By Zephyria 
—It seems her condition is getting worse. The old man has practically been living at the hospital lately. Even when he goes home, he comes back shortly after. There’s a chance you might run into him.
Though she didn’t give a detailed explanation, the caregiver had subtly informed me of the situation, perhaps because she was quick to grasp the circumstances.
Indeed, having provided care for over three years, she must have found it suspicious that no family members other than the Grandfather and Father had shown their faces. Moreover, since there was a confidentiality agreement, she likely guessed there was some hidden story.
For about a week after the first visit, I went to see her every day. I don’t know how much money Kwon Yi-kang sent, but it was thanks to the caregiver sending updates that were more detailed than expected.
From when the Grandfather arrived and left, to predictions that he probably wouldn’t return since he had stayed for several hours, to warnings that there was a risk of running into him if he mentioned returning in the evening. She even occasionally relayed conversations between the doctor and the Grandfather, to the point where I could know the woman’s condition without a formal consultation with the doctor.
Money really is terrifying. Although I intended it, I realized the power of money anew.
Since she wasn’t in a state to open her eyes, move her body, or speak, it was impossible to tell how the situation was just by looking at her lying there dependent on an oxygen mask. I had simply thought she was very ill, but it seemed it was much worse than I imagined.
During the week I was coming and going, I often saw the doctor come in to check her condition and perform treatments. I felt the frequency was increasing, and it seemed her condition worsened after that, which is why the Grandfather was sticking by her side.
Kwon Yi-kang simply nodded quietly upon hearing the news, but as time passed, feelings of anxiety would appear and disappear on his face.
There are people who have never done it, but there are no people who do it only once.
That phrase suddenly came to mind. This applies to anything. Cigarettes, alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, violence. The emotions people feel in life are vulnerable to addiction.
A mother he had never met in his life until now. Longing for her, resenting her, and yet longing for her again. Having finally faced the object of those overwhelming emotions, Kwon Yi-kang was shaken by feelings even stronger than before he met her. Just by watching from the side, I could tell his inner turmoil was intense.
While feeling sorry and grateful toward me, Kwon Yi-kang continued to visit the woman steadily for a week. Though they couldn’t converse, he couldn’t show himself to her, and she didn’t even know of his existence. Nevertheless, Kwon Yi-kang was satisfied with the mere fact that he could see her.
But if that was a dream for a week. Could he go back to the time when he hadn’t met her? He would likely experience an even greater sense of loss.
Should I visit the room even if it meant clashing with the Grandfather? If she suddenly passed away, would Kwon Yi-kang be able to handle that loss?
Tap, tap. I bit my nail, pondering what would be best for Kwon Yi-kang. The Grandfather and Father weren’t even subjects of my concern. No matter what they thought or felt, the only thing that mattered to me was Kwon Yi-kang.
A sharp phone ring sounded, as if waking me from my distant thoughts.
There are times in life when a person faces a “hunch.” Even for a dull person, there’s a moment when they feel something. When the heart sinks or beats unusually fast. When a heavy feeling, like thick air, presses down from the head.
As if mocking my hesitation to move, the phone continued to ring. I reluctantly reached out and picked up the phone.
“Hello.”
—It’s me. Gosh, why did you take so long to answer?
Whispering. It was the caregiver scolding me in a lowered voice. Since we had mostly exchanged texts and rarely spoken on the phone, it felt even more unusual.
“What is it?”
—I think you should come to the hospital.
“Is Grandfather not there?”
—No, the old man has been at the hospital since the day before yesterday. He hasn’t even been going home lately. More importantly, they say today is the critical moment.
Even if I had expected it, the shock of having it confirmed as a fact was not diminished. I let out a small sigh at the caregiver’s words.
—From what I can see, she’s barely holding on. It seems it’ll be very hard to get through today. I know it’s awkward to run into the old man, but I thought you should be there for the end. The old man might be angry, but you have to witness the final moment. That way, no regrets remain in the hearts of the living.
“I agree. One shouldn’t live their whole life with regrets in their heart.”
The person who should be regretting is someone else, but in the end, that regret will fall to Kwon Yi-kang. There is the one who commits the sin, and the one who must regret it. Why is it that the damage is always borne by someone else? This household, this bloodline, is the problem.
“Thank you for telling me. I should get going.”
—Don’t mention it. Just don’t tell him I was the one who contacted you. As far as anyone knows, I have no idea about this.
“Yes, I know. I’ll thank you properly later; I’m in a hurry, so I’ll hang up now.”
—Alright.
I hung up the phone and opened the wardrobe to change my clothes. After grabbing my wallet, I left the house and contacted Kwon Yi-kang while waiting for the elevator.
—Hello.
“Are you working?”
—Of course. Did you think I’d be playing around while leaving you alone?
He joked as usual, but his voice sounded drained. Hiding my pity, I paused to choose my words.
“Your mother… it seems her condition is very poor. They said today is the critical window. You should give her your final goodbyes.”
Beating around the bush wouldn’t make the situation any better. It would be more helpful for him to grasp the situation and steady his heart if I were honest. Suppressing the turmoil in my chest, I continued in a calm voice.
“I’m leaving now. I’ll take a taxi, so come straight to the hospital. I’ll be waiting at the main entrance.”
I stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. I pressed the close button with a force that strained my fingertips.
“Kwon Yi-kang. Get a grip.”
—…Right.
“I’ll see you at the hospital entrance.”
—Okay. I’m leaving now.
Holding the disconnected phone in my hand, I leaned my forehead against the elevator door. I didn’t know why my heart was racing so much in the face of the death of a woman with whom I had no connection.
It wasn’t that I feared the woman’s death; I was terrified that Kwon Yi-kang might collapse because of it. I hated the emotions of Kwon Yi-kang that I didn’t know, the weak side of him I didn’t know, and the sight of him grieving and despairing. I didn’t want to watch him go through that.
Even while taking the taxi to the hospital, and while waiting for Kwon Yi-kang at the entrance, I kept growing anxious. I tapped the toes of my shoes against the ground, picked at the skin around my nails, and bit my lip, suppressing the pressure in my chest.
“You arrived early. I could have picked you up; why did you come first?”
Kwon Yi-kang spoke, lightly tapping the crown of my head as I stood bowed. I looked up and forced a strained smile. Contrary to my worries, Kwon Yi-kang’s face was surprisingly calm.
“Let’s go.”
I stared at his outstretched hand before grasping it. It was still warm. Seeking that familiar warmth, I squeezed his hand and stepped into the elevator.
After taking the express elevator to the VIP floor, I signaled to a staff member whose eyes met mine. Having become a familiar face over the past week, the staff member naturally opened the door to the room I was visiting.
I offered a small internal apology, thinking that a storm might break out after today.
The hallway was more bustling than usual. I saw a doctor and a nurse waiting in front of Room 1. Upon noticing us approaching, the attending physician frowned with a troubled expression.
“I heard Grandfather is inside.”
“It would be better not to visit today…”
“I heard she’s in critical condition. What if she passes away? Can you guarantee she’ll survive? Who takes responsibility if we miss the final moment? You?”
“The Chairman does not know you’ve been visiting. So even now…”
“Forget it. Even if a scene breaks out, I have to see her first.”
I pushed past the doctor and opened the door to the room. I wondered if it was just my imagination or the proximity of death that made the heavy air feel different than usual.
Step by step. I entered the room and approached the bed. I saw Grandfather sitting in a chair by the bedside, holding the woman’s hand with his head bowed. Sensing our presence, Grandfather looked up and his eyes widened in shock upon seeing me and Kwon Yi-kang.
“You… how did you get here…!”
“I heard your daughter is critical. I thought I should be here for the end.”
“This is no place for you. Get out!”
“Not me. I wonder if she’ll recognize his face. This is Kwon Yi-kang. The child of the Chairman of Hwang Seong Group. …Your daughter’s son.”
“You!”
Grandfather bolted upright from his seat and strode toward us with a roar.
“Get out this instant! How dare you show your face here! Who do you think caused Hee-ryeon to end up like this? Who!”
Grandfather screamed at the top of his lungs, grabbing Kwon Yi-kang by the collar and shaking him. With an expressionless face and downcast eyes, Kwon Yi-kang said nothing.
I squeezed between them and shoved Grandfather away with force. Perhaps not expecting my action, Grandfather stumbled back a couple of steps and glared at me.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done? How dare you bring this bastard here!”
“Do you even know what you’ve done, Grandfather? Do you really think you know who caused her to end up like this? It was all because of you. Do you truly not know that and still blame others?”
“What did you say? That beast of a man who seduced my precious child into pregnancy! That man’s bloodline, that man’s child! They should have all just died. To think you’d hold your head high and crawl all the way here to defile my child’s final moments!”
“Grandfather. Stop joking. Does a woman get pregnant alone? Your daughter got caught up in love and heart, and that’s why she got pregnant. The one who forcibly dragged back a woman who left home to live together was you…”
Slap. A hand flew toward me. I had expected this. I swept the inside of my cheek with my tongue, rubbing the torn flesh where my tooth had caught it.
I gripped the phone in my hand and swung it. With a thud, the old man’s face snapped slightly to the side. Even though he was old, it seemed the durability of an Alpha’s body didn’t diminish. Instead, perhaps shocked by the mental blow, Grandfather looked at me with a vacant expression.
“You… you just…”
“That’s why I told you to stop using your hands. I told you to fix that habit.”
Kwon Yi-kang, who had also been stunned, pulled me back. Since it looked like he wanted to take the hit for me because he hated seeing me get hurt, I shook off his hand and stepped forward again.
I couldn’t stand the thought of Kwon Yi-kang getting hit. I’d rather be the one hit and the one hitting. He’s too soft-hearted; he wouldn’t even be able to hit an old man. It’s better that I, who already landed a blow, remain the bastard until the end.
“Grandfather. I’m genuinely curious. Why did she become a vegetable? You were the one who locked her in the house. What kind of accident happens to a person locked inside a house that turns them into a vegetable? Even if she slit her wrists to die, she’d either die or live; she wouldn’t become a vegetable. …Did you push her down the stairs or something?”
“What nonsense is this!”
I hadn’t realized it when I first heard, but the more I thought about it, the stranger it became.
She was locked up so she couldn’t go anywhere. Hidden so thoroughly that no one knew, to the point that even family members were unaware of her existence. He wouldn’t have locked her up just to kill her, so it must have been an accident, but what accident happens to someone trapped in a house?
Moreover, the timing was subtle. It wasn’t when she was dragged back after leaving home, nor when she was pregnant, nor after she gave birth and sent the child away. After nearly twenty years of silence, a random accident fifteen years ago. As if something had happened then.
“What did you do to her? Why did a person who was fine even after having her child stolen suddenly have an accident fifteen years ago and end up lying here like this?”
“It’s all because of that bastard. That damn bastard. That root of all evil!”
“Now who is blaming whom…”
“If only that boy hadn’t come looking for her… Hee-ryeon wouldn’t have lost her mind and caused a scene again. He brought the calamity. He…”
Ah, come to think of it, he mentioned that in high school, he had visited Grandfather after hearing stories about his mother. The timing was similar.
“Hee-ryeon, my child… why, because of people like that, my child… Tearing a parent’s heart apart, jumping to commit suicide. What are people like that to her…”
Grandfather collapsed and wailed, but I felt no pity. I only felt bitterness at Grandfather’s selfishness, blaming Kwon Yi-kang and his father until the very end.
“Grandfather, you find your own child appalling, but do you think your daughter didn’t find her own child appalling too?”
He is a selfish old man to the end. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong; he just sits there blaming others even as his children die off.
I wanted to drag this old man, who knew nothing of reflection, all the way down to the bottom. I wanted to carve into his very bones the malice that told him to open his eyes and see reality: that he was the one who killed his child.
“Your daughter is dying soon.”
“No. She won’t die. My child cannot die like this! My child won’t die! Do you know how she endured? How she endured for fifteen years!”
“It’s probably because you wouldn’t let her die. Just as you dragged her back and locked her up when she said she hated it, you kept her barely breathing when she wanted to die. Even if she really endured for fifteen years in that state, it wouldn’t have been because of you. She probably did it because she wanted to see her child’s face one last time; do you think she did it because she wanted to see you?”
Who would want that? What was so beautiful about it? I scoffed, telling him to throw away his ridiculous self-satisfaction. As Grandfather bolted up to attack, Kwon Yi-kang stepped forward and pushed him back with force.
“You damn bastards! You dogs! Get out! Get out of my child’s room this instant!”
“You’re really a nuisance until the very end of her journey. If I were her, I’d die too because I’d hate a parent like you. I’d have died a hundred times over! What help did you ever provide in her life?”
I raised my voice toward the screaming Grandfather. I shouted until my throat tore, begging him to wake up.
“Giving birth, feeding, clothing, and raising her? Orphanages do that too. Thinking you can manipulate a child’s life just because you gave birth to them is selfishness. A child isn’t an animal; why do you manipulate them as you please? Why did you tear her away from the person she loved and separate her from the child she bore? How is that any different from a dog you keep at home? How is it different from breeding a high-pedigree dog and selling the pups!”
Could he not imagine that his child had the same heart for her own child as he did for his? I don’t know how a person could be so self-centered and selfish.
If it’s hard to think from another’s perspective, you could just assume others think similarly to you and find the answer. This old man simply only cares about himself. He is a human who lives alone.
“Murderer.”
I drove the final nail into the drained old man.
“You killed her. That precious child you claim to love, you killed her with your own hands. You ruined your child’s life and you killed her.”
I grabbed Kwon Yi-kang and sat him in the chair where Grandfather had been, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t be a nuisance until the end. If you do, she won’t be able to close her eyes even in death. If you have a conscience, let the child you killed with your own hands go in peace for once.”
Don’t do anything, don’t say anything, just stand there quietly and watch. See clearly and remember exactly what the final moments look like for the child whose life you slowly strangled for thirty-four years.
Since he was no longer worth a glance, I turned away. I looked down at the woman who was breathing heavily, making wheezing sounds as she relied on the machine. Her face, yellowed and coarsened over the last few days, was literally wretched. It was the look of someone facing death.
I carefully took her hand and slid Kwon Yi-kang’s hand beneath mine. The warmth was faint in the skeletal hand buried between our two.
“Auntie. …Your son is here. I brought him because I thought you’d want to see him. Auntie, I know you can hear my voice. I saw it in a drama. Talk to your son. It might be the last time, so take it slow.”
I didn’t know the inner details of whether she had her son stolen from her or if she had eventually given up and let him go. Still, there must be some affection for her child. If she had fallen into this state after throwing a fit to die because she couldn’t see the son who had grown up and come to find her… she would want to hear her child’s voice on her final journey.
I signaled Kwon Yi-kang to speak, but he couldn’t easily open his mouth. Just quietly holding the woman’s hand in his, unable to utter a single word with trembling lips, Kwon Yi-kang looked like a helpless child.
“Say goodbye. …Go on.”
It’s okay. Everything is okay.
Holding and stroking his cold, pale cheek, I whispered tenderly, just as he always had for me. Just as he had whispered to me and given me strength whenever I needed it.
“…Mother.”
A single tear fell at the one word he managed to squeeze out. I ignored the tears of the man who always seemed so steadfast.
“Mother. Mother.”
Bowing his head and pressing his forehead against the woman’s hand, Kwon Yi-kang called her incessantly. Like a child who only knew that one word, he simply called her piteously.
“I missed you. I really… missed you.”
The man rubbing his face against his mother’s hand looked like a child, no matter his age. The sight of a man seeking love, acting spoiled, and weeping while clinging to a hand was unfamiliar, but not unpleasant to see.
“Now… you may go in peace.”
As if the words were a key unlocking a shackle, the moment Kwon Yi-kang’s voice echoed in the quiet room, a sharp electronic sound followed from the machine. Beep—. At the sound that rang in the ears like a high frequency, the doctors waiting outside the room rushed in.
“No, no! No, my child. Hee-ryeon! Hee-ryeon—!”
Grandfather rushed over and hugged the body of the woman whose eyes were closed. The woman’s body, lifted halfway into the air, went limp.
“No. You can’t die like this! Where are you going, leaving your father behind? Huh? You have to hold on. You should have held on a bit longer! Hee-ryeon!”
I had always thought of him as less than human, but for the first time, I felt I was seeing a human side of him. He was more human now than the Alpha father who hadn’t shed a single tear while holding funerals for the eldest and second sons, but remembering what he had done to others, to Kwon Yi-kang, he was simply trash that looked human.
“Ms. Cha Hee-ryeon passed away at approximately 14:20 hours.”
As the pronouncement of death fell, Grandfather let out a beast-like wail.
“No! My child isn’t dead. Our Hee-ryeon isn’t dead! Bring her back. Bring her back, you incompetent fools! If you’re doctors, you should save her. You should save even the dead! Bring her back! Bring my child back!”
Holding his dead child in his arms, Grandfather screamed until his throat burst. I stared blankly at the woman’s hand, swinging powerlessly in the air.
The death of a woman I had never spoken to, and the wails of a grandfather crying over his child’s death, were both stories from another country to me. I was only worried about Kwon Yi-kang, who sat quietly and gazed at the dead woman.
I knew that asking if he was okay or offering comfort wouldn’t help him. I simply stood there and held Kwon Yi-kang’s hand.
In the span of less than two months, I could sufficiently guess the meaning behind the gazes watching a family hold three funerals without even hearing it in words. They were probably saying that a greater curse had fallen upon the house than during the eldest son’s funeral.
Since I killed Cha Baek-joo with my own hands, it had nothing to do with a curse, but after holding funerals one after another, I wondered if this household really was cursed. I never imagined there would be such a string of deaths. To think of it as paying for sins, the deceased mother of Kwon Yi-kang is too pitiful.
Ignoring the gazes of the people, I scanned the scene of the funeral hall. Despite having kept her locked up for over thirty years and keeping it so quiet that people had forgotten her, the funeral was held with great pomp.
The line of condolence wreaths was longer than for the second son, and even longer than for the eldest. They filled both sides of the funeral hall corridor, and some were just ribbons hung up because there was no more space. Even now, condolence wreaths continued to arrive.
The old man, who hadn’t shown a trace of sadness during his grandsons’ funerals, had reportedly collapsed from crying, and it seemed people had guessed which funeral they should put more effort into. Father, standing in the place of the chief mourner in stead of the collapsed Grandfather, looked gloomy.
I might have to hold one more funeral soon.
I know I shouldn’t think this way about a human life, but I felt that old man might have been better off dying sooner. He really did carve deep wounds into other people’s hearts. I haven’t lived a perfectly virtuous life either, but at least I know that I’m a bad person. I’m not as thick-skinned as that old man.
I ascended to the altar with Kwon Yi-kang. We lit incense and bowed in unison. I rose after exchanging bows with my Alpha father, who stood guarding the spot in place of the collapsed chief mourner. A faint trace of anger seeped into my father’s face as he looked at me and Kwon Yi-kang.
“To think you’d have the nerve to show your face here. I suppose you thought everything would be settled if you just pushed your way in, relying on my son.”
“Anyone listening would think I’m some incredibly important person. Why would he rely on me to come? I just came because it’s not a place I’m forbidden from attending. I wonder who the truly shameless one is. If Kwon Yi-kang were as shameless as you, Father, I wouldn’t have a single worry.”
Having spent a few months with him, I’ve actually become worried. It’s truly hard to survive in this world for someone so kind, gentle, and good-natured. Even with the business card of being a child of the Hwang Seong Group, I’ve never seen him act arrogant. He must have kept his mouth shut so tightly that I only found out when I brought him home to introduce him to my family.
If I were Kwon Yi-kang, I would have found a way to shut this damn hospital down long ago and taken my estranged mother back by force if necessary.
A kind man, a man so kind it’s pitiful. That is exactly who Kwon Yi-kang is. Shameless? What shamelessness? The one who is shameless is my father, who is still acting confident without knowing his own faults.
“You! I heard about what happened earlier. You actually managed to sway Grandfather. You have absolutely no remorse. Come home this instant. Since when does an aged Omega leave home? Come back quickly before rumors spread. Now that Hee-ryeon is dead, there is no longer any connection to that fellow’s family, nor any intention of forming one.”
Wow, fuck. I never thought I’d be called “aged” at twenty. I let out a hollow laugh and stared blankly at my father.
“Why is there no connection? There are connections that remain, and connections to be made. There’s plenty. Stop shouting and get some rest if you’re tired. I’ll stay behind.”
“This brat continues to…”
“If you’re tired, why don’t you hand over the role of chief mourner? Since Grandfather is passed out, honestly, it makes more sense for Kwon Yi-kang to be the chief mourner than you.”
“You, can’t you shut your mouth?”
“Please calm down, Father.”
Kwon Yi-kang stepped in front of my father, who was glancing at the mourners and reprimanding me in a low, disgusted tone, and spoke softly.
“I have no greed for the position of chief mourner. There is a different position I desire. It would be a headache if the family tree got tangled, wouldn’t it? Let’s not raise our voices too much.”
“You, you two really…”
“Now, please sit down and rest. If you collapse too, Soo-kyung will have to fill that spot, and it would be too taxing for Soo-kyung’s stamina.”
Kwon Yi-kang spoke as if he were worried about my father, pulling me into his embrace as if to show off, but his true intentions were transparent.
He’s quite something once he opens up.
As I let out a giggle at this new side of Kwon Yi-kang, my father gave a short, commanding order: “Get out.”
“If your business is done, leave. Stop grating on my nerves and get out.”
“We’re family, so we should keep the spot together. Having a prospective son-in-law here must be reassuring, right? Since the family has shrunk so much, having even one more person would be a comfort.”
I stepped confidently to my father’s side. When I pulled Kwon Yi-kang’s arm to make him stand next to me, my father, who had been glaring, hurriedly shut his mouth upon seeing mourners entering.
A mourner, who had bowed and approached to offer condolences, glanced at me and Kwon Yi-kang.
“Director Cha, you’re going through a lot. If you hold on even through the hardship, good news will come. Is the Chairman still bedridden?”
“Yes, it seems my father is finally running out of strength. He cherished Hee-ryeon so much, after all.”
“Still, he must find strength. Otherwise, truly unpleasant rumors will circulate. I’m sure Director Cha is struggling as well, but stay strong.”
“Yes, thank you.”
He was an old man my father was speaking with attentively; I wondered who he was. Since everyone coming to pay their respects was an old person, there were no familiar faces. Actually, I wouldn’t have recognized them even if they were young, but at least the atmosphere of the funeral hall would have been fresher. With only old people swarming, the air felt stagnant.
“Is that the youngest son next to you? I heard he’s twenty now.”
“Yes, only that brat is left. I thought I could finally breathe a sigh of relief after barely raising three children.”
“That’s a pity. The last remaining child must be married off soon. I heard he’s an Omega. Come to think of it, my second grandson doesn’t have a partner yet. Let them meet sometime when you have a moment.”
“Yes, I will contact you once things settle down a bit.”
Oh, is this a spot sale instead of an auction? They’re talking about buying and selling me right while I’m standing right there. Instead of a sneer, I gave a knowing smile with a face that pretended to know nothing.
“But the one next to him…”
“You don’t need to worry about him.”
“He’s the prospective son-in-law. Since bad things kept happening, we couldn’t hold a wedding, so they’re cohabitating first.”
It was impossible not to notice him. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and his face alone commanded presence; not seeing him would be akin to being blind. My father waved his hand dismissively, but I quickly cut in to introduce Kwon Yi-kang.
“I am Kwon Yi-kang, Assemblyman Baek. I believe I greeted you at the New Year’s party.”
They knew each other? My intention was simply to tell the man that he was “off the market,” but I didn’t know they were acquainted. Still, they weren’t very close; the old man narrowed his eyes at Kwon Yi-kang’s words for a moment before letting out a belated “Ah.”
“Right, I remember. Aren’t you Director Kwon of Hwang Seong? Is your father doing well?”
“He’s the same as always. He pushes all the work onto me and enjoys his leisure.”
“Wasn’t the group built by Chairman Kwon’s own hard work? He deserves some rest. It’s too early to step back completely, but it seems he’s gradually preparing to hand things over to Director Kwon.”
“That’s also too early. My father has started too many projects.”
“Actually, I have a few Omega grandsons who have come of age, and I thought they wouldn’t be embarrassing to present to Director Kwon. I suppose I’m a step too late. What a shame, a real shame.”
No, this old geezer was trying to reach out to Kwon Yi-kang too? I glared slightly at the old man, who was smacking his lips as if disappointed while looking at me and Kwon Yi-kang. I wonder how many grandchildren he’s sired, as he seems to be walking around trading bloodlines everywhere.
After the old man muttered “what a shame” several times and disappeared, I poked Kwon Yi-kang in the ribs with my elbow.
“Must be nice to be so popular?”
“Even so, you’re the only person who likes me.”
“So you had no choice because it was just me?”
“Right, I misspoke. Even so, you’re the only person I like.”
I decided to be generous and let it slide due to his quick apology. My Alpha father glared disapprovingly at us as we leaned our heads together and giggled, but with the constant stream of mourners, he couldn’t find the timing to criticize and spent his time bowing until his knees wore out.
“Contact your father too. It’s the end, so he should come.”
“I don’t know.”
Kwon Yi-kang avoided the answer, his thoughts unclear.
“Whether he comes or not is your father’s choice, but you should give him the opportunity. Contact him.”
“…Alright.”
“If he says he’ll come, let’s step away for a bit.”
“Why?”
“It’s not that I’m scared, but some things are better exploded all at once, and some are better exploded one by one. In my opinion, if my problems get mixed in here, it’ll get really noisy.”
For some reason, there was a high possibility that Kwon Yi-kang’s father had realized my identity at the point when my eldest brother died. Still, one can’t be too careful.
I didn’t say it, but I thought, The later the time you get kicked out of the company, the better. Kwon Yi-kang, as if sensing my inner thoughts, clicked his tongue.
“What are you two talking about. This is a funeral, you should be quiet.”
My Omega father, who had been away for a moment, came out of the family room and stood between my Alpha father and me, scolding us.
“It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, hello. I heard you’ve been doing well. You didn’t have to come to a place like this, you’ve gone through a lot.”
Kwon Yi-kang, who hadn’t shown his face at the funerals of the younger or older brothers, suddenly appeared at the funeral of a sister-in-law he’d never met, leaving my Omega father with a lukewarm expression. Not just Kwon Yi-kang, but the situation of a sister-in-law he’d never seen and her funeral must be quite awkward.
“Go and contact him.”
“Right. I’ll make a call and come back.”
“Alright.”
As I watched Kwon Yi-kang’s back as he strode out of the altar area, my Omega father lightly tapped my fingertips.
“I’ve thought about it.”
“About what?”
“What you said last time. Asking if your father had other siblings. It seems you’ve known since then.”
“Unlike my father, I have a lot of interest in this household.”
Even if he lacked interest, his memory was good; it seemed he remembered the casual question.
“You’re suffering in your old age. Having funerals one after another is quite a task.”
“I appreciate the concern, but do you have to point out that I’m old?”
“Forty isn’t an old age. I’m sorry.”
He certainly isn’t very old. If anything, the one who is older is my Alpha father. Looking at my Alpha father and Omega father, the age gap between them seems even larger than the one between me and my Omega father.
“There’s no set order for leaving, it’s truly unpredictable. The oldest man is holding on, while those below him are dying off one by one.”
“Watch your mouth.”
“Others probably think the same. That’s why they say there’s a curse or whatever. Imagine if Grandfather had passed away first. They’d call it a peaceful death.”
I gazed at the portrait. I didn’t know when it was taken, but the expressionless face without a trace of a smile looked sad. It was probably taken after he broke up with Kwon Yi-kang, but before the accident that left him in a vegetative state.
“He’s a truly pitiful person.”
“I heard he passed away after much suffering.”
“He must have suffered greatly in body and mind. And all because of his own family. I don’t know why the person who actually should die doesn’t, and instead stays healthy and torments so many people.”
“What are you talking about?”
I let out a small laugh toward my Omega father, who tilted his head in confusion.
“When you develop an interest in this household, ask my Alpha father. You’ll regret marrying into such a filthy family.”
“…I don’t do things like regret. There is no regret. Never.”
My Omega father responded firmly and seriously to my words, which I had spoken like a joke. He’s probably acting that way because he doesn’t know the situation, but when he gets that serious, it makes it feel like I’ve said something I shouldn’t have.
What kind of faith does he have in this household to say he won’t regret it without knowing the situation? I didn’t even become a member of this family by my own choice, yet I’m the one who feels regret.
“If there’s nothing to regret, that’s good. I think it’s better if you just stay unaware, Father.”
Just then, Kwon Yi-kang, who seemed to have finished his call, approached and fell silent. I lowered my voice and asked him as he quietly took his place beside me.
“Did you contact him?”
“Yes.”
“Is he coming?”
“Probably. …Since it’s the end.”
“Right, he should see the final departure. Not for the dead, but for the living, that’s better. When is he coming?”
“He said he’s preparing to leave now.”
Kwon Yi-kang’s father had lived alone without ever marrying. There was a high possibility he couldn’t forget my aunt. With those feelings, it wasn’t surprising that he would come immediately upon hearing the news of the funeral.
It was a relief that Grandfather wasn’t around, but I couldn’t imagine what kind of commotion would occur if he met my father. Watching a dogfight is all well and good, but I should definitely avoid the scene.
“Then let’s step away for three or four hours.”
“No.”
“I’m telling you, if I stay here, my problems will get mixed in and the situation will get even noisier.”
“I’m not saying we stay here; I’m saying let’s just go home.”
I looked at Kwon Yi-kang, surprised by the unexpected words. Even if they lived apart, she was still his mother, and since she was someone he had longed for, wouldn’t he want to keep his place at the funeral? Contrary to my expectations, the reason he gave was utterly absurd.
“I can’t push you too hard because of me. Staying here overnight won’t change anything. You’ve had several funerals and a lot of other things going on; you’ll collapse if you stay here.”
The person who looked like they were about to collapse was actually my Omega father. He claimed not to care about the household, but between his work at the gallery and the sudden family problems erupting, his face looked dazed. I’m just an unemployed person playing around at home; shouldn’t he be the one resting?
“If that’s the reason, forget it. I’m not tired.”
“Still, you should sleep at home. You shouldn’t sleep in discomfort.”
If the old Min Jae-hee had heard this, he would have scoffed. I had often slept curled up in a warehouse without floor heating, and many times I had spent the night on the street. Compared to that, a funeral hall was more luxurious than an inn room. Kwon Yi-kang was determined to drag me home.
“It’s not particularly uncomfortable, and I’m fine with being uncomfortable for two or three days. So for now, just do what you want. Don’t think about me.”
“I’m saying let’s go home because I want to do what I want. Because of my greed to take care of you, throwing away the duty of a son, the duty of a child, the duty of a family—all of it.”
I told you that you are the most important. I looked down at the whispering voice. It was because I didn’t want to be caught feeling a pathetic sense of superiority whenever Kwon Yi-kang prioritized me.
Look, the perfect Kwon Yi-kang, whom anyone would covet or fall for, says I’m the most important. The Kwon Yi-kang you all drool over and long for is completely mine.
I needed to hide my expression to suppress the urge to shout in a state of intoxication from victory. I also felt sorry to be looking at the portrait.
“…Alright.”
When I replied in a small, embarrassed voice, Kwon Yi-kang gently took my hand and interlaced our fingers. The parts where Kwon Yi-kang’s long, straight fingers touched mine felt ticklish.
“We’ll be leaving a bit early.”
“Oh, alright.”
My Omega father, who had been standing still, nodded with a lukewarm expression at Kwon Yi-kang’s words.
“…Wouldn’t it be better if Soo-kyung stayed?”
“Soo-kyung seems tired. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
He spoke with a thick face toward my Omega father, who looked far more tired than I did. For some reason, I felt a bit embarrassed to look at my father’s face.
“There’s no need for that…”
“No. I’ll bring Soo-kyung with me tomorrow.”
“Then do that. Thank you.”
There was no particular need to be thankful. Even though he didn’t understand why Kwon Yi-kang was coming along, my father nodded. It was a characteristic of my Omega father to just let things pass without asking, even if he was curious.
“We’ll be heading out now.”
“Get home safely.”
“Father, I’m leaving. You should go home and rest if you’re tired too.”
Without saying a word to my Alpha father, I left the altar after leaving a greeting only for my Omega father. I found my shoes and walked slowly through the hallway filled with condolence wreaths.
“If it was going to be like this, I shouldn’t have eaten earlier.”
We had stopped by the apartment to change into funeral clothes. One might expect him to be anxious or sad, but Kwon Yi-kang had prioritized my meal, out of place for the situation. I arrived late to the funeral because I had forced myself to eat, and if I had known we’d leave this early, I would have just come without eating.
“What are you talking about. You have to eat your meals on time.”
Still, I thought your mother’s funeral should come before a single meal, but Kwon Yi-kang seemed to think differently. His face was firm, as if he had no regrets about the meal we had earlier.
“Take leave tomorrow and the day after. You should see the burial.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. See where she’s buried, and visit once in a while when you think of her. I noticed they don’t put up barricades and restrict access just because it’s a family burial ground.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“I’m saying this because you can’t take care of it. You have too little greed and lack a fighting spirit.”
One must take care of one’s own bowl of rice, but this guy is the type to just hand over the bowl he already has. I can’t be at ease because I feel like he’d starve to death if I didn’t take care of him one by one.
“No greed and no fighting spirit. That’s the first time I’ve heard that.”
“That’s how I see it. I can’t be at ease. I’m anxious that you’ll go somewhere and have everything stripped away from you. You have to claim your own rights. Don’t live your life being pushed around by others. Don’t walk on eggshells. Live doing everything you want to do.”
They say poor people are pushed around because they have nothing, but I don’t know why someone who has so much acts like such a pushover. Is he naturally kind? Or is it because he hasn’t tasted the bitterness of the world yet? I like Kwon Yi-kang’s tenderness, but I also worried about how he’d survive in this world being so kind and good-natured.
“Alright, I got it.”
“You’re good at answering.”
I clicked my tongue while looking at Kwon Yi-kang’s brightly smiling face. He looked like someone completely devoid of vigilance, even after being dealt with by my family. Still, one thing was clear: a handsome face looks definitely good when it smiles.
“I’ll protect you.”
I whispered softly, cupping Kwon Yi-kang’s cheek. Perhaps my voice reached him, as Kwon Yi-kang looked slightly flustered.
I’ll protect you. I’ll bite everyone for you. You might not know, but I’m exceptionally skilled at being a total bastard.
When my fingertips, which had been slightly chilly, grew warm from the heat of his cheek, Kwon Yi-kang let out a low laugh and covered my hand with his.
“Alright.”
∞ ∞ ∞
Grandfather, who had collapsed, barely managed to recover and stand up before the funeral procession. Descending to the funeral hall in a wheelchair, Grandfather wailed loudly in front of the funeral portrait, but knowing who was responsible for all of this, I felt no pity.
The tears he was shedding now were likely closer to self-pity than sorrow for his dead child.
What a selfish man. It’s laughable how he pretends to be the victim until the end, even though the misfortune started with his own hands. Despite being the perfect perpetrator. To say he acted selfishly for the sake of his children—weren’t the children unhappy too? In the end, it was just selfishness for his own satisfaction.
Holding Kwon Yi-kang’s hand, I stared blankly at the back of Grandfather’s head. The back of the old man, who was sobbing and gasping for breath as if he had no strength left, looked exceptionally frail.