By Zephyria 
“……!”
Startled, he tried to pull away, but Tae-un grabbed his wrist first. A red tongue slowly licked his fingers, and the pointed tip of the tongue gently tickled the tender skin at the base of his fingers. The raw sensation struck his sensitive skin vividly, making his fine hairs stand on end.
The fingers gripping his wrist were soft, and the upturned corners of the mouth were gentle. It felt as though he could push him away with just a bit of effort, yet he found himself unable to exert any strength. Beyond the gripping fingers, Tae-un’s eyes—a deep, three-hundred eyes gaze—filled his entire vision.
What wavered within those sunken, pitch-black pupils was something that had rarely been hidden, a feeling toward him…
Snap.
Sensing a longing that sparked like a single flame, Kim Si-baek yanked his hand away with a sound loud enough to be heard. Tae-un, stepping back obediently, licked his own lips as if to show off. The redness of the tongue, contrasting with the pale skin, made his vision ache again, and he rubbed his trembling eyelids.
“You really are…”
Not knowing what he was trying to say, he opened his mouth and then closed it again. Kim Si-baek let out a sigh and stood up from the bench. Biyendwe, who had been frozen in surprise, finally prostrated himself flat against the crown of his head.
“I’m going to the restroom.”
“Yes, Hyung.”
The voice answering him was so perfectly obedient that he didn’t seem like the person who had been playing with his tongue so recklessly just a moment ago.
Perhaps their paths had diverged, as Pi Min-hyeong’s family was not in the restroom. It was a relief. Had he run into them, it would have been awkward to know what to say.
Standing before the mirror at the sink, Kim Si-baek only then realized that a flush had risen to his face. Even after scrubbing his hands with cold water, the sensation of the rough tongue sweeping across his skin would not fade.
He wanted to maintain the relationship of older and younger brothers, yet he was troubled by how he kept becoming unsettled by the other man.
…Perhaps he had been hoping for something more than that. Without even realizing it.
〈There seems to be some misunderstanding… It’s not that I particularly want to date you, Hyung. Nor am I asking you to accept the feelings I once had.〉
Tae-un’s words suddenly came to mind. Looking back, the conversation they had then was in the past tense.
‘Once had, you say?’
Kim Si-baek was deep in thought, chewing over his conversation with Tae-un.
Rumble!
A thunderous roar shook the very earth. People in the restroom screamed and collapsed. The sink fixed to the wall shook violently as if it were about to be ripped off.
‘Could it be another magical beast? I didn’t feel any special magical energy!’
Pushing his thoughts aside, he rushed out of the restroom in one breath. Amidst the thick clouds of rising dust, the panicked crowds, and the ear-splitting roar. There.
A small boy was there.
“…….”
Kim Si-baek gasped sharply. No. He couldn’t even feel the sensation of gasping. The chaotic surroundings, the urgently accelerating flow of time—everything became invisible and inaudible. In this moment, he even forgot the existence of the terrified young god perched upon his crown.
All his senses sank toward a single existence. The child existed before him.
“……Un-ah.”
A call, nearly a moan, fell weakly from his lips. It dropped hollowly, unable to even pool on the ground, scattering into nothingness. Kim Si-baek barely managed to pull up a strained groan that he couldn’t even hear himself.
“Si-woon.”
The child beamed. The first time he witnessed the child’s smile, it was closer to horror. A pure, clear smile clung to the corners of the mouth, whispering. Hyung-ah.
His lower abdomen split open, and red blood and organs spilled out in clumps, and finally, an eyeball popped out. Horror crushed him.
✽ ✽ ✽
Chaos is an ancient god, the first ancient filth pooled at the very bottom of the world, and the remnants of defeated divinity and mystery. Everything is mixed within the ancient filth. The instincts and will that allow living beings to survive are also residues that flow into the ancient filth.
Magical beasts were created from this chaos. Therefore, magical beasts that are closer to chaos and more powerful have their origins particularly pronounced.
Edokus’s origin is fear.
The fear that the last descendant of a royal family fallen due to revolution might be discovered, the fear of dying, the fear of wanting to escape death and live—chaos coveted these, and he, who once had a human name, received Edokus, meaning fear, as his new name.
That is why Edokus, even now, while absurdly weakened, could influence the fear of others. Apostles who revealed a weakness were no exception.
✽ ✽ ✽
The child sometimes wondered. Why did Mom and Dad get married if they didn’t like each other?
They say people marry because they love each other, and that’s how they become a couple and have children, but his parents were not like that. In Kim Si-baek’s young memories, his father was usually drunk, and the duration of the violence grew as long as the number of accumulating liquor bottles. Because his mother was constantly swollen, burst, and bruised, it was difficult to even recall her original face.
When Kim Si-baek was very young, his mother, who used to fight back with desperation, eventually stopped raising her voice. Around the time deep resignation and despair settled on his mother’s face, a younger brother was born. Kim Si-baek wondered why he had a brother when they didn’t love each other. The child did not know that he was the result of a night when his mother’s screams were exceptionally miserable.
His brother was very different. While other children were babbling, he only rolled his eyes blankly and couldn’t speak until he was three. He seemed to understand that his name was ‘Kim Si-woon,’ but he rarely looked back when called. Sometimes, he would spend a long time watching things that waved or flickered.
It was an era when research on autistic disorders or developmental disabilities had not been properly conducted. The brother’s difference became “slowness,” and the child’s slowness became the father’s shame.
The father denied the brother. He interrogated and cornered the mother, asking whose child he was, and smashed liquor bottles. The brother, who played well by himself in the corner even if left alone, sought out his older brother every such night. It seemed that even a child who didn’t react to external changes dreaded the father’s violence.
Every time he pulled the brother into his arms, covering him with a blanket and blocking his ears so he wouldn’t hear, Kim Si-baek felt suffocated by the weight of the small, wriggling warmth in his embrace. The boy felt even more sorrowful at the unstable breath of his brother, who would rub his face in his chest without crying before falling asleep.
It was a morning when he had fallen asleep while holding his brother like that.
His mother, who did nothing but cry, get angry, and curse, was busy frying pork cutlets from an early hour. Seeing that the father was nowhere to be found, it seemed he had gone out to drink, unable to control his temper, and had not returned. When the father drank throughout the night, he usually returned late after noon, but for some reason, the mother seemed extremely anxious that day.
In a house where the father was absent and no smell of alcohol lingered, the delicious scent of frying pork cutlets wafted through the air. Kim Si-baek loved that smell. Because he knew that while the father loved neither the mother nor him and his brother, the mother at least loved him and his brother.
The mother, who had piled pork cutlets like a mountain on a plate, hugged him tightly.
〈Si-baek, I’m going to the market to get some groceries, so you have to guard the house well. Mommy will buy more of the pork cutlets her son likes.〉
Even as she gently stroked his back, the mother could hardly meet his eyes, and Kim Si-baek sensed something. He did not ignore his intuition and looked straight at her.
〈Mom.〉
〈Yes?〉
〈I’m okay, so can’t you take Si-woon with you?〉
〈…….〉
The mother’s face distorted completely. He hadn’t intended to make her cry, but the mother poured out tears, her entire face contorted without even being able to make a sound. I’m sorry, Si-baek. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…
Kim Si-baek regretted it. If he had known his mom would struggle, he should have pretended not to know.
The deeply sleeping brother saw neither his mother’s tears nor her final appearance. Kim Si-baek cut the pork cutlets into small pieces and fed them to his brother, who woke up looking for their mother. The brother ate the cold, hardened pork cutlets with great relish.
The father, who returned only at sunset, realized the mother’s absence. The father became even more violent, and no matter how much they ventilated, the smell of alcohol did not disappear, layering up and mixing with a musty smell of mold.
One day, upon returning from school, the brother, who had been sitting alone in the corner of the room, spoke for the first time.
〈Hyung-ah.〉
The first word, not for Mom or Dad. Hyung-ah.
Kim Si-baek knew that this single word would become a binding spell he could not shake off for the rest of his life.
It was a time when the traces of violence left by the father were covered by the traces of corporal punishment left by teachers. The father likely preferred the reactions Kim Si-baek gave back over the “terrible thing” that couldn’t speak properly and had dull reactions. Kim Si-baek also felt a sense of relief that it was he, and not his brother, who was the target.
〈Hyung-ah.〉
Just as the father always cursed, it didn’t matter if he wasn’t a biological brother. Every time the child made the sound “Hyung-ah,” slowly chewing with his small mouth and reaching for his hand, Kim Si-baek felt his pain being washed away. He was the only person in the world who could protect this clumsy and slow little child.
Even after the mother disappeared, the brother still loved pork cutlets. Coincidentally, school meals were being introduced in elementary school. On days when pork cutlets were served as a side dish, Kim Si-baek would secretly pack them and bring them home.
He was sometimes bullied in class for being caught doing so, but it was okay. Seeing his brother, who had a small appetite and little interest in food, eat the cold pork cutlets deliciously made his own stomach, filled only with water, feel full. Perhaps the mother had made their meals and fried pork cutlets with this same feeling.
〈Si-woon, do you miss Mom?〉
〈Don’t know.〉
As always, the brother answered slowly, taking his time.
〈Don’t know Mom.〉
Watching his brother focus on the pork cutlets as if uninterested, Kim Si-baek made a decision. He had to go find their mother.