#149

As expected. Jung-hyun thought to himself as he watched Shin Ho-jae glide across the lake like a fish in water.

Forget thirty minutes. He found himself wishing he could let him skate excitedly for three or four hours.

“Hyung!”

Shin Ho-jae, who had already reached the distance, waved his arm vigorously. Jung-hyun let out a small chuckle and waved back.

It was a breathtaking sight.

Against the backdrop of the snow-capped Rocky Mountains, a natural ice rink stretched out endlessly.

It was a stroke of luck that, since it was still early morning, there were only a few tourists and local children playing with sticks in the hockey zone.

Jung-hyun watched the fast-skating Shin Ho-jae for a long while before belatedly remembering the phone in his pocket. He thought it would be good to capture this moment in a photo. It felt like something that would remain in his memory for a very long time.

He took out his phone and turned on the camera. Shin Ho-jae, wearing a thick jumper, appeared within the rectangular screen. He tried to take a few photos, but because Ho-jae was moving so quickly, he mostly captured blurred afterimages. Shaking his head slightly, Jung-hyun gave up on the photos and switched the camera to video mode.

“This is better.”

It was beautiful. The surroundings were perfectly silent, and the only sound was that of Shin Ho-jae cutting through the ice.

As he gazed at the landscape, so white it made his eyes ache, Jung-hyun’s eyes suddenly grew hot.

Shin Ho-jae didn’t remember, but after hearing the story from the resort manager, Jung-hyun was able to recall the memory of that time.

Back then, Jung-hyun had settled in that spot to wait for him, having called him out insistently. Jung-hyun was the only one sitting alone at that atmospheric poolside bar. And across from where he sat was an elderly couple who looked very affectionate.

They were a middle-aged couple who seemed to get along wonderfully. Soon, the drinks he had ordered arrived, and Jung-hyun had spent a long time watching that couple while sipping his drink. All while feeling a sudden, bottomless surge of loneliness.

At the time, he thought he was feeling envy because he was projecting the image of the mother and father he never had onto them. After all, family had always been like an Achilles’ heel to him.

But was that really all? Was that the only reason he felt such piercing loneliness? Perhaps, seeing that affectionate couple, he had thought it was a sight he could never achieve, no matter how much he wanted it.

Since he was someone who couldn’t maintain a normal relationship with anyone, there was no way he could grow old so beautifully with someone else. That was why he had been so lonely.

Only now, after all this time, could he look clearly at the emotions of that moment.

“Hyung!”

At the sound of the voice again, Jung-hyun looked up. It seemed Ho-jae had been chatting excitedly with the kids who were playing hockey over there, but now the children were gone and Shin Ho-jae was left alone.

Shin Ho-jae crossed the lake in an instant. Yes, he was very fast and straightforward. That was the kind of person Shin Ho-jae was. He had always been that way. He didn’t try to deceive his emotions with clumsy lies, nor did he hide in cowardice.

“Did you see?”

As he approached, his cheeks were flushed red. It seemed he had gotten quite a workout after circling the lake for a while. Jung-hyun asked as he put his phone in his pocket.

“See what?”

“The kids got my autograph!”

“Do they know who you are, Ho-jae?”

“…No, they saw my skates and asked if I played hockey. I told them I’d be playing for the New Jersey Devils starting next season, so they asked for an autograph, and I gave it to them.”

Scratching the back of his neck, Ho-jae let out an “ah” and held out his right hand. When Jung-hyun reflexively held out his palm, something dropped onto it with a thud. It was an ice hockey puck, with edges that were heavily chipped and worn, as if it had been used for a long time.

“They gave me this as a souvenir.”

“One they were using?”

“It’s cute. If you flip it over, there’s a hockey club logo. I think it’s a team the local kids play for.”

Flipping the puck over, Jung-hyun saw a blue logo, just as Shin Ho-jae had said. Perhaps because it was blue, he thought it looked similar to the Blue Wolves logo.

His eyes met Shin Ho-jae’s. As Ho-jae curled the corners of his lips into a smile, Jung-hyun smiled back.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because you’re smiling, Ho-jae.”

“…I like hearing that.”

Without erasing his smile, Jung-hyun gazed quietly at him.

The reason he now had the courage to look straight at the emotions he had ignored in the past—it was because Shin Ho-jae was by his side right now.

Jung-hyun smiled silently. As his eyes and mouth curved into arcs, the single dimple below his lip popped in. It was a very comfortable-looking smile.

Shin Ho-jae stared blankly at his smiling face, mesmerized. Then, when their eyes met, he muttered awkwardly.

“…I think this is the first time I’ve seen you smile like that, Hyung.”

“Ho-jae.”

“Yes?”

As he answered, Shin Ho-jae’s cheeks instantly stiffened. It was a habit born from always listening intently and staying tense toward what Jung-hyun said. It was pitiful, and yet, he was grateful for it.

“When this puck drops….”

Jung-hyun raised the puck in his hand to his chest.

“Shall we try starting over from then?”

Shin Ho-jae opened his mouth blankly and asked haltingly.

“In… in what sense do you mean starting over…?”

The end of his sentence trembled slightly. Thinking he hadn’t explained enough, Jung-hyun spoke again.

“In whatever way you want. If you’re asking for my opinion… the word ‘lovers’ feels a bit light, and the word ‘partners’ feels lacking.”

Stopping there, Jung-hyun smiled again. It was that same smile.

“So, how about ‘family’?”

“……Really?”

Shin Ho-jae remained dazed for a long time before he finally managed to find his voice.

“I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

His trembling eyelids finally welled up with moisture. Soon, Shin Ho-jae’s long eyelashes became clumped together, wet with tears.

“Don’t cry.”

Jung-hyun wiped the corners of his eyes with his hand. Shin Ho-jae gazed at Jung-hyun’s face for a long time with shimmering eyes.

Because tears continued to wet his cheeks, Jung-hyun had to wipe them away several times. In the process, Jung-hyun’s own eyes grew hot. It seemed Shin Ho-jae’s smiles were contagious, and now his tears were too. Fortunately, they only burned hot and didn’t fall as unsightly tears.

“Just in case, let me tell you—my mind didn’t change because you showed me a changed side of yourself. My feelings have always been the same, whether before I met you or now; it’s just that I’ve finally become able to accept those feelings.”

“…….”

“So don’t walk on eggshells around me, unable to say what you want to say or do what you want to do. Do as you please, Ho-jae. Because that’s the Ho-jae I liked.”

“……’Liked’?”

It was a question asked in a sobbing voice, asking why he used the past tense. While wiping the corners of his eyes, Jung-hyun suddenly pinched his soft cheek. Shin Ho-jae’s eyes widened. He had always wanted to try that, and now that he had, it felt great. So, it wouldn’t be bad to show this much of his true feelings.

“It is the past tense. Because now, I don’t just like you—I love you.”

Shin Ho-jae’s eyes flew open.

“It turns out that every reason I made a right choice in my life was Shin Ho-jae.”

“…….”

“So, I think choosing Shin Ho-jae is only natural.”

His expression wavered like water-soaked paper. He looked as if he were about to burst into tears again, so Jung-hyun put on a mock-stern face and held up the puck in his hand.

“Wait. I haven’t dropped the puck yet. I’ll do it now.”

At those words, Shin Ho-jae composed his expression with a serious face and leaned his upper body forward. Seeing him take a stance as if he were at a face-off, it seemed he intended to catch the puck with his hands. With a chuckle, Jung-hyun slowly raised the puck above his chest and then dropped it very slowly.

The moment the puck hit the ice, Shin Ho-jae suddenly wrapped his arms around Jung-hyun’s waist. And then, he skated across the ice just like that. The scenery moved too quickly. The air, cold as ice, felt like it was slapping against his skin. Unconsciously gripping Shin Ho-jae’s neck tightly, Jung-hyun shouted urgently.

“Wait…! Let me go!”

“Just a little longer. There’s a place I’ve really wanted to show you since a while ago.”

Fortunately, Shin Ho-jae stopped shortly after. Jung-hyun stepped onto the ice, shivering.

They were in the middle of Lake Louise. Jung-hyun slightly hunched his shoulders and looked into the distance. His white breath shattered along the wind.

There was a grandeur to it that was different from seeing it from afar, enough for him to understand why Shin Ho-jae wanted to show it to him. He thought Ho-jae had been enjoying it alone, but he had thought of him while looking at this wonderful scenery. A part of his heart fluttered, and finally, he was genuinely happy for those feelings.

He felt that he wanted to carve out the good parts of his daily life and give them to him. No, it wouldn’t have to be just the good parts. If it was something he wanted to share with him, whether it was sadness, misfortune, or anything else, he wanted to share it all.

Because that was the love Shin Ho-jae had taught him.

Their eyes met, and without anyone initiating first, their lips locked. The kiss continued for quite a long time.

Until the phone in Jung-hyun’s pocket, which had suddenly caught a signal, began to ring. Thanks to that, the two would eventually realize that all their conversation up until that point had been captured in the video—and that video was destined to be something Shin Ho-jae would watch every single night for a very long time.

｜Puck Drop｜ The End

– Puck Drop