By Zephyria 
“Wake me up next time if it happens again.”
At my words, Aska looked up at me. His eyes were hazy, as if he was still sleepy.
“Why?”
“So you won’t sleep-talk.”
“Uhhmm.”
Aska, letting out a long, unintelligible groan, swayed back and forth before leaning on my shoulder. The distance between his neck and face was so close that I felt ticklish every time he breathed slowly, and goosebumps rose whenever his eyelashes brushed against me.
I wanted to push him away, but I silently hoped he would fall asleep like this for a while.
Returning to the banquet hall was absolutely impossible, and I needed to get to Talim as quickly as possible. After getting there, I had to come back, and no matter how I thought about it, there wasn’t enough time.
But I couldn’t leave Aska here, and sending him alone in a carriage felt uneasy. I would only feel relieved after seeing him safely in his room, lying on his bed.
If I showed up at the banquet hall alone, late, I would surely receive glares, but there was no other choice.
“Are you asleep?”
I quietly asked, listening to his steady breathing. No answer came. I carefully took off my coat and placed it over Aska’s head, and picked up the veil that had fallen to the floor. I somehow folded and gathered his arms and legs, stuffing them inside his clothes to wrap him up as tightly as possible. Then, I held him in my arms and started walking.
It took quite a while, and I almost dropped him, but Aska didn’t move an inch, as if he were dead. If I hadn’t felt his breath on my skin, I probably would have woken him up.
After leaving the garden and walking a bit, I started seeing people. I roughly called out to anyone and told them to bring a coachman. Since they recognized me, they would find the carriage I had come in.
Soon, I saw the coachman running towards me, panting heavily. He must have been flustered to be summoned when the banquet hadn’t even ended yet.
The coachman looked at the unidentified bundle of cloth in my arms and moved discreetly, as if he had figured something out. Like thieves running away with stolen goods, we went to the back gate and barely managed to get into the carriage.
Now that he was taller and heavier, I was out of breath carrying him. He couldn’t support himself and was limp, making it even harder than usual.
In the carriage, I collapsed with Aska for a moment to catch my breath before unwrapping the tightly wrapped cloth. He was sleeping soundly with a bright red face, probably because he was too hot.
“……”
Suddenly, he looked a bit annoying, so I pinched his cheek and stretched it. I didn’t even do it that hard, but Aska’s brow immediately furrowed.
“No, sleep. I’m sorry, it’s nothing. Sleep tight.”
Startled, I gently stroked the cheek I had pinched and tried to get him back to sleep, but his eyes suddenly snapped open. Aska, looking at me with eyes so clear that you wouldn’t think he had been sleeping, abruptly raised his upper body.
“Where are you going?”
“Going home.”
“Why? I’m not leaving yet?”
Aska frowned deeply, as if he didn’t like something, and looked around. He punched the soft sofa a few times with his fist and then opened the curtains to check the outside situation. He seemed much more lucid than before, but his behavior was still strange.
After fiddling around on his own for a while, Aska suddenly asked when his eyes met mine.
“My back hurts.”
“Suddenly? Why?”
“It keeps shaking.”
Even though we were moving slowly, it was naturally more uncomfortable than standing still. It was just a slight vibration, but he didn’t seem to like even that. Was he dizzy?
“Just bear with it a little longer. We’re almost there.”
“Let’s just get off.”
“No.”
“We can just walk. It’s not that far.”
“……”
“Quickly.”
He started acting up, even stomping his feet, so there was nothing I could do. Fortunately, we were out of Sa Dillin.
“Wait here, then. Let me fix my clothes.”
I stalled for as long as possible to get closer to Talim. But even that couldn’t be done for long because Aska kept giving me the side-eye and clicking his tongue.
As soon as the carriage stopped and the door opened, Aska darted out without looking back. He tried to run in the direction we had come from, so I quickly followed and grabbed his wrist.
“We have to go this way, not that way.”
Judging by his expression, it seemed like he knew and was doing it on purpose, so I sighed and asked.
“Do you hate going that way so much?”
“Can’t we go out and play in the market?”
“Go outside the city altogether? Of course not.”
“We can sneak out.”
I firmly held Aska’s hand and started walking. He tried to resist and wouldn’t move, but as I kept pulling, he was dragged along in my hand.
“Then let’s go swimming.”
“Do it tomorrow. Let’s sleep first today.”
“No……”
Aska’s voice started to tremble when I spoke firmly. Realizing this, I turned my head and saw tears welling up in his big eyes. I sighed inwardly but swallowed it down and spoke calmly.
“Then let’s take a nap first and go swimming after we wake up.”
“I can’t……. Today is the last day…….”
The last day of what, all of a sudden? As I tilted my head in confusion, Aska raised his hand and rubbed his eyes roughly. I lowered myself slightly to match his eye level and held Aska’s hands.
“Rub gently. Don’t rub like that, just lightly, like you’re dabbing away the tears.”
“Why?”
Aska asked in a nasal voice. His eyes were red from the earlier rubbing, as if they would bleed. I clicked my tongue and gently stroked his eyes with my thumb, asking.
“What did you mean by ‘the last day’ earlier?”
“The last time we can play together…….”
“What?”
“We can’t play together anymore.”
“Why?”
It wasn’t like the world was ending tomorrow, so why couldn’t we play? Was he just saying whatever because he was drunk? Because he wanted to play? I looked at him with slightly suspicious eyes, and Aska continued.
“You tomorrow…….”
“Tomorrow?”
“You’re getting married…….”
“I am? Tomorrow?”
Taken aback by the absurd words, I asked back, and Aska widened his eyes. Even though I had clearly wiped them away earlier, tears had welled up in them again in the meantime.
“You’re not?”
“I’m not getting married tomorrow?”
“You’re getting married eventually, though.”
“That’s true. But anyway, it’s not tomorrow…….”
Before I could finish speaking, water started pouring from his large eyes. To exaggerate a bit, it was almost like a waterfall.
“What does that have to do with playing? We can still play together even after I get married.”
“Hic…….”
“Who says that? Who says we can’t play together? I’m telling you we can! We can swim, take walks, and go to the village.”
“No…….”
“I’m telling you we can?”
“No, we can’t. I’m telling you we can’t.”
My tone gradually became mixed with annoyance at his crying and whining. Aska, who had initially just been sobbing with his shoulders shaking, started pushing my shoulder. It was such a light push that I didn’t even move back, which made me even more puzzled.
He was clearly annoyed and crying, but somehow it seemed like he was acting coquettishly. Aska and acting coquettishly? It was like oil and water, an incompatible combination.
I was taken aback, but at the same time, I realized once again how amazing alcohol was.
“Don’t do it because you can’t…….”
He was mumbling so quietly that I would have missed his voice if I had thought about something else even for a moment. I focused with a serious expression, determined not to miss a single syllable, waiting for the next words to come.
I was staring intently, but Aska didn’t make eye contact with me even once. The meaning of the words he was constantly repeating was ultimately the same.
“Just don’t do it.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t do it…….”
“Don’t do what?”
The more I asked, the quieter his voice became. I knew what he was talking about even without hearing the subject, but I kept asking as if urging him on.
Finally, Aska looked at me resentfully with tears welling up in his eyes. His face, of course, as well as his neck, ears, and even the tips of his fingers holding me, were all flushed with heat, like looking at red flower petals.
His hand, clutching my collar as if he was anxious, moved incessantly. He fidgeted, tearing, crumpling, pulling at the fabric, and after fiddling for a while, he struggled to bring out the words that were inside him.
“Marriage…….”
“Don’t get married?”
At my question, Aska nodded vigorously as if he had been waiting for it.
Looking at that, I felt like I had been hit in the back of the head with a large hammer. Even in the midst of such shock, I still didn’t feel like giving Aska the answer he wanted.
If I waited just a little longer, Aska would be too embarrassed to say it properly, and would eventually cry and beg even more desperately, just as I wanted.
“Say it again. Clearly.”
An emotion resembling an indescribable malice dominated my mind. Aska looked at me with wide eyes like a frightened rabbit, and then tears streamed down his face. And he moved his lips and pleaded.
“With someone else…….”
“…….”
With someone else, what?
“Don’t……marry?”
Don’t? Don’t do it?
He was speaking so slowly that it was frustrating, but I willingly waited and urged him on only in my mind. Aska, looking nervous, heaved his chest and took a deep breath, then whispered to me, who was listening intently.
“Don’t play…….”
“What?”
“Only play with me…….”
“…….”
But what I heard was a little different from what I wanted to hear. No, not a little, but a lot different. The tightly wound string snapped, and I instantly lost all strength. Regardless of my bewildered heart, Aska continued to plead, sobbing sorrowfully.
“Play the leaf whistle, the top of the tree…….”
“…….”
“I’ll do it more fun, hic……. I’ll do it……. Heuk……. Hic…….”
“…….”