By Zephyria 
“What did you talk about?”
“Hmm?”
“I asked what you and your driver talked about, sitting so cozily in the car.”
Kwon Yi-kang asked as he watched Lee Kyung-jin head back into the funeral hall after dropping me off at his car.
“Just stories about life. Why?”
“No, your driver’s expression was a bit…”
“Expression?”
“Never mind. By the way, was it okay for you to leave this early?”
“It’s not like anything comes out of staying the night there.”
Why on earth would I be a ‘good boy’ and keep watch over the funeral? Even if I don’t watch for three whole days, there is zero chance the eldest brother will come back to life. There’s no reason to be there draining my stamina, we weren’t that close, and the reason he’s lying there in the first place is because of me.
Wouldn’t it be more helpful for the dead eldest brother to attain nirvana if I stayed away?
“It might have been fun to watch the family members’ miserable faces, but I wasn’t particularly greedy for it. Somehow, I felt satisfied enough. Grandfather came and picked a fight, too. It’s tiring to clash, so I just left.”
While the other family members spend three days shedding tears, I’m going to stretch my legs and sleep comfortably, only showing up for the burial. Seeing that guy crawl into a grave will at least give me a bit of solace in my life.
For as long as he enjoyed himself while I was miserable and suffering, I will enjoy myself just as much in the time he is gone. That was the conclusion of my revenge.
“They say the family is cursed. People were whispering that they’ve had two funerals in a single month. They wondered if a streak of bad luck hit. I loved it.”
“I’m glad if you loved it.”
“I hope everything collapses. I hope it all breaks and becomes a mess. The eldest one who caused the accident is dead, but the household that backed him up is still intact. I really hope a curse hits them and blows everything to pieces.”
“Sincerly?”
“Sincerely. If the hospital they thought was so great goes bankrupt, the foul-tempered Chairman will just be another old man. And my father, who bragged about being a ‘deep-rooted family’ rather than a deep-rooted tree, will become a man of nothing.”
Actually, I don’t understand what was so great or deep-rooted about it. But since the basis for their pride is this hospital, I hope lightning strikes the hospital building. Or an earthquake. If they’re really cursed, I can at least expect that much.
“Is it a bit much for you? After all, it’s your mother’s side of the family.”
“If I think about my mother, my feelings are actually on the bad side. Regardless of that, if you want it, it will happen.”
“What?”
“Whether it’s lightning or an earthquake. It will collapse just as you wish.”
“Really? Should I start praying with a bowl of pure water from today?”
“Even without praying, everything you want will come true.”
The hand gripping the back of my neck dug into my hair. He pulled me in gently, and as our lips met, Kwon Yi-kang smiled.
“Just as the rising moon sets, and the setting sun rises again.”
“You idiot. That’s just how it naturally works.”
“That’s exactly how natural it is. Whatever you want.”
It’s only natural that it all comes true. As he whispered, his lips against mine were soft. He was as solemn as a praying priest, as tender as a mother soothing a child. Kwon Yi-kang’s kindness was unfathomably deep.
“I… have one more thing I want right now.”
At my drawn-out words, Kwon Yi-kang met my gaze intensely. Looking into his eyes, which told me to say anything, I pulled his tie instead of answering.
“I can’t do this alone. You have to help me.”
“Anything.”
“Anything?”
I moved my body over Kwon Yi-kang’s thighs as he nodded. Being careful not to accidentally hit the horn, I reached out and pushed the seat back. The distance from the steering wheel made it much easier to move.
“I’m thinking of doing something shameless, like having sex right in front of a funeral home. And adding the fantasy of car sex to it.”
“Specifically at this time, in this place, in this cramped state?”
“Yeah. Specifically.”
“It certainly seems like you’ll need my help.”
Even though he had already grown hard just from my touch, his voice remained composed. As I lowered the zipper and slid my hand into the gap, the object, heated to a pleasant temperature, throbbed beneath the underwear.
As I rubbed up and down along the thick shaft, tracing the outline over the fabric, a low groan wet my ear. When I licked his neck as if caressing his cheek, his Adam’s apple bobbed in response.
“They can’t see us from outside, right?”
“You’re going to bare your ass here?”
A hand slipped through the gap of my loose pants, rubbing the crack of my buttocks. The sensation of his touch moving against my underwear was teasing, making me wet my lips. I could guess that this was how Kwon Yi-kang felt when I touched him.
“I’ve been completely naked before; an ass is nothing.”
“Still, I can’t just show mine off.”
Strictly speaking, it wasn’t Kwon Yi-kang’s ass, but mine.
I undid my belt and pushed my pants and underwear down. Wriggling my body to shake off the clothes, I stepped onto the seat and crouched down. Looking down, I saw my small member dangling.
My pitiful thing, lacking even testicles. Every time I confirmed it, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of misery, so I decided to just ignore it.
I undid Kwon Yi-kang’s belt and lowered the zipper, pulling it open on both sides. I rescued his member, which was struggling as if it were suffocating, trapped by his underwear.
I saved you, so now pay your debt with your body.
Soothed the large object with one hand while groping my dry hole with the other. Both the location and the state of my hole were equally tight. As I fiddled with my fingers, trying to widen it even a little, I stumbled, and Kwon Yi-kang hurriedly wrapped his arms around my back.
“You’re really planning to do this.”
“I’ve already stripped my lower half; why the sudden surprise?”
“True. I pretended to ask too late.”
Letting out a low laugh, he took off his jacket and wrapped it around my waist. The back of the suit jacket covered my naked buttocks like a cape.
“You won’t be able to see it anyway, are you that concerned about my ass?”
“Is it just the ass? I hate the idea of leaving you exposed to the outside.”
Pushing aside the finger that had been poking my hole, his thick hand dove in skillfully, as if walking a familiar path. It had been difficult to even insert one knuckle, but as if by magic, his fingers pushed all the way in and stirred the inside.
“Ah, ……ngh.”
My dried-up hole cried out in pain. Strangely, I tasted iron in my mouth. As I frowned and clung to the shoulder I was holding, his fingers moved slowly, rubbing the inner walls as if to soothe me.
It was fascinating how the inner walls became wet with even a slight stimulus. Even without lubricant, the parched hole would become wet enough for insertion after just a few pokes. Like now.
“Put it in quickly. Please?”
“You get aroused quickly.”
Who could I even compare myself to, getting hard the moment he touched me? Still, I had no intention of arguing with Kwon Yi-kang. I was certainly becoming aroused faster and more intensely than usual.
The sense of immorality from insulting the deceased and the desire displayed in front of Cha Baek-joo’s funeral hall pushed my excitement higher than ever.
It was Kwon Yi-kang who hurriedly withdrew his hand when I tried to sit directly down on the hard object. In that brief moment, he thrust his glans into the gap that had opened and closed slightly, and immediately lowered my body.
The large club pushed through the inner walls with force. As I trembled, unable to even let out a moan, a large hand slowly stroked my body, which had stiffened from tension.
“What’s the rush?”
“Because you aren’t rushing…… so I did.”
“Were you suddenly worried someone might see?”
“No. I just wanted to eat it quickly.”
The long, large member vanished completely without leaving a trace. Like a fish pierced by a harpoon, my toes twitched reflexively, and I gasped for deep breaths.
Kwon Yi-kang reached out, gripped both my buttocks, and repeatedly pulled me back and pushed me down with force. Feeling the member slide out halfway and then push back in, I leaned my cheek against Kwon Yi-kang’s shoulder.
Listening to the heartbeat felt from the chest facing me, I swayed helplessly under Kwon Yi-kang’s touch, contrary to the boldness with which I had climbed on top.
“You acted…… like you wouldn’t, hng……”
“Since we started, we might as well finish quickly.”
“Why? Do you want to cum fast?”
“It’s bad for prenatal education. The position is uncomfortable, too. The baby is struggling.”
This wasn’t something to just laugh off; I really needed to go to the hospital soon. I wondered what kind of face Kwon Yi-kang would make when he heard that the only thing in my stomach was a roundworm.
“Just imagine. If I were actually pregnant and a baby was in here, what would I think while we’re fucking? The kid is sleeping, and then something keeps poking. ‘What is this?’ and then it’s Dad’s dick—the kid’s feelings might get a bit complicated.”
At my hypothesis, Kwon Yi-kang stopped moving abruptly. Setting aside the feelings of a child who may or may not exist, it seemed Kwon Yi-kang’s own feelings had become complicated right now.
Giggling, I grabbed Kwon Yi-kang’s cheek firmly and kissed him. I bit his lip with my teeth, sucking harshly and pushing my tongue inside. The grip on my buttocks tightened.
“If a baby comes, it’ll get bigger and bigger, so it’ll be uncomfortable every time we fuck. The kid is uncomfortable, but I want to do it. Then what will you do? Will you do it or not?”
Just because a baby is born doesn’t mean sexual desire disappears, nor do pheromones dull; I’d still get excited and go into heat just the same. When I asked what he would do then, Kwon Yi-kang couldn’t easily find an answer. The lip I was biting trembled slightly, opening and closing repeatedly.
“Hey, are you seriously debating between me and a kid whose face you don’t even know?”
“Still, if the child is uncomfortable……”
“Look at you.”
I yanked his hair and tightened my lower muscles. Kwon Yi-kang frowned as the hole clamped shut.
“Does the kid come out in ten months? Do you have the confidence to last ten months without eating me?”
Of course, I didn’t have that confidence. I had neither the patience nor the endurance. Since I wasn’t the one who brought up prenatal education in the first place, it didn’t matter.
“Your free-spirited way of speaking is fine, but it would be better to refine your words a bit.”
“My mouth was born this way. If you keep talking about prenatal education, I’ll give the kid sex education and life lessons before they’re even born.”
“That’s why I like that mouth of yours. Let’s relax now.”
At my non-threat, Kwon Yi-kang coaxed me with a sweet voice, kissing my cheek and jaw. As he soothed me by rubbing my buttocks like dough, I released the member I had been clamping down on.
The member, which had slid back as if finally catching its breath, smoothly dove back inside. I braced myself with my legs and moved my body to match the rhythm.
My body swayed like a wave. My body, which had been bobbing up and down, was caught by a hand that moved from my buttocks to my waist, shaking me back and forth and moving in circular motions. The inner walls, softened by the member poking here and there, pulsed as if they were alive.
I softly wrapped around the thick, swollen member, tightening, kneading, and sucking as if trying to draw the essence out. Whether that effort reached him or not, Kwon Yi-kang’s movements gradually became rougher.
I twisted my body at the pleasure rising from below. I felt as if my brain, aroused to its limit, was melting from the transmitted pleasure. As I arched my back, a firm hand supported the nape of my neck.
The steering wheel touched my back. I leaned my body into it with force and put strength into my waist, which had been swaying helplessly. As I moved my pelvis as if dancing, I could see the erect member shaking back and forth beneath the open shirt.
Honk—!
Startled by the sharp sound of the horn, I bolted upright. I clung to Kwon Yi-kang’s neck, pressing my body close, and looked around, but there was no one wandering the darkened hospital parking lot.
“Where did the courage to bare your ass go?”
“Doing it in secret and honking while we’re fucking here are two different things.”
I let out a sigh, stroking my chest. My lower back felt chilly from the sudden cold sweat.
As I relaxed my body, which had stiffened from tension, I also released the member I had been clamping. I giggled and kissed him repeatedly, as if praising Kwon Yi-kang for enduring it without a word despite it likely hurting.
Though I had stiffened momentarily in surprise, it wasn’t difficult to bring back the arousal by moving the connected parts. Still, as Kwon Yi-kang said, I felt a sense of urgency to finish quickly.
Pulling my body close so as not to touch the steering wheel, Kwon Yi-kang repeatedly thrust upward from below using only his waist strength. As the member slammed in roughly as if to punch a hole, I pressed my legs tight against his body and braced myself.
The member, forcing its way through the inner walls that were closing tight as if squeezing, pressed into the sensitive spot as if digging, pulled out, and then thrust back in powerfully. The palms holding my shoulders became damp with sweat.
“Haa, ngh…… quickly, cum quickly……”
The voice begging him to sow his seed, wetting the inner walls, didn’t feel like my own. Rubbing my flushed face against the stiff shoulder of the suit, I bobbed my waist instead of my body, which was held tight and unable to move.
Pressing my held body down and thrusting as deep as possible into the groin, Kwon Yi-kang let out a low groan, and simultaneously, something hot exploded inside.
I caught my breath, cradling the member that never settled for just once and still hadn’t lost its hardness. Feeling a slapping sensation, I moved slightly and looked down to see my own member, limp and glistening, as if it had reached the stage of reflexively ejaculating without even being touched.
“I should use a condom when we do it outside.”
“Did it leak?”
Feeling the hand groping my buttocks, I leaned my languidly stretching body against him.
“No, I ruined the clothes because I came. I think I’m the one who needs to use the condom.”
For cleanliness, not contraception? It wasn’t the correct use, but regardless, isn’t it better to use it if needed?
Since making a fuss over already wet clothes wouldn’t change anything, I just leaned comfortably against Kwon Yi-kang and steadied my breathing. I felt moderately languid, tired, and perfectly relaxed.
“I’m strange, aren’t I?”
“What is?”
“Liking it this much after killing someone. Eating, sleeping, and having sex as if nothing happened. I wonder if it’s okay to be this indifferent. I am strange, right?”
Worried that my body temperature might drop after the explosive heat, Kwon Yi-kang rubbed my bare buttocks and legs with his hands to provide warmth, and pressed his lips firmly against my forehead and cheek.
“You said he was a bad man. You even said he did bad things to you. Then it’s only natural to be happy. Wouldn’t it be stranger to cry? Why is it strange to be honestly happy and glad? It’s worse to be hypocritically sad.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.”
“I killed someone, ……are you really okay?”
Am I really okay to you, since I killed someone? In truth, this was what I was still anxious about. Rather than my own indifference, I was constantly anxious about what you thought while looking at me.
“I believe I told you. If you want, you can kill more. If you hate it, I can kill for you. I don’t care what you do. If that’s what you want, it’s all okay. There is nothing for you to be anxious about.”
I’m not a murderer who just wants to kill people indiscriminately. I killed Cha Baek-joo because I had a reason.
Even knowing that, I felt I understood the heart of Kwon Yi-kang, who told me this. And so, I became anxious again. Whether I was a person deserving of Kwon Yi-kang’s heart.
When I breathed out my anxiety, I was comforted, and from that comfort, another anxiety was born. Anxiety feeds on anxiety and gives birth to more anxiety. It was a repeating phenomenon, yet Kwon Yi-kang embraced me without tiring.
“You can do whatever you want. Everything will be achieved.”
“Then what about you?”
“…….”
“What is it that you want?”
Will the things you want also be achieved? I want to know what you want. What you are thinking. Whether you, who are just kind and gentle without greed, also have something you desire. I wanted to know those inner thoughts.
“Let’s go meet your mother.”
In a way, the woman who is the closest blood relative to you and has no connection to me. A woman who has no legal connection to you but is a blood relative to me. Let’s go see that person, whom neither of us has ever seen and could only imagine.
I couldn’t even guess what emotions Kwon Yi-kang, who must have spent nearly fifteen years in anger, longing, and frustration knowing of her existence, holds now. But I thought it was time to see the end of those emotions.
∞ ∞ ∞
I had felt it on the first day of the funeral, but as expected, it was different from the second son’s funeral. The number of people gathered was incomparably larger, and the sunken atmosphere and the presence of people crying were enough to make it look like a proper funeral.
Looking only at Grandfather’s heavy face, Father’s grief-stricken face, and the sister-in-law following behind with sobbing sounds, it was a perfect funeral. The problem was that the atmosphere broke when you included the expressionless Omega father and me, standing there wide-eyed.
The hearse led the way, and Grandfather, the fathers, and the sister-in-law all boarded the cars and departed. I boarded the car that approached me and closed the door.
“Follow slowly behind, then park the car in the parking lot.”
“Pardon?”
“Slip away to the parking lot so they don’t notice. Don’t follow them.”
His face looked like it needed an explanation, but instead of asking, Lee Kyung-jin followed the funeral procession as I requested, then branched off and returned to the parking lot.
“Shouldn’t you be following them?”
“Yeah, you don’t have to follow. I have business at the hospital, so the driver can stay here. Actually, he can go eat or take a rest. If the family or Chief Bae contacts you, just tell them I stopped by somewhere for some business.”
“But……, I understand. I will wait here.”
“Actually, you could just go home for the day. But you wouldn’t even if I told you to, would you?”
“Of course.”
No matter how firmly he answered, no words of gratitude came out. Still, just by not forcing me to go along, Lee Kyung-jin was a person who prioritized me. For that, I was grateful.
“I’ll be back.”
I took out my phone as I got out of the car. When I made the call, it connected immediately as if he had been waiting.
“Where are you?”
—Parking lot.
“The parking lot is huge. If you say it like that, how am I supposed to find you?”
As if responding to my scolding, the horn went honk—! Looking toward the sound, a familiar head popped up, having likely stepped out of the car.
“I see you. I’m coming.”
I hung up and ran toward Kwon Yi-kang. As always, his hair was neatly groomed and he was in a tidy suit, but unlike usual, his expression looked a bit anxious. Since I knew the reason why, I didn’t point it out.
“You’re not late.”
Normally, he would have hugged me with a smile or said something back, but Kwon Yi-kang kept his mouth shut and lowered his gaze.
“Why that face? You look like a cow being dragged to a slaughterhouse.”
It’s not like I’m dragging him to kill him, nor is he a child being dragged to the hospital because he hates shots. He was making my heart ache just by looking at him. I quietly approached and wrapped my arms around Kwon Yi-kang’s waist.
“It’s not that you don’t want to meet her.”
“…….”
“I heard you even visited Grandfather because you wanted to see her.”
“I was young then.”
“What does age have to do with a child wanting to see their parent? Besides, no matter what happened or how you feel now, you want to see her at least once.”
I wasn’t used to seeing a man who was always confident looking so nervous. I was pretending not to notice because I knew the reason; otherwise, I might have smacked the back of his head.
“Let’s go.”
I grabbed his hand and led Kwon Yi-kang. As we approached the hospital building, his footsteps became heavier. I wanted to know what he was thinking and what emotions were swirling inside, but it was something I had to wait for until he spoke.