By Zephyria 
Thud. The kick sent his body reeling backward. He tried to brace himself, but this time, he was struck in the abdomen. With a crash, the furniture on one side of the barracks went tumbling. Ire bit back a groan and staggered to his feet.
While Park Woo-jin was gone to Area C, things had been bearable, and after he returned and went on a reward vacation for three nights and four days, it had been wonderful. But as soon as he came back, he started picking fights over nothing, and the beatings began again.
The training intensity was already high, and bruises never had a chance to fade from his body, but with the added beatings, it was even harder to endure. Park Woo-jin approached, grinning, and poked Ire’s chest with his finger, again and again.
“So, why, did you hold out and make it this bad, huh?”
“……”
“Go back to your family and where you used to live, even now.”
“……”
“Oh, right. Did you say your adoptive father went missing?”
His patience was on the verge of snapping. He clenched his teeth, and Park Woo-jin tapped his cheek with the back of his hand. What are you going to do, looking at me with those eyes? He threatened, guaranteeing that Ire wouldn’t last even half a year here. He would make sure of it.
It was Saturday, and everyone was going home, but the atmosphere in the barracks was bleak. Park Woo-jin relentlessly criticized him. In the end, he cursed him as a pathetic bastard who couldn’t even fight back and then stormed out.
Sighing, Ire returned to his bunk, and complaints erupted from all around.
“You should have just dropped out while we were out on deployment.”
“How could you even think of staying after causing such a ruckus at the completion ceremony? I don’t get it.”
“I heard your father didn’t just go missing, but he’s Infected and locked up somewhere. Is that true?”
Ire didn’t respond and packed his things. He wished he were locked up somewhere, at least so he would know if he was alive or dead. There was no progress in finding Matteo, and his insides were burning up day by day. People around him told him to give up, but he was never the type to do that in the first place.
He slung his bag over his shoulder and went outside to meet Seo Young-jun. The day had grown hotter. He boarded a bus heading downtown, and thankfully, the air conditioning was on. Compared to District B, where he had to endure the heat and cold with his bare skin, this place was paradise.
Of course, that wasn’t the case for everyone.
“Look, what do you think?”
In the car, Seo Young-jun rolled up his sleeve. There was a new drawing that hadn’t been there before, but the shape was a bit strange. It only had what looked like an ear. As soon as Ire asked what it was, Oh Nam-gi, who was in the back seat, suddenly leaned forward and butted in.
“This bastard got sick and quit halfway through. Thanks to that, he only got the precious ear and eye done.”
He chuckled and teased him, calling him an idiot. He had confidently said he was going to draw a tiger, but he only drew an ear, making it look like there were just two mountain peaks.
“I’ve had a severe phobia of needles since I was a kid. My mom had to bribe me with candy during vaccinations.”
“That’s something to be proud of, you crazy bastard. Ire, you haven’t gotten yours yet, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you decided what you’re going to get?”
He shook his head. He didn’t particularly want a tattoo. No, it would be more accurate to say that he wasn’t interested in anything right now. Then, Oh Nam-gi belatedly noticed the other cheek, which had turned red, and frowned.
“Did you get hit again?”
“Yeah.”
Seo Young-jun was furious and made even more of a fuss.
“That’s too much, damn it. Why don’t you tell Kim Ha-yoon? Tell him to punish that bastard. You two are close, right?”
Ire gave a bitter smile. Just like he didn’t know everything about Matteo, he wondered if there were things he didn’t know about Kim Ha-yoon either. He had that thought last night. Why did he live thinking that what he saw was everything?
Then, Non-commissioned officers and superiors began to board the bus one by one. The once lively atmosphere inside quickly quieted down.
Throughout the bus ride, Ire couldn’t take his eyes off the changing scenery outside the window. People’s clothes had changed, and the flowers had disappeared, replaced by lush green leaves. He realized how much time had passed.
After an hour’s drive, they arrived at their destination, and Ire parted ways with Seo Young-jun and Oh Nam-gi before heading home. As he walked down the street, some neighbors came out to trim their lawns and made eye contact with him. As soon as he bowed, they hurried inside.
He was still a stranger and an uncomfortable presence here.
Hiding his gloomy mood, he entered the house, where Anna greeted him with a smile. The scar on her neck was fading day by day. He suddenly wished that memories could fade like scars too.
As he exchanged greetings with her, he heard sobbing nearby. When he asked Anna, she gave him a troubled look. John had just come in from outside and was acting like that. He went into the room and saw John squatting on the floor, surrounded by the other kids trying to comfort him.
“John. What’s wrong?”
He looked up, his face a mess of tears. When he saw Ire, he burst into tears as if overwhelmed with sorrow. Could it be that he missed Matteo? He was one of the kids who asked, “Where’s Daddy?” every time they met, so it was highly likely.
But what came out of his mouth was something completely different.
“Brother… can’t we go back to where we used to live?”
When he asked why, he explained, tears streaming down his face, that he had tried to play with some kids at the playground, but they had called him Infected. They said his father was Infected, so he was too.
His heart sank at the unexpected words.
“I don’t like it here. I don’t like kindergarten, I don’t like anything… I want to go home. I don’t need to eat good food. So let’s go home… The kids at kindergarten don’t play with me either. They all avoid me and don’t talk to me… The teacher too… the teacher too…”
He bit his small lips several times, trying not to cry, but he couldn’t bear it any longer and buried his face in his knees. His tiny shoulders trembled. He felt like he was plummeting to the ground when he learned something he had never known. Just in case, he looked at the other children, but they avoided his gaze.
Only then did he realize. That he wasn’t the only one experiencing this. That he wasn’t the only one being treated like that in the military. That the things that had been happening subtly had worsened since Matteo’s incident.
After comforting the crying child, he went outside, where Anna sat across from him with a dark expression.
“I didn’t know it was this bad. I’ll stop by the kindergarten and school tomorrow.”
“……”
“You can’t waver just because the children are acting like that, Ire. Now that Matteo is gone, you’re practically their guardian. You have to stand firm more than anyone.”
Anna’s words were correct. Matteo had always been like that. If I disappear, you have to be the children’s guardian. But that guardian role didn’t suit someone like him. Everything felt overwhelming and painful, like being crushed by a huge rock.
Matteo’s absence, the children’s wounds. How had Matteo endured this situation all this time? How many times had he wanted to cry while taking care of me since I was 16? How much had he wanted to run away?
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears, and then got up.
“I’m going out for a bit.”
“Where to?”
He didn’t say anything and just forced a smile, and Anna seemed to understand, nodding her head. She probably thought he was just going to the place he always visited.
He left the house and took public transportation to the bridge where Matteo had fallen, wandering aimlessly around the area. The bridge that had been damaged in the accident had been completely restored, and people were passing underneath as if nothing had happened.
He wandered aimlessly for several hours, and after watching the sunset, he made up his mind. Then, he headed not home, but to where Kim Ha-yoon was.
Looking at the building that seemed to reach the sky made his neck hurt. Kim Ha-yoon lived at the very top, on the highest floor of the tallest building in the city. Looking down on all the people below.
The guard at the entrance checked his identification and only let him in after a long wait. An employee, whom he hadn’t seen when he came with Kim Ha-yoon, guided him. He changed elevators twice before arriving at Kim Ha-yoon’s house. When he rang the bell, the employee he had seen before greeted him after a moment.
“Welcome. It’s been a while. Young Master is inside.”
He went to the living room, where Kim Ha-yoon was standing in front of the window, watching the sunset. The view from here was unobstructed, making it a spectacular sight. When he turned around, his face was full of smiles. Ire was relieved that he didn’t seem displeased by the sudden visit.
“What brings you here? You’re the one who came to see me first.”
“Have a seat first.” He sat down on one side of the sofa, and the employee soon brought tea. The steaming tea was a different color from what he had seen before.
“It’s imported black tea. It has a nice aroma.”
He smelled it, but he couldn’t tell what was so good about it. He just took a cursory sip and put it down, and Kim Ha-yoon, holding his teacup, looked at him with only his eyes moving. He seemed to be wondering what Ire was up to today.
Hesitantly, Ire carefully brought up the main topic.
“I want to go to District B.”
Kim Ha-yoon put down his teacup and chuckled.
“I wondered what you were going to say. Wait. I’ll get ready and come out.”
Ire grabbed him as he tried to get up. It’s not that…
“By myself…”
Kim Ha-yoon’s face hardened. There was no way a regular soldier, let alone an individual, could be issued a Pass. But Kim Ha-yoon was different. He went in and out of other districts as if they were his own home. So today, Ire had come to ask Kim Ha-yoon for a favor.
Not to punish Park Woo-jin or anything like that, but to allow him to go to the place where he used to live. But Kim Ha-yoon looked more displeased than ever.