him becoming endangered because of it.

As Yuri spoke bluntly and fell silent, he could feel Ling Xinlu, sitting in the passenger seat, staring intently at him. He didn’t know what kind of expression was on the other man’s face.

You’re more selfish than I thought, or Do you just say such embarrassing things without hesitation? Perhaps such thoughts were flickering across a smirking face, so Yuri did not look back at him. Even though it seemed Ling Xinlu, who had been staring at Yuri for a long while, had let out a small smile.

“Pull over for a moment.”

A slightly lowered voice spoke. Perhaps because it carried a more languid tone, the voice sounded subtly softer than before, and Yuri unconsciously slowed down and turned his gaze toward him.

Ling Xinlu was smiling. It was a faint, pale smile, the kind he wore on the rare occasions when he was in a very good mood.

“Maybe it’s because my mood suddenly lightened, but I’ve become lethargic. We can take our time visiting those heartless family members who don’t care about their brother’s eyes and are only interested in whether they can be used for work. My eyes are already dry and tired from doing eye exercises, so let’s rest for a bit.”

Pull over over there, it’s okay to stop on this road for a moment, Ling Xinlu gestured, and Yuri drove toward that direction, stopping the car on the shoulder beneath a large, drooping willow tree. He worried for a moment if it was alright, as everyone at the main house would be waiting for Ling Xinlu’s arrival, but since it was still too early for dinner, he didn’t feel particularly rushed.

“My luck hasn’t been great since this morning. I’ve felt quite off all day.”

Ling Xinlu murmured, reclining the car seat slightly.

Recalling the memories from the morning, Yuri gave a barely perceptible nod. Today had not been a particularly good day for Ling Xinlu, nor for Yuri.

However, Ling Xinlu seemed to realize what Yuri was thinking despite the silent nod. It was likely because the word ‘morning’ had reminded him of the events of that morning as well.

Ling Xinlu paused and glanced at Yuri.

“It’s not because of Tae-yi hyung.”

“……. Yes.”

Yuri remained silent for a moment but answered obediently with a nod.

“You looked like you didn’t believe me just now.”

“……. I believe you.”

“No, you definitely looked like you didn’t.”

Ling Xinlu frowned and glared at Yuri. With a composed face, Yuri said once more, “I believe you.” Ling Xinlu continued to glare, but having no grounds to deny the statement, he simply twisted his lips bitterly.

He let out a displeased sigh, Hmph.

“It really isn’t because of Tae-yi hyung. ……Well. To be honest, it is because of Riegrow.”

I told you my nature isn’t fully disciplined yet… Ling Xinlu muttered, clicking his tongue and sighing.

“When I hear that bastard is living comfortably, it actually makes my stomach churn. I wish he’d just drop dead somewhere.”

There was sincerity in the words spoken so calmly.

Yuri thought there were likely many people in the world who would be happy if Riegrow died, but since he held no great grudge against Riegrow, he remained silent rather than agreeing with Ling Xinlu.

Perhaps thinking of Riegrow had made him unpleasant again, as Ling Xinlu frowned for a moment and said nothing. Yuri didn’t offer clumsy consolation or agreement; he quietly turned off the engine. Seeing Ling Xinlu push the seat back, he figured they wouldn’t be leaving immediately.

Adjusting his own posture by reclining his seat slightly, Yuri froze when he felt a heavy weight pressing down on his shoulder.

Ling Xinlu, with his shoulder against the seat and his back half-turned, was leaning against Yuri. Using him as if he were a backrest, Ling Xinlu rested his head on Yuri’s shoulder, shifted his body a few times, and finally stopped moving once he found a comfortable position, letting out a relaxed sigh.

Having suddenly become a human backrest, Yuri couldn’t move an inch and could only blink while staring at Ling Xinlu. However, seeing no sign that he would move away soon, Yuri gave up and leaned back into the seat himself. His shoulder was a bit heavy, but it wasn’t particularly uncomfortable.

“Mr. Gable, do you like me that much?”

Ling Xinlu, who had his eyes closed as if intending to sleep, suddenly asked out of the blue. Yuri, who had also closed his eyes for a moment, opened them again. He looked down at Ling Xinlu, whose head was resting on his shoulder.

“……. Yes, I do.”

Yuri answered honestly. He had said it several times before. Even if he hadn’t put it into words, he must have conveyed it countless times through his gaze and gestures. So that it would be impossible for Ling Xinlu not to see it.

“Aren’t you upset that I like Tae-yi hyung?”

What Ling Xinlu said next was completely unexpected. It was rare for him to bring up Jung Tae-ui first in this manner.

Yuri remained silent before shaking his head. “No.”

I see, Ling Xinlu murmured dismissively.

For a while, no words returned. He remained silent for a long time, as if lost in thought—or as if he had fallen asleep.

Then, at some point, he spoke as if talking to himself.

“Being with him was nice, and it was fun. From the moment I first saw him, it was obvious he was staring at me, completely entranced because he liked me. I thought he was just another common insect, but then I found it strange that such an insect was the younger brother of a famous genius, so I watched him. ……But, he’s just a truly good person. To the point where I thought it would be nice to keep him by my side.”

There was a slight difference in our positions, but it just so happened that Tae-yi hyung liked me too, and I liked Tae-yi hyung, so it seemed like there were no problems, Ling Xinlu said, the sound of a smile in his voice.

“It was the first time I felt that way. I’d never felt the urge to keep someone by my side, to play with them, talk to them, or sleep with them before. ……So, I thought, ‘Ah, so this is what it means to like someone.’”

Ling Xinlu stopped talking. The faint trace of a smile vanished from his voice. He said nothing for a while as if deep in thought, and only after a long time did he continue.

“Mr. Gable, you told me once. That I might just hate Riegrow. ……When I took Tae-yi hyung to Johannesburg, he said something similar. That I wanted to possess him because I hated that guy.”

Yuri looked down at Ling Xinlu in silence. Since he was leaning his head on Yuri’s shoulder with his back turned, his face wasn’t visible, but Yuri still looked down and listened quietly.

“I thought I liked him. I still think so. But it’s certainly true that I brought him to my side to see Riegrow’s face contort. I was sincere when I thought about drugging him so that the bastard couldn’t have him. ……But if you say that’s not liking someone… then what is liking someone?”

Ling Xinlu seemed to tilt his head slightly. Although he didn’t turn enough for their eyes to meet, it was clearly a question directed at Yuri.

However, Yuri couldn’t answer. There was likely no one who could answer that question. What it means to like someone.

Joy. Sadness. Anguish. Ecstasy. Hatred. Pain. Who could draw a line and say that some of those could never be a form of liking?

“If those feelings aren’t liking, then I don’t like anyone. ……Does that mean I’m a human who is incapable of liking anyone?”

A bitter laugh tinged the end of his sentence. But Yuri imagined that the lips forming that smile must be distorted. The unseen expression surely was.

Yuri felt a pang of pity. His heart ached heavily, and he took a deep breath.

This was a question Ling Xinlu must have pondered countless times, even after whipping himself and enduring bone-carving pain hundreds of times to finally harden his instability into a solid stability. If I am wrong, what is right? Am I unable to accept that right thing? If so, will I have to suffer like this again someday?

“The way people like others cannot all be the same.”

Yuri spoke quietly.

He couldn’t draw a line between what was right and what was wrong. There would be no uniform line for such a matter. However.

“Even now, I don’t agree with the way Mr. Ling Xinlu tried to forcibly pull Mr. Jung Tae-ui toward you. I don’t think that is truly liking a person. ……But, well. Does liking someone necessarily have to be intense?”

Yuri spoke slowly, thinking deeply. Everyone would be different, but that was how he felt. Being satisfied with just catching a glimpse of them from afar, being happy to hear they are living well, and thinking of them pleasantly while seeing something they liked—that too could be a form of liking.

Ling Xinlu said nothing. Still leaning on Yuri’s shoulder with his back turned, he simply listened to his words and then laughed weakly.

“Is that really called liking someone?”

It feels like chewing on tasteless grass, Ling Xinlu murmured, sounding a bit incredulous. Yuri gazed at him blankly and spoke softly.

“But I like you. In that way.”

Ling Xinlu couldn’t tell Yuri that such a thing wasn’t liking. Even if it was a love as quiet and persistent as tasteless grass.

Suddenly, Yuri wanted to kiss the top of Ling Xinlu’s head as it rested on his shoulder, but he didn’t; he only watched. He thought that perhaps this was the difference between himself and the other man.

“Really, Mr. Gable, your tendencies are so different from mine…….”

After a period of silence, Ling Xinlu let out a short, sigh-like chuckle.

“I can’t do that. Just staring blankly doesn’t satisfy me.”

That is not a method I would choose, he stated flatly.

Ling Xinlu also knew that there was a gap as wide as the difference between a leopard and grass between himself and Yuri. Unless something extraordinary happened, they would have had no connection at all. Thus, just as he had flatly shaken his head at Yuri’s words, he would never be able to like someone the way Yuri did.

“But,”

After a short pause, Ling Xinlu spoke readily, though his face seemed slightly pinched.

“I don’t dislike Mr. Gable’s way. I like it. Because it’s like you.”

A laugh mixed into the end of his sentence. No, he actually laughed. He laughed out loud for a moment, as if his mood had become pleasant.

Yuri looked down at Ling Xinlu and ended up letting out a small laugh himself.

He didn’t know what had pleased the other man, but if his heart had become lighter, that was enough.

Feeling his own mood lighten as well, Yuri let out a light sigh.

Raise your shoulder a bit more, so it’s easier to lean, Ling Xinlu even gave orders to adjust Yuri’s posture for his own convenience, and then he leaned back comfortably as if he were finally going to close his eyes, stretching his limbs long. Then, he leaned in, rubbing his head against Yuri’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Ling Xinlu stopped moving, remained still for a moment, and then tilted his head.

Ah, it’s me again, the scent, he murmured, then shifted his body and buried his nose in Yuri’s chest. He took a deep breath.

You don’t wear perfume, Ling Xinlu confirmed a fact he already knew, and remained motionless with his face buried in Yuri’s chest.

“……Do you smell it again?”

“Hmm…… what is it. It’s definitely familiar. Don’t be offended. I told you it’s not a bad smell. ……How should I put it, it makes my heart feel comfortable and cozy, …―.”

Ling Xinlu’s voice trailed off languidly, and he suddenly fell silent.

Gently rubbing his cheek against Yuri’s chest and taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes comfortably, as if he might fall asleep right there.

Eventually.

“……Ah. ……It’s the smell of water.”

A low, whispering voice.

I see. That was it.

Whispering low, almost like an exclamation, he buried his face deeper into Yuri’s chest. The hand gripping Yuri’s arm tightened slightly.

Yuri looked down at Ling Xinlu, who had stopped moving and remained with his face buried in his chest. As if he would lose that faint, vague scent if he relaxed for even a second, Ling Xinlu clung to his arm and burrowed into Yuri’s embrace.

……The smell of water.

Yuri tilted his head and brought his nose close to his own body, but as expected, he couldn’t smell anything particular. Ever since Ling Xinlu had mentioned a familiar scent in the past, it was a smell Yuri couldn’t perceive.

The smell of water.

The scent of a place where the heart relaxes, feeling comfortable and cozy.

Ling Xinlu closed his eyes there and let out a long breath. A voice so slow and small it was hard to understand flowed from his lips.

“You were right. I feel like I’m melting. My heavy heart. Like salt. ……Yes. This is it.”

Speaking in fragmented sentences with disjointed word order, he murmured to himself, This was it.

Ling Xinlu didn’t move for a long time. He seemed to have fallen asleep.

Holding him in his embrace, Yuri didn’t move either. Fearing that the other man, who was so cozily immersed, would wake up if he moved even slightly.

However, it seemed he hadn’t fallen asleep.

As Yuri’s back grew stiff from staying in that position for so long, he moved very carefully, just a tiny bit, to straighten his waist. Immediately, Ling Xinlu lifted his head and pulled away.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“Yes, slightly. ……It’s fine now. You can lean on me again.”

When Yuri spoke after adjusting his posture, Ling Xinlu burst into laughter.

“Any position will be uncomfortable if you stay in it for a long time.”

“That may be true for me, but you, leaning on me from the passenger seat, must be more uncomfortable.”

“I’m not.”

Ling Xinlu answered immediately. When Yuri looked at him, he met his gaze calmly with a smile in his eyes. Really, I’m not uncomfortable, he said readily.

Ling Xinlu, perhaps feeling sorry that Yuri had been unable to move for so long, simply tilted his head from the passenger seat and rested it lightly on Yuri’s shoulder.

“This is enough for now. ……Since my heart suddenly feels at ease, I really do feel lethargic. I’m going to sleep for a bit.”

“Should I wake you up?”

“Hmm…… no. Just let me sleep.”

With those final words, he stopped speaking. Instead, only the sound of low, steady breathing flowed out. Yuri didn’t say anything more.

Before long, the weight on his shoulder increased slightly. He must have really fallen asleep.

“…….”

Yuri looked down at Ling Xinlu and let out a large yawn. His own eyelids were becoming heavy. Yuri glanced at the clock and closed his eyes. There is nothing as sweet as a short nap.

But.

The smell of water.

Yuri raised his arm again and quietly tried to smell himself.

He still didn’t know what that scent was, but he thought that if it could melt Ling Xinlu’s heavy heart, then that was enough.

Yuri rested his head on the head cushion. Drowsiness approached like a wave.

The weight transmitted from his shoulder felt good.

Thinking that the inside of the car, containing his body heat and breathing as he leaned on his shoulder, felt just like being underwater, Yuri peacefully let go of consciousness.