#041

Ex… husband?

Why is an ex-husband in the Order?

No, more importantly, did they get divorced after marriage? And they’re on good terms even after the divorce?

“To be precise, he is someone I was married to before my conversion.”

“That is correct. Since both Lady Casimir and I received Ordination, all worldly vows made prior to that have vanished.”

‘Ah… so a couple entered the religion and their marriage was treated as if it never happened…’

I’ve seen stories like that in Buddhist folklore. There are various versions of stories where both husband and wife hear the dharma, attain enlightenment, and take the vows.

‘Well, if they both became clergy and treat each other as fellow clergy, it makes sense that they’re this cool with each other…’

“However, even without such a vow, my heart belongs entirely to Lady Casimir.”

‘…Huh?’

They still love each other?

No, right. I was told that romance isn’t forbidden here. Not being married but living as lifelong lovers is, well, legal according to the Doctrine…

‘But still, if you’ve received Ordination, shouldn’t God be first and the wife be second?’

“Elamin. You must remember that you are now one who serves Loclem.”

“Yes, of course. How could I not worship the Lord? For He is the heaven that Lady Casimir serves.”

“You always see the Lord only through me.”

“Because you are my heaven, Lady Casimir.”

‘Wow… that’s how he says “I live without thinking.”‘

“…Even if my heaven is not you, and even if you are not that important to me?”

“Lady Casimir. I do not serve you because you love me. Even if you did not give me a single piece of your heart, I would serve you with the same devotion. Even a Lady Casimir who considers me unimportant is someone I will gladly revere, and this heart of mine will never change.”

“How pitiful.”

“…What is pitiful?”

“I mean it is pitiful because the opportunity to revere a Casimir who considers you unimportant will never come to you in your entire life.”

“Does that mean…?”

“You are infinitely important to me. I intend to cherish you in the future as well. This heart of mine will not change either.”

“……! Lady Casimir!”

‘Ugh…’

Cringe…

No, putting the dialogue aside, the sight of a bearded middle-aged man blushing with tears in his eyes is physiologically unpleasant.

‘Please let go of me and go be lovey-dovey somewhere else…’

If Casimir weren’t still gripping my shoulder, I would have backed away about thirty steps to get far away from here.

‘What on earth was the Saintess thinking, entrusting me to a person who plans to go be lovey-dovey with her husband? Did she not think my tasks would be pushed to the back burner by this nonsense?’

Unless she doesn’t care what happens to me…

‘…Now that I think about it, she probably doesn’t care, right?’

Having been momentarily annoyed, I regained my composure quickly as I realized my position.

I’m not some important Unit; among the sixteen players, I’m the most harmless—or to put it bluntly, the most useless guy.

‘When I played as Mother God, if I found a guy with stats and traits like this, I’d castrate him on the spot, saying he was hindering the evolution of humanity…’

Compared to that, the Saintess’s current treatment is very humanitarian, considerate, and even progressive.

Of course, I did that because I thought it was a game. In reality, I absolutely do not agree with terrible ideologies like eugenics. I only tried a eugenics concept play because Mother God is the Othergod of evolution.

And I only castrated them; I didn’t kill them.

Anyway.

‘Humans really adapt quickly. Just a few hours ago, I was trembling, thinking I was about to die.’

And now, instead of being moved that a three-star high-and-mighty person is personally guiding me, I’m thinking about complaining that they aren’t focusing on me.

The old saying that a person rescued from drowning asks for their bundle of belongings is absolutely true.

‘I need to know my place.’

I reminded myself again. This person is a three-star; they are not someone I dare complain about…

“So, this child… Fabio. How did he decide to become a Chanter?”

“Guess.”

‘What do you mean “guess”?’

Dammit, if you’re a three-star, act like a three-star.

“Seeing as Lady Casimir brought him here personally…”

‘The Knight Commander of the Inquisition brought him personally, so he’s probably an ex-heretic. What else could it be?’

“…Is he perhaps a new lover?”

‘What?’

My jaw dropped.

‘Of all the jokes, why such a dog-like joke?’

Is this some kind of cockroach-like behavior, checking for rivals just by looking at me?

No, though there are many people who use completely unrelated people as supporting characters in their own romance movie…

“That’s right. Cute, isn’t he?”

Casimir agreed nonchalantly and rested her chin on my left shoulder.

“Don’t be jealous and teach him well. I’m going to make him my fourth husband.”

‘Wait, fourth? Who are the second and third?’

No, that’s not the important part right now.

‘Don’t start an interactive theater play without my consent…!’

“Telling me not to be jealous… you ask too much of me. But I will try my best. Because I do not wish to be hated by Lady Casimir.”

“Me? Hate you? You’re talking nonsense. You are always my first. My Elamin. If you were to be jealous, I would find your jealousy cute.”

“Lady Casimir…”

‘Shit, I didn’t think I’d hear anything worse than Ter’s rambling about Adna.’

This is at a level where I should receive compensation for mental damages.

Fortunately, I have a lot of experience with these kinds of tasteless pranks.

‘This only stops if you get dead serious.’

If it were just Casimir, it would be one thing. But if one more person joined in and played along, this tedious farce could continue forever.

“U-um, Commander Casimir?”

“Yes, Fabio?”

“…I know you’re joking, but I’m a bit—no, a lot—uncomfortable. Please stop now.”

“Hmm? Joking? What do you mean? Are you jealous because I said you weren’t the first?”

‘Dammit, don’t hold my chin with two fingers.’

As my expression grew increasingly sour, Casimir chuckled and let me go.

“Seeing as you hate it this much, I shouldn’t keep teasing you. I’ll stop here.”

“…Thank you.”

“Pardon? Was it a joke?”

‘Why is that Elamin guy widening his eyes again?’

I thought he was playing along because he was used to Casimir making those kinds of jokes.

“The part about the new lover was a complete joke. He has a bit of a complicated story… it’s classified, so I can’t tell you everything. Bringing him here was an order from above.”

“Ah… I see. I thought you had just brought someone you took a liking to from somewhere.”

‘”Again”?’

Has she brought someone she took a liking to before?

Could it be that the second and third husbands aren’t jokes, but actually exist?

“Well, if we had met under different circumstances, perhaps I would have.”

What do you mean “perhaps I would have”?

If you swap the genders, this is a truly insane situation. A middle-aged male Inquisitor who brings a village girl he likes, makes her a nun, and actually keeps her as his concubine…

‘Is it okay for a bastard like that to exist in a world where gods actually exist?’

Of course, it might not have been a kidnapping, but rather the village girl thinking she couldn’t miss the chance because the Inquisitor was too handsome, crying and clinging to him to be his concubine. Still, isn’t it absurd to accept that after becoming a member of the clergy?

‘That’s why Loclem should have forbidden romance in the first place…’

“Anyway, Elamin. Get some clothes for him to change into.”

“Yes. What color Pasia should I bring?”

“The same blue.”

Pasia? What is that now?

I quickly scanned Elamin’s attire. The only thing that could be called blue was a piece of cloth, like a tasseled muffler, wrapped around his waist.

‘Is that cloth waistband thing a Pasia?’

It looks a bit like the waistbands the constables wear in historical dramas.

‘But why did she specifically ask about the color?’

Usually, colors symbolize rank, don’t they?

Just as crimson symbolizes a cardinal in Catholicism, maybe blue is for Chanters? Or maybe each color means something else?

‘Maybe blue means they’re from a heretic background…’

While I was pondering, I saw Casimir wrap her arm around Elamin’s waist and whisper something in his ear, continuing their lovey-dovey nonsense.

‘Do that when there are no people around.’

Or at least give me a book to read.

It’s awkward to just stand here facing away…

“Fabio.”

“Ah, yes.”

“Do you like baths?”

“Huh? Yes, I do.”

“Is that so? That’s a relief.”

‘What’s a relief about that?’

“Since I am from the desert, the act of immersing my body in water felt very strange and peculiar until I received Baptism. I asked just in case.”

‘Did she ask just in case because I’m an existence outside the Order?’

More importantly, a bath.

Is it because the Plague God hasn’t arrived yet?

There are still bathhouses left in the Dark Realm.

‘In “Die Heretic!”, it was overflowing with people who hadn’t washed in years.’

Because the [Plague God] spread a disease where one became infected just by skin touching contaminated water, Loclem issued a decree not to wash unless using water provided by the Church.

But in a situation where drinking water was so scarce that people drank contaminated water and became mutants, who would dare use purified water to wash their bodies?

So in “Die Heretic!”, everyone—whether clergy, serf, or noble—was filthy.

‘I hope the crazy bastard who didn’t give up on the game isn’t an apostle of the Plague God…’

I really do not want to live in a truly dirty and disgusting medieval era.

“If you don’t mind, how about taking a bath before changing into new clothes?”

‘A bath!’

At Elamin’s suggestion, I felt my modern-day ego get excited.

‘How long has it been since my last bath!’

I only realized how luxurious it was to soak in warm water after possessing a serf.

Having someone continuously pour hot water to maintain the temperature?

That was a luxury only those with several servants could enjoy.

“I’d love to!”

“Then I shall guide you to the bathhouse.”

As I followed Elamin, I tried not to get my hopes up too much.

Like the case with the muscle pain treatment, as long as there was a possibility that these people called something strange a “bath,” I couldn’t be completely relieved.

Fortunately, however, the bathhouse was indeed a bathhouse.

However, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu in the bathhouse.

It was a structure I felt I’d seen somewhere before…

“You can take off your clothes inside, so you can just come in.”

In a way, the structure wasn’t much different from a modern public bath, but there was a sense of déjà vu that couldn’t be explained by that.

‘Since it’s a fairly large building, was it used for another purpose after bathing was banned?’

I’m sure this is a place I’ve seen in “Die Heretic!”…

“This is a private bath that can be used alone.”

‘…Ah.’

“Since it’s your first day at the Order, I thought this would be more comfortable than the public bath…”

As I couldn’t take my eyes off the marble table, Elamin spoke.

“Ah, this marble bed is for receiving massages and such. Would you like to try one?”

I quickly shook my head.

“Is that so? They say it feels good and relieves fatigue. Please try it sometime later.”

No.

Absolutely not.

No, it’s not that I hate massages; I hate getting a massage there.

The moment I saw that ‘bed,’ I remembered where this place was.

‘Shit, this is the [Clinic]…’

And this was the operating room.

Some quack would tie a patient to that marble bed and amputate limbs without any anesthesia.

Because they were in pain and agitated, blood would spray every time they struggled…

In “Die Heretic!”, a clinic was a place where every wall was stained with dried blood, patients screamed, and quacks in dark red gowns wandered around with hollow eyes.

‘But this place was originally a bathhouse…’

Seeing a place with an atmosphere so different from what I saw in the game made it feel real all over again.

‘The world really can turn into hell in an instant.’

When playing as the Plague God, the standard rule was to start by bringing down the Goddess of Healing, and I’ve come to realize what that truly meant.

‘Were there really no doctors in the Empire?’

When you think about it, it’s only natural.

If the Goddess of Healing can cure all diseases, who would go through the trouble of learning medicine?

Even if a patient has terminal liver cancer, a healing priest—who doesn’t even know what liver cancer is—roughly cuts open the belly and inserts a Sacred Vessel of Ledeia, and a miracle occurs where maggots eat away the cancer and transform it into new liver tissue. I’d quit being a doctor too.

‘But then everything went south after the Goddess of Healing died.’

In a situation where the Empire’s medical technology was at best emergency first aid to keep someone alive until they reached a healing priest, they had to treat not only an endless stream of plague patients but also wounded soldiers?

Who would take on such a job?

‘…So that’s why the patients screamed, “You dog-like heretic bastard!” when they were in pain.’

Because the only people who had encountered anything resembling medicine in the Empire would have been those who were once heretics.

Then the exhausted quack would curse back, saying, “Fuck, I got baptized too.”

It must have been unfair from the quack’s perspective as well. They weren’t doctors; they just knew what a doctor was, yet they were suddenly thrust into the role of treating patients.

My understanding of the game’s background suddenly deepened.

‘”Die Heretic!” was an apocalypse story…’

Right now, the Capital Church is prosperous enough that a serf can fill a tub with heated water just to get clean and then dump it out after washing…

“If you pull that string, more hot water will be added, so please stay as long as you like before coming out.”

“…Yes.”

‘I feel strange.’

How much do the Order and the Saintess know?

Actually, although I called the situation in “Die Heretic!” an apocalypse, it was nothing compared to the bizarre atrocities committed by Conclude players…

42 – Chapter 42