Ire, having packed his things and stepped outside, looked up at the main building before boarding the bus. Kim Ha-yoon, who would appear at any time to torment people, hadn’t shown his face for a week. Ire thought he’d feel relieved if Kim Ha-yoon wasn’t around, but since the day before yesterday, he had been growing a little worried.
Whenever he did his laps, he’d unconsciously glance at the third floor of the main building. Was he sick? Come to think of it, he had been a little strange that day. Asking for a random favor out of the blue. Ire always thought he wasn’t normal, but could he have completely lost it? Even as he entertained absurd thoughts, he felt self-loathing, wondering why he kept thinking about that guy.
Sighing, he sat down, and Oh Nam-gi came and sat next to him. Seo Young-jun then boarded and sat right behind them.
“Ire, where are you headed?”
“The hospital.”
“Ah, to see your stepfather?”
“Yeah…”
“If you have time later, want to come? We found a new bar with killer girls.”
They were planning to meet girls and have a blast again today. Ire couldn’t understand why that was enjoyable.
“We’ll see.”
“You’re just going to say that and not come again, right?”
Instead of answering, Ire just gave a vague smile. The topic of conversation then shifted from girls to the upcoming graduation ceremony. With the training on the island being the last evaluation, he heard that more than half of the trainees would be discharged soon.
Ire thought he wouldn’t get any points for failing the hostage rescue, but the fact that all the team members survived and that they subdued the infected were recognized more than he expected. To top it off, taking Lee Ga-ram, who was on Park Mu-jin’s team, was also added to his score, which was ridiculous.
“Once I’m discharged, I’m just going to take over my dad’s business.”
“You have an older brother, though.”
“That guy’s a lost cause. He caused another accident this time, and Mom had him hospitalized.”
“Marijuana?”
“I wish it was just that. The thing about drugs is that you build up a tolerance and start looking for something stronger. He shouldn’t have touched it in the first place…”
While silently listening to their conversation, Ire looked out the window. According to Seo Young-jun, his family was suffering because of drugs. He also mentioned that District A severely punished drug use, unlike other districts.
In contrast, District B sold pills made from hallucinogenic herbs as painkillers. Gangsan had gotten some from somewhere a while back, and Ire had tried it, seeing all sorts of things flying around in front of his eyes. He got caught by Matteo afterward and was severely scolded, and he never touched it again.
Lost in old memories for a moment, the bus arrived downtown, and everyone got off and went their separate ways. Ire headed to the hospital where Matteo was hospitalized. He hadn’t realized it when he went with Kim Ha-yoon, but the hospital was more remote than he thought, requiring a long trip.
He arrived at the hospital room, but Matteo wasn’t there, so he immediately looked for a staff member.
“Excuse me, do you know where Matteo, I mean, Lee Seon-jae, went? He’s not in his room.”
The staff member tilted their head, about to contact someone, when Michael. Ire turned around at the sound of someone calling him. Matteo was standing there. Seeing him standing without a wheelchair, unlike before, made his heart swell. He approached with a welcoming face, and Matteo reached out his arm. As soon as he was in his embrace, Matteo patted his back, as always.
“Did you come alone?”
“Yeah. I missed you.”
“Let’s go. I moved rooms.”
As soon as they arrived at the new room, Ire was stunned. The room was clean and spacious, with luxurious-looking furniture instead of medical equipment.
He was admiring the refrigerator, table, and even the TV when a caregiver brought them drinks. He shook his head when asked if he wanted fruit too. After drinking his beverage, he brought over the wheelchair that was set aside.
“The weather’s nice today. Let’s go out.”
“I can walk now.”
“I don’t want to. I want to push you.”
Ire sat Matteo in the wheelchair and went outside. From behind, Matteo’s shoulders looked much thinner than before. When would he gain weight? He’d suffered enough; Ire hoped he could rest now.
Coming out of the hospital, the sunlight felt warmer than before. He chose a tree where flowers were starting to bloom and parked the wheelchair underneath it. Matteo got out of the wheelchair and moved to a bench, while Ire sat in the wheelchair in Matteo’s place and pressed various buttons.
Then, he moved right in front of Matteo.
“How was training? Did it go well?”
Ire had boasted that he could do well when he came before.
“I got my chances stolen by the other guys. I acted like an idiot.”
He had lost due to a hasty misjudgment, so it was entirely his fault. That damn Park Mu-jin. And then, the next day, he acted like he had some big secret, confusing people. Since he hadn’t mentioned it since, it was clear that he was trying to screw him over again.
Ire fiddled with his empty neck. He had to honestly say that he lost the necklace he received as a gift, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Then, his gaze shifted to Matteo’s fingers. A burn-like mark caught his eye. That burn was a scar from when he saved him at the cathedral that day. But before that, there seemed to be letters written there…
“What are you looking at so intently?”
“Your finger. Didn’t you have a tattoo before you got hurt?”
“A tattoo…?”
Matteo shook his head.
“No. I didn’t.”
Was he mistaken?
“Do you remember your childhood?”
At Matteo’s question, Ire was silent. Most of his memories had disappeared since the day the cathedral burned down. Matteo said it was because he was traumatized. That’s why he suffered so much whenever he had dreams, his whole body drenched in cold sweat.
“No… I guess I was mistaken.”
Then, he heard footsteps behind him.
Thinking it was the caregiver, Ire turned around, his eyes widening.
“Hello. It’s been a while.”
It was Anna, who took care of the children at Kim Ha-yoon’s request. Matteo also stood up. He greeted her politely, acting like someone he knew. He asked if she was doing well, if she was in any more pain, and then opened her bag and took something out. Unfolding the folded paper, there were letters written crookedly by the children.
“The children wrote them. Hoping their dad would come back soon.”
“Thank you every time.”
Every time? Was this not the first time? Unlike Matteo, who seemed normal, Anna’s face was flushed. Seeing that made him feel prickly and uncomfortable, like a thorn was stuck in his throat. Anna also brought pictures of the children. Matteo smiled as he looked at the youngest, who had grown so much while he was in the hospital.
“This little one’s gotten big. Michael, look at this.”
Ire went to his side and looked at the pictures together.
The youngest, Luca, was smiling brightly, making a V-shape with his fingers next to his chubby cheeks.
“Yeah. He’s grown a lot…”
Ire glanced at Anna. He wondered when she had started coming here. She seemed very comfortable talking to Matteo. After delivering the letters and pictures, she sat for about 20 minutes before saying goodbye and leaving.
Once she disappeared from sight, Ire belatedly opened his mouth.
“When did she start coming here?”
“It’s been a while. She said she was told to let me know how the kids are doing.”
“By who?”
“Your superior.”
He had several superiors, but Matteo was talking about Kim Ha-yoon. He wasn’t the type to take care of anyone. He didn’t know what his ulterior motive was, but he didn’t feel good about it. Seeing his distorted expression, Matteo smiled slightly.
“She’s a good person.”
“Do you like her?”
Matteo’s eyebrows rose. He seemed to understand what he meant then. Seeing his bitter smile, he regretted reacting so sensitively. He blamed himself for being petty and changed the subject.
“How long are you going to live alone? Are you going to die an old man because of us?”
“You idiot. Priests can’t get married.”
“You’re not even a real priest.”
At his grumbling, Matteo sat next to him and wrapped his arm around Ire’s head. Come here. Why are you so grumpy? Huh? What happened? Don’t tell me someone’s bullying you at the base? He struggled, his neck stuck in Matteo’s armpit, and finally managed to escape, and Matteo grinned.
“Don’t fight even if someone bullies you. Got it?”
“I don’t want to just take it.”
“You can just avoid them.”
He hated running away even more. He didn’t want to do that anymore. He was about to say that, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew what he was worried about. He kicked the ground with his toes for no reason and then got up. He had missed him a lot, but seeing him made his chest feel heavy, like a stone was placed on it.
“Get in. I’ll take you.”
Matteo got into the wheelchair without a word. The wind blew, and flower petals fell like rain. Matteo caught a falling petal with his hand and held it out.
“It’s a cherry blossom.”
“I know. I know that much.”
You’ve grown a lot. You even know that. Matteo smiled brightly, showing his teeth. Seeing that, his prickly heart melted away.
-Smile for me.
Why did that guy have to come to mind? Especially while he was with Matteo. He shook his head to clear his mind of thoughts about Kim Ha-yoon. He arrived at the hospital room and helped Matteo move to the bed and change into his hospital gown.
The red scar on his chest was clear. Seeing that made his heart ache. He thought only his body was thin, but his fingers were also weak, and he kept slipping. After helping him with the rest of the buttons, he laid him down on the bed.
He waited until he fell asleep before coming outside, where it was already pouring rain. Seeing the flower petals that had been scattered by the wind lying soaked on the ground made him feel gloomy for no reason.