By Zephyria 
“What would you like to drink?”
My uncle asked, feigning nonchalance. That attitude only made it more burdensome.
Haon pretended to look at the menu to collect himself. His hand was still held by Cha Jeong-won. Haon spoke in a small voice.
“Two Americanos, please. Is Americano okay for you, sunbae?”
Instead of answering, Cha Jeong-won gave his fingers a slight squeeze. It felt like a signal to do as he pleased, making Haon bite his lip even harder.
“I’ll make them right away.”
My uncle nodded and went inside, taking one last look at Haon’s hand as he did.
That brief line of sight turned Haon’s mind into a chaotic mess.
Haon stood blankly in front of the counter for a moment before gently pulling Cha Jeong-won toward a window seat.
As soon as they sat down, Haon muttered softly.
“We’re in big trouble.”
Cha Jeong-won turned his head.
“What is?”
It’s obvious I’ll have to tell my family.
I don’t know how to explain our relationship to my family.
What if they ask questions?
These thoughts came to mind one after another, but he couldn’t bring himself to say them to Cha Jeong-won.
We’re not even dating. But even if he explained it to Cha Jeong-won, he couldn’t predict his reaction, and if he asked what the problem was, Haon wouldn’t have a proper answer.
“Just… My uncle saw us.”
Cha Jeong-won thought for a moment before speaking very quietly.
“So what if he saw?”
That simple answer made Haon want to hide even more.
At the same time, that simplicity seemed to lighten the weight of Haon’s own complexity.
Haon looked out at the darkness outside the window, focusing on his fingertips. Cha Jeong-won was still holding his hand.
＊ ＊ ＊
As soon as they arrived home, Haon craned his neck to peer inside.
He was worried that his uncle might have already contacted his family. The scene of his mother coming out to interrogate the two of them after hearing the news played out in his mind automatically.
But the house was quiet. It seemed everyone was asleep.
Well, that’s even better.
Let’s not wake anyone else.
“You can leave your shoes here.”
Haon said quietly.
Cha Jeong-won neatly took off his shoes.
“Follow me.”
Haon walked on his tiptoes, trying hard to muffle the sound of his footsteps.
“Why are you walking like that?”
At Cha Jeong-won’s question, Haon looked back as if it were obvious. He was about to answer when he suddenly looked at Cha Jeong-won’s feet.
He wasn’t standing or walking on tiptoes like Haon was, yet he made no sound at all.
“Just come in first.”
Feeling suddenly foolish, Haon pulled Cha Jeong-won by the wrist into his room.
A blanket was already spread out on the floor.
Haon took Cha Jeong-won’s coat and hung it on a hanger.
“Do you want to shower first?”
At Haon’s question, Cha Jeong-won looked around the room as he answered.
“No, you go first.”
Haon thought it didn’t matter who showered first, but belatedly, he noticed where Cha Jeong-won’s gaze was directed and panicked.
He remembered where he was.
Cha Jeong-won started walking toward the bookshelf. Haon quickly grabbed his arm.
“No, you shower first, sunbae.”
“Your voice just jumped.”
“Did it? Maybe I drank too much wind. Anyway, you shower first.”
Failing to even manage a smile, Haon hurriedly pushed Cha Jeong-won’s back toward the bathroom.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not… fine. What’s all this stuff smeared on you?”
The words tumbled out. Haon was so surprised by his own words that he shut his mouth, but Cha Jeong-won wasn’t startled.
Instead, he just looked at Haon for a moment. Haon found himself unconsciously chewing on his lips.
Haon brushed off Cha Jeong-won’s shoulder. All that came off was dust and pheromones.
“Your pheromones are too strong. You should shower.”
Despite Haon’s lame excuse, Cha Jeong-won didn’t press further. Instead, he took a step closer, lightly touched the ends of Haon’s hair with his fingertips, and said calmly.
“Alright. I’ll shower first. Stop chewing your lips.”
The moment he heard that, Haon almost let out a scream instead of feeling relieved. He was so flustered he even felt like laughing.
Because the real thing was about to begin.
As Cha Jeong-won opened the bathroom door, he said.
“Don’t run away.”
Who’s running away!
He tried to snap back, but his voice caught in his throat. Haon nodded with a wronged expression, but Cha Jeong-won didn’t smile.
The fact that he didn’t smile was even scarier. As soon as the door closed, Haon moved frantically.
He barely glanced at the piles of paper stacked on the desk and the twin pictures stuck on the wall, pulling out a box tucked underneath.
Inside were files and envelopes labeled things like ‘Elementary School’ and ‘Middle School,’ seemingly organized yet not quite.
“I must be crazy. What was so good about collecting all this?”
Even as he cursed himself, he unfolded another piece of paper. It was a drawing from his childhood.
It was from before he even attended art academy, so the drawings he made just for fun couldn’t possibly be any good.
They can’t stand out. He had gathered only things that, while meaningless, would be the end of him if discovered now. He shoved the bundle of report cards deep inside and hastily folded a few of his childhood drawings.
“Why is this still stuck here?”
He also found a photo stuck to the wall under the desk.
From group photos with friends to graduation ceremony pictures. They were all childhood photos where he looked ridiculously funny.
“I shouldn’t have stuck them up.”
He should have just kept them neatly stored.
He peeled them all off for now. Then, he stuffed them all into a drawer and looked around to see if there was anything else to tidy up.
An album placed right in the middle of the bookshelf.
It was a thick album containing photos from his childhood to the present. He couldn’t understand why he had put it in such a conspicuous place.
It was nothing, and precisely because it was nothing, it was even more embarrassing. Haon grabbed the spine of the album, gave it a slight pull, then stopped again.
No. If I take this out, it’ll be even more obvious.
Just as that thought concluded, the sound of the room door opening came. Haon’s heart reacted first.
Too fast. He came out too quickly.
Haon froze in place, only turning his head.
Cha Jeong-won was standing in front of the room door, roughly drying his wet hair with a towel.
In that moment, Haon realized what he was holding in his hand. That was even more horrifying; he couldn’t even hide his hand behind his back and just smiled awkwardly.
“You’re already done showering?”
His tone rose strangely. It sounded less like a question and more like a statement of confirmation.
Before answering, Cha Jeong-won looked at Haon’s hand. In Haon’s hand was the corner of the album, stuck in a state where it was neither fully pulled out nor pushed back in.
Cha Jeong-won spoke slowly.
“You go shower too.”
“Uh… Yeah.”
Haon dragged out his words before answering.
If he refused to shower here, it would seem even more suspicious. Haon forced himself to act nonchalant and pushed the album back in. He could feel his hands trembling, so he had to pretend to be even calmer.
Next, Haon tried to walk out naturally. His gait was as usual.
As soon as he closed the bathroom door, Haon lightly bumped his forehead against the mirror.
“Why did he come out so fast?”
He didn’t even have time to consider how long he had spent tidying things up.
In the mirror, Haon’s face was flushed red. He washed his face with cold water first.
Get a grip. It’s not actually weird. There’s no one particularly interested anyway.
Even so, Haon’s nerves were entirely focused on Cha Jeong-won.
“He probably didn’t notice, right?”
＊ ＊ ＊
Haon roughly dried his hair and opened the room door. The room was quiet.
The quiet felt even more unusual.
As Haon took a step inside, Cha Jeong-won, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, looked up.
And in Cha Jeong-won’s hand was the album.
Haon’s body reacted first.
Haon closed the door and swiftly approached Cha Jeong-won at the same time.
“Sunbae, what are you looking at right now?”
Cha Jeong-won calmly turned a page of the album and said.
“Your photos.”
“Why… are you looking at that?”
“Didn’t you take it out for me to see?”
No.
Quite the opposite.
“I didn’t take it out, I was trying to tidy up…”
The more Haon muttered, the more Cha Jeong-won tilted his head slightly.
“Anyway, there’s nothing to see in that.”
Haon reached out to snatch the album away.
Cha Jeong-won raised his arm high enough that Haon’s hand couldn’t reach it. That relaxed demeanor only made Haon more irritated.
“Give it to me.”
“No.”
“Why not!”
“It’s fun.”
“What’s so fun about that!”
Haon gritted his teeth.
Cha Jeong-won teasingly turned another page. A photo of Haon’s childhood appeared. In that moment, Haon felt his ears burning.
He tried several more times to snatch it away, but all attempts failed.
He was thoroughly annoyed.
Isn’t there any way?
‘Ah!’
Then, I just have to make sure he can’t see it.
Haon fumbled along the wall and pressed the switch.
Click.
The room went dark.
Haon was sure of his victory.
Now he can’t see. It’s over now.
But at the same time, he realized a beat too late that his own eyes were also in the dark.
88 – NOT 88