By Zephyria After calming down to some extent, they sat side by side on the sofa.
Ashley wrapped one arm around his waist, pulling Koi close to his body, and used his other hand to fidget with the hand he had placed on his thigh.
Koi leaned completely against Ashley, just looking down at Ashley’s hand.
Neither of them spoke. This silence was a first. It was the first time he felt so anxious and nervous during his time with Ashley. Koi tried hard not to reveal his nervousness, racking his brain. He barely managed to think of a safe topic and opened his mouth.
“…How’s school going? You’ve missed so many classes.”
Ashley’s attendance rate last semester was barely a third. Did the principal know what happened?
Koi felt a sense of disappointment after barely breaking the silence. He lowered his head, feeling gloomy, but Ashley kissed the top of his head and replied.
“When Alphas or Omegas Manifest, they get a lot of leeway for a year or two. Their Pheromones are often unstable.”
“Ah…”
Only then did Koi understand. So, was Ashley unable to return because of his Pheromones?
“Was it, very hard?”
Ashley didn’t answer the cautious question this time. Instead, he quietly grabbed Koi’s hand that he had been fidgeting with and squeezed it. Feeling the serious atmosphere, Koi closed his mouth again. Ashley then released his hand and let out a long sigh.
“Pheromones are part of the reason.”
There was something else.
Koi became anxious again. Ashley had clearly said that he still loved him. He had also said that he wouldn’t break up, and that he would die if Koi left him.
Why won’t he tell me?
Koi felt empty again.
He had said that you should be honest when you’re dating.
There was a way to press Ashley by mentioning what he had said, but Koi didn’t. Everyone has secrets they don’t want to talk about. That’s different from deceiving someone. He himself had never shown Ashley the house he lived in because he was ashamed.
That wasn’t all. Koi realized how much he had been hiding.
What if I confess everything now?
He felt a strong urge, but he clenched his mouth shut to resist it. He had endured without ever saying anything until now, and he thought it was cowardly to reveal his secrets in order to find out Ashley’s secrets.
Talking about himself should be something he wanted to do on his own, regardless of Ashley, when he was ready. Now was not the time.
Koi took a trembling breath in and out slowly. In any case, Ashley was with him now. How much had he thought about him when he couldn’t even contact him? He didn’t need anything else, he didn’t want anything, he just wanted him to come back.
That’s enough.
Koi closed his eyes tightly and then opened them slowly. Ashley was still holding his hand. Koi quietly brought the hand he was holding to his cheek. Koi intertwined his fingers with Ashley’s long fingers and pressed his cheek against the back of his hand.
“…I missed you.”
He could clearly hear his own voice trembling. But Koi did his best, as much as he could. Until then, Ashley had touched and hugged Koi countless times, but he hadn’t tried to kiss him. Maybe he couldn’t find the right timing.
Until now, it was Koi who had been watching to see when it would be a good time to kiss, not Ashley. Remembering how he used to kiss Koi all over his face and burst into laughter, he felt like he was going to cry again.
“Ash.”
Koi opened his mouth in a choked voice.
“Didn’t you miss me…?”
“Of course I did.”
Ashley immediately denied it. Seeing Koi’s face looking up at him with tears in his eyes, his heart felt like it was tearing apart. Ashley couldn’t help but tilt his head. Noticing that he was about to kiss him, Koi reached out and wrapped his arms around his neck first.
He was dying to touch Ashley. It was the first time he had wanted something so desperately.
Kiss me, Ash. Hurry.
Ashley, who was holding Koi tightly and had closed his eyes and raised his head, brought his lips close. He was uncharacteristically nervous, his whole body stiff. When his trembling breath was close enough to touch Koi’s lips.
〈There’s nothing more foolish than believing that teenage love will last forever.〉
Suddenly, his secretary’s voice echoed in his ears. At that moment, Ashley froze. Her mocking, cold voice continued.
〈Do you think it’s possible for a Beta to be with an Alpha or Omega? Shouldn’t you give up for the sake of the other person?〉
Feeling something strange, Koi, who had been trembling slightly and waiting for a kiss, quietly opened his eyes. He blinked in confusion at Ashley’s expression in his sight.
“Ash… what’s wrong?”
Koi asked cautiously, but Ashley didn’t answer. He just stared blankly down at Koi.
〈If he had that much Pheromone, he would have Manifested or mutated a long time ago, but that kid hasn’t changed at all?〉
Besides, Ashley’s Pheromone scent was still filling the area around him.
Despite the intense scent that was enough to confuse his own mind, Koi had no particular reaction.
〈Maybe he’s strongly rejecting it.〉
No way, Koi.
He immediately shook off the doubts that had briefly entered his mind. However, Koi was shocked by Ashley’s actions of shaking his head urgently and pushing Koi’s shoulders away.
Ashley stretched out his long arms, keeping Koi as far away as possible, and lowered his head, just panting. His rough breathing echoed eerily in the quiet room. Koi, who had been watching him for a while, finally opened his mouth.
“What’s wrong, Ash?”
Koi’s voice was filled with tears.
“I’m scared, why are you doing this… What on earth happened there?”
Koi started sobbing, sniffling. Ashley tried to calm himself down for a while, just listening to his stifled sobs.
“…I’m sorry.”
After a long time, Ashley finally opened his mouth. Koi desperately tried to hold back the tears that kept coming and waited for his words. Ashley continued in a choked voice.
“If I tell you the truth, you might despise me.”
“I would never do that.”
Koi immediately denied it. But all that came back was Ashley’s cynical smile. Koi became anxious again at his face, which even looked somewhat desolate.
While he was cautiously watching, Ashley tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling, letting out a short sigh.
“You asked me what I did in the East, right?”
Koi unconsciously tensed up and shrugged his shoulders. So much so that Ashley, who was holding both of Koi’s shoulders until then, also noticed. Ashley, who had been looking up at the ceiling for a while, lowered his gaze again.
“I was dragged to a party.”
“Huh?”
Koi looked at him in confusion at the unexpected words.
Ashley gave a bitter smile. It was the first time he had smiled so desolately. Moreover, Ashley was smiling with that face. Ashley asked Koi, who was shocked again.
“You don’t know what a party is, do you?”
Koi immediately retorted. Even if he himself had always thought of himself as a loner and an outcast, it was too much to say that he wouldn’t know what a party was.
“I know.”
Despite Koi’s answer, Ashley’s expression didn’t change much. Still smiling weakly with a pale face, he said.
“You don’t.”Haha, Ashley chuckled softly. The sound was so pained, as if his insides were boiling, that Koi was left speechless. He hadn’t imagined this reaction at all. This wasn’t the Ashley Miller he knew. The image of him laughing cheerfully under the sunlight was still vivid in his mind, so how could this be happening?
“Koi.”
Koi could only stare, unable to say a word. Finally, Ashley stopped laughing and called his name.
“Ah, yeah.”
Koi nodded hastily, and Ashley began to speak.
“If, let’s say…”
What was he trying to say? Koi couldn’t even guess, and finally, Ashley asked him, his voice trembling.
“If I told you I slept with someone else, besides you, what would you do?”