By Zephyria “Do you know what that means?”
Ashley’s words came to mind. Koi opened his closed eyes and stared blankly at one place. Ashley’s words continued to play in his ears.
“Think carefully. What did I do for you today, and why did I do it?”
He said it was a thank you for the homecoming party ticket. But even if Koi was clueless, he knew very well that it didn’t make sense to repay it to this extent. There is definitely a meaning. What is it?
“If you think about it carefully, you’ll know. You already know the answer.”
The memories were vividly revived in his head one by one. Ashley was different from usual, didn’t he seem especially more affectionate?
Because he’s rich.
Koi suddenly thought. Unlike me, Ash is rich, so maybe it’s natural for him to give back to that extent. Ash said that too, the rich pay a lot of taxes and the best limit is different from poor kids like me. Maybe Ash was repaying me at Ash’s level.
No.
Immediately, a voice of opposition flowed out from within him. You know that Ashley isn’t that kind of guy. He has never shown off his money or excessively favored his friends.
He bought me clothes, had dinner at a fancy restaurant, and the clothes and car he wore were different from usual.
Doesn’t it feel like a date……?
“The answer is already inside you.”
“Ugh!”
Koi, who was startled and jumped up, sat down on the bed as he was and frantically racked his brain.
No. What are you thinking, seriously? There’s no way.
He immediately denied it, but no matter how much he thought about it, it was strange. Even Koi, who had never been in a relationship before, knew what a date was like. The thought that came to mind now was too absurd.
But even if it’s a thank you, what he did today is too much.
At that time, a memory that he had forgotten suddenly came back to life.
“I think of those guys as friends, but I’ve never felt my heart pound or felt embarrassed like that.”
……Huh?
“Rather, it feels bad, thinking that I’m doing that to those dark gorilla-like guys.”
Huh?
Koi blinked in confusion. His head kept coming up with dangerous imaginations. What did that mean? Why is that suddenly coming to mind now?
Ash is a good kid, but he doesn’t give this much overflowing kindness to just anyone. Even if they are close friends.
That means.
That…… means……
His brain slowly seemed to stop, and after a while, his heart started running like crazy. Koi jumped up as he was sitting and ended up falling off the bed.
“Ah!”
He stumbled and fell with a scream, then staggered and crawled back onto the bed. He was so out of his mind that he didn’t even feel the pain. Only one thing came to mind.
No, no way, no way, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely not.
Maybe, just maybe……
But Ashley has someone he likes. He definitely told me that. That he broke up with Al because he fell in love with someone else.
……Then.
Then, that story is.
“That’s what it’s like to like that person, Koi.”
Ash likes me, likes me……
He couldn’t even finish the words in his head and hurriedly covered himself with the sheet. He thought it was impossible, but then it made sense. It was strange that he suddenly asked me to go to the homecoming party together.
If that’s the case, then it makes sense.
“I think it’s true! Ugh!”
His heart was beating scarily and his face was flushed as if it was about to explode. He couldn’t come to his senses at all. He felt like he was going crazy with anxiety, but he was also excited, embarrassed, and proud, and he was constantly restless. Koi might have screamed if Father hadn’t come home at that time.It was as usual. Father, dead drunk, had returned and the sound of him taking out more alcohol faintly reached him, but even that wasn’t important to him. The sound of his own heart beating was several times louder than that. And so, he spent the entire night curled up like that.
*
When the weekend passed and he went to school, the kids were all talking about the party at Ashley’s house. Koi passed by the noisy voices, parked his bike in the same spot as always, and headed for his locker.
“Oh, Koi!”
Bill, who spotted Koi first, waved his arm and greeted him. The guys who were gathered behind him turned their heads, and Koi’s eyes met Ashley’s among them.
Koi, who was about to return Bill’s greeting, felt his heart sink in an instant. The delusion he had spent all night conjuring up was revived all at once. Immediately, his head went blank, and his face flushed and heated up.
He wanted to run away, pretending he didn’t see them, but the ice hockey team guys were all looking at him. Koi had no choice but to walk towards them, avoiding Ashley’s gaze as much as possible. Bill, who had first greeted him, scanned Koi once and then let out a short whistle.
“He looks a lot different today, doesn’t he? Hey, don’t you think so? He looks kind of cool, doesn’t he?”
“Oh, he really does.”
The other guys nodded in agreement. Today, Koi had taken a big risk and wore the shirt and pants that Ashley had bought him. Even his shoes were new.
Koi avoided their gazes out of embarrassment and gave a vague “Oh, oh” as an answer. Then, he cautiously raised his eyes and met Ashley’s gaze again. He stopped breathing without realizing it, and Ashley smiled gently. At that moment, Ashley spoke to the dazed Koi in a kind voice.
“It suits you well.”
“Oh, …u, uh-huh.”
That was all Koi could say. His heart was pounding, and he was so embarrassed that it was impossible for him to stand there. In the end, he mumbled something vaguely and ran away.
The group of guys, watching his hurried retreating figure, soon lost interest and returned to their previous conversation. Among them, Ashley was still watching Koi’s back as he ran away in a fluster. A faint smile was on his lips.
Koi, wearing the clothes he had bought him today, was so cute. He wanted to hug him and shower him with kisses the moment he saw him. The only thing that kept him from losing his reason was that five giant gorillas were standing as obstacles between Koi and Ashley, blocking his path.
I should have bought him everything after all.
He regretted it now that he had only bought a few of the clothes he had tried on because Koi was feeling burdened. It’s okay, Ashley changed his mind. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future.
Imagining Koi, wearing the clothes he had bought him, lying on the bed and undressing him one layer at a time, Ashley naturally joined in the conversation with his friends.
*
“Haa, haa.”
Koi, who had run until his breath reached his chin, finally stopped running only after hiding behind the building wall. His heart felt like it was about to explode, but it wasn’t just because of the running. From the moment he saw Ashley, his heart had already been running wild on its own.
He couldn’t stand it anymore when he thought of Ashley’s kindly smiling face. Koi even let out a groan of pain as he squeezed his head.
Could it be that Ash likes me?
The worry he had spent all night thinking about went back to square one. No matter how much he thought about it, there was only one answer. Besides, Ashley had clearly said it. The answer is inside Koi, and he already knows it.
The only answer I have is this, Ash.
Koi thought, forcing himself to calm his trembling breath. He wanted to consult someone about this situation, but there was no one he could do that with. Committing such a huge accident and leaving a post on the bulletin board again is something only an idiot would do. He got lucky this time, but it won’t be so easy to solve next time. Koi vowed that he would never post anything on the internet again in his life.
Let’s just ask him directly without beating around the bush.
Koi made a difficult decision. There was no other way. No matter how much he worried about it alone, he couldn’t find the answer, and only Ashley knew whether it was the right answer or not.
Koi took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
*
When it was lunchtime, Koi headed to the cafeteria as usual. Ashley was already standing in line with the other guys.
“Koi!”
Seeing Ashley raise his hand to greet him, Koi’s face flushed again. At any other time, he would have waved back and happily run towards him, but he couldn’t do that today.
Pretending he didn’t see him, Koi walked slowly and hid behind Bill, and only then did he let out a sigh of relief. But Ashley wasn’t going to leave him alone.
“Ah!”
Koi screamed without realizing it when his arm was suddenly grabbed and pulled. Ashley, who naturally pulled him into his arms, laughed from above his head.
“What are you doing over there?”
“Oh, uh, just.”
Koi felt his head spinning and hurriedly made an excuse.
“The, the shade is cool.”
“Huh?”
“Really?”
“Hey, Bill. Have you gained weight?”
“No, I haven’t! You guys are really…”
The usual jokes mixed with swear words came and went, but Koi didn’t hear a single word. All he could hear was the sound of his pulse ringing in his head.
Ashley.
Koi asked in his heart.
Do you really like me?
His heart felt like it was about to explode.