#081

Pretend to date?

With Athanas?

What kind of horrific suggestion is this!

“Th-that kind of thing wouldn’t fool anyone! You need a more plausible partner for it to work!”

“And what exactly do you mean by a plausible partner?”

“Someone with more social interaction, someone beautiful… in short, someone anyone would look at and think, ‘I can see why they fell in love’!”

“…Do you believe you are not such a person?”

“Of course! It is impossible—and should never happen—for you to fall in love with me!”

Athanas remained silent for a moment, then let out a small sigh.

“In that case, isn’t that even better?”

Just as I opened my eyes wide to retort, Athanas continued his nonsense in a calm tone.

“Our current goal is to attract the attention of the Watched Ones. The more impossible the scenario, the more effective it will be, won’t it?”

My mouth hung open, then slowly closed.

‘…I can’t argue with that.’

If the person Athanas secretly admired were some noble lady, it would be surprising and interesting, but not shocking.

However, a Great Diving Moth with a charm stat of 30 is a different story.

‘The aggro would be insane.’

Except for the various situations I didn’t even want to imagine, Athanas’s proposal was a very rational and efficient method. And to Athanas, the fact that I am a ‘man’ probably wasn’t a major concern anyway….

‘But it’s a major concern to me.’

I gnawed on my lip. I knew we didn’t actually have to date; we just had to pretend. I hadn’t seen any couples openly displaying affection within the Order, so excessive physical contact wouldn’t be necessary to feign a relationship. Linking arms or holding hands tenderly would be enough. Others would fill in the rest with their imaginations.

The more I thought about it, the simpler it seemed. Rationally, the right move was to agree immediately. However….

‘…I’m seriously going crazy.’

I covered my mouth with my hand. An unpleasant, tingling sensation crawled up from deep inside me.

‘Why can’t I just say yes?’

What was the big deal? Hadn’t I always thought that heteronormative love was nothing more than the world’s most overrated ‘temporary status ailment’? I couldn’t understand why I felt so uncomfortable at the thought of pretending to be lovers.

‘It’s not like I’m debating whether or not to get a couple’s discount; I’m actually agonizing over this while the world might end. I’m truly a legend.’

“…If it is truly too difficult, you may act as if you didn’t hear me. I have no wish to distress you. We shall seek another way.”

“No, I’ll do it!”

I answered quickly.

I really didn’t want to pretend to date, but I wanted it even less to be so irrational as to reject an efficient method simply because I didn’t feel like doing it.

‘I can’t afford to be stupid when my stats are already trash.’

“Will you be alright?”

“…I’ll try my best.”

If there was one thing I was worried about, it was that I had absolutely no talent for acting.

Of course, through my professional life, I had become reasonably good at putting on ‘sincere’ expressions and tones appropriate for the time and situation, but that was merely a matter of pulling out ‘emotions’ I already possessed.

Even if I were faced with food I hated, I could pretend to salivate if I recalled the feeling of eating something I loved. But if a person had never tasted anything delicious in their entire life, how could they ‘pretend it tastes good’?

“Um… there’s one thing I want to ask.”

As I met his eyes, Athanas naturally relaxed his facial muscles and gave me a smile. It was the kind of smile that made me feel instinctively bashful just by looking at it.

‘…His facial acting is seriously top-tier.’

“What is it you are curious about?”

“How are you… so good at acting?”

Perhaps it was a question that was difficult to answer immediately, as Athanas remained silent. I continued awkwardly.

“I have absolutely no confidence in my acting.”

“…Is that so?”

“I can pretend to like food I hate, or pretend to be glad to do something I’m reluctant to do, but sending a gaze full of love to someone I don’t love… I have no idea how to do that. I’d have to have experienced love to pretend at it, but I just can’t get a feel for it.”

“…….”

“Athanas, what do you think about when you look at me?”

After a long pause, Athanas replied.

“…When I am looking at you, I am thinking of you.”

‘Does that mean he can act without having to imagine something else?’

Is this… talent?

I was genuinely impressed.

“Then how did you practice those expressions and that look in your eyes?”

“…I have never practiced them separately.”

‘So he’s just a genius.’

They say geniuses are terrible at teaching others….

Seeing the slightly troubled expression on his face after my question, he seemed to be thinking something like, ‘Why is that not possible?’

‘I guess I’ll just have to figure it out on my own.’

Love….

Love, huh.

How do people in love behave?

‘The guys I’ve seen usually act like they’ve left their brains behind.’

“…Come to think of it, it might not be a big problem if I act a bit awkwardly.”

Since Athanas acted so well, no matter how bad my acting was, there was a high possibility that the awkwardness would be perceived as behavior stemming from being too fluttery.

“The Watched Ones may know a lot about you, but they know nothing about me. Even if I act a bit strange, they’ll probably just think I’ve become a fool because I’m in front of someone I love.”

‘As long as I don’t run into someone like Tartarus.’

“L-let’s discuss other things first. Let’s think about the specifics of how to do it later.”

I pushed Athanas away with both hands.

If we discussed the specifics of the ‘Operation to Press the Players’ Panic Buttons’ right now, my SAN value would definitely hit rock bottom.

“There is a possibility that there will be no reaction even after doing all this. We should think of other ways to obtain clues.”

With less than 50 days remaining until The ‘Stars’ open, we couldn’t afford to just drop bait and wait for someone to bite.

“I’ve decided to go find Adelaide, so Athanas, you….”

I trailed off.

Aside from Adelaide, all the main characters of ‘Die Heretic!’ were enemies.

Among them, the person I could meet in the Capital Church right now was….

“…Have you ever met Bishop Andrea?”

The boss of the first chapter.

A madman who believed that killing all the sick was the only way to save Order.

“I remember that the Bishop who presided over the mass for the sick in my dreams was named Andrea. However, I have never encountered him in reality. Is he also someone who saved Order, like myself?”

“No, he committed a terrible crime and met his end by becoming a grotesque monster. Athanas, you were the one who condemned him.”

Athanas seemed speechless for a moment.

“…What was the terrible crime he committed?”

“He gathered all the sick, locked them in a Branch Office, and lit fires to make them die of suffocation. He believed that the Church being paralyzed by caring for the sick was exactly what the ‘Plague God’ wanted, so he thought someone had to kill them for the sake of Order.”

“…Truly atrocious.”

I nodded silently.

What Andrea did was truly horrific, atrocious, and a massacre that should never have happened. However, it was clear that without that massacre, ‘Heretic Slayer’ could not have even begun.

If the sick had survived, Athanas would have had to continue clearing corpses instead of becoming a Heretic Inquisitor. The Saintess would likely have died after continuously consuming her lifespan by pouring all her divine power into purifying the water for the sick to drink.

That didn’t mean Andrea was right, but….

‘…When I thought it was just a game, I just thought the scenario writer was short-sighted.’

Since a massacre can never be justified for any reason, Andrea, who committed such a sin, was turned into a horrific monster to be punished even in death. On the other hand, ‘Saintess Adelaide,’ who did nothing during that incident, remains a flawless being.

This is because the crime was entirely Andrea’s unilateral decision. The Saintess was merely the merciful being who bestowed the ‘Blessing of Condemnation’ upon Andrea for committing such a sin.

If Andrea hadn’t existed, Adelaide would have ended up repeating actions that brought about the fall of Order, but no one says Andrea’s actions were necessary. No one mourns Andrea’s death….

If ‘Die Heretic!’ were fiction, Andrea was a typical scapegoat character created for the sake of convenient plot progression.

‘But this world is not fiction.’

“…I believe there is sufficient reason to meet him. After all, he was a man who thought of Order until the very end.”

‘And I need to check if the enemies, not just the allies, have received Revelations.’

“I want to do some research first. What position Bishop Andrea currently holds, what his reputation is like…. After that, let’s figure out together how we can meet him naturally.”

“Understood.”

‘And something else to investigate….’

I suddenly recalled the warning I had heard repeatedly.

“…By any chance, do you know about the Lab Director?”

“Are you referring to Ledeia’s apostle?”

Athanas’s expression became a bit serious.

“…Is the Lab Director also one of the sinners I executed?”

“No, that’s unlikely.”

Because Ledeia and her apostles were wiped out before Athanas became a Heretic Inquisitor. The Lab Director was never mentioned, but they likely died then as well.

I continued.

“I heard the Lab Director was very interested in divinities outside of Order. I wondered if those rumors started because Ledeia’s side was independently investigating Othergods.”

‘I don’t know why the Saintess let that happen, though….’

“…Above all, I was warned that if it’s discovered that I am a being outside of Order, the Lab Director would want to study me. So, I think there’s a high probability they have clues about other Watched Ones. Perhaps they’ve already studied them. However….”

As I spoke, a chill ran through me, and I shuddered.

“From my position as someone who has not received the Blessing of Order, Ledeia’s apostle is someone I absolutely, positively do not want to meet.”

Chapter 82