By Zephyria 
When I opened my eyes, my face was covered in tears. My vision was dark. Even in the deep darkness where I couldn’t see the ceiling well, I wasn’t afraid. It would be more accurate to say that I didn’t have the time to be afraid or anything. I didn’t even put on the slippers I wore in the room and just threw off the blanket and ran. The floor that touched my feet was just cold. Even the lingering sleepiness was all gone with that cold sensation.
My breath was naturally rough. It must be because I was out of breath from running. I pretended not to notice the tears that were pouring out again as soon as I woke up, and I deceived myself like that.
Everyone was asleep in the middle of the night, and I was making a fuss and running out, so the servants who seemed to have woken up from their sleep appeared one by one with bewildered expressions and tried to stop me, asking what was going on at this hour. Of course, I didn’t answer. I focused solely on running. The still dark vision doesn’t hinder me. The destination I’m running to breathlessly now is my room, which I was using until just a year ago.
Bang! I threw the door open with a loud noise. The room was filled with a bitter smell, as if I had burned herbs.
“…Wake up.”
I approached the bed and woke up the sleeping person without thinking. However, the person lying down with his eyes closed, as if he was not simply asleep, showed no sign of waking up.
“I told you to wake up. Wake up right now, wake up and, ugh, explain it again so I can understand. Is it all over if you just say what you want to say and disappear like this?”
When I grabbed his collar and brought my face close, his pale complexion gradually began to come into focus. His eyelashes, which didn’t even tremble, were soft silver. When I thought of the light in his deep eyes that were sleeping beyond that, I gritted my teeth involuntarily.
“Be free? Be happy? Now? Just, like this? You think you can end it with this?”
I don’t know. My insides were simmering. I wanted to define it as anger, but it was closer to… yes, sadness. It was an intense emotion that even I couldn’t understand.
Allen! I screamed like a scream. The quietly sleeping person is still motionless.
“Young Master! You can’t do this, Young Master!”
“Come in quickly and take Young Master Noah away!”
The servants who had rushed in at the sudden commotion in the middle of the night didn’t know what to do and put all their efforts into trying to take me away. They couldn’t dare to lay a hand on the precious person who would become a member of the imperial family and leave the mansion in a week, so they just prostrated themselves at my feet and pleaded.
But even with all this commotion, Allen was still quiet. He is asleep without the slightest movement. His face, reflected in the flickering light of the various candlesticks and lamps that the servants brought, was like a silent rock that did not shake even in a storm.
He breathes weakly, like a lie. It was a faint breath, like a dandelion seed that would fly away if you took your eyes off it for a moment. But is he still alive? Of course, even if this body dies, it’s unlikely that he will really disappear, and I can’t even guess the intention of keeping this body alive even after coming this far.
The doctor residing in the mansion said that he could not specify Allen’s illness. He said that it was probably because his energy was weakened and that he would soon shake it off and get up, and his lukewarm treatment clearly showed that he was watching my mood, as I was not on good terms with Allen.
Even though they couldn’t openly express it in front of me, the various mouths within the mansion would gather among themselves and chatter, saying that now that things had turned out this way, it would be better if Allen Young-won just passed away, and that Noah Hamilton would want that as well. I, too, thought so. I had thought that I desperately, so desperately, wanted Allen Young-won, who had tormented me so much, to disappear immediately so that I would never see him again…
The shell he wore was still weakly breathing, but there was no life in it. It was empty. It was only a matter of time before the last breath of this body was cut off. I felt it instinctively.
‘Be free, my Young-won.’
‘…’
‘…Please, be happy. My peace.’
Beyond the darkening vision, his last greeting echoed softly.
“Noah Hamilton!”
“Doctor, get a doctor! Immediately!”
I, who had stubbornly guarded Allen’s bed, unknowingly fell backward. A dizzying vertigo swept through my body.
“Ugh…”
My head ached as if it would break. The throbbing temples, as well as the inside of my eyeballs, were throbbing so much that I couldn’t bear it any longer. As I barely opened my eyes, clutching my forehead, worried voices poured out as if they had been waiting, “Noah! Noah? Are you awake?”
“Nois… y…”
The other person may have been worried, but I couldn’t stand the noise and the chaos. Fortunately, the person guarding my bedside wasn’t so clueless, and the surroundings quickly quieted down. I closed my eyes again and pounded my throbbing head with my clenched fist and said one word, “Water.” The other person hurriedly propped a high pillow behind my back and brought a cup of lukewarm water to my lips.
The arm strength that wrapped around my upper body was truly firm and stable. …Frederick Hamilton, perhaps.
“Just wait a little. I just told the doctor to come again, and you’ll feel better soon after taking the medicine. Is it just a headache? Anywhere else? Is there anything else that’s uncomfortable?”
As expected. When I opened my eyes slightly to check, Frederick Hamilton’s mournful face was very close. Still, remembering that I said it was noisy, his voice was lowered as much as possible.
“Frederick Hamilton… why are you here…”
I couldn’t end the sentence sharply or kindly, so I vaguely blurred it out. Come to think of it, is this the first time I’ve faced Frederick Hamilton alone like this after finding all the memories of my first life?
Freddy of the first life, who had cherished me from beginning to end, and the shadow of the cold Frederick Hamilton, who had put me in hardship in this life’s many repetitions, blurred, mixed again… It seemed like one, and then it seemed like many. I was so confused.
“I’m sorry if it was unpleasant. I was worr, worried… so I did that.”
Frederick Hamilton was startled and made excuses, stuttering. Andrew Hamilton was originally guarding my side, but he had to go down because there was an urgent matter to deal with in the Hamilton Territory, so he had to be there instead. There was no other intention at all, so his voice, asking me not to misunderstand, was filled with a strange earnestness.
It wasn’t as hateful or unpleasant as I thought. It was already too far to argue about such things. After all, Frederick Hamilton was also played by Allen Young-won.
It was easy to forgive this big, immature brother, now that I had decided to embrace Andrew Hamilton and Adrian. However, what makes me awkward until the very end… It must be because I had never really expected much from others while being born as Noah Hamilton in the last life and rolling all the way here. Unlike my dear brother, Frederick Hamilton, who I had difficulty giving up on until the end.
“…It’s okay. It’s not particularly unpleasant.”
I didn’t think I could smile brightly and call him Freddy right away like before.
“…”
“…”
He and I looked at each other, cautiously keeping an awkward silence. No, isn’t he a member of the Imperial Knights, and doesn’t he have anything to do at this time right before the coronation?
Until the doctor arrived, checked my condition briefly, and I swallowed a painkiller, Frederick Hamilton stubbornly stayed by my side, rolling his eyes as if he was about to die of anxiety. The doctor said it seemed like a stress-induced migraine, so I should relax and get plenty of rest. He said that regular sleep and a balanced diet were important. It was such an obvious thing that I didn’t even answer that I would pay attention to it.
After the doctor disappeared, it was just the two of us again. As the medicine took effect, I had some leeway in my nerves. However, I thought it would be more comfortable to faint again due to the suffocating awkward silence.
“Greetings, Little Count. His Royal Highness the Crown Prince is looking for you.”
A rescuer with a bit of a late sense of timing appeared. I was overjoyed and got up immediately.
Following the person Adrian sent, I headed to the Imperial Palace. Although he was called the Crown Prince, Adrian, who had already finished the transfer of practical affairs and the move of his residence, was now rightfully the Emperor. However, for some reason, the carriage stopped not at the Emperor’s bedchamber, the Sun Palace, but at the Dawn Palace, where he had resided when he was the Crown Prince.
“Adrian!”
Seeing his busy face, which I hadn’t seen in a while, I was happy and reached out my hand with a bright smile. The people around me seemed to gasp at my disrespectful behavior of not paying respect to the Emperor and calling him by his name right away, but Adrian and I just smiled.
Originally, he had become affectionate in the opposite way from before since he thought that I had saved him and came back alive, but after experiencing this kidnapping incident, Adrian began to cherish me as if I would break if he held me too tightly or fly away if he breathed on me. Moreover, he didn’t even think about hiding that attitude. Rather, he flaunted it even more as if to show off.
“This is really, it feels like the first time time doesn’t pass like this. There’s still a week left.”
“Just a little bit, it’s really just a little bit more.”
Today was the same. He reached out his hand, ignored my arm asking for an escort, and simply picked me up and took me out of the carriage, then suddenly pressed his lips to my cheek, saying he had missed me. It was a declaration that as long as he was alive and watching, no one could touch Noah Hamilton.