By Zephyria 
When you’ve known someone for fifteen years, it’s only natural for the relationship to fade as each person enters society and forms other connections. However, because they attended the same high school, the same university, and now worked at the same company—and had spent the last four years in a sort of strange cohabitation—their bond had remained intact without a single crisis.
Playing pranks, badmouthing annoying bosses, and chatting about trivial daily matters.
“Song-i Song-i, what are you doing this weekend?”
Sharing a vast portion of each other’s time.
“I’m going to Team Leader Yang’s wedding on Saturday, and I’ll probably just rest on Sunday.”
“Ah, right. You know you have to go to the after-party if you go there, right?”
“What… after-party?”
The fact that this was news to him was written all over Yi-ho’s face.
“I heard they rented out a place specifically for the groom and bride’s single acquaintances to hang out. You usually hate that kind of thing.”
“What on earth is that? People do that these days?”
“Team Leader Yang and his bride love to party, and apparently, it’s a trend.”
Min-gyu opened YouTube on his phone, found a video, and placed it between them. The venue looked like an ordinary bar, but with the flashy lights, it had a club-like atmosphere. In the video, the groom and bride each pulled a friend over and pushed them close together, and the man and woman began to dance to the loud music. As they danced, the distance between them closed until their upper bodies were touching, and the crowd cheered. Then, another couple was paired up…
No, this is a bit, a bit…
Yi-ho had grasped what it was and wished Min-gyu would just turn off the video. Min-gyu was a friend he had known since they wore school uniforms. It felt exactly like watching an adult video with his own biological brother. Even if Min-gyu was the object of his unrequited love, he had never particularly thought of him in a sexual way. Since he had never had a particularly high sex drive to begin with, he simply thought his crush was platonic. Probably…
Yi-ho’s gaze shifted from the screen to the prominent wrist bone of the hand holding the phone, then traveled up the arm to the thin loungewear t-shirt. The shoulders that filled out the seams, the curve of the collarbone visible inside the neckline, the chest and the waist.
Wait, is that not it? Have I… thought about it?
“See. I told you it’s not your taste.”
Min-gyu moved the screen away. Yi-ho cast his gaze downward, pretending to scoop up some rice. He hadn’t realized that he had developed this kind of desire for Cha Min-gyu. He thought he just liked him…
“…Are you going?”
“I heard Team Leader Yang’s bride-to-be worked at an agency for a long time. There’s no harm in making some connections.”
Min-gyu showed no agitation despite watching the same video. No matter how he put it, could building connections at a place like that really be as simple as he made it sound?
“Then maybe I should go too…”
Yi-ho mumbled. Min-gyu rested his chin on his hand while looking at him. It was a small movement, but because of his large frame, he suddenly felt very close to Yi-ho.
“Sure. Everyone from the company will be there, so it won’t be as wild as that video. Since you’re going, try meeting this person and that person. You’re thirty-three; you can’t be this shy just because you saw a video of people dancing.”
“I’m not.”
“Though I guess I’ll get a bit bored if you start dating.”
The spicy and sweet braised chicken became slightly bitter.
“…What about you, Cha Min-gyu?”
“I’m not in a position to date.”
“Min-jung is starting school now, so what’s the big deal?”
“You’re talking like you’re trying to marry off a widower. Song-i, who do you want me to meet?”
Of course I don’t want you to, you idiot. You’ve been throwing stones at the chest of the person who loves you this whole time.
Even if he had resigned himself to the fact that he would never be able to confess his feelings to Min-gyu for the rest of his life, he didn’t know how deep he would want to dig a hole and hide in if he actually faced that situation.
“…That’s for you to decide.”
Even so, that was the only answer he could give as a friend.
“……”
Yi-ho felt Min-gyu’s blatant gaze. Cha Min-gyu didn’t have the slightest clue about the feelings Song Yi-ho harbored. If he knew, he wouldn’t be able to let him into his home so effortlessly or serve him meals he cooked himself. He wouldn’t have leaned in and offered himself up so fully to the other’s gaze.
Yi-ho was the one who lost the staring contest. He reached out and gathered the empty bowl in front of Min-gyu and his own empty bowl.
“I’ll do the dishes.”
Min-gyu didn’t stop him. When eating at someone’s house, the guest does the dishes. It was one of the subtle rules they had developed while living across from each other for four years.
Min-gyu watched Yi-ho’s actions as if observing him, then followed him toward the kitchen. Then, he discreetly moved the large pot of braised chicken onto the induction stove so it wouldn’t be added to the pile of dishes. Yi-ho, who was pulling on rubber gloves, asked.
“What’s that for?”
“There’s some left. To eat tomorrow.”
“Ah.”
Yi-ho habitually squeezed some detergent and scrubbed a cup with a sponge. Min-gyu, who had remained in the kitchen, stepped up behind him and rested his chin on Yi-ho’s shoulder.
“You’re heavy, you brat.”
“The height is perfect. Song-i stand. It’s a bit hard, maybe because it’s like a turtle shell.”
“Ah, go away.”
With both hands trapped in rubber gloves, Yi-ho tried to shake Min-gyu off by shrugging his shoulders. But far from shaking him off, their cheeks grew closer, and Min-gyu grabbed his waist, telling him to stay still. Yi-ho gasped, his chest swelling.
“Song-i, you and I definitely didn’t have this much of a difference in high school, so why did you get so tiny? Did some electromagnetic wave from the computer make you shrink?”
The breath following the whispered words touched the rim of his ear. Even though the words were spoken right next to him, Yi-ho couldn’t understand half of the content.
“I—I’m above average. You’re the one who suddenly grew after going to the army…”
“What, is it ticklish? Why are you shaking so much?”
Only then did Min-gyu let go of Yi-ho, and the tension left Yi-ho’s frozen body. The slight trembling was hidden by the oversized rubber gloves and the bubbles blooming over the plates.
Song Yi-ho is in love with his friend of fifteen years, Cha Min-gyu.
When you have a crush, it’s natural to want to get closer and touch them. However, even though Yi-ho didn’t put in any effort, the other party took it upon himself to pull him into his house, cook for him, and cling to him incessantly.
Looking at Song Yi-ho’s situation, others who struggled with long-term unrequited love would scream that he was a fraud.
‘Right, having a crush act like this is a reward in this industry. Let’s just enjoy it. Cha Min-gyu, you sinful bastard.’
Unrequited love is a variable that cannot be output.
Calculating a meaningless value is a waste of memory. Therefore, rather than thinking in circles, it is more efficient to simply keep it tucked away.
And if he can enjoy it in the meantime, it’s a profit.
This was the method of unrequited love that Song Yi-ho had chosen.
Instead of letting go, Min-gyu stood close beside him. Their arms brushed through the thin fabric of their clothes. Between the clinking of the tableware, Yi-ho’s sigh passed, followed by another inexplicable chuckle from Min-gyu.
∗ ∗ ∗
It was unclear when he had started thinking of his ‘friend’ Cha Min-gyu this way. It wasn’t immediately upon meeting as students, but it was certainly before he entered the company.
The time it took to verify that this emotion was ‘liking’ was also long. Fifteen years was enough time for realization, denial, and acceptance to all pass. Instead of a moment of falling passionately in love like in a movie, one day Yi-ho realized that the emotions and actions he had toward Cha Min-gyu were those directed toward someone he loved.
On the day he became aware of his crush, Yi-ho gave up on it becoming a mutual love. The bond they had built over a long time, beyond friendship, had become a bridge as sturdy as if they were the two supporting pillars. If he twisted this because of a change in his own feelings, too many things would collapse.
Fortunately, fifteen years of friendship served as a fairly great smokescreen; as long as he behaved himself, it seemed he would never be caught.
“Are you saying you can’t do it?”
The questioner’s attitude was less about looking down on the other person and more like a student asking about a subject they didn’t understand. A tone of ‘How could such a thing be possible?’ That scratched the other person’s pride even more effectively. The questioner, Cha Min-gyu, likely knew this result best.
Team Leader Kim, who had come to Min-gyu’s desk, gripped the partition and forced a smile.
“It’s not that I can’t, it’s just that this is sudden. This area is a bit different from our usual field. I need plenty of time to look up materials, consult with the designer, and discuss the unreasonable parts of the plan to add or subtract.”
“Ah…”
The end of the long-drawn voice faded like a sigh. Min-gyu, staring at the monitor with a serious expression while resting his chin on his hand, turned his head back to Team Leader Kim.
“That won’t work. Setting aside the consultation between you and me, the Head of Department has high expectations for this case, so it would be best to finish it as quickly as possible.”
At the mention of the Head of Department, whose hobby was wandering around the office, Team Leader Kim lowered his voice.
“Isn’t it the Marketing Team’s job to… coordinate things in the middle?”
“Then this team’s name would be the Development Team’s Secretarial Team. Do you not know the scope of cooperating departments? Shall I recite the Marketing Team’s job description for you?”
“……”
“You might not know, but my job is to make money by selling what the company makes, but right now, there’s nothing to sell.”
In other words, go and come up with the solution you were ordered to. Min-gyu was still smiling freshly, as if he were on a spring picnic, but Team Leader Kim ruffled his bangs, muttering things like “No, seriously,” and “Geez, really.” Of course, Min-gyu didn’t even blink.
“Normally, the Development Team would naturally coordinate, so I’m a bit flustered that you’ve suddenly come to me like this. Is it because the cooperating team has changed?”
Everyone knew that until recently, the Marketing Team had been bickering and fighting with Yi-ho’s Development Team, which was right next to them. In the Development Team, which Team Leader Kim glared at, the team leader was absent. To be precise, he had stopped his walk back from the restroom far in the distance because it looked like a fight had broken out in the next seat.