By Zephyria 
With trembling hands, I handed over the credit card, and the shop owner swiped it decisively. I, who had been tense and stiff-necked, breathed a sigh of relief when the payment was processed normally.
“Our customer is very decisive. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a clean, one-shot transaction. Actually, we can purchase by the kilo cheaply from the factory, so we sell them cheaply too. Even if you compare us with other places, no one sells them cheaper than us. I don’t usually say this before a purchase because if I say it’s cheap, people start lying or complaining that there’s something wrong with the product. Anyway, you’ve made a great purchase today.”
I didn’t know if it was actually cheap or not, but I was satisfied with the fact that I had purchased a one-kilogram gold bar. Forcing down my pounding heart, I nodded with a face feigning composure.
“Thank you. I hope to see you again next month.”
“What are you planning to buy next month?”
At the owner’s question, I pointed to the shopping bag containing the one-kilogram gold bar. A smile spread across the owner’s face, and I hurried out of the store holding the bag.
Knowing the errand was finished, Lee Kyung-jin brought the parked car around. Only after climbing into the back seat did I let out a long, loud sigh.
“I never thought I’d be able to buy this with a credit card. I was really anxious that I’d hit the limit. I wonder what my card limit actually is.”
“I do not know your limit, Young Master, but I suspect the cards of other young masters have no limit.”
“What, stop joking.”
“I was not joking. Shall we head home now?”
“……There are cards with no limit? Really? Then mine too?”
“Even so, if you buy gold bars all at once, wouldn’t the elders of the house take some kind of measure?”
It seemed Lee Kyung-jin was slowly figuring out my intentions. I slumped my shoulders, which had been raised in excitement, and leaned back calmly.
“Mr. Lee.”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to tell Father about today?”
“…….”
“Then when you tell him, could you say that I bought it because I wanted one? Like, he asked why I bought it and I answered that way.”
“Understood. ……Then when you buy more next month, how should I respond?”
“Then… maybe that I’ve developed a hobby of collecting gold? Wouldn’t that work?”
It was a ridiculous excuse, but among billions of people, one couldn’t guarantee that not a single person had a hobby of collecting gold. I might have developed such a hobby, and the truth of it was something only I would know.
“May I ask what the real reason is?”
“I told you earlier. I don’t know what might happen to me later, so I’m collecting this instead of cash. Right now I have a credit card I can use freely, but this isn’t my card. If Father stops it, I can’t use it, and if Father happens to go bankrupt, I’ll have no way to make a living. It’s not like I have a job or my own saved money.”
“There will be no need for you to sell that gold to survive, Young Master.”
Lee Kyung-jin reassured me with a small smile. In his eyes, I probably looked as cute as a youngest sibling, but if he knew that the person inside was Min Jae-hee, who had wandered the back alleys, that thought would change instantly.
In Min Jae-hee’s eyes, the house I lived in and the credit card in my hand looked like a sandcastle. A sandcastle that could be swept away by waves and sea breezes at any moment. That’s why I needed something tangible, something real. Something I could be certain was mine.
∞ ∞ ∞
“Young Master.”
Following a polite knock, I heard a voice calling me. The people in this house are so incredibly polite with their knocking. For some reason, I feel like I should stand up to greet them.
“Yes, come in.”
The person who entered was Chief Cha. As always, she had a neat outfit, neat hair, and a calm face. She held out a tray toward me.
“You haven’t taken your medicine, have you? You may not be used to many things after being discharged from the hospital, but you must take your medicine.”
Um, I didn’t forget the medicine; I just didn’t take it because I didn’t need it.
Every time Chief Cha checked on me like this, pretending to take it and then spitting it out later was quite a chore. After thinking for a moment, I decided to tell the truth.
“Chief Cha. I can stop taking this medicine now. That’s why I didn’t take it.”
“I understand that you feel unwell after taking the medicine, Young Master. Your body feels sluggish and your head feels foggy, right? Still, you must take it. Back then, you didn’t take your medicine for a few days because you felt fine, and then that accident… I should have taken better care of you. So please, do not say you won’t take it.”
“No, I really don’t need to take it….”
But to Chief Cha, all my words seemed to sound like excuses. Then again, since Cha Soo-kyung had caused a suicide attempt after not taking his medicine for a few days, it was understandable that there was no trust.
“This is something I already discussed with Father while I was in the hospital. Then I’ll get a definitive answer from Father and let you know, Chief Cha. I’m not lying; I really don’t need the medicine. I’m perfectly fine now.”
“How about you take today’s medicine first, and we discuss this tomorrow?”
I could see her determination to make me take the medicine right now. I suppose one needs that level of stubbornness to survive in this strange household. But for me, it was a stubbornness that offered no help.
“Then I’ll go get permission right now. I’ll be back quickly.”
I left Chief Cha behind and quickly exited the room. Maybe I should have just pretended to take it and spat it out. I briefly regretted my choice as I descended the stairs to the first floor.
After dinner, the family members had scattered, sequestering themselves in their own spaces in silence. The two fathers were nowhere to be seen.
Are they in the bedroom, or the study? Slowly recalling the confusing layout of the house, I searched for the fathers’ bedroom.
Arriving before the wooden door carved with vines, I checked my attire. They dislike a disheveled appearance and always nag me about it, and since I was in a position to ask for a favor, there was no need to invite a scolding.
Just as I brushed off my clothes and was about to knock, voices leaked from inside the door. Both of them must have been in the bedroom.
“Stop it. I have a few documents left to review.”
“I’m just asking to hold you for a moment, is that not allowed? The remaining documents can be handled tomorrow.”
“Then the work will pile up again. I’ll just get more tired.”
“We’ve hardly done it lately. Just once, please? Just once. Stop being stubborn.”
“Next time.”
“When is ‘next time’? Lately, you’ve just been making excuses and postponing it. You postponed it to look after Soo-kyung after his accident. Now it’s work again? If that’s the case, quit the art gallery. I’m the one earning the money.”
“Don’t speak like that.”
“Sorry, I’m sorry. I misspoke. Honey, are you angry? I’m truly sorry. Are you very tired? Shall I give you a massage? Lie down here.”
I tried to knock politely, but the nuance of the conversation was strange. I felt like this wasn’t the right timing to knock.
My fathers always appeared blunt, and I had been a bit worried after hearing at a gathering that the Chairman Grandfather didn’t think fondly of the Omega father and me, but contrary to that, it seemed the fathers’ relationship was actually good. What was even more unexpected was that the Alpha father seemed to be the one clinging more to the Omega father.
No, if he likes the Omega father that much, why hasn’t he visited me once in the hospital? Is it a case of “wife and children are separate”? For some reason, I felt a surge of dissatisfaction.
“I feel like you’ve become a bit cold lately. Did I do something wrong?”
“I’m the same as always. It’s just your imagination.”
“Really? You’ve been prickly lately, and you keep avoiding the bedroom—is that also just my imagination?”
“There were things I had to attend to recently. I feel sorry about that. It’ll get better once things at the art gallery quiet down.”
“So you can’t even spare one night for me? It’s not like I’m paying for a companion right now; we’re a married couple! Are you saying work is more important than I am?”
It felt strange to be eavesdropping on someone else’s private conversation, and even stranger that those people were my parents. I felt as if I were stealing a glance at an adult magazine I shouldn’t be seeing.
Today is not the day. Just as I turned to leave, the Alpha father’s hardened voice drifted out from inside.
“Stop it.”
“Are you… seeing another Alpha?”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“I’m asking if you’re screwing around with some other guy behind my back! There’s someone frequenting the gallery, isn’t there? Huh? Otherwise, there’s no way you’d treat me like this. Tell me straight, who is it?”
“Don’t say such ridiculous things.”
“Otherwise, there’s no reason for you to reject me like this. After everything I’ve done for you. I gave you everything you wanted, and yet you reject me?”
If they keep refusing intimacy, someone might actually get murdered. I wondered if fists would start flying.
Feeling inexplicably anxious, I unconsciously hammered on the door—thump, thump. The intention to knock politely had been forgotten less than a minute after I’d made it.
“Wha—what is it?”
“Father, it’s me. Soo-kyung. May I come in?”
“Tomorrow…”
“Come in.”
Cutting off the agitated Alpha father, the Omega father’s permission was heard. I opened the door without hesitation and saw the two fathers standing awkwardly in the bedroom.
“What is it at this hour?”
The Alpha father asked in a voice full of displeasure. Well, it was understandable. Still, I couldn’t just leave when things were going so strangely. If he thought of it as me preventing a situation where he might have committed a crime, he might feel grateful, but he probably wouldn’t think of it that way.
“It’s about the medication I’m taking. As I mentioned at the hospital, I don’t think I need to take the medicine anymore. Chief Cha doesn’t seem to believe me, so I’d like you to tell him.”
“Let’s talk about that tomorrow.”
For now, the Alpha father kept insisting on tomorrow, as if he wanted to get rid of me. I gave the Omega father a look that asked, Is it really okay to do that?
“Chief Cha is waiting upstairs. Please go and tell him a word, Father.”
“…Alright, let’s go talk. I’ll be right back. Please wait a moment.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’ll be back soon.”
I don’t know what meaning the Alpha father found in the Omega father’s words, but his face instantly brightened.
Is this some kind of marital dialogue I can’t understand? There was no sign of consent anywhere, but it seemed there was some kind of telepathy between the fathers. If I had known, I wouldn’t have intruded and ruined the mood.
“Let’s go.”
The Omega father led me out of the bedroom. Through the closing door, I saw the Alpha father’s back as he entered the bedroom’s bathroom.
“I shouldn’t have saved him.”
“What?”
“The atmosphere was a bit strange. I was actually debating whether to go or not and almost just left. But it seemed like things were getting violent. Domestic violence is dangerous, after all.”
At my words, Father slightly frowned.
“That is not something for you to worry about.”
“I suppose so. Since it’s between a husband and wife. I guess I was overstepping.”
“…Still, it wasn’t bad.”
Having said that, Father walked down the hallway toward the stairs. I’m not sure when the timing for a compliment was, but either way, they are strange people.
“So, do you really think you can stop taking the medicine?”
“What did the doctor say? You had another consultation before discharge. Does he still say I have depression?”
“He said you’ve gotten better. Even I don’t think it’s depression. Still, we don’t know when the symptoms might reappear.”
At least the doctor wasn’t a quack. If he had still insisted it was depression, I might have gone there and grabbed him by the collar; I was glad I didn’t have to cause such an unpleasant scene.
“I don’t think it’ll happen, but if it does, I can just take the medicine then. I’m not going to take medicine for depression that might not even appear when I don’t even have depression.”
At my words, Father turned around while climbing the stairs and looked down at me following behind. I tilted my head back to meet his gaze. Cold eyes, devoid of emotion, scanned my face.
“Can you figure out the estimate just by looking at me like that?”
“You’ve really… changed a lot.”
“Is Father always the same? If I were my old self, I think I would have been very hurt by this personality.”
“Hurt?”
“You’re cold. Chilly. Parents are supposed to be beings who embrace their children, but it feels like there’s no one in this house who embraces me.”
At my words, Father’s eyes crinkled as he gave a sweet smile. Searching through my memories, it was a smile I had never seen before. Because that face was so unfamiliar, I could only stare at him blankly.
“If you are aware of that with your current personality, there’s no way depression will come to you.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means it’s a desirable development.”
Lightly brushing my cheek with his fingertips, Father turned back and continued up the stairs. Watching his receding back, I was confused whether the fact that he just stroked my cheek was reality or if I was dreaming with my eyes open.
“Welcome back.”
“Yes, I’m coming.”
I gave up on thinking, and as I headed to my room, I saw Chief Cha standing face-to-face with Father, having waited patiently.
“It seems Soo-kyung can stop taking the medicine, so I’d like you to focus your attention on other things from now on.”
“If you say ‘other things,’ may I ask what you mean?”
“Help him adjust to the house and explain the parts he doesn’t remember. Since pheromone management seems difficult, keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t forget his suppressants. I trust that Chief Cha will handle things on his end so that even if Soo-kyung’s behavior changes slightly from before, no strange rumors will circulate.”
“I understand, Madam.”
“I have things to discuss with Soo-kyung, so please leave first.”
“Yes, Madam.”
It was this simple, and I felt sad remembering how I’d put on a show of throwing away the medicine behind Chief Cha’s back. I should have just told Father from the start.
As I was regretting it internally, Father called me to sit down. The composition of us sitting on the bed and chair respectively was similar to the previous situation. I felt a bit nervous, wondering what Father wanted to tell me.
“I received a text notification for card usage today.”
Ah, damn. It seems the card usage history is sent via text. My face turned sour, and Father waved his hand lightly with a look that said it was no big deal.
“I’m not going to scold you for using the card. I’m just curious what you suddenly spent it on. It’s not exactly a small amount to pay all at once. Since it hasn’t been long since you were discharged, think of it as me asking out of concern. There won’t be a next time I ask like this.”
“That…”
“That?”
“I went to a jewelry store and bought a gold bar. I just wanted one.”
“…”
Father was silent for a moment at my response. I suppose the scale was a bit large for something bought just because I wanted one. It’s not like I bought a toy at a stationery store. I stole a glance at Father’s reaction.
“I’m just glad the limit was enough. Since you didn’t usually spend much money—that is, before the accident—I hadn’t increased the limit.”
To think the limit that wasn’t increased was this high; that in itself was a surprising story. I nodded with a blank face.
“Do you remember the card you used today? That’s the card I gave you. The other card is the one the hospital director gave you. That one probably has a slightly higher limit. He doesn’t receive text notifications for the history and doesn’t check it often, so feel free to use it without burden.”
“…Really?”
“This isn’t a very funny topic to joke about. Use it to your heart’s content. The problem until now was that you didn’t spend enough; there’s never been a problem with you spending too much.”
“Still, the old me and the current me are a bit different… if you tell me to use it like that and then get hit with a card bomb, you might change your mind.”
What if I went and said I’d buy the whole jewelry store? Of course, I couldn’t buy a jewelry store with a credit card. But if I used it up to the limit of a card whose amount I didn’t even know, things might change.
“Then just think of it as spending the money you didn’t use until now. You’re still far from spending as much as your Hyungs did.”
Is it okay to spend as much as my Hyungs did? The Omega father isn’t a concubine, but he is a second wife, so children from the first wife and children from the second wife might be different. If I spent wildly and the Alpha father got angry…
“You don’t need to worry needlessly. You are more than entitled to it.”
As if he knew my concerns, Father spoke with a smile. Seeing Father speak as if spending fifty million won in a day wasn’t even surprising, I saw the image of a truly wealthy person. Moreover, I was surprised to see both the feeling of how much could you possibly spend and the feeling of it’s really okay no matter how much you spend.
“Just because I’m your child?”
Just because I’m a child, I can spend a card with an unknown limit recklessly? Even today, I bought a useless gold bar just because I wanted it, and he doesn’t even scold me for that? It was a scale of household that was truly incomprehensible.
“Because you are my child. Use it more without worrying about what others think. No one will say anything to you. Ah, go and buy one more with the hospital director’s card tomorrow. You said you wanted it so much; would you be satisfied with just one?”
I had actually planned to buy one every time the card limit reset. Since he’s pushing me like this, I don’t know how to react.
I smiled awkwardly, and Father lightly stroked my hair before standing up.
“You don’t have to worry about money. Unlike me, you’ll be able to have both money and background.”
“The family background? Even so, when I went to the gathering, everyone was just bragging about their family. It’s not even their own achievement or their own job. Every time they introduce themselves, they say whose child or whose grandson they are; they introduce their parents instead of themselves. They seemed like people who didn’t even know that was embarrassing.”
“If you found that embarrassing, you must be truly normal.”
Father said that and quietly left my room. Recalling Father’s last words, I felt a bit puzzled.
Does Father think so too? Everyone spoke and acted as if their family was their name and their everything, so I thought I was the one who couldn’t adapt to the world of the rich. Was I not the strange one?
It felt like I had seen an unexpected side of Father for once. I thought Father, who always insisted on etiquette, manners, refinement, dignity, and elegance, was someone living in a different world. His spending habits are still on a scale I can’t adapt to.
But in some strange ways, his way of thinking seems somewhat similar to mine.
There is certainly too much in this house that I do not know.