By Zephyria 
Like being cut off with an ax, huge memories that he couldn’t handle flooded in between the abruptly cut-off consciousness. His brain was forcibly opened and memories were crammed in.
Andrew Hamilton knelt on the floor and let out a silent scream. Truly, throughout all the days he had lived, this was the first time he had experienced such unbearable pain. He thought he was quite confident in enduring physical pain, but there was no way to deal with this overwhelming sensation. All he could do was get swept away by the rushing tidal wave and wander around.
‘We have received a call from the Imperial Palace. How should we handle it? If you want to save Noah, you must act now…’
‘Leave him alone.’
‘Yes? But, Little Count.’
‘I said leave him alone. Father will be making an announcement soon. He will now officially be a commoner with no connection to our family, so there’s no need to act.’
‘Noah didn’t actually do anything wrong, so why go so far…’
‘Hmm. It’s true that there’s a lack of evidence, so no matter how hard the Crown Prince or the Graham family try, they won’t be able to reach the point of execution. Just watch them moderately until the two people’s anger is relieved, and then secretly take him away and bring him to the territory.’
‘…….’
The transplanted memories were foreign but also very natural. Every time a scene bloomed anew in his mind, he had to confront his own dirty desires in detail.
He had secretly taken Noah, who was in a shabby state and could no longer use the Hamilton name, and locked him up in a narrow attic several times. The memories mostly ended there. But if they didn’t end there and the scenes continued, he wouldn’t have simply confined him. It was certain. Andrew in the memory was moving with a clear motive and an even greater desire. It was even more certain because it was himself.
The scenes and viewpoints were mixed up in a mess. In some memories, Noah inadvertently threw himself out the window, and at other times, he didn’t move at all, as if he had given up.
When one continuous scene ended, it was always that day. Noah Hamilton’s official seventeenth birthday morning. He suddenly realized. Rather than realizing, the memories engraved in his soul, but sleeping in the darkness, were revived all at once.
How many repetitions have I done? He couldn’t even guess. The only variable in the unchanging world was Noah Hamilton. He, who had always shone, gradually declined due to Allen’s appearance, and it was Andrew Hamilton’s filthy hands that led the way in his downfall, unbelievably.
‘Brother! Please help me, I really didn’t do that. It’s a misunderstanding. If you just take a moment, then I can explain everything!’
Noah in the unfamiliar memory, who was a little more lively and a little younger than now, desperately shouted and clung to his feet. Every time that happened, he coldly brushed Noah away as if he had been stained with something dirty. He pretended to be calm on the outside, but inside he was jumping for joy. Finally, I can have you all to myself, I’m the only one who can save you from that bottomless pit… It was a sinister intention.
He didn’t like the fact that he had distanced himself, but he was on friendly terms with Frederick like no other brothers. So, he intentionally drove a wedge between Frederick and Noah. Even Noah Hamilton, who was betrayed by Frederick, whom he had believed in as a last resort, and shed tears in despair, was lovely.
As the memory was repeated countless times, Noah gradually became more and more lethargic. Unlike the other humans who were thrown into the repetition without knowing anything, he must have had all the memories.
Even so, even so, daringly…….
He didn’t know how much time had passed. The headache, which seemed like it would never end, slowly subsided.
Memories were accompanied by emotions. But every time, the irrational and immediate liking he felt for Allen was nowhere to be found. As he gradually retraced his steps, he felt it even more clearly. How artificial the world was, being friendly only to Allen, as if he were the only protagonist.
He doesn’t know why. Why Allen and why Noah? What kind of connection is there between the two that this filthy and cruel repetition has continued so terribly long?
He was terribly tormented and heartbroken, gritting his teeth and pounding his chest. When he thought of Noah’s appearance, slowly withering away and gradually losing the light of hope, unbearable anger and sorrow soared. He felt like he couldn’t kill all those who drove that lovely child down the thorny path of hardship enough times.
But what good would it do now?
Andrew Hamilton’s name was clearly engraved in the hall of those unforgivable sinners.
“Ah… Noah…”
He felt guilty even calling his name, so he straightened his back and couldn’t even dare to stand up. Hot tears poured out as his Adam’s apple shook greatly.
Even so, he spoke so well. To Noah, I love you… So use me like a servant, I want to stay by your side forever…
He had to bite his lip to keep from screaming. He bit so hard that he soon tasted a salty taste of blood.
After Allen appeared and saw Noah shaking uneasily, he once confessed his unchanging love. He asked if he knew how terribly his eyes were screaming every time he protected Allen, and he babbled about how he could confide his true feelings to him, and how he would always be on his side, with disgusting hypocrisy.
What did Noah say then?
‘Hahahaha. Now… Are you going to play the role of my emotional trash can? Now?’
Noah just asked back like that without even knowing he was crying. Andrew Hamilton at the time was half-hearted in his generosity, and honestly, he thought to himself that it was a good timing since Allen’s identity had not been confirmed for long. Even so, he still pretended to be gentle on the outside. He babbled and laid out a blueprint that if Noah was welcomed as the Countess and Allen was married off elsewhere, nothing would change.
Noah was right. Even if he didn’t know anything, as long as Noah had all the memories, he couldn’t dare to talk about love. Now… Yes. Really now.
He just said he was wrong once at that time, and then presumptuously craved love from Noah. He begged him not to be greedy to have you as my own, but to keep me as yours. He didn’t know that it was already enough greed to be able to shamelessly show his face in front of Noah.
I can’t go on like this… I can’t judge rationally anymore. He felt like he could only breathe if he went to Noah’s side right away, looked at that child’s face, knelt in front of him, begged for forgiveness, and asked for forgiveness.
Andrew Hamilton didn’t care how crazy he looked now and ran to the stable in a frenzy. The portable stone he had was already used to come down to the territory.
Young master! Little Count! Various titles and countless voices called out to him, but he didn’t care. Right now, somehow… somehow he had to return to Noah’s side. There was nothing more important than that.
It was already midnight when he took out a horse as if he were extorting it and pulled the reins. Relying on the faint moonlight, he ran and ran. He didn’t rest for a moment, except to stop by a nearby village and change horses when the horse was exhausted. His appearance was so miserable that the guards guarding the walls of the capital didn’t even believe he was a nobleman. He was only able to pass through the castle gates after taking out the Little Count’s seal.
Finally, he arrived at the Count’s mansion in the capital.
“Brother. Didn’t you say it would take a few days? How could you be here so early…?”
What greeted him was not the face he had been longing for, but Frederick Hamilton, the second son of the Count’s family. The anger that surged when he faced that shameless appearance! He really couldn’t explain it to anyone. He knew that he was the same sinner to Noah, but he did. His limbs, which had accumulated fatigue, were heavy and his lungs ached as if they would break, but anger was always more than enough to be a powerful driving force to move his body. He jumped off the horse as if rolling and threw a blind punch at Frederick Hamilton’s face.
I want to cut off the wrist that once slapped Noah’s cheek. I want to chew and swallow the fingers that twisted the fine hair.
Even though he was the same bastard. Sparks flew before his eyes. Servants and knights gathered at the commotion that broke out without even entering the mansion, not knowing what to do and only stamping their feet. This was because the Little Count, who would inherit all the assets of the mansion, was personally assaulting Hamilton’s second son, who was in charge of guarding the mansion.
Even Frederick Hamilton, who was hit by a barrage of punches from his older brother for no reason, calmly endured the beating, pretending to dissuade others from approaching. As if… as if he had been waiting for someone to punish him.