#199

“Fuck, I don’t need it!”

I shouted out loud without realizing it.

Goosebumps broke out all over my body.

To think he had already designated me as the president of the possibility enthusiast gathering without even asking for my consent.

‘Most people without mental defense can become possibility enthusiasts just from those kinds of baseless rumors.’

I felt a sudden, urgent need to change my name.

What if Nyapoleon spread a false rumor that the newborn god ‘Fabio’ was actually the future Cult Leader of the mother cult and a possibility enthusiast?

I would have to listen to horrific prayers every single day.

[Pandemonium: What if I refuse to take that position?]

[Nyapoleon: Eventually, you will have no choice but to accept it. Because the entire world will end up embraced in Mother’s arms.]

‘Does that mean he thinks Mother God will win anyway?’

His confidence is incredible.

Does he not know the law that the bastard who is that arrogant always loses?

[Nyapoleon: Of course, it would be best if you returned before The ‘Stars’ open.]

[Pandemonium: …I won’t be able to win the game without making a contract. What do you plan to do while I’m gone?]

[Nyapoleon: I will enter into a contract as your proxy. And I will spread faith in you far and wide.]

‘A proxy….’

A thought suddenly flashed through my mind.

[Pandemonium: By any chance, is the firstborn’s name ‘Insanity’?]

To build faith in a being that is soon to arrive, there must be a name.

Is that the identity of ‘Insanity’?

[Nyapoleon: That is correct. To be precise, it is a prenatal name.]

[Pandemonium: If you’re waiting for a being that hasn’t arrived yet, fuck, can’t you just call him the Messiah? Or Maitreya. There are plenty of good words. Why the hell ‘Insanity’….]

[Nyapoleon: I thought it was a word that described you well. Do you not like it?]

‘Calling others madness when he’s the bigger psycho himself.’

[Pandemonium: You can’t change the Cult Leader Unit. You must know that, right?]

[Pandemonium: Or has the System changed since the game?]

[Nyapoleon: I will become one with you.]

“…What?”

[Pandemonium: What are you talking about?]

[Nyapoleon: We simply need to reshape the vessel. We will become twins so close that we cannot be separated. While you use everything of mine as you please, I will be asleep. In that way, I will gradually melt into you.]

[Pandemonium: What the….]

Since when did someone’s lifelong dream become being a Cordyceps fungus?

Don’t people usually dream of wealth, fame, or eternal life? Or world domination?

Of course, that bastard is a possibility enthusiast, but usually, the twisted desires of a possibility enthusiast are things like this:

I want to create a world where everyone has cat ears.

I want to know what it feels like to live as a nudibranch.

Well, I can understand that since those kinds of desires can only be achieved by believing in Mother God.

But wanting to become a grotesque form that cannot even feel desire?

[Pandemonium: You want to melt and disappear? There’s no way a human would want something like that.]

[Nyapoleon: That proposition was just disproven. Because I exist.]

[Pandemonium: If you want to disappear, can’t you just commit suicide? Why go through such a tedious process?]

[Nyapoleon: No, I am not disappearing. I am becoming a part of you, so that we may be together forever.]

‘Fuck….’

[Pandemonium: No matter how much I think about it, the madness seems to be in you. You saw that I have the mental defense trait, right? If you try something like that, you won’t become a part of me; you’ll end up as something like a facial ulcer on my elbow or knee. You wouldn’t want to end up like that, would you?]

[Pandemonium: Think about your career path again. How about just being the Cult Leader instead of a proxy? Normally, when the eldest son is away for some reason, the second son has to take over the role of the eldest.]

[Nyapoleon: Hmm. Do you mean my ego would remain and exist like a tumor? Unable to become a part of you? That is a bit….]

[Nyapoleon: …Thrilling! 🙂 It means I can watch over you from the closest possible place.]

[Pandemonium: Please, Nyapoleon. Forget being a Prime Apostle, fuck, a tumor? What can a tumor even do? I’d understand if you wanted to be a right-hand man.]

[Nyapoleon: If you wish, you could separate me from my tumor state and grant me a new physical body.]

[Nyapoleon: Then you would become my biological mother! :)]

“…….”

I was speechless for a moment.

When humans encounter something that far exceeds their understanding, their thoughts momentarily grind to a halt.

That was exactly my state.

[Nyapoleon: Oh dear, if that happens, the titles will be a bit confusing.]

[Nyapoleon: Since ‘Mother’ is the title used to call the Great Mother… I should call you, my biological mother, ‘Mommy’.]

[Nyapoleon: How does that sound?]

“Ugh….”

“N-NOOO!!”

Aaaagh!!

Die! Fuck! Die!

The combination of words was so physiologically repulsive that screams just played on loop in my head.

Fuck, if I were Loclem, I would have used Heavenly Punishment on him 150 times.

I need to fry him! Die! Disappear!

It was so unpleasant that I didn’t even want to continue the conversation.

If this had been a simple argument, I would have admitted defeat and never wanted to see him again.

‘…But closing the window won’t make anything disappear.’

I grit my teeth.

Even if I wanted to use Forced Persuasion, I had to engage in conversation first.

Enduring the goosebumps covering my entire body, I continued to type in the chat.

[Pandemonium: Nyapoleon. You must have been a human once too.]

[Pandemonium: On Earth, you had parents, siblings, friends… anyway, before you knew qwerasdf and before you did the Conclude, you must have had a life and an ego.]

[Pandemonium: Didn’t 10-year-old you have some kind of dream? I’m certain that dream wasn’t to become someone else’s tumor!]

[Pandemonium: Sincerely, unless you’re spitting out these horrific words just to cause me pain, something is seriously wrong with you.]

[Pandemonium: No one is born to become a part of someone else.]

[Nyapoleon: I understand why you feel repulsion.]

[Nyapoleon: In a world where the existence of God cannot be proven, concepts like inalienable human rights had to be forcibly created to respect one another. Even though they didn’t actually believe in them. Haha. I can feel that you are still struggling to adapt because you are bound by the mindset of the old world.]

[Nyapoleon: However, since you possess the insight to reject such habitual unpleasantness, I will tell you.]

[Nyapoleon: Everything I have said to you is sincere.]

[Nyapoleon: Mother can save us from the fundamental nihilism of humans, the despair of having no reason for being born.]

[Nyapoleon: I was created to find you, serve you, and care for you.]

[Nyapoleon: I have no desire to dare covet your position. I can only find joy in serving you. Therefore, you have no need to doubt me.]

[Nyapoleon: If everyone were this faithful to their role, meaningless things like wars would not happen. Sects wouldn’t split and fight among themselves. Doesn’t it feel like a much more peaceful and advanced world?]

Advanced my ass, it feels like we’ve gone back to the Stone Age.

We’ve returned to the Sumerian era where some humans were born to be slaves.

[Pandemonium: Fuck! You on Earth agreed to such a contract? No, that’s impossible. Fuck, you probably just signed it lightly thinking it was a game! This is an unfair contract! You’ve been brainwashed!]

[Pandemonium: I guarantee that if the you from your Earth days saw the current you, he’d scream in horror!]

[Nyapoleon: Do you dislike it that much that I am obedient to you?]

[Nyapoleon: That could be the case. There are always parents who find a troublemaker cuter than a child who listens well.]

[Nyapoleon: If you wish for me to be a suffering being—one who doubts you, longs to remain a separate entity, and feels a terrible sense of inferiority for not being chosen as the firstborn—then you may shape me as such.]

[Nyapoleon: I will be born exactly as you desire. :)]

“…Fuck, that is so creepy.”

“Seriously.”

Seeing Pandemonium recoil in disgust along with me, I suddenly felt relieved.

‘Right, at least some of his original self remains.’

He has the flaw of not viewing most people as human, but honestly, many humans are like that.

Pandemonium is, by all accounts, human.

Compared to him, Nyapoleon is….

‘Something like that shouldn’t exist.’

I think I understand why Mother God’s epithets are ‘Producer of Deformities’ or ‘One who Blasphemes the Order of Life.’

If I actually met someone who believed in Mother God’s Doctrine, I’d find them so repulsive that I wouldn’t even want to associate with them.

‘The heaven ruled by Mother God must be overflowing with slaves who feel joy while being exploited and beasts who dream of becoming meat.’

And if anyone felt disgust in that heaven, Nyapoleon would counter with, ‘Then do you wish to enslave those who feel pain while being exploited? While eating creatures that struggle because they don’t want to be eaten?’

The sense that such a thing is strange has completely vanished because his humanity is gone.

‘…I’d rather receive Heavenly Punishment and be trapped in the Hell of Order than live in a place like that thinking it’s heaven.’

I have to stop Mother God somehow.

But how?

Anger toward Loclem boiled up again.

‘Fuck, deal with that thing before exploring memories!’

[Nyapoleon: Now, while we were talking, I’ve already gained a certain amount of control.]

[Nyapoleon: Now, how will you respond?]

I shifted my gaze.

The ‘arms’ were slowly losing their shape.

They weren’t simply collapsing; a glistening sheen appeared on the surface, and something sticky began to form.

As if they were becoming slugs….

‘…No.’

The adult of ledea was trying to turn into something completely different.

Unless it was a hive, unless it was ‘Columba,’ there was no way it would follow my words.

If this escaped my control….

‘Fuck.’

[Pandemonium: If you truly care for me that much,]

[Pandemonium: then why are you interfering with what I’m trying to do right now?]

[Pandemonium: You said I’m the firstborn.]

[Pandemonium: Then shouldn’t you cooperate with me unconditionally?]

[Nyapoleon: Because you are not the firstborn yet. If you returned right now, I would follow your words.]

[Nyapoleon: Besides, what you’re doing now isn’t for Mother, is it?]

[Pandemonium: Not for Mother?]

[Pandemonium: You just didn’t realize it because your intelligence is low!]

[Pandemonium: I was draining the order points.]

[Pandemonium: I intended to bankrupt Order.]

[Nyapoleon: So that was the purpose. I understand.]

[Nyapoleon: However, even if Order loses the massive amount of points it has accumulated, that will only be effective for this brief moment while the emergency life-saving device is active.]

[Nyapoleon: Even if you temporarily make the order points zero, in the next turn, they will earn about ten times the points all players can gather at once. Of course, it will be a mere pittance compared to what they’ve accumulated so far. Still, it won’t be a fatal blow to Order.]

[Nyapoleon: Thinking of it that way, wouldn’t it be a greater blow to Order if I took over this ‘Ledeia’ and devoured as many people as possible? :)]

‘Ugh….’

Think.

How can I refute this?

[Pandemonium: We can just do both! Drain the points first, and then take over Ledeia.]

[Nyapoleon: ‘Fabio’. You must always be honest with Mother.]

[Nyapoleon: It is a bit disappointing to see you try to make excuses without revealing your true objective. 🙁 ]