#027

Objectively speaking, Fabio would seem like nothing more than a serf who happened to have an unusual passion for learning.

‘I’ve never flaunted the knowledge of a modern person…’

If I had to pick something, the fact that he can perform Silent Reading might be somewhat special in a primitive medieval era.

But that wouldn’t be enough for people to treat him with such grandiosity, as if he were [one destined for special deeds]…

‘It seems they saw another [Watched One] and mistakenly assumed that all [Watched Ones] are special beings.’

This is a cognitive error stemming from typical representativeness bias.

‘It’s like seeing athletes who won medals and thinking, [Only world-class professional athletes can become national representatives].’

But what people overlook is that national representatives can emerge even from countries with a total population of fewer than ten thousand.

In other words, plenty of people who have no chance of winning a medal and are just happy to participate can still be “national representatives.”

‘Fabio… his stats are such that he might be picked for odd jobs in the very early game, but later on, they wouldn’t even let him join the church because the cost of Baptism would be a waste.’

Since Conclude is not a system where you level up by gaining experience like an RPG, the initial stats and talent traits are everything.

In that sense, Fabio, who doesn’t even have a talent trait, is—to put it nicely—an ordinary person, and to put it bluntly, someone who, even if eaten by Mother God, would be excreted as waste because he lacks the value to be reborn.

‘Anyway, if there is such a thing as [one destined for more special deeds], it’s definitely not me.’

If the Order expects something great from me, I have no choice but to disappoint them.

“…I’m sure such people exist. Like Saintess Pell or Apostle Adna; they are such outstanding beings that even I, who cannot perceive divine power, find it hard not to notice their specialness.”

Adna stared at me as if she had heard something strange.

“…What part of me felt special?”

“What do you mean by what part…?”

“Fabio, you haven’t seen me fight, you haven’t heard of my achievements, and we haven’t spoken for long. That means you judged me to be special based solely on a first impression… Is there something about me that is so obvious it can be recognized at a glance?”

‘Look in a mirror.’

Has her standard for beauty become extremely distorted because she spends so much time with the Saintess?

If this were a gacha game, her SSR-tier looks are the kind that would make the gaming community erupt the moment a pickup notice is posted and bring back players who had quit.

“W-well, since I haven’t received the Blessing of Order and cannot even sense divine power, I don’t know what others see when they look at Apostle Adna…”

I continued, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

“What I saw in you, Lady Adna… is your dazzlingly beautiful appearance.”

“…What?”

“It might be the foolish thought of an uneducated man, but the moment I saw Apostle Adna, I thought that if someone were this beautiful, God must have surely entrusted them with an important task.”

‘Important characters in a story usually have high-effort designs… so conversely, if someone with a high-effort design appears, you can tell they’re an important character.’

“…You think I am beautiful?”

‘Are all these Apostles “answer-seekers” who want a specific response?’

“Yes. Surely you’ve heard that before…”

“…Before I became an apostle, I had not.”

“What? Then what did people usually say when they saw your face, Lady Adna?”

“I believe I heard most often that I had a displeasing face, one that made it impossible to tell what I was thinking.”

I mean, who says that to a person…?

Has the concept of “sugarcoating things so the other person isn’t hurt” not been invented yet in this primitive Medieval-land?

“…Do you not find me displeasing?”

“Pardon?”

‘Now a real beauty is hitting me with the “low self-esteem beauty” cliché.’

This is like some dating sim…

Of course, I am well aware that this world is not a dating sim.

Even if I speak well here, it will only slightly increase human affinity; a beautiful girl isn’t going to fall in love with me over a single sentence.

‘Actually, that’s better.’

If this were a dating sim, I would have to be extremely careful with affinity grinding.

In dating sims, trying to raise affinity with everyone often leads to a bad ending.

Nor is it safe to pick one person and grind affinity to see their ending.

‘Because you never know if the true ending with that character will be a good ending or a Merrybad Ending.’

In a reality with no save-and-load, how could I go all-in with all my assets, my life, and my soul on a single person?

‘Affinity grinding is always better in larger quantities.’

“Displeasing? On the contrary, I thought I was envious!”

“Envious?”

“Yes. I thought it would be a great advantage if my thoughts and emotions didn’t show on my face, just like the Apostle’s.”

Isn’t a poker face full of advantages?

For one, it’s great for playing poker.

And I’m envious of the fact that the urge to punch a wall at night would be greatly reduced.

“For example… if you were in my situation earlier, Lady Adna, you wouldn’t have wailed as pathetically as I did.”

“…Why is that an advantage?”

“W-well, I didn’t want to do that, but I just couldn’t control it?”

“That is why it felt more sincere.”

Adna continued, maintaining a perfect expressionless face.

“What if you felt fear but it didn’t show on your face at all? Would the Saintess have comforted you so kindly? Would she have been convinced of your innocence so quickly? Fabio. Expressing your emotions at that moment was, in the end, the best choice for you.”

‘She’s basically saying she could tell I was a total pushover just by watching me blubber…’

“I do not hide my emotions on purpose; I simply cannot express them. To be in such agony that I want to cry, yet have no tears fall, is absolutely nothing to be envious of.”

At Adna’s firm words, I broke into a cold sweat inwardly.

‘…I misspoke.’

I didn’t expect her to view it not as a simple complex, but as a “disability”…

‘My affinity must have plummeted with that last comment.’

It’s fine to tell someone who is insecure about having long arms that look like a monkey’s, “Aren’t long arms more charming? I’m envious!”

But telling someone who is missing an arm, “Aren’t there many advantages to missing an arm? You’d weigh less! I’m so envious!” is…

‘A legendary blunder…’

“Furthermore, no matter how well you speak, the effect will be halved if your expression conveys no emotion. So, you need not make up non-existent advantages just to comfort me.”

“Make them up? I’m being completely sincere…”

‘Damn it, brain, come up with a good idea quickly.’

If I didn’t think of a truly convincing advantage, I was about to become some rude bastard who speaks without thinking.

‘Advantages of an expressionless face, advantages of an expressionless face, advantages of an expressionless face…’

I put on a slightly hurt expression to buy some time.

“I know. Unlike Lady Adna, I am in a position of being watched by a being beyond the stars. Since I must constantly prove that I harbor no wicked thoughts and that I sincerely follow Order, it is beneficial for me to be transparent.”

“No, that is not what I meant…”

“But if I weren’t in such a position, if I had the opportunity to become a member who protects Order… I would have been truly, sincerely envious of Lady Adna.”

“…Why?”

I paused for a moment before speaking.

“Because no matter how fearful or difficult the situation, Lady Adna would not look that way!”

“…Is that an advantage?”

“Of course it is! Especially since Apostle Adna is the Apostle of the [Unshakable Iron Wall], right? Doesn’t that mean your abilities shine most when you have to block an enemy’s attack, particularly in a siege where you are surrounded by enemies?”

“…That is true.”

“In such a situation, what if a commander like me, who cannot hide his emotions, were in charge? The soldiers would lose all morale the moment they saw the look of despair on my face. Not only that, the enemy would realize we are on the defensive just by looking at my expression, and their momentum would surge.”

I continued, not giving Adna a chance to respond.

“But if Apostle Adna were there! No matter how desperate the situation, people would feel reassured seeing your unchanging demeanor!”

‘First, speak with a voice full of conviction!’

“And! The enemies would be confused, unable to tell how much strength you have left because you remain unchanged! Even if they are winning, if the defenders’ spirit doesn’t break, wouldn’t they hesitate to attack, wondering if they’ve fallen into a trap or if there’s another hidden move?”

‘Then, blur it over with a plausible hypothesis, even without experience or evidence!’

This is a skill I often used when giving a presentation I wasn’t prepared for.

As long as your attitude is confident, even if you spout nonsense, the listener will hesitate for a moment, thinking, ‘Wait, am I the one who’s wrong?’

‘Of course, if they think about it, they’ll quickly realize it’s just baseless headcanon…’

“…That might be possible.”

‘Huh?’

“Indeed, I have heard it said that even when I was losing, my expression did not change, leading some to believe I was hiding a trump card.”

Adna unconsciously stroked her chin, as if lost in thought.

“On a battlefield where defeat is not permitted even when pushed back… such a trait could indeed be an advantage.”

‘This actually worked?’

“Yes! Of course! The best shield is naturally one that blocks any attack, but even such a shield can break. In that case, wouldn’t a shield that shows no cracks until the moment it shatters be the most magnificent shield of all?”

“I suppose…”

“When people know the goal is close, they find hope, and with hope, they can endure. But Lady Adna does not give such hope! You are the very definition of an iron wall! One who breaks the enemy’s will and makes them give up! A true! Final Guardian!”

“…But I am too lacking to hear such words.”

“What? What are you talking about! The Lord Himself gave you the title of the Unshakable Iron Wall, didn’t He? That means in the Lord’s eyes, you are someone fully capable of fulfilling that role! He must have seen the potential for you to become such a being! For the Lord sees further than anyone else!”

‘Unblockable move: Any rebuttal is blasphemy!’

“And! Wouldn’t a Guardian’s achievements only accumulate when we are the ones being attacked? If you feel lacking now, I believe it is not because of your lack of capability, but because the Order Sect is so powerful that you’ve had no opportunity to step forward!”

‘A shift in perspective!’

Heroes appear in times of chaos.

If you flip this premise, it becomes: ‘If it is not a time of chaos, heroes do not appear.’

‘Therefore, the reason you aren’t a hero yet is because it’s not a time of chaos!’

“When things are at their darkest and most desperate, how could I not be envious of a being that people can trust and rely on, believing they will never collapse?”

Adna looked at me silently without answering.

‘Damn, I really can’t tell what she’s thinking.’

Because she has no expression, it feels like she’s just staring at me with a deadpan face.

I feel like she’s thinking, ‘This guy is really overdoing it, he needs to stop while he’s ahead.’

“U-um, Lady Adna?”

“…Why are you envious? You are weak.”

“Pardon?”

I froze for a moment at a response that was far outside my list of expected answers.

‘What kind of logical leap leads to that answer here?’

I ran my brain at full capacity to infer the omitted context.

I said I was envious of the [expressionless face] which is very helpful for a Guardian!

But I am weak!

A weak person cannot be a Guardian!

Therefore, there is no situation where an [expressionless face] would be helpful to me!

Thus, my envy of an [expressionless face] is meaningless!

Is that… the logic?

‘Isn’t she omitting way too much from her speech?’

“W-well, can’t one still be envious…?”

“No. Do not even be envious of things that do not suit you.”

Adna placed a hand on my shoulder and continued.

“Especially a human like you; do not even dream of overstepping your station, and live content with what you were born with.”

I widened my eyes in shock at the bluntness of her words.

‘Is this… a caste society?’

Born a serf, die a serf?

If you even think about picking up a pitchfork, Order collapses and society falls into chaos?

Is that how it is?

“You cannot become like me, nor do you need to.”

‘Well, obviously. Our unit costs probably differ by ten thousand times.’

Of course, I have no great regrets about Fabio’s incompetence.

With great power comes great responsibility.

‘Which means if I’m weak, I don’t have to fight.’

In this primitive era where one must fight with cold weapons rather than guns, I had absolutely no intention of honing my combat skills.

Just look at ‘Die Heretic!’.

‘Athanas is always drenched in blood.’

Because when you pierce and slice through someone’s flesh and bone, blood splatters…

Especially the blood spray that stains the screen when dealing a fatal blow is truly shocking.

At least in a game, you can set ‘Blood Effects: Low’. But this is reality…

When blood splatters, you’d feel not just the vivid color, but the smell and the temperature.

‘Just imagining it is gruesome.’

However, since I had just established my character as a ‘naive serf who wants to learn everything diligently (and especially admires Holy Knights),’ simply accepting this would be a character collapse. So, I pretended to be disappointed.

“Still, if I am content and stop moving forward, I will remain a weak, powerless, and ignorant person forever.”

“What is wrong with that?”

‘…Huh?’

“Is there a reason you want to become strong?”

“Isn’t it… better to be strong than weak? You can do more things…”

“Once you become strong, what do you intend to do?”

I felt the grip of the hand on my shoulder tighten.

“I-I’m not trying to do anything in particular…”

At that moment, I remembered my position.

‘Right, I’m a prospective heretic.’

What I just said was no different from a defector saying, “I’m envious of your marksmanship. I want to be good at shooting guns too,” right in front of an intelligence agent.

“I… I just want to be helpful… to more people.”

“……”

“W-well, if I’m strong! Like! Even if wild animals enter the fields, I could easily chase them away! If I’m strong, I can clear more land…!”

Adna looked at me very, very still, without even blinking.

‘Now I see why other people called her face displeasing.’

“There are many ways to be helpful.”

“T-that’s true.”

“Being weak… can also be helpful.”

“I-is that so?”

“If there is no object to protect, a Guardian cannot be called a Guardian. Therefore, there is meaning in your weakness.”

‘Wow, she told me not to make up non-existent advantages, yet she’s just throwing out random nonsense.’

Telling me that the poor-relief system has meaning because beggars like me exist… and presenting it as an advantage?

“Furthermore, wild animals rarely invade the Capital Church, and if they do, the guards handle it. Also, there is no land here that you need to exert yourself to clear.”

“I see. Since I’m from a serf background, those were the only examples that came to mind…”

“Therefore, do not even think about changing while you are here.”

Hearing Adna’s “warning,” I gulped.

‘Basically, a prospective heretic should just be grateful for being kept alive and live as a mindless pig without any ambition for the rest of his life.’

Chapter 28