By Zephyria For a while, the two just stared at each other in silence. Amid the noisy atmosphere and the sounds of people talking, they were quietly lost in their own thoughts.
Ashley was the first to speak.
“What did you mean by what you just said?”
He still looked bewildered. Koi, embarrassed by his reaction, avoided his gaze. He had slipped up, feeling like he was back in his childhood.
“I didn’t think you’d remember…”
Koi trailed off, unsure whether to be happy that Ashley still remembered something about him or to feel sorry for suddenly embarrassing him. But the die was already cast. Ashley was already guessing everything.
“Koi.”
He asked in a somewhat hoarse voice.
“The reason you didn’t put ice in your cola was because you didn’t have the money?”
Before answering, Koi had to take a deep breath. Even now, as in the past, Ashley probably couldn’t even imagine it. That such a poor life existed in the world.
“Greenbelt doesn’t give free refills on cola…”
Koi confessed at last, exhaling in measured breaths.
“If I took out the ice, I could drink more.”
Ashley was completely stunned. They were enveloped in silence again, but it took even longer for it to be broken this time.
“You, you bought medicine and soup for me every time I was sick, right?”
Ashley asked again. His fingers tapped nervously on the table.
“Was that maybe… your lunch money or something?”
He didn’t think he’d remember that far back. Koi couldn’t answer and instead just nodded slightly. His fingers stopped tapping on the table. An uncomfortable silence resumed. With a short sigh, Ashley exhaled and spoke.
“Koi, did Father…?”
He barely managed to swallow the question that had risen to the tip of his tongue. He didn’t want to drive Koi’s already low self-esteem into the ground. This was enough. Countless mistakes he had made without thinking were already unfolding in his mind like a panorama.
“Why?”
Ashley managed to squeeze out the word, as if straining his vocal cords.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He was furious at his own stupidity for not noticing and deliberately giving Koi ice-free cola or ordering hot drinks for him. At the same time, when he even felt resentment towards Koi for not telling him, Koi answered.
“Because I admired you.”
‘Because I liked you.’ Instead, Koi uttered a different word.
“I was afraid that if you knew how poor I was… you’d hate me.”
Ashley didn’t know such feelings. To be afraid that someone might hate you was absurd. Moreover, Ashley had told Koi countless times that he liked him. And yet, Koi had never believed him? Why was he saying such things?
Noticing Ashley’s confusion, Koi murmured in a small voice.
“I didn’t want you to find out how different the worlds we lived in were.”
Koi gave a wistful smile as Ashley frowned.
“You probably wouldn’t understand.”
Ashley still kept his mouth shut. He was too confused right now, and the words that came to mind were all stupid questions, so it was better to remain silent.
Fortunately, the waiter brought the food, briefly breaking the awkward atmosphere between them. However, the waiter, who had placed the cheeseburger and double cheeseburger sets in front of each of them, quickly turned away, leaving the two of them alone again. In the short span of less than three minutes, Ashley had regained his composure.
“When did you come to the East Coast?”
Koi’s heart sank at his indifferent and cold tone, just like when he had first met him, but he tried to act as if nothing was wrong and answered brightly.
“It’s been a few months. I met Al too, do you know them? Al is…”
“A reporter for A Times. I know them.”
Ashley interrupted Koi’s words casually and ate his burger. Koi hesitated for a moment and followed suit. For a while, the two ate in silence.
Koi was desperately trying to think of something to talk about, but the atmosphere wasn’t conducive to conversation. Finally, after Ashley had finished his burger, Koi managed to continue the conversation.
“Thank you for helping me. …How did you know to come? I thought you’d be at a party since it’s the weekend…”
Ashley replied nonchalantly, as if it were nothing.
“I was in a meeting because of a trial. My secretary told me that the police had contacted me.”
“The police? How?”
Realizing that Nelson’s words were wrong, Koi immediately felt a warmth in his heart. He even thought that nothing else mattered now, but wanting to continue the conversation with Ashley, he asked again. Ashley broke a french fry in half and then wiped his greasy hands on a cheap paper napkin.
“They said they were looking for me to appoint a lawyer, and they read out all the names of the people who had been arrested.”
He was surprised that the secretary had reported that. He thought the secretary would just ignore something like that.
“Are you really close to Nelson?”
Ten years had passed, so their relationship could have changed in any number of ways. It was hard to imagine Ashley hanging out with Nelson, but Koi still wanted to confirm it. Asking with a certain resolve, Ashley openly scoffed at Koi.
“Me? With a junkie?”
“…I guess not, of course.”
Despite Ashley’s cynical reaction, Koi smiled foolishly. He felt good to confirm that there was no friendship between them at all. But Ashley didn’t smile at all and just looked at him.
“Why did you have such a delusion?”
Koi confessed honestly, using the word ‘delusion’ rather than ‘misunderstanding’.
“Nelson said in the detention center that you would get him out soon.”
“Me? Why?”
Seeing him frown this time, Koi quietly replied.
“He said you were his lawyer…”
“…Ha.”
Ashley let out a short, irritated sigh, as if he was dumbfounded. Startled, Koi quickly added.
“I don’t know why he lied like that, he would have been found out soon. …It was a lie, right?”
“If that were true, would I be sitting here eating this cheap burger with you right now?”
Ashley retorted mercilessly to his cautious question. Koi felt his face flush and shook his head.
“No, of course not. …Then why would he say such a ridiculous thing, I was wondering.”
“He was obviously trying to buy time.”
Ashley continued without hesitation.
“It must have been a minor disturbance, so he would have been released after one night anyway. And he was probably going to make excuses, saying that I was busy and couldn’t come in time or something.”
“I see.”
Koi nodded with a dazed expression, but inwardly he thought he was very bold. He would never have been able to make up such a daring lie.
Having thought that far, Koi belatedly widened his eyes. Ashley frowned at his expression. As if to say, what is it this time? But Koi had to take a deep breath before speaking. Putting the amazing fact he had just realized into words required more courage than Nelson’s shoddy lies.
“Ash, then… from that list, you saw my name and came to find me? To help me?”
Ashley’s hand, which had been reaching for a french fry, stopped in mid-air. Again, he was silent. But that silence was telling Koi more than thousands of words.
Koi’s heart began to beat wildly. The uneasy feeling that he had been trying so hard to shake off disappeared at once. Did Ashley want to see me too? Did he miss me? Like I did? Or maybe even more than me?
“Ash…”
“Don’t get the wrong idea.”
It was when he barely managed to call his name in an excited voice. Suddenly, Ashley cut him off with a cold voice.
Koi was startled and stopped. Watching Koi freeze across the table, Ashley continued.
“I just wanted to confirm something. I didn’t think you would have come all the way here…”
Having said that, he suddenly closed his mouth.
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