By Zephyria 
“…Adrian.”
The voice that had been struggling to hold back the rising heat was deeply subdued. The one who had come through the window was his longtime fiancé, Adrian Pearson. Noah was deeply saddened by that fact. No. Actually, he had half expected it. If the one who had appeared before him now was really the one he had been eagerly waiting for, he would have appeared directly in the air instead of opening the window.
“Don’t worry. No one knows I came here.”
Adrian said so in a fairly reliable voice, thinking that the reason Noah wasn’t immediately taking the medicine was because he was afraid of being caught by someone and damaging his honor as a noble. After falling in love with God, after being loved by God, honor and rumors among humans had never had much meaning to Noah Hamilton, and yet.
Suddenly, he felt it was funny. Of course, what was funny wasn’t Adrian. How could he laugh at the pitiful and faithful man who was gritting his teeth and turning his gaze away, trying to maintain his reason, even though he was standing in front of an excited Omega and being bombarded by the pheromones of a Dominant Omega who was experiencing his first heat cycle?
What was truly funny was Noah himself, who was carefully examining the traces of someone else who still showed no signs of appearing, even with such an Adrian in front of him.
Until he first cautiously told Adrian that he had fallen in love with someone and that he should tell him in advance because they would have to break off the engagement later, Noah didn’t feel sorry for Adrian at all. In the first place, they were not in a relationship that was formed out of love for each other, and he didn’t think that Adrian loved him with romantic feelings, just as he did. If the interpretation of the Divine Mandate was disadvantageous to him, the Crown Prince, if he was married to someone else, he was willing to pretend to be officially dead and live quietly. After all, there would be no marriage between Noah, who deeply admired him, and that person, in the human world in the form of a human.
But as they say, you see as much as you know. As he withered away from a feverish love for God and the cruel loneliness that was conceived from it, his gaze suddenly reached him. To Adrian, who was rotting inside in the same way as him.
“You were very scared, weren’t you? It’s okay, I’m here now.”
Adrian’s attitude toward Noah Hamilton hadn’t changed at all from before, but strangely, one day, he felt like he could grasp his heart. Perhaps it was because Noah Hamilton, who had been nothing more than a child, had come to know what true love was. He felt a little sad and guilty about it. Adrian’s unchanging attitude meant that Adrian had been loving Noah for a very long time, so long that he hadn’t even noticed it.
Sometimes, he wanted to just forget about the heartless God who only promised a distant future and choose Adrian, who offered such warm affection. After all, God had said it didn’t matter who you chose to be with during your human life.
Now, to a fresh-faced young human who hadn’t even lived for twenty years, the arrogant love of God was utterly incomprehensible.
After falling in love with God, Noah had become increasingly interested in theology and history related to God, and there were times when he was immersed in the records of the temple. The temple greatly welcomed the protagonist of the Divine Mandate taking an interest in his roots and allowed Noah to read anything he wanted, even records from forbidden places.
Noah read various stories related to God there. The story of the warrior who was chosen by God and defeated the Evil Dragon when a great threat approached the world several generations ago, and the great legacies of the Saints who appeared once every few generations, were preserved along with brilliant narratives. One record even contained the story of a young Priest who was favored by God.
His hands trembled. Even though they were ancestors who had died one after another decades or hundreds of years ago, and even though he knew that God had not loved them as future partners like Noah, he was in such a state that he couldn’t calm down amidst the surging jealousy.
“What’s wrong, Noah? It’s okay. It’s not scary. If you take the medicine, get a good night’s sleep, and wake up, everything will be alright.”
Adrian didn’t urge Noah, who didn’t take the medicine or answer, but only gently coaxed and soothed him. Only then did Noah want to burst into tears.
Are you watching? You said you’re always by my side, so you know what I’m thinking right now, don’t you?
“…A, drian.”
Forcing open his locked throat to bring out his voice, it hurt as if his insides were being scraped. Now, the insignificant heat of lust meant nothing to Noah. Compared to the heartaches that were torn into a thousand pieces, the fire of desire was fainter than the light of a mayfly.
Do you really love me? If you love me, why don’t you appear before me? If you love me, why are you… trying to give me to someone else?
The vision blurred with tears was all hazy. Noah whispered only in his heart, as a desire more earnest than a prayer.
Please appear now, please stop me, please whisper that you love me, please, please, please, it’s okay if you’re not so blinded, but just a little bit, please resent me, please be jealous. It’s okay even if it’s not jealousy. If you just give me the certainty that you really love me, anything is fine. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that you love me.
“Come here, Adrian.”
“Ugh… Noah…”
“I don’t need medicine.”
“……!”
A white arm stretched languidly into the air. The trembling arm was so thin and weak that Adrian could have easily shaken it off without exerting much force, but he was utterly unable to move and was bound. This wasn’t why he came. Or, was it not? As soon as he heard the news that Noah had gone down to the main castle of the Hamilton Territory to go through his heat cycle, he immediately urged the Imperial Palace to gather the Suppressant that was said to have the highest purity and the fewest side effects, and rushed down on horseback, even leaving his subordinates behind… It would be a lie if he said he had never imagined the beautiful face he had loved all his life being disheveled in ecstasy. Seeing Noah’s face, which had grown up so quickly at some point, he had often imagined the day he would take him. That’s right. Adrian wanted to have Noah. If he couldn’t have him, he wanted to be had by him.
“What I need right now is you.”
But not like this. Noah Hamilton did not love Adrian Pearson. That heavy fact was so important to Adrian. He wanted to mingle overflowing hearts with Noah Hamilton, who would one day love him, not just share body heat… as love itself.
It was also true that he was making every effort to track down and secretly dispose of the Allen that Noah had in his heart, but even that was entirely for the sake of winning Noah’s heart. If Noah’s heart hadn’t mattered in the first place, he would have dragged him to the Imperial Palace long ago, locked him in a sturdy cage, and satisfied his desires as he pleased.
But to harbor such wicked desires. Noah Hamilton was too precious an existence. So much so that Adrian himself could not forgive himself for treating him carelessly.
It was Noah who had brought light into his musty life, which had never seen the light of day, for the first time… Adrian wanted to bring only the best, the softest, and the most peaceful things to the beloved boy, no matter what.
How painful must the fever of the first heat cycle be for him to crave warmth from him, whom he doesn’t even love, like this? When he thought of that, he just felt sorry for his flushed face.
“Adrian…, huh?”
His tearful voice pleaded as if he were being coquettish. Adrian gritted his teeth. He had to endure, he had to endure… He shouldn’t treat his beloved Noah Hamilton like this…
“Am I not pretty anymore? Don’t you… don’t you even want to touch me?”
Damn it. The voice was too sweet to shake off, and the arm wrapped around his neck was too heavy. As much as his long-held affection for him.
“You know… that’s not true.”
“……”
“How much… I… damn it, ah, Noah…”
Eventually, Adrian crossed the line. The moment he kissed him hastily, tears streamed down Noah Hamilton’s closed eyes without stopping. Adrian loved Noah Hamilton, who didn’t love him very much, very dearly and carefully. He probably would have done so for the rest of his life.